All Comments on 'Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred Pt. 02: Alt. Ending'

When writing an alternate ending it is appropriate to reflect the original players characters. Creating totally new characters and only using the originals names is not an alternate ending. Pathetic. No wonder you turned off rating. 0*

It's hard to address the anons, since you all look alike. Although, in this case it seems to be the same person addressing myself, frontlinecastor, javmor, and c24j. Well, to go back and forth with a nameless idiot is retarded in itself, so that is all I will say about that. If you want a dialogue, leave me a way to address you. If you simply want to leave absurd comments, then continue. I will allow you to slither back where you came from. That is what you want, isn't it? Leave a comment that has no way of retaliation? Well, continue.

In case others may have missed the first comment, I actually DIDN'T like this story. But why let facts get in the way. You don't actually need a logical reason to leave juvenile comments. Just let them fly! Lol.

I'm having fun...

Harry is certainly right in one way; you didn't give anyone an opportunity to vote.

Keep writing, but let's leave this family to figure out their problems on their own.

Jedd Clampett

Wear your anger award from Swingerjoe with pride. He has created a record for the maximum number of angry responses elicited by a story in the shortest possible time and your response came out on top.

Of course he was making a point with his silly story. Nit-picking details which are irrelevant to the point he was making is also silly. Azahara was also making a point with the original story and his story's ending was no less silly than Swingerjoe's alternative ending. It all depends on your own standpoint which you perceive as the silliest.

L

Ps: As Joe said, he wrote a serious multi-part story and received relatively few comments. Silliness with a message seems to be the way to go to bring out the commentariat.

I really enjoyed this light and humorous ending. I thought the original ending was fine also, but this one was both entertaining and a nice illustration of how many different tacks a story can take with a skilled writer (or writers) at the helm.

Well Frontline, Lex, and C24j, I guess we are on a team of some sort. LOL. Though I don't know what we're competing for.

I missed the memo that said that I wasn't allowed to like a story that was unpopular. My bad. I guess that means I'm a swinger. Or a cuck. If I were a real manly man, then I would hate all swinging stories. Right? But, this isn't a swinging story. Well it has to be a cuck story then. Only, there is no cuckold...

So why are we cucks again?

Oh well. To understand the ramblings of a moron is a chore in itself. I give up. Anyways, good game guys! Go team!

An interesting and more humorous plot idea. While called an Alternate Ending its really an Alternate Story, but with a similar premise using the same characters, well, at least the same names. As others have pointed out, not really the same characters at all.

But what's wrong with that? I use my imagination to fill out the details of SJ's replot and see a stupid wife and a presumptuous husband making a mountain of shit out of a small pile of shit. Taking your panties off while dancing with anyone but your husband is not just flirting, that's a dangerous and well accepted come on to your dance partner. And I guess some could even see some prejudice toward homosexuals in SF's story: who says a queer can't eat pussy and fuck? And may choose to do so when its thrown in their face. What else would Sharon do on a dare?

So it reads like a fun diversion for SJ to deflate a story about a wife cruising toward an affair, and recreate a story about a wife forgetting propriety and dignity, and the need to Communicate with a husband before dirty dancing with anyone else, of any sex or sexual orientation. Kind of interesting, kind of lame, but not a bad rewrite idea, even if not that well executed.

SJ, try again, with another story. And thanks for your time and energy on this one.

What disrespect. And I mean from her to him. She knew exactly what she was doing. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find that she set up that little show just for her husband to cover her bs. Don't need that type of wife at all. What a bitch. I believe she also set up the "girlfriend" thing. Too many questions.

Wondered how long it would be before bonny/vasty would stick her fat nose into the fray. And as always her rants are meaningless.

Let me enlighten you, since you're too dumb to know better. All anonymous comments can be turned off by the author, just like the voting. It's up to the author, not you bony. Get that through that stupid head of yours. Learn the rules of this site before you start spouting off things you know nothing about. Damn you're dense.

No comment on story, don't read this writers rants. From the comments I gather there are many others that should have skipped this one too.

for the texts between Luke and wifey.

It doesn't fit with so many details from the original that it's really not an alternative ending so much as a re-imagining of the whole original story.

I wrote my first comment before reading your defenses of your ending. The problem is that your criticisms of other writers (and that's what they were when you stated you wanted to teach them they don't need to follow the same standard boilerplate: you perceive yourself as better than them) applies to your ending in spades. You could have written a nuanced more balanced rebuttal making the same point instead of using every cliche that you could think of. It would have made your point better than using the approach of "I'll see how ridiculous I can make the characters" to hit your fellow writers and readers over the head. At least I would have appreciated a more realistic approach to making your point, which I in fact agree with. Your less thoughtful approach actually defeats your purpose and actually makes people harden their positions. Of course, if your approach was to merely stir a hornet's nest you succeeded.

anon.1

The two biggest problems:

1. The fact that the text messages say a completely different story, is a big issue.

2. Sharon's personality (along with the rest of the characters) seems way off in comparison to first part.

The only way this part would even seem remotely in line with the first part is for there to be a 3rd part. Possibly where Bob discovers that this meeting was all an act to throw him off the trail of her real lover / paramour; which case the marriage would go down in spectacular flames...

Although, I can definitely see why this author did not & wouldn't enable voting/rating.

If you go back and read those texts from the perspective of the alternate ending, it all makes sense. Luke was teasing his friend for making such a spectacle of herself. She felt embarrassed by it all, and said she was acting "slutty." But there's a good reason women often have such great relationships with gay men: they can act as "slutty" as they want, and there is no expectation for sex. (There is also no competition for straight men, as there is with female friends.)

Luke booked a hotel room for he and Sam, and offered to let her stay with them until she sobered up (assuming they would drink too much.)

Sharon wasn't aware that lady's night had been cancelled until after her conversation with Bob, so it wasn't a lie by omission. When Luke asked her to join him and Sam for dinner, she thought nothing of it, so that wasn't a "lie", either. She simply found no reason to tell Bob something he wouldn't care about.

It's easy enough for the reader to fill in the blanks between the two stories, but it seems a lot of readers are more concerned with finding the smallest of discrepancies to quibble with.

Javmor79, Lex1, et al. - The 'team' represents our entry into the International competition to become the most hated by misogynists and those not capable of independent and/or intellectual thought or analysis. One of the keys is to be able to appreciate (and even be entertained by) a story or discourse from a perspective that may be wildly different from one's own. Another is to be singled out for ad hominem attacks. Bonus points if the attacker fails to provide any logical premise for the attack. Important also is not to directly denigrate our attackers . . . this is very difficult. (I admit to almost caving with the term 'misogynist' and suggesting a lack of independent thought . . . but in my defense, I'd argue that many of our detractors consider those very positive attributes . . . and I understand the judges only shaved off half point for those . . . so we're okay there.)

Now, as to how we're doing in this competition, well, on LW we're kickin' ass. I understand there is a better team made up entirely of Canadians and New Zealanders, who are so polite and gracious to everyone, even their most ferocious attackers, that point-wise we've got a long ways to go . . . but we are doing pretty well never-the-less. (In that vein, I did try to thank or detractors above, but I just don't think I pulled it off as well as one of the ZeaCandians could have. I'll keep practicing.)

Swingerjoe . . . sorry about misspelling 'singerjoe' in earlier title . . . do you sing, by any chance?

Again, you don't address my points. You talk a lot, but say nothing. I suppose that explains this story. Oh, and I was wondering when you would bring up the "you haven't written anything" argument, like that makes anything I said less true. You even used the "this is a porn site" thing! Hm, I wonder what the published authors around here would think about that excuse? Funny that I'm not expected to turn off my brain and accept bullshit from other authors. They can write something that's entertaining and fun, but still makes sense. Even the most outlandish stuff from StangStar06 still makes sense within the context of the story. Guy turns into Ghost Rider to hunt down escaped demons for the Devil? Well, it's already established that the story takes place in a universe where the supernatural and mythological are real, so sign me up for the ride. Why should you get a pass for putting out pointless, thoughtless shit writing? Step it up, bruh.

When will you stop deflecting and admit that your writing here was shit? You know the first step to fixing your problems is admitting that you have them. I mean, by doing your best not to address it, you're admitting it just fine, but still.

You say your goal was to show that there's a way to put a different spin on old ideas, but this story undermines that goal. Any hack can write an "alternate ending" that completely disregards everything that happened before said ending. A ten year old could do that. In fact, I've got a nephew who wrote an "alternate ending" to Jurassic Park for his English class years ago. He was ten at the time, and as expected from a child, it didn't make sense. Suddenly there were two T. rexes, twenty Velociraptors, and Robert Muldoon somehow survived getting his face eaten off and got his hands on a minigun. No explanation for any of that. Just like there's no explanation for anything in this shitfest of a story. No explanation for Vile Vicki, no explanation for Sanctimonious Sharon, no explanation for Bumbling Bob, and no explanation for LGBT Luke. And no explanation for where Sharon's self-incriminating emails went.

If your goal was to show you can write with all the coherence of a ten year old, congrats, mission accomplished. Here's your cookie, don't eat it before lunch or you'll ruin your appetite.

Nah, I don't have you confused with anyone. Just because you're not whining outright, doesn't mean you're not whining. Instead of actually addressing any of the valid points brought up by anyone, anonymous or otherwise, all you do is talk about how everyone needs to lighten up. You're like a bad comedian, acting like all the people booing you just don't have a sense of humor. But the other guys manage to make them laugh, so what's the deal? Maybe you're not funny? Just throwing it out there. Also, I see you haven't been paying attention, bruh. I said I gave this TWO stars. Not one, TWO. No uno, DOS. Zwei. Deux. TWO. 2. The number that comes AFTER one. Say it with me...Two. Understand? Excellent.

Meet The Spartans wasn't meant to be taken seriously, either. Still regarded as one of the shittiest movies of all time. You keep saying "don't take it seriously", but why not? What makes so special that you think you should be immune from VALID criticism? As I said before, other authors manage to make stories that are fun, without being stupid. Even FTDS at his most satirical at least keeps the source material as it was. He doesn't retcon and he doesn't ignore anything inconvenient. Even when everything else goes off the rails, he keeps the events of the past the same. So again, why should you get special treatment, when others have been doing what you've done for a long time, and have been doing it a whole lot better? I'm not looking for Hemingway, bruh. I've got some movies on my favorites list that critics hate, and I've got some stories on my favorites list that a lot of people would drop after the first page. I know how to appreciate things for what they are. But when you fail spectacularly at one of the fundamental rules of storytelling, having a story that makes sense, don't expect me to cut you some slack just because it wasn't a serious effort on your part. Just like I don't cut adults slack for typing like special needs children just because this is the internet and "no one cares about grammar on the internet". If you type like a moron, I'm going to call you a moron. If you write a shit story, I'm going to call it a shit story. Ya' dig?

You can call me angry all you want, even if I was it wouldn't matter. Emotion has no bearing on the facts, bruh. And the facts are that your "alternate ending" is a brain-dead poster child for shit writing. It's objectively bad. Show this to any legit writer and they'd laugh at it and you. And you'd just shrug and say "Lighten up", because that's your only "defense". You're like a parrot. Should I have given you a cracker instead of a cookie?

Ah, and you even went to the "I don't care" defense. Damn, I think the only thing you haven't done yet is invoke Godwin's Law! Word to the wise, bruh: if you feel the need to say you don't care, you're telling everyone that you really do. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be here. You never would've engaged me in conversation. Don't front, bruh, you care plenty. You care about this more than you did the story itself; you're certainly putting more effort into it.

You're not paying attention again, bruh. I didn't call you a shit writer; I said this story is an example of shit writing. I already said I don't read your stories. Your themes do not interest me, and your name alone is enough to make me steer clear of you. I love revenge tales, which is why I love movies like Taken, I Spit On Your Grave and Last House on the Left. You don't do that, and I'm not one of those guys who actively looks for shit I don't like just so I can hate on it. I took a chance on this, and look where it got me. I don't know enough about your stories to call you a shit writer. But it's plainly obvious that what you did here was shit writing. You're slippin', bruh. Need to read more carefully.

Yeah, it would be fun to watch you flounder and stumble, grasping at straws and talking more about me than the story because you don't have anything of merit to say. Maybe I'll get on that. Tell you what, if/when I do get around to it, I'll personally let you know when it's out. And no, I'm not mocking you right now. Real talk, bruh.

Also, how dare you say I'm not a writer? Look at this comment! Fuckin' essay over here, bruh!

Since we seem to be addressing the same random idiot instead of a few people, this is more of a foxhunt than a game. Only this time we are hunting an incredibly stupid fox and we're armed with AK's. It really isn't fair.

Poor fox...

She was acting in a way, in public, with men she was not married to, which would be embarrassing to her husband and to herself. And their daughter, too. Children can be very cruel.

So an interesting take on this story, but the wife still has some explaining to do.

After all, Luke was gay. What about the next chap with a vial filled with a date rape drug?

Swingerjoe frequently criticizes it when a BTB writer makes a wife a stupid helpless pell, to be beaten firmly by some pseudo Alpha male. To do so, the author frequently needs to make the woman too stupid for words.

AND...here, swingerjoe engaged in the same nonsense. If you write a continuation of a story, you need to write a WHOLE continuation of the story, not just the elements which let you 'make the wife right'.

If you cut out the parts you don't like, it is not a story so much as a hatchet job.

Now, it was a nicely written hatchet job...but a hatchet job none the less.

@Anonymous "Texts'

Sorry but no cigar. Hubby met wife on Wednesday and asked her. AFTER he had met Vickie who told him that Girls Night Out was cancelled that Thursday. THEN she lied to her husband on direct questioning.

Additionally, her texts told a truth that the author plainly revealed; The husband DID care about her hanging around Luke so much. That she was 'sending the wrong vibe'

Now, yes, some of the texts COULD be painted as innocuous but not according to the tone of the original story.

are better than the story!!!

This is bullshit!!

That was so much fun to read. Loved where you ended it but sorry to read some of the comments. People with limited intellect and imagination forget that a story line belongs o an author. Well done - a very good foil to the original. In fact, in my mind it was better.

Asinine alt ending to an excellent story. Fuck up your own stories, leave other people's alone! Would have been a 1* if available.

Joe when you write a sequel please don't retcon and twist things to suit your tastes and likes that doesn't work now does it since it defeats the purpose of writing a sequel, nor is it fair to the source material and it makes you look like a huge hypocrite when you go around accusing others of doing the same thing.

I am only stopping in here to point out a few things.

1. I offered to let others give their version of the conclusion and Joe respectfully asked my permission. All conversations between Joe and I have been respectful.

2. (this is admittedly a minor quibble) Joe's conclusion is considered an alternate ending, not a rewrite. The story as far as I am concerned is complete with my conclusion.

3. I think the IDEA of the tables getting turned on Bob is great. It is obviously not where I would have taken the story but that is why I wanted others to take a stab.

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to continue writing. I am working on a sci-fi fantasy story I hope to have up in a couple weeks then I am going to try my hand at a group sex story Hopefully my stuff will only improve. - Ahaz

because u can't give a - number, hate it when an author rewrites history for some twisted motive, to shock I suppose. Note to self, please don't read swingerjoe's stories ever again. TK

Ahaz - Great story to begin with . . . and loving the comments on the alt ending.

Jav - Damn!! The 'random idiot' and 'stupid fox' comments just cost us 10 points (the ZeaCandians are politely expressing sympathies while no doubt inwardly celebrating). Part of the problem is that at least 2 of the judges are actual foxes.

It's alright, we get it you're butt hurt that not everyone agrees with you and that some of us enjoy stories that aren't about violent revenge. It's fine, we get it.

Keep ranting, and the rest of us will keep laughing at you and your anon friends behind your backs. Just like in sure everyone does to someone so worked up and miserable as you.

He actually made some valid points about the direction of this story in relation to the first chapter. I don't agree with him that this is shit writing, but he did hit some other good points that even Joe can't dispute.

I have to give props to Joe though. This story itself was a failure (IMHO) but the response that it stirred was a rousing success. There are only a few times that I have seen a crowd this split on a story. And when it brings out strong commenters like FD45, even if he is against your story, you know that have hit on something. I did miss the Unoriginalist's insightful views on this one. In my opinion, he, FD45, and Lordslamdawgg are the critics to please. Their comments always hit the nail on the head with no bias. Even if I disagree with them, which rarely happens, I can always see where they are coming from. They know good writing when they see it, and always have a reason for why they DON'T like your story.

So congrats Joe. You are infamous right now, but I don't think that really bothers you. This story brought the wolves out of the forest, and it was enjoyable. Not bad for an hour's worth of work, huh?

For all we know the men in the bar may be bi. sexual. they like panties.

But lex, didn't you see what the anons said? You, Javmor and I are all on the same team here. We have to stick together! :P

And isn't it you who has told me that I lose any valid points I make by virtue of pissinf people off? I'd argue hewhowriteslongcomments suffers the same problem here by constantly attacking Joe in his rants.

You say "In my opinion, he (The Unoriginalist), FD45, and Lordslamdawgg are the critics to please. Their comments always hit the nail on the head with no bias.

No commentator in my book is "the critic to please". Authors should please themselves first, and readers of similar persuasion second. And I don't believe that any of the three you mention could be described as "with no bias".

I agree, however, that they are among the more thoughtful members of the commentatiat. But there are many more who are equally thoughtful. And even some of the maddies occasionally produce some useful insights.

The commentary for the original 0-50-100 story, and especially the commentary on Swingerjoe's alternative, has been absolutely wonderful. It's worth writing a story just to bring comments like these out into the public domain. The only sad thing about it is the anonymice who make repeated comments and cannot be easily responded to in the way that it's possible to have a conversation with a named person as I can address this to you as Lex1.

L

Ps: A plea the the anonymice. Please register a name. It's easy to do, it doesn't destroy your anonymity, and it makes conversations so much more interesting.

LOL. We are on teams, aren't we? Well, I've never played well with others.

I didn't say that you lose valid points for pissing people off. I said that your arguments get lost when you don't even read the story that you are commenting on and go straight for the random people. The points that you made in previous stories had nothing to do with THAT story in particular, just general peeves. You were making the same comments in multiple stories. In fact, you were copying your comments and pasting them throughout different stories. That is when your valid points get lost and the well ran dry.

HeWhoGoesThere confronted Joe about this story. In fact, he even made a comment to the affect of saying that he didn't even read Joe's other stories, so he didn't really know if Joe was a shit writer or not. He said that for this story in particular, Joe wrote a shitty story.

Those were my points.

I do agree with you. No one person should be "the critic to please". The words that I typed and the meaning that I had for them are out of sync.

In my opinion, they do provide insight to the actual story that they are reading, and don't slam an author simply because the story is of a certain type. If they like a story, they have valid reasons why they do. This also goes for if they don't like it.

So perhaps "critic to please" was a bit overkill. They are still men (or women, let's not be presumptuous). I simply meant that their critiques actually tell me what is in the story before I read it, and in my opinion often tell a writer of where he/she could have done better. Comments like, "So sick of this cucky shit flooding my site" does nothing for a writer trying to get better. But actually analyzing the intent of the author, and trying to determine whether or not he/she accomplished that intent (Unoriginalist's words) is spades above what others do.

Now, I am not an author, so I am speculating at whether or not this is helpful. But you are an author Lue (I think you are the author and Don is the editor, or is it vice versa?) so you can tell me if their comments actually help.

Do I really need to say more?

Spamming grammatically correct ad hominems doesn't make you a writer.

Now, really impress us (and quiet all doubters) by writing an equally long (and even more convincing) DEFENSE of swingerjoe's ending. Point out how it actually is an alternate ending (as the original author him/herself has asserted), not a rewriting. Carefully take apart the arguments you've used so far. This should impress almost everyone, and the thing is, I believe you can do it, if you have the balls/ovaries to honestly argue another viewpoint. I really want to see what you come up with.

this was horrendously vapid and did not stay true to pt 1

Excellent spin, totally plausible. I applaud your writing skill and sense of getting it right. Great job. xoxoxoxoAnnette

I can only speak from personal experience, but I find that there are helpful comments about story structure, unhelpful personal comments about the author, and comments about the characters or the situation which reflect the viewpoint of the person making the comment rather than the author. (These last ones are interesting in that they can lead to great conversations in the comments, but they aren't going to change the story.)

I wrote a five-episode story with a couple of days between submissions. That allowed me to do some quick re-writes on the way through resulting from comments to earlier chapters. But it didn't change what my characters were going to do.

It seems to me that many commentators fail to realise that the characters in a story belong to the author. The author will decide what they are going to do, not those making the comments. Some of the predictions made in commentaries are hilarious -- characters will divorce, die of some dreadful disease, or whatever.

I have said in a response to a comment on one of my stories "if you don't like what my characters are doing, write your own story". In today's new stories, there are two examples of people doing that. (This story and the one about the bridge.) And I thought they were both good examples of different viewpoints and they both attracted wide commentary.

L

This alternate story ending ignores alot of the original including the texts and the lies she told him. You need to get permission to do a retroactive first part to fit with this one. now I'm gonna go read the real ending. :-)

That was a great alt ending!

10 stars**********.

I get tired of commenters who tell me what happened in MY stories, whether it is social connections which did not exist, or a woman who actually KNEW her husband cheated and didn't care...despite the AUTHOR telling them they are incorrect.

The AUTHOR owns the story and the characters. He knows what they really did.

And Ahazura wrote that the wife character was on the verge of adultery, in a sexy dress and acting like a slut with 'the office Romeo' Luke. (I am not looking at the second part)

So...is swingerjoe a commenter or an author? Instead, he is like a big brother who borrows a Barbie and Ken doll from his little sister...and then proceeds to have them start fucking on the Barbie DreamHhouse bed saying horrid profanities.

The sister is very likely to grab her toys back and say 'you are doing it wrong!'

And for 'her dolls' she is correct. But...we do not actually KNOW what the author thinks of what swingerjoe did, nor do we know what deal they made. If Ahazura said 'do what you want' than swingerjoe is well within his rights to write whatever the hell he wants, whether he is close to the source material or not.

We need to admit this as commenters.

But we can also say that it is not a very accurate continuation of the ORIGINAL STORY. As a swingerjoe story, it rocks. As a Ahazura story, it lacks quite a bit.

But we don't need to insult the author. Just point out the inconsistencies and say 'it doesn't work for me'.

I presume (hope) you were referring to my comment in response to Lex1's request for an author's viewpoint, FD45.

As you say, "The AUTHOR owns the story and the characters. He or she knows what they really did." Comments that say the characters MUSTN'T do what the author said they are doing are simply musturbating.

Swingerjoe changed from a commentator to an author when he re-wrote Ahazura's story's ending. Unlike your example of the brother who takes his sister's Barbie and Ken, he did request Ahazura's permission to borrow the characters, so it was probably OK for him to have them doing things their original owner may not have wanted them to do.

But I would like to see more authors like you, FD45, expressing their dismay at the way those making comments think that they know more about the author's characters and their motivations than their owner does.

L

..."I missed the memo that said that I wasn't allowed to like a story that was unpopular. My bad. I guess that means I'm a swinger. Or a cuck"

No but it does mean you one obtuse asshole.

First --as many other eaders pointed out the asshole known as swingerjoe did not simply write an alternate ending-- he simply created a whole new story lied about key facts and several original conversations in the original story.

You may not agree with those criticisms but they are accurate and legit.

Second - the fact that you hold the same opinion as the professional asshole frontlinecaster is a real eye opener

The flip here is a bit of a flop because it doesn't fit the original story very well:

- Zero sign of Vicki wanting Bob in the 1st story.

- Vicki's husband, Ron, "thought she hung the moon and the feeling was reciprocated."

- Vicki's offer to get her husband Ron the marriage counselor involved.

- Luke's history of sexually harassing women at work and being a known pussy hound

- Sharon and Bob's "where did that come from / Rock the World sex " on the night of dirty dancing, hot kissing and pantie giving.

- Sharon goes from "I can't lose Bob over this" to her own Zero-Fifty-One hundred ultimatum.

Even if you ignore the above, Bob had lunch ONCE at the urgent request of one of Sharon's friends because she wanted to talk about his wife Sharon. Sharon partied for MONTHS culminating in hot dancing, hot kissing, pantie giving (in public) and a little black dress dinner/hotel meet that she lied to her husband about. If Sharon can't grasp where Bob's head was at and why, then I say Bob needs a better and more understanding wife.

2 star effort.

Bob sits tamely at home while Sharon pays off "Luke" (an out of work actor), parties hearty with "Sam" (the real Luke), after which Luke fucks her ass off.

A lot of commenters here are taking him to task about how he does not fit the narrative of 'office Romeo', some guy hitting on her, long lunches, and panties being shared.

HOWEVER, swingerjoe does this somewhat credibly by making Vickie a VERY unreliable narrator.

Almost everything we know about what Sharon is doing with Luke come ONLY from Vickie. If Vickie is a liar, than we cannot believe anything she said.

So we don't know if he's an office Romeo. We don't know if Luke has been putting on a full court press. We don't know how much they have been forming an emotional bond.

EXCEPT...yeah. The text messages. The wife admits to going overboard and doing lunches HERSELF. The texts in the first story are no where near as damning as the texts in the second one.

But here is where I criticize the character created (or distorted, if you prefer) by swingerjoe.

A woman who acknowledges her culpability of 'behaving like a slut' and who says 'my husband deserves better' is coming of as pretty G-D Damn high and mighty with her husband.

How horrible a person she is if she cares about 'work' and 'her friends' being pissed or getting the wrong idea...but when her husband gets that self same idea which SHE CREATED BY HER ACTIONS, HE is the problem. Not her actions Not her 'vibe'. SHE created this issue...and blames her husband for being hurt. Well fuck her!

She isn't a cheater in this story. She is not a person I would want to be married to, however. A strong and INTELLIGENT woman would point out the truth, apologize to her husband and self correct.

No...she doesn't do any of that. So she is as horrid and self important as any of the male characters that SJ decries so often.

The real ending is way better tho. It fits with the first part while yours doesn't dude. If you rewrite pt. 1 to fit with this one it will probably work. otherwise no dice. Good luck! :-)

Simply awful and you know it because you don't allow us to rate you 'alternate ending'.

This follow-up simply does not fit the first part. This would definitely be a ZERO star

So, what you're saying is that if I don't want to be obtuse then I should like the same story as everyone else? Really Harry?

Another point, front line and I aren't the only ones who liked this story. Check the comments. But of course, they are obtuse too because they disagree with what you feel is valid. Wow Harry.

I never though of you as "one of the crowd". You have often trashed stories that the majority has liked. Does that make you obtuse, or an individual?

I share Swingerjoe's belief that there are always two sides to every story. He skewers many of the flaws of the BTB stories with his brilliant alternate ending. Appearances are not always as they seem, rarely is the man blameless in these scenarios, and anybody who is so eager to end a marriage in these situations was probably never committed to it to begin with. Great job, Joe!

That this really changed the setup of the story to twist it beyond the breaking point.

I do want to point out that most of the information about Luke's character that Bob had did come from Vicki. She could have lied about Luke's work behavior.

So if her friend, who is married to a marriage counselor, who was close enough to them that Bob figured that she might want to help with birthday planning and who took her into her home to keep her safe after getting drunk, did want to make things look worse then they were, she could have.

And I guess is is possible that Bob, who felt uncomfortable about meeting Vicki alone on Tuesday, might have sent her flirty texts and set up a dinner meeting with her on Thursday while agonizing over his wife's seeming betrayal. And Vicki might have texted this to Sharon before she had the chance to get them seperated, so that she could dump the husband that she seemed to think "hung the moon".

And Luke migt have invited his lover along to the dinner where he planned to talk to Sharon privately while she thought it would just be a 'couple of friends'. He might have set things up so that all three could share a room if they all got drunk. And maybe there was some reason invite his lover while they did not bother to invite Bob.

But even ignoring the information that came from Vicki and assign the best possible spin on all the other inconsistencies, that still does not explain the many lies and humiliating behavior on Sharon's part.

Her texts showed that she realized how it would look if Bob found out and that was BEFORE she arranged to meet Luke alone at a Hotel while lying to Bob about it. Sam was not the only person in the bar with them. If one of Bob's friends or coworkers saw the scene with the dancing and panties and passed it along, how would she expect him to interpret her private meeting at a hotel? For that matter, how does she think her workmates feel about Bob now that they know how she acted in that video.

So even if the setup WAS exactly like this story proposes, Sharon has to have completely forgotten how bad she KNEW this looked. She feared losing Bob over the previous behavior and now she adds a secret rendezvous! Why on Earth would she get all high and mighty now? She was caught lying and NOT by omission about meeting a man she gave her panties to alone at a hotel! She knew exactly what it looked like WITHOUT that hotel meeting since she said as much in the texts and should have known that this had to have hurt her man by making him doubt and suffer even if nothing had or was going to happen. Or she lacks any empathy at all.

Really, this just stretched the original beyond recognition. It might have been a good story if it had provided its own setup. Some of the most glaring defects could have been made more ambiguous. But instead, it tried too hard to make a square peg fit a round hole and ended up splintered.

Don't have anymore inclination to finish others stories. You suck at it. It's bad enough your boring and stale stories take up space here, now you add more of the same.

This may sound harsh, but that's how I feel. So sue me.

Then I read your alternate. Yours fails to account for much that was laid out in the first installment as fact. You succeeded in giving this story new colour but you failed when you took liberties and ignored what the writer put forth in the original. It seems as though you skimmed through the first story to pick and choose which facts you would use. Then you attempted to pass the rest off as conjecture and misunderstanding in your alternative. If you had taken everything in the first installment into account this would not have happened. I understand that you would not have been able to write this ending if you accounted for everything though.

Unfortunately it disconnects readers who experienced the original and remember it. The plot holes that you left in this rendition are staggering.

When I read the end of this story I couldn't help but remember a term that my sister uses from time to time. She is a feminist but she has no respect for the feminazi type who takes it to the extreme that you have here.

Your helping of common sense for the day

I preferred the original story to the rewrite. Ahazura keep the the good work.

This is an alternate ending, not a rewrite. Even the original author, Ahazura, said, "Joe's conclusion is considered an alternate ending, not a rewrite.".

I know many of you are desperate to prove to yourselves that somehow it betrays the original, but it doesn't. The evidence you offer almost all stems from Vicki, who in the alternate ending has an ulterior motive . . . so all of that evidence is meaningless.

You are upset at the way the alternate ending turned out, but obviously it was very, very good, and gut-wrenching to some, or you wouldn't see the outpouring of anger and denial evident here. Each time you try and force the story to fit your evidence, or resort to name calling, what you are subconsciously (or maybe even consciously) actually saying is, "Very creative writing Joe . . . it really stuck a nerve . . . it got to me on a gut level.".

Your criticisms, good or bad, or supposedly evidence-laden, are all further tribute to what an impact this alternate ending had on you.

So well-done swingerjoe . . . even the meanest stuff on here is further proof of what a good job you did.

To those of you who can't stand this ending, and are desperately trying to prove it can't happen . . . Get a grip. Relax. It's not real. Good news, it didn't happen. It's just a really fun, evocative alternate ending to a really fun story.

Thanks again, Ahazura and swingerjoe.

Don't read any of this guys stories,swinging is not my forte, but curiosity got the better of me, wondering why so many comments. Even the best stories on this site don't warrant that many comments in a short time. Skimmed through them.

Now I understand. My take is, the story itself sucked but warranted enough controversy to have many leave an opinion. Did get a chuckle how some of the anons really got some of the folks riled up. They couldn't stop talking about it. A good many comments were just bashing each other, having really nothing to do with the original or this story.

Now I see why loving wives is so popular. It's the battle of "erotica", with two factions plotting against each other looking for a weak spot to attack and destroy. LMAO You guys are a riot. A fucking "porn" site of all places.

@c24j

Did you read part 1 at all? You must have skipped or ignored the texts when Sharon was worried about how it would look to Bob. You know when she said she "couldn't lose him over this."

What about the lies that Sharon told Bob? I guess that lies are okay in your world cuz that's what it sounds like. Its all about trust man. lies kinda kill trust you know.

This ending is in a whole other universe tho.

I gave joe the solution if he wants to fix this. He should write his own part 1 to fit with this ending. It doesn't fit with the original. :-)

Everyone that claims Sharon wasn't lyin check this from part 1

"So what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night? Should I stop by after work and make sure you all are good to drive home?" he asked with what he hoped was a light tone.

"OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work." she looked down at her orange chicken as she said this.

She straight out lied to him.

Lates peoples! :-)

Anonymous, you say "Now I see why loving wives is so popular. . . . . You guys are a riot."

Just let us have our little riot in the LW space in peace -- no criticism from outside thank you. We have to get our entertainment somewhere.

Join in. There are some quite intelligent discussions brought about by the LW stories. As you say, it is not necessarily the better stories that elicit the maximum number of comments. It is the ones that raise controversial topics that get the conversations going.

Anonymous, register a name so that you can join the conversations that interest you. Separate yourself from all the other bland anonymice. Demonstrate an intellectual capacity to contribute.

L

When Sharon said that, she intended to meet Luke and his boyfriend at the Red Horse, but then they later changed their plans via text.

At least, we can assume that, given the events that took place in the alternate ending.

See, the problem is that so many people assume that Part One is the Holy Grail, and every word of it -- as told from Bob's viewpoint -- is true. But maybe, just maybe, this alternate ending is actually the truth, and Bob was wildly off base.

...And, I assume, that was the entire point of the alternate ending in the first place.

That conversation happened on Wednesday but when he found the texts on her phone about the hotel they were from Monday. She straight out lied to him.

Laterz peepz!!! :-)

From this ending

"But you lied to me! You told me you were going to girl's night out tonight!"

"Umm, no I didn't," she said. "I never said that. You just assumed that."

That was after this in Ahaz's first part

"So what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night? Should I stop by after work and make sure you all are good to drive home?" he asked with what he hoped was a light tone.

"OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work." she looked down at her orange chicken as she said this.

joe man you need to fix this story of yours. Sharon lied to him and had no right to get her back up. Bob was still in the right and he[you] shoulda remembered that. You shoulda read all of the original before you wrote this. sorry but you can't make this work unless you write an alternate beginning. Again good luck! :-)

I'm out peepz!

Lots of comments made about what was changed etc. I do not mind an attempt at an alternate ending. Or even a different story altogether. The author claimed an alternate ending. This was not. He changed part of the plot and evidence leading to the conclusions drawn. That is ok if it was stated only the characters were used with plot changes. Felt wrong the way handled. Really bastardized the originally.

Did you read Ahazura's comment?? Probably the only way for you to see this option (and it may not be possible for you to do this), is to read the original as if you are an innocent wife and Bob's a bit crazy.

Look, the original author sees it as a valid alternate ending, swingerjoe does, several others and I do. We're at the point where we KNOW it's valid. You don't want to see that, and I suspect you are trying to convince yourself really . . . not us. That's fine. Believe what you will. (Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as they say.)

Take heart though, it is certainly not inline with the most likely scenario from the author. But it was intentionally left open to interpretation, and others were invited to try different endings. It wouldn't be much fun if we ended up with several different writers all coming to the same conclusion . . . the one YOU want. I look forward to other, different endings. (We've already had a pretty good alternate to the alternate ending in the comments by an Anony. Check that out if you haven't seen it yet. I suspect it's a bit more your cup of tea.)

Also Daniel, take a look at your own example, carefully. He makes an assumption, as she said.

Shaman, even the original author says it's an alternate, not a rewrite . . . look back in the comments.

Your assuming alot c24j. I have no problem with an ending that fits an original!!! What I have a problem with is that too much got changed or ignored from the first part when it came to writing this one tho.

That's why I would read an alternate beginning that fits with this one. I'd enjoy that better than reading the first part and then reading this one before I read the real ending [my fault for clicking on it instead of the real ending to start with] I read the real ending and it fits better than this one cuz of what happened in the first part v what happened in this alternate universe.

I'm not kidding about reading a new alt beginning to this story that fits with this ending! Plz write one joe! :-)

Daniel32 is correct in his analysis of the story itself. Bob did not assume anything in his conversation with Sharon on Wednesday. He asked Sharon the question regarding Thursday night in order to test her veracity. He gave her a chance to be honest and yet she compounded her lies of omission with a direct lie as to her planned whereabouts. Sharon's behaviour in this ending was unfounded as she knew that she had lied to him which caused his distrust in her. I also prefer the original ending where she acknowledges her mistakes and they work together to save their marriage.

I must disagree with Daniel when I say that I have no wish to read any alternate first chapters to this story. I have enjoyed swingerjoe's stories in the past but the writing in this story was far below his usual par.

Your helping of common sense for the day

Daniel, this is getting tiresome. I get that you are incapable of looking at part 1 from the viewpoint of an innocent woman with a crazy jealous husband. You can't do it, so part 1 will never match swingerjoe's part 2 in your mind. That's your perspective. You can't see that she seems to gloss over some stuff or even be a bit misleading sometimes, obviously KNOWING that he'd react negatively, and that he sees things from a viewpoint which can't be trusted, and that Vicki's words can't be trusted. I get what you see as the Red Horse/TGIF inconsistency (and perhaps others) which you insist is so big it means that swingerjoes part 2 doesn't match part 1. I don't think you get that we disagree, and we're dealing with it from a perspective you are unable to see or empathize with.

You seem insist that your viewpoint of what's going on in the original outweighs the original author and swingerjoe and I and several others see when we read part 1 and combine it with swingerjoe's part 2. It should be obvious to you that we have a perspective that you don't and that our perspective works for us when reading EITHER part 2. You seem to be insisting that what YOU think is an inconsistency means there can be only one perspective . . . yours. Go on believing that if it makes you happy, but it's not real life my friend. There are always multiple perspectives. Again paraphrasing Fitzgerald, your conviction has become a cave in which you hide (and from which you may see no perspective but your own) . . . those of us trying to retain some of our youthfulness try to have our convictions be hills from which we can view many perspectives. I think you'll have more fun if you climb out of the cave and join us . . . but it's up to you.

Ahazura's part 1 was really good, as was his part 2, as was swingerjoe's part 2. Both part 2's are very different but valid endings to the same part 1 (in the perspective of many of us . . . just not in yours and many others who have narrowed their viewpoints on part 1).

Further, without swingerjoe's part 2, we wouldn't have Anony's clever alternate, which is also really fun. So by finding swingerjoe's option invalid, you lose out on the fun of Anony's. All of the writings (Part1, Part2, AltPart2, and AltPart2a) are creative, decent storytelling, and enjoyable (in my perspective). I'm truly sorry that you and several others seem unable to appreciate all this. And, I really hope all these comments (and unnecessary controversies) don't prevent others from coming up with further alternate takes on part 1. I'd love to see some others !!!

@c24j

Maybe if you weren't such an insulting and condescending ass I might be tempted to listen to and consider your point of view. "come out of the cave"? really? Your point of view doesn't make you right, and it by no means makes me a "caveman" because my point of view is different than yours. How about we agree to disagree since you cant keep it civil.

Peace out peeplez! :-)

I get that a hell of a lot. Frankly, the misinformation spouted in 'The Forgotten Woman' angered me, not that I miswrote the story, but that folks I corrected in their misapprehensions continued to insist that I, the AUTHOR, got it wrong.

Well...

I thought I granted that swingerjoe DID get permission, though whether Azahura regrets it now is between the two of them.

However, the great majority of critics of this story are correctly pointing out that swingerjoe is treating the original material shabbily AND that the logic of the situation re the actions of the wife makes the character of the wife into a real bitch.

To wit: if I found my wife sucking on the face of some guy I did not know, my anger is well deserved If I find out later that said man is actually her brother or some gay dude does not change the fact that she was publically sucking on the face of some guy and acting in a way inconsistent with a loyal wife and in a humiliating fashion for the husband.

So jumping all over the husband is inconsistent, illogical AND makes the character unlikeable. Because the HUSBAND is correct. There is no 'but I get to dry hump gay guys and suck on their faces' in the 'forsaking all others' vows, no matter how Sharon wants this to be true.

This ignores the texts.

I am not disagreeing with HOW swingerjoe wrote the characters. I am saying he did a shitty job in extrapolating from the original story. Which is about quality of writing.

I'm actually in full on 100% agreement with FD45 on this one. That doesn't happen very often... as in just this side of never. lol

I avoided this "Alternate Ending" for a while, but curiosity finally got the better of me. I sometimes like new takes on other tales.

As for this tale itself, if I hadn't read the original by Ahazura, this one would've made much more sense, as strange as that might sound. I actually thought that flipping the roles would've been pretty clever, but the fact that Joe almost totally ignored the previously established dynamic, evidence, and feelings involved with both Hubby and Wifey, ruined it for me. It was just sloppy storytelling, IMO.

I don't usually criticize Joe's writing ability. Just because I don't share his views, doesn't mean I don't respect writing talent. Hell, I even think that some of his swinging tales are well done for what they are. This one just wasn't very good, though.

I don't care if they are fags. What she did is lying, cheating, and disrespecting her husband. Anyone who says different is a cucky wimp.

When a writer issue an alt. ending you would think that the follow up story would be true to the first story just changing the ending. First, Bob went very careful through the evidence that his wife was acting inappropriate to their marriage. He was wary about the meeting with Vicki without his wife being present. Vicki was his wife's friend and she asked him to call either her or her husband about the situation (hardly words enticing an affair). Even if you ignore the evidence of her bad judgement (e.g., texts, lying about the dinner with Luke versus being out with the girls, her agreement about the project, her reactions to be caught) I agree with other comments that her behavior was inappropriate. What about getting so drunk your friends have to take you home? If you wanted to make another version which switched roles by all means do so but you distorted the original story. BTW: Where is the marriage counseling that this couple so desperately needs in her list of three choices or should Bob just grovel for years because he reached a conclusion anyone would reach given the evidence?

Oh dear Daniel. I never said I was right, I said I had a different perspective . . . one that I don't think you can appreciate. Do you disagree with that? I also never called you any names. As to being condescending, I just think you're missing out, but if that's what you want, okay. I'm really truly sorry you can't enjoy these variations, and I want to encourage others to experiment with other variations. Do what makes you happy. I'm sorry to have upset you.

Daniel, I was referring to F. Scott Fitzgerald's quote - "People over forty can seldom be permanently convinced of anything. At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are caves in which we hide."

It has nothing to do with being a caveman, to me it's more about as we get older, letting our convictions completely blind us to the spice of life . . . VARIETY, as opposed to using them as a base to enjoy that variety. I'm sorry I didn't explain it more clearly. Good luck with whatever perspective(s) you choose!! Take care.

The comments to the Swingerjoe hi-jacking of the story are better than the story. I don't know if that's true. I didn't read this story.

I definitely am enjoying the commentary. Awesome baby!

Even a hi-jacking of swingerjoe's heist of Ahazura. By one-half of FTDS. He chooses one. Hilarious!

I think I'll skip this story. Just keep reading the comments. I did read Ahazura and can follow the references.

This is some really good stuff,lol.

AMerryman

You recently commented to me in the other One Fifty or One Hundred alternative by Stormbreyer, but I decided to answer here where you might see it easier.

1) If you don't like my comment, well, sometimes even Homer Nods

2) Check your Lit email account. I sent you something

3) You are incorrect. Here is the core of your comment:

**

Your belief seemingly stems from the fact that, in my story, Sharon didn't protest when Bob called her on her behavior and offered his ultimatum. You believe she should have told him at that point that Luke was gay and that it was all a big misunderstanding instead of taking him to see Luke and show him the "big reveal" in person.

**

Absolutely incorrect.

it is not that she should have just talked to him. I understand dramatic necessity. It is this:

1) SHE lied to Bob. Directly.

2) SHE has been getting emotionally involved with another man. Gay or not, her actions according to the texts SHE sent (and you ignored in your writing) indicated she KNEW she was sending very bad messages to her comrades and friends.

3) She was blatantly rubbing her cunt against another man, giving him deep soulful kisses and giving him her panties PUBLICALLY.

So...say a friend of Bob and Sharon were at the bar. What are they to think? They will think she is a loose morale slut acting in ways a wife should not.

You seem to think the 'hey, he's GAY' thing glosses over all of that. It does not.

She behaved poorly. And when called on behaving poorly, even if she did not cheat, did she show the slightest bit of remorse, regret or apology?

No. She attacked her husband.

O...kay. The things she did were NOT okay. I don't care if she did it with a gay man. So her attitude is quite appalling.

Forgot something.

As to the selfish part: in your story, the only opinion that Sharon cared about was her own. She did not care how her friends would see her actions. She did not care how strangers would see her actions. Nor did she care how BOB would see her actions.

So yes, I stand by selfish.

I haven't received your email, so I'll respond here. To your points:

1. It's not that I didn't "like" your comment; I simply disagreed with it.

2. Bob asked Sharon on Wednesday, "So, what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night?" Sharon responds, "OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work."

So, Sharon was planning to meet Luke and Sam at the Red Horse. Maybe she forgot the venue was changed to TGIF. Maybe she was in the middle of something, was distracted by it, and didn't think it mattered as Bob was just making small talk. That's possible, right? If I had included that throwaway line in my story, then her character wouldn't have lied. My goal with this alternate ending was to offer a light-hearted spin on a tired old story line. I really didn't expect that readers would comb through every word of the original story like forensic scientists at a murder scene. Clearly, I needed to cover my tracks better than I did to satisfy the CSI's of Lit, but that really wasn't my goal, regardless.

3. As far as "rubbing her cunt" against Luke and giving him a "passionate kiss," remember that this was all according to Vicki -- who was trying to steal Bob away from his wife. Naturally, she would have exaggerated the events of that night. It was probably a peck on the cheek and an innocent dance.

If I were to see a married woman I know dancing at a bar with a guy I don't know, I would think nothing of it, because I see it all the time. Married women are allowed to have fun just like the rest of us. I'd hate to live in a world where women were only allowed to dance with their husbands. What you call "behaving poorly" I call "behaving appropriately."

4. The fact that Luke is gay is absolutely a factor, because there is even less reason for Bob to distrust her, and even less reason to question her actions. There is zero attraction on Luke's part, and this allowed Sharon more freedom to display her "slutty side" without any threat to her marriage or fidelity.

I suppose that different people view life through different lenses, and that is what makes the world a more interesting place. Twenty years ago, you and I probably wore the same lenses, but my prescription has changed since then. Whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion. Regardless, I appreciate your passion and persistence, and always welcome your feedback.

And in trying to be fair, I, for most of my comments DID discount Vickie testimony because of how you portrayed her (I thought it was a cheap shot add on, but...I have added elements to stories too. I just tried to be a bit more sedate in their uses)

That being said, I didn't hate the story and considering how quickly you put it out, I have to give credit for writing coherently and quickly.

As to my email, I did a continuation of YOUR story which I felt squared the circle between the original and your additions in a nice (but not as well written) way.

However, lacking your agreement, I decided not to post it, though I thought I sent a copy to you via the Lit Feedback function for your enjoyment.

.....because she "doubled down" on her disloyal and disrespectful behavior by saying nothing and taking him to the restaurant for a dose of public humiliation....all the while (and perhaps by that mechanism) avoiding having to explain her prior completely inappropriate behavior......at least as I judge from the preceding story.

That he listened to Vicki and did not verify her claims was foolish and overly reactive. That he had reason to do so, was stupid, disloyal, destructive and foolish on wifey's part.

See, that's the kind of crap that happens when one spouse gets careless and foolishly thinks their stepping out of their marital obligations will be OK.

It won't.

A woman dancing with a man other than her husband is not an issue, unless she's fuck-dancing, removing lingerie and otherwise acting like an unmarried wild-child away at college for the first time......or if her hubby is a twisted pervert and has convinced her to become a hotwife. Then, who gives a fuck. Their marriage is a sham and their just two incredibly immature people with no belief in or respect for the institution, throwing their lives away in staged debaucheries.

But if they are a more traditional couple, then......

Cutting loose and having fun?

Shit for brains, go home and ask for a divorce, then, after the dust settles, go out and be as wanton and slutty as you like....hell, fuck every man in the place if you want, for you no longer have any responsibility to anyone else.

But don't think for a minute that it's OK to act irresponsibly and lie to your bound mate and think that it is or should be acceptable to them.

Oh, and when this started up, was she thinking about her children's welfare? I'd bet my brand new GTO they didn't even cross her mind. That would be responsible and adult....something IMO she was absolutely not being.

If she really thought she was on firm footing, why wouldn't she say something about it...even causally and in passing....TO THE MOST IMPORTANT OTHER ADULT IN HER LIFE???

Hmmm....making an effort to communicate with her overworked, but committed husband....well, that would be too much like being a growing up.

So, SJ, this one seemed a little sneering to me. Not up to your usual levels of fineness, IMO.

But thank you for taking the risk....it had its moments.

I'm not to certain as I have not been to each and every C&W bar in these United States, but in those that I have been in... I do not remember any women (or men for that matter) wearing little black dresses to line dance in. While I shure would love to see it I suspect it might be a bit hard to make the moves one needs to make in one of those dresses. Mighty revealing too I would imagine.

From Ahazura's Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred pt. 01

"She came down the stairs wearing her little black dress that she always wore when they would go out on their dates."

I would give your fake name one star but you are afraid of ratings

But chicken shit author doesn't allow voting... Voted 1 because swingerjoe twisted the original plot and characters to fit his narrative on how the (swinging) world should be.

"Umm, excuse me," Sharon interrupted, "but I'm a grown-ass woman. I don't need him to 'let' me go out once in a while and have some fun. Maybe if he weren't so busy all the time, he could have joined us."

Well Bob's a grown man so he can go have "fun" with his hot secretary without Sharon "letting" him or him even telling her. See every one of these fucked up WACC cuck stories can work in the guys favor when genders are reversed. 

"remember that this was all according to Vicki -- who was trying to steal Bob away from his wife." So Vicki married to Ron was a cheating cunt too? I missed that in the original story... And it wasn't all according to Vicki in the original, the pantiless dancing was confirmed by Sharon herself in text messages. And none of it passes the spouse test, except in swingerjoes crazy world. 

See what I mean:  "If I were to see a married woman I know dancing at a bar with a guy I don't know, I would think nothing of it, because I see it all the time. Married women are allowed to have fun just like the rest of us. I'd hate to live in a world where women were only allowed to dance with their husbands. What you call "behaving poorly" I call "behaving appropriately."

In my world my wife and I are not allowed to dance with others without our mutual consent.  And we don't consent. The only way this kind of dirty dancing would be "ok" is if the gender roles were reversed and Sharon had no problem with Bob dirty dancing with his hot, younger, better looking, sexually aggressive, personal assistant, with her handing hubby her panties... In my world dirty dancing is a form of sex. The point is one of intimacy and who one shares it with. Physical as well as emotional.

Sucked

this is an ending that basically ignores so many elements from the original that it can in no way be considered an alternate ending, but rather is a completely different story.

The Anon who wrote the review 'I choose number one' impressed me, he put this ending back on the right track, kudos to him!

they hurt a lot. TK U MLJ LV NV

Agreed.

Not an alternate ending. An alternate story.

The idea that all the slutty behavior was dares from gay men is ridiculous and just thrown in to try to make the very very very very justifiably upset husband look foolish.

minus 3 stars

For the read.

Sorry, SJ, cause I like most of your submissions. Even though this was an interesting twist, Sharon made her husband out to be a fool. If she really loved him that much, she should have given him the benefit of his doubt, and not belittle him in the restaurant. She should have been flattered that he was going to stand up to her about a supposed affair. 3 *'s

She was not behaving well at all.

She doesn't get to cross lines just because she is crossing them with gay men.

Crapola! Any husband who hears about his wife sticking her panties in another man's pocket ,then bumping and grinding while playing tonsil-hockey is going to react just as hubby did. Gay or not,wifey acted like a twat!

Her ultimatum? Leave the cunt! (I thought Vicki was her oldest friend and that's how they'd behaved for the 10 years he knew them?!)

There are more holes in this story than there are in aged swiss cheese!

Puke!

Absolute dog shit!!!!

Is an insult to canine feces.

I really liked it, a really original twist for a LW story. Five stars. I am going to check out more of your work, Bravo