All Comments on 'Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred Pt. 02: Alt. Ending'

Great story, great comeuppance and a great different read. Different. creative and interesting.

Good telling of the conclusion.

But Ugh!

This story was a waste of time reading. 1*

Sorry, this doesn't jibe with the original story. If Vicki was familiar with the people Sharon saw on girls nights out she would have known about Luke's gender choices. Vicki would know Luke was not a threat to Bob or his marriage.

They are both assholes

Incoherent. Completely detached from info in the original.

.

1 *

Another totally unrealistic femdom man-hater fantasy. The really low evaluation is speaking by itself.

Love the twist. I also love the fact that it has upset all the misogynistic homophobic wimps on here.

This was a complete fail. You completely changed the character of all the main players. Please stop ruining other people’s good work.

Well that just completely sucked. How is it that giving your panties to another guy and sucking his face in public is okay just because the guy is gay. He should have beat the shit out of both of the faggots and the skanky lying slut.

I guess there always has to be one. Please Ahazura, FTLOC withdraw your permission to other authors to drive cars over your original excellent tale!

I can’t stand most of the overwrought BTB stories found here. That said, there was nothing in this story’s antecedent to justify the alteration of the MC’s personality from “concerned husband” to “insecure, whiny dickhead”. Or, to change “Luke’s” character into a gay man with a boyfriend. (That makes no sense to me.)

I understand your frustration and concomitant anger at the trolls and chuckleheads that spew hate speech disguised as “erotic literature”. Your tale might have been better if you had been more subtle. The trogs that are to be found here can actually read, so they are not quite as stupid as you might think, given some of the comments on the site.

Well you managed to ruin another authors good work. Next time try having an original idea or better yet stop attempting to write. You suck at it.

A set up or something.

Don't forget. Why would gay guys want to kiss and panties. Don't buy it

Pure bullshit not connected to original story. Not even the fucking title.

Didn't really make sense. It was supposedly OK to kiss a guy and give him her panties because he was gay. The original story said the guy was on notice to stop sexual harassment at work. A sting is good, but not when it contradicts the early chapter. You are a very good writer, but this was not one of your best.

Doesn't fit the feel or context (may not be the right word) of the original part one. The characters don't match up personality wise. The whole vibe is out of sync with the character interactions. This ending seems to have been written from a dominant female point of view. Someone must be in a wife led marriage?

0 star - waste of time

those guys r Bi.

...... you only take your panties off is for your lover....

mrbill

none of this story fit w/in the parameters set by the original. The texts b/w wify and luke werent read by me as jokey flirtation b/w gay and whore but b/w 2 people working up to fuck each other. Vicki is married in original, so cant get her as a fallback for sheepshit sharon. Might would have been funny/cute except for change in attitude by wife. My take from the story is that Id divorce wife as not suitable for friend lover dependable sane wife. 2*

Hey that's a nice sequel.

Unique twist.

Didn't see it comming.

5*

One hardly sees " Unique" stuff any longer.

Good old Joe. No one hated the BTB more than he did.

Not a drop on the original two stories. Pathetic actually.

Scores 1/5

Well he read the story, but he didn't actually comprehend 95% of the narrative. Just picked out random, out of context, parts and mashed them together. I understand he's doing a sequel to Lord of The Rings, where Frodo and Sam become rent boys.

That was NOT a new ending.

It was a completely different story.

And it sucked!

Sharon's reaction is still that of a woman who does not respect her husband.

Even if the recasting of Vicki as a villain were plausible, all Sharon would have to do is talk to Bob, explain that Luke bats for the other team, that the 'dares' were really just for fun (though could anyone ever believe that fun like that would pass a spouse test?), and finally, have enough insight to know that her husband's attitude is only due to his perception that he was being betrayed. Any woman would react a lot more harshly than how Bob had.

Doesn't gel with the original story at all. Just a reinvention aimed at putting Bob in a humiliating position. Made Sharon feel like a cold bitch.

Under the circumstances, if i were Bob, I'd go to Vicki's as well. Stuff her. Especially knowing that, according to the original story, Luke spends his workday chasing any tail he can.

That would mean that Luke is actually bi.

Which would indicate that the flirting, grinding on the dance floor, the panties... were all for the original reason. Otherwise, why would there be so much angst in Sharon's texts to Luke? And why would she be lying by omission?

Obviously, our hard-done-by heroine really just wanted to throw Bob off the scent, and she was angry about having her planned threesome with Luke and his boytoy thwarted. I'm sure she'd make new arrangements with Luke over their next cozy lunch for two.

Go back to writing your own stories. That way I will avoid them as i normally do.

You ignore half the facts that were revealed in the original story, but still post this crap? Get the fuck out.

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Complete load of crap, had absolutely nothing in its tone to be considered a sequel, crap of the highest order

give her 100%, and then tell her every time she goes on a girls night out with the guy friends you'll find a lesbian and dare them to jack you off

He is gay huh. What kind of gay guy gets turned on dancing with women? Please

Not true to the theme or context of Part 1.

Not true to the plot of Part 1.

WTF????

Count on old Joe to turn the story around. Not bad, but I prefer the original.

Although it's a nice twist ther are some facts from the original part 1, that are ignore here. Even with the explanations from swingerjoe it doesn't fit.

However Anonymous 02/13/16 made a good sequel to move it back to the original part. Before reading the comments i had a sequel in my mind making choice 3 but not by phone but meeting with Vicki and Ron and ecplaining everthing to them, decribing Luke where Vicki says that's not the Luke Sharon was meeting.

Sorry for writing as anonymous, but I try to activate my account since July 2019 but don't get any support, neither by email nor insite.

I was almost too worn out to read the story. But I slugged it out and have to agree with Anonymous's (aka FTDS) comment "I choose number one." Damn, people it was one author's take on a story, that's all. We're not debating the meaning of Bible scripture or revamping the Alamo if you happen to live here in San Antonio. I was starting to expect I was going to be reading death threats. Signed: BTW

Makes no sense. If she was going out with gay guys why would she not say anything to her husband.

I always like these "poor" wives when the husband is working umpteen hours to give them the things they enjoy (houses, cars, etc.), but they aren't paying enough attention to them. Duh, why don't they try working 60+ hours per week and see how they feel physically. Can't have it both ways.

Dancing, grinding, feeling up... gave her panties up to the guy. This is some woman's ending making it the man's fault after she nearly cheated... and it's a 1.

2000s - man is always always wrong.

This version sucked.

That's the kind of shit single women do and she's not single. Why would she need to visit two men in their room? I know of lots of guys who don't mind having their dicks sucked and it doesn't matter whether by male or female. If my wife is going to meet the girls for a drink occasionally that's ok but to make it a regular thing is totally inappropriate and would not be allowed if she wants to remain marrie.

....smoke, there’s fire. Even if he did jump to the wrong conclusion, wifey’s behavior remains unjustified.

They got a room? Really, two “gay” guys and Sharon was going to “visit” together there?

Almost everything we read up to the confrontation only involves Sharon and Luke...no mention of Sam. Her behavior is very risqué on her nights out and becoming more so each week. What’s to say Luke or Sam or both might not be bi-sexual and looking for a threesome that night. What’s to say she wasn’t fully aware and up for it. I know of just such a case in my extended social circle. So, I don’t think this was a particularly telling or even justifiable handling of the thing.

I think SJoe likes his married women overbearing and as independent as single women. Again, not very reasonable or realistic IMO.

By this, I’m not trying to vindicate Bob’s behavior, either. I think he should call Vicki and cancel as Sharon demanded, then Bob should likewise insist that Sharon cancel all future “dates” with her funboiz.

Something about all that still stinks, and I think the veneer is too thin to prevent the real agenda from coming out. I don’t get from this that Sharon wasn’t on the high road to adultery.....and seems to be covering her hidden guilt with bluster....”methinks thou riots protest too much.”

Clearly these two have a lot work to to do, but I don’t think this particular scenario was very rehonest.

Y’see, having made wedding vows (a vow is a pretty serious thing!), her time, her body, her plans, etc. are no longer hers alone. The same applies to him.

The apparent notion that when an exptremely demanding work situation crops up that there is no excuse for any lessening of activity at home, night’s out, etc. is ludicrous. Equally, too many allow work demands to completely dictate their private lives.

All that said, it was articulately written as usual, but it’s simply not a premise that seems very realistic to me.

Like I said, I have found that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

now those who give ultimatums should be prepared to give answers or cut bait, TK U MLJ LV NV

This story has numerous alternate endings. Each one takes a different direction. SwingerJoe took this one. Overall it is well written and fits well as a follow-up to the original story line. So why the low rating? It was the BTB readers. I love a good decent BTB story as much or more than the average reader here, but personally this was just an alternate ending. It may not rate a 5 but 3.1? That rating is just a knee jerk reaction because the author took his vision in a different diection than the story line those who voted wanted it to go. Haters gonna hate.

He wants to cuckold everyone! Look out ladies, Swingerjoe has Herpes and HPV.

She was behaving like a slut. It doesn't matter if the guy she was doing it with was gay .

What if the husband was friends with a bunch of lesbians who dared him to let them do lap dances with him. You think his wife would be understanding?

... i would have been so cotrite, just like Bob. But as soon as that ultimatum hit, now ”boxed into a corner”, I would become so pissed off and defensive, I would say anything that hurt her back (but in fact also hurt me the most, but I rarely think of that when I’m that mad) and, looking very said and fuming at the same time, would say in an ice cold monotone, “Honey, give me 20 minutes to pack a few bags, and I’ll be out that door. I’m sorry about what I said, but I can’t be with you any longer.”

And thus would start my jouney into the hell called divorce.

Leave Anonymous alone, you don't know what he's been through!

Damnit, I'm about to cry...I need to snuggle my teddy bear and curl up in my Care Bears blanket.....tomorrow will be a better day.

hey ananymouse, leave our little DetroitCuckCity alone, he is a tender little guy and takes anonymous jabs very seriously and responds to them.

Yes, in your haste to brand yet another reader as a "cuck", you probably missed the sarcasm in my comment. It's ok though.....I pay little attention to "anonymous" commenters who hide behind keyboards and ramble incoherently about perceived literary injustices. This was a hilarious take on the challenge put down by Ahazura.

Closet cucks project their insecurities onto others.

Typical overreaction by SJ Poor fella, how frayed those widdle nerves must be from other folks constantly wearing on them!

Bitch!

shaking like shitting dogs, fucking cockweasels, too funny

no discussion, if shoe was on other foot hed be gone, send the immature cunt packing

This author altered the original somewhat. More importantly, do we have any reason to believe that Luke is not bi (his boyfriend might not know)? Cheating is cheating.

Original twist, I'll give you that, but you also "twisted" the original story.

The whole girl's night out and "dares" thing is absolutely out of place for a married, maybe not cheating per se but close. Taking her panties and give them to another person? Kissing another guy, even a male one? Is this the kind of behavior that a married and faithful wife should carry? Or is this the kind of behavior that lead to stray? You turn the husband in to a completely moron when he had all the right to think his wife was cheating and, till a certain degree, he was right. Her behavior shows no respect for her husband and his feelings and shows that she is in fact a very selfish person who cares only for herself.

her. Adios you smart a ss bitch.

I really liked it, a really original twist for a LW story. Five stars. I am going to check out more of your work, Bravo

Is an insult to canine feces.

Absolute dog shit!!!!

Puke!

Crapola! Any husband who hears about his wife sticking her panties in another man's pocket ,then bumping and grinding while playing tonsil-hockey is going to react just as hubby did. Gay or not,wifey acted like a twat!

Her ultimatum? Leave the cunt! (I thought Vicki was her oldest friend and that's how they'd behaved for the 10 years he knew them?!)

There are more holes in this story than there are in aged swiss cheese!

She was not behaving well at all.

She doesn't get to cross lines just because she is crossing them with gay men.

Sorry, SJ, cause I like most of your submissions. Even though this was an interesting twist, Sharon made her husband out to be a fool. If she really loved him that much, she should have given him the benefit of his doubt, and not belittle him in the restaurant. She should have been flattered that he was going to stand up to her about a supposed affair. 3 *'s

For the read.

Agreed.

Not an alternate ending. An alternate story.

The idea that all the slutty behavior was dares from gay men is ridiculous and just thrown in to try to make the very very very very justifiably upset husband look foolish.

minus 3 stars

they hurt a lot. TK U MLJ LV NV

The Anon who wrote the review 'I choose number one' impressed me, he put this ending back on the right track, kudos to him!

this is an ending that basically ignores so many elements from the original that it can in no way be considered an alternate ending, but rather is a completely different story.

Sucked

But chicken shit author doesn't allow voting... Voted 1 because swingerjoe twisted the original plot and characters to fit his narrative on how the (swinging) world should be.

"Umm, excuse me," Sharon interrupted, "but I'm a grown-ass woman. I don't need him to 'let' me go out once in a while and have some fun. Maybe if he weren't so busy all the time, he could have joined us."

Well Bob's a grown man so he can go have "fun" with his hot secretary without Sharon "letting" him or him even telling her. See every one of these fucked up WACC cuck stories can work in the guys favor when genders are reversed. 

"remember that this was all according to Vicki -- who was trying to steal Bob away from his wife." So Vicki married to Ron was a cheating cunt too? I missed that in the original story... And it wasn't all according to Vicki in the original, the pantiless dancing was confirmed by Sharon herself in text messages. And none of it passes the spouse test, except in swingerjoes crazy world. 

See what I mean:  "If I were to see a married woman I know dancing at a bar with a guy I don't know, I would think nothing of it, because I see it all the time. Married women are allowed to have fun just like the rest of us. I'd hate to live in a world where women were only allowed to dance with their husbands. What you call "behaving poorly" I call "behaving appropriately."

In my world my wife and I are not allowed to dance with others without our mutual consent.  And we don't consent. The only way this kind of dirty dancing would be "ok" is if the gender roles were reversed and Sharon had no problem with Bob dirty dancing with his hot, younger, better looking, sexually aggressive, personal assistant, with her handing hubby her panties... In my world dirty dancing is a form of sex. The point is one of intimacy and who one shares it with. Physical as well as emotional.

I would give your fake name one star but you are afraid of ratings

I'm not to certain as I have not been to each and every C&W bar in these United States, but in those that I have been in... I do not remember any women (or men for that matter) wearing little black dresses to line dance in. While I shure would love to see it I suspect it might be a bit hard to make the moves one needs to make in one of those dresses. Mighty revealing too I would imagine.

From Ahazura's Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred pt. 01

"She came down the stairs wearing her little black dress that she always wore when they would go out on their dates."

.....because she "doubled down" on her disloyal and disrespectful behavior by saying nothing and taking him to the restaurant for a dose of public humiliation....all the while (and perhaps by that mechanism) avoiding having to explain her prior completely inappropriate behavior......at least as I judge from the preceding story.

That he listened to Vicki and did not verify her claims was foolish and overly reactive. That he had reason to do so, was stupid, disloyal, destructive and foolish on wifey's part.

See, that's the kind of crap that happens when one spouse gets careless and foolishly thinks their stepping out of their marital obligations will be OK.

It won't.

A woman dancing with a man other than her husband is not an issue, unless she's fuck-dancing, removing lingerie and otherwise acting like an unmarried wild-child away at college for the first time......or if her hubby is a twisted pervert and has convinced her to become a hotwife. Then, who gives a fuck. Their marriage is a sham and their just two incredibly immature people with no belief in or respect for the institution, throwing their lives away in staged debaucheries.

But if they are a more traditional couple, then......

Cutting loose and having fun?

Shit for brains, go home and ask for a divorce, then, after the dust settles, go out and be as wanton and slutty as you like....hell, fuck every man in the place if you want, for you no longer have any responsibility to anyone else.

But don't think for a minute that it's OK to act irresponsibly and lie to your bound mate and think that it is or should be acceptable to them.

Oh, and when this started up, was she thinking about her children's welfare? I'd bet my brand new GTO they didn't even cross her mind. That would be responsible and adult....something IMO she was absolutely not being.

If she really thought she was on firm footing, why wouldn't she say something about it...even causally and in passing....TO THE MOST IMPORTANT OTHER ADULT IN HER LIFE???

Hmmm....making an effort to communicate with her overworked, but committed husband....well, that would be too much like being a growing up.

So, SJ, this one seemed a little sneering to me. Not up to your usual levels of fineness, IMO.

But thank you for taking the risk....it had its moments.

And in trying to be fair, I, for most of my comments DID discount Vickie testimony because of how you portrayed her (I thought it was a cheap shot add on, but...I have added elements to stories too. I just tried to be a bit more sedate in their uses)

That being said, I didn't hate the story and considering how quickly you put it out, I have to give credit for writing coherently and quickly.

As to my email, I did a continuation of YOUR story which I felt squared the circle between the original and your additions in a nice (but not as well written) way.

However, lacking your agreement, I decided not to post it, though I thought I sent a copy to you via the Lit Feedback function for your enjoyment.

I haven't received your email, so I'll respond here. To your points:

1. It's not that I didn't "like" your comment; I simply disagreed with it.

2. Bob asked Sharon on Wednesday, "So, what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night?" Sharon responds, "OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work."

So, Sharon was planning to meet Luke and Sam at the Red Horse. Maybe she forgot the venue was changed to TGIF. Maybe she was in the middle of something, was distracted by it, and didn't think it mattered as Bob was just making small talk. That's possible, right? If I had included that throwaway line in my story, then her character wouldn't have lied. My goal with this alternate ending was to offer a light-hearted spin on a tired old story line. I really didn't expect that readers would comb through every word of the original story like forensic scientists at a murder scene. Clearly, I needed to cover my tracks better than I did to satisfy the CSI's of Lit, but that really wasn't my goal, regardless.

3. As far as "rubbing her cunt" against Luke and giving him a "passionate kiss," remember that this was all according to Vicki -- who was trying to steal Bob away from his wife. Naturally, she would have exaggerated the events of that night. It was probably a peck on the cheek and an innocent dance.

If I were to see a married woman I know dancing at a bar with a guy I don't know, I would think nothing of it, because I see it all the time. Married women are allowed to have fun just like the rest of us. I'd hate to live in a world where women were only allowed to dance with their husbands. What you call "behaving poorly" I call "behaving appropriately."

4. The fact that Luke is gay is absolutely a factor, because there is even less reason for Bob to distrust her, and even less reason to question her actions. There is zero attraction on Luke's part, and this allowed Sharon more freedom to display her "slutty side" without any threat to her marriage or fidelity.

I suppose that different people view life through different lenses, and that is what makes the world a more interesting place. Twenty years ago, you and I probably wore the same lenses, but my prescription has changed since then. Whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion. Regardless, I appreciate your passion and persistence, and always welcome your feedback.

Forgot something.

As to the selfish part: in your story, the only opinion that Sharon cared about was her own. She did not care how her friends would see her actions. She did not care how strangers would see her actions. Nor did she care how BOB would see her actions.

So yes, I stand by selfish.

You recently commented to me in the other One Fifty or One Hundred alternative by Stormbreyer, but I decided to answer here where you might see it easier.

1) If you don't like my comment, well, sometimes even Homer Nods

2) Check your Lit email account. I sent you something

3) You are incorrect. Here is the core of your comment:

**

Your belief seemingly stems from the fact that, in my story, Sharon didn't protest when Bob called her on her behavior and offered his ultimatum. You believe she should have told him at that point that Luke was gay and that it was all a big misunderstanding instead of taking him to see Luke and show him the "big reveal" in person.

**

Absolutely incorrect.

it is not that she should have just talked to him. I understand dramatic necessity. It is this:

1) SHE lied to Bob. Directly.

2) SHE has been getting emotionally involved with another man. Gay or not, her actions according to the texts SHE sent (and you ignored in your writing) indicated she KNEW she was sending very bad messages to her comrades and friends.

3) She was blatantly rubbing her cunt against another man, giving him deep soulful kisses and giving him her panties PUBLICALLY.

So...say a friend of Bob and Sharon were at the bar. What are they to think? They will think she is a loose morale slut acting in ways a wife should not.

You seem to think the 'hey, he's GAY' thing glosses over all of that. It does not.

She behaved poorly. And when called on behaving poorly, even if she did not cheat, did she show the slightest bit of remorse, regret or apology?

No. She attacked her husband.

O...kay. The things she did were NOT okay. I don't care if she did it with a gay man. So her attitude is quite appalling.

The comments to the Swingerjoe hi-jacking of the story are better than the story. I don't know if that's true. I didn't read this story.

I definitely am enjoying the commentary. Awesome baby!

Even a hi-jacking of swingerjoe's heist of Ahazura. By one-half of FTDS. He chooses one. Hilarious!

I think I'll skip this story. Just keep reading the comments. I did read Ahazura and can follow the references.

This is some really good stuff,lol.

AMerryman

Daniel, I was referring to F. Scott Fitzgerald's quote - "People over forty can seldom be permanently convinced of anything. At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are caves in which we hide."

It has nothing to do with being a caveman, to me it's more about as we get older, letting our convictions completely blind us to the spice of life . . . VARIETY, as opposed to using them as a base to enjoy that variety. I'm sorry I didn't explain it more clearly. Good luck with whatever perspective(s) you choose!! Take care.

Oh dear Daniel. I never said I was right, I said I had a different perspective . . . one that I don't think you can appreciate. Do you disagree with that? I also never called you any names. As to being condescending, I just think you're missing out, but if that's what you want, okay. I'm really truly sorry you can't enjoy these variations, and I want to encourage others to experiment with other variations. Do what makes you happy. I'm sorry to have upset you.

When a writer issue an alt. ending you would think that the follow up story would be true to the first story just changing the ending. First, Bob went very careful through the evidence that his wife was acting inappropriate to their marriage. He was wary about the meeting with Vicki without his wife being present. Vicki was his wife's friend and she asked him to call either her or her husband about the situation (hardly words enticing an affair). Even if you ignore the evidence of her bad judgement (e.g., texts, lying about the dinner with Luke versus being out with the girls, her agreement about the project, her reactions to be caught) I agree with other comments that her behavior was inappropriate. What about getting so drunk your friends have to take you home? If you wanted to make another version which switched roles by all means do so but you distorted the original story. BTW: Where is the marriage counseling that this couple so desperately needs in her list of three choices or should Bob just grovel for years because he reached a conclusion anyone would reach given the evidence?

I don't care if they are fags. What she did is lying, cheating, and disrespecting her husband. Anyone who says different is a cucky wimp.

I'm actually in full on 100% agreement with FD45 on this one. That doesn't happen very often... as in just this side of never. lol

I avoided this "Alternate Ending" for a while, but curiosity finally got the better of me. I sometimes like new takes on other tales.

As for this tale itself, if I hadn't read the original by Ahazura, this one would've made much more sense, as strange as that might sound. I actually thought that flipping the roles would've been pretty clever, but the fact that Joe almost totally ignored the previously established dynamic, evidence, and feelings involved with both Hubby and Wifey, ruined it for me. It was just sloppy storytelling, IMO.

I don't usually criticize Joe's writing ability. Just because I don't share his views, doesn't mean I don't respect writing talent. Hell, I even think that some of his swinging tales are well done for what they are. This one just wasn't very good, though.

I get that a hell of a lot. Frankly, the misinformation spouted in 'The Forgotten Woman' angered me, not that I miswrote the story, but that folks I corrected in their misapprehensions continued to insist that I, the AUTHOR, got it wrong.

Well...

I thought I granted that swingerjoe DID get permission, though whether Azahura regrets it now is between the two of them.

However, the great majority of critics of this story are correctly pointing out that swingerjoe is treating the original material shabbily AND that the logic of the situation re the actions of the wife makes the character of the wife into a real bitch.

To wit: if I found my wife sucking on the face of some guy I did not know, my anger is well deserved If I find out later that said man is actually her brother or some gay dude does not change the fact that she was publically sucking on the face of some guy and acting in a way inconsistent with a loyal wife and in a humiliating fashion for the husband.

So jumping all over the husband is inconsistent, illogical AND makes the character unlikeable. Because the HUSBAND is correct. There is no 'but I get to dry hump gay guys and suck on their faces' in the 'forsaking all others' vows, no matter how Sharon wants this to be true.

This ignores the texts.

I am not disagreeing with HOW swingerjoe wrote the characters. I am saying he did a shitty job in extrapolating from the original story. Which is about quality of writing.

@c24j

Maybe if you weren't such an insulting and condescending ass I might be tempted to listen to and consider your point of view. "come out of the cave"? really? Your point of view doesn't make you right, and it by no means makes me a "caveman" because my point of view is different than yours. How about we agree to disagree since you cant keep it civil.

Peace out peeplez! :-)

Daniel, this is getting tiresome. I get that you are incapable of looking at part 1 from the viewpoint of an innocent woman with a crazy jealous husband. You can't do it, so part 1 will never match swingerjoe's part 2 in your mind. That's your perspective. You can't see that she seems to gloss over some stuff or even be a bit misleading sometimes, obviously KNOWING that he'd react negatively, and that he sees things from a viewpoint which can't be trusted, and that Vicki's words can't be trusted. I get what you see as the Red Horse/TGIF inconsistency (and perhaps others) which you insist is so big it means that swingerjoes part 2 doesn't match part 1. I don't think you get that we disagree, and we're dealing with it from a perspective you are unable to see or empathize with.

You seem insist that your viewpoint of what's going on in the original outweighs the original author and swingerjoe and I and several others see when we read part 1 and combine it with swingerjoe's part 2. It should be obvious to you that we have a perspective that you don't and that our perspective works for us when reading EITHER part 2. You seem to be insisting that what YOU think is an inconsistency means there can be only one perspective . . . yours. Go on believing that if it makes you happy, but it's not real life my friend. There are always multiple perspectives. Again paraphrasing Fitzgerald, your conviction has become a cave in which you hide (and from which you may see no perspective but your own) . . . those of us trying to retain some of our youthfulness try to have our convictions be hills from which we can view many perspectives. I think you'll have more fun if you climb out of the cave and join us . . . but it's up to you.

Ahazura's part 1 was really good, as was his part 2, as was swingerjoe's part 2. Both part 2's are very different but valid endings to the same part 1 (in the perspective of many of us . . . just not in yours and many others who have narrowed their viewpoints on part 1).

Further, without swingerjoe's part 2, we wouldn't have Anony's clever alternate, which is also really fun. So by finding swingerjoe's option invalid, you lose out on the fun of Anony's. All of the writings (Part1, Part2, AltPart2, and AltPart2a) are creative, decent storytelling, and enjoyable (in my perspective). I'm truly sorry that you and several others seem unable to appreciate all this. And, I really hope all these comments (and unnecessary controversies) don't prevent others from coming up with further alternate takes on part 1. I'd love to see some others !!!

Daniel32 is correct in his analysis of the story itself. Bob did not assume anything in his conversation with Sharon on Wednesday. He asked Sharon the question regarding Thursday night in order to test her veracity. He gave her a chance to be honest and yet she compounded her lies of omission with a direct lie as to her planned whereabouts. Sharon's behaviour in this ending was unfounded as she knew that she had lied to him which caused his distrust in her. I also prefer the original ending where she acknowledges her mistakes and they work together to save their marriage.

I must disagree with Daniel when I say that I have no wish to read any alternate first chapters to this story. I have enjoyed swingerjoe's stories in the past but the writing in this story was far below his usual par.

Your helping of common sense for the day

Your assuming alot c24j. I have no problem with an ending that fits an original!!! What I have a problem with is that too much got changed or ignored from the first part when it came to writing this one tho.

That's why I would read an alternate beginning that fits with this one. I'd enjoy that better than reading the first part and then reading this one before I read the real ending [my fault for clicking on it instead of the real ending to start with] I read the real ending and it fits better than this one cuz of what happened in the first part v what happened in this alternate universe.

I'm not kidding about reading a new alt beginning to this story that fits with this ending! Plz write one joe! :-)

Also Daniel, take a look at your own example, carefully. He makes an assumption, as she said.

Shaman, even the original author says it's an alternate, not a rewrite . . . look back in the comments.

Did you read Ahazura's comment?? Probably the only way for you to see this option (and it may not be possible for you to do this), is to read the original as if you are an innocent wife and Bob's a bit crazy.

Look, the original author sees it as a valid alternate ending, swingerjoe does, several others and I do. We're at the point where we KNOW it's valid. You don't want to see that, and I suspect you are trying to convince yourself really . . . not us. That's fine. Believe what you will. (Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as they say.)

Take heart though, it is certainly not inline with the most likely scenario from the author. But it was intentionally left open to interpretation, and others were invited to try different endings. It wouldn't be much fun if we ended up with several different writers all coming to the same conclusion . . . the one YOU want. I look forward to other, different endings. (We've already had a pretty good alternate to the alternate ending in the comments by an Anony. Check that out if you haven't seen it yet. I suspect it's a bit more your cup of tea.)

Lots of comments made about what was changed etc. I do not mind an attempt at an alternate ending. Or even a different story altogether. The author claimed an alternate ending. This was not. He changed part of the plot and evidence leading to the conclusions drawn. That is ok if it was stated only the characters were used with plot changes. Felt wrong the way handled. Really bastardized the originally.

From this ending

"But you lied to me! You told me you were going to girl's night out tonight!"

"Umm, no I didn't," she said. "I never said that. You just assumed that."

That was after this in Ahaz's first part

"So what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night? Should I stop by after work and make sure you all are good to drive home?" he asked with what he hoped was a light tone.

"OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work." she looked down at her orange chicken as she said this.

joe man you need to fix this story of yours. Sharon lied to him and had no right to get her back up. Bob was still in the right and he[you] shoulda remembered that. You shoulda read all of the original before you wrote this. sorry but you can't make this work unless you write an alternate beginning. Again good luck! :-)

I'm out peepz!

That conversation happened on Wednesday but when he found the texts on her phone about the hotel they were from Monday. She straight out lied to him.

Laterz peepz!!! :-)

When Sharon said that, she intended to meet Luke and his boyfriend at the Red Horse, but then they later changed their plans via text.

At least, we can assume that, given the events that took place in the alternate ending.

See, the problem is that so many people assume that Part One is the Holy Grail, and every word of it -- as told from Bob's viewpoint -- is true. But maybe, just maybe, this alternate ending is actually the truth, and Bob was wildly off base.

...And, I assume, that was the entire point of the alternate ending in the first place.

Anonymous, you say "Now I see why loving wives is so popular. . . . . You guys are a riot."

Just let us have our little riot in the LW space in peace -- no criticism from outside thank you. We have to get our entertainment somewhere.

Join in. There are some quite intelligent discussions brought about by the LW stories. As you say, it is not necessarily the better stories that elicit the maximum number of comments. It is the ones that raise controversial topics that get the conversations going.

Anonymous, register a name so that you can join the conversations that interest you. Separate yourself from all the other bland anonymice. Demonstrate an intellectual capacity to contribute.

L

Everyone that claims Sharon wasn't lyin check this from part 1

"So what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night? Should I stop by after work and make sure you all are good to drive home?" he asked with what he hoped was a light tone.

"OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work." she looked down at her orange chicken as she said this.

She straight out lied to him.

Lates peoples! :-)

@c24j

Did you read part 1 at all? You must have skipped or ignored the texts when Sharon was worried about how it would look to Bob. You know when she said she "couldn't lose him over this."

What about the lies that Sharon told Bob? I guess that lies are okay in your world cuz that's what it sounds like. Its all about trust man. lies kinda kill trust you know.

This ending is in a whole other universe tho.

I gave joe the solution if he wants to fix this. He should write his own part 1 to fit with this ending. It doesn't fit with the original. :-)

Don't read any of this guys stories,swinging is not my forte, but curiosity got the better of me, wondering why so many comments. Even the best stories on this site don't warrant that many comments in a short time. Skimmed through them.

Now I understand. My take is, the story itself sucked but warranted enough controversy to have many leave an opinion. Did get a chuckle how some of the anons really got some of the folks riled up. They couldn't stop talking about it. A good many comments were just bashing each other, having really nothing to do with the original or this story.

Now I see why loving wives is so popular. It's the battle of "erotica", with two factions plotting against each other looking for a weak spot to attack and destroy. LMAO You guys are a riot. A fucking "porn" site of all places.

This is an alternate ending, not a rewrite. Even the original author, Ahazura, said, "Joe's conclusion is considered an alternate ending, not a rewrite.".

I know many of you are desperate to prove to yourselves that somehow it betrays the original, but it doesn't. The evidence you offer almost all stems from Vicki, who in the alternate ending has an ulterior motive . . . so all of that evidence is meaningless.

You are upset at the way the alternate ending turned out, but obviously it was very, very good, and gut-wrenching to some, or you wouldn't see the outpouring of anger and denial evident here. Each time you try and force the story to fit your evidence, or resort to name calling, what you are subconsciously (or maybe even consciously) actually saying is, "Very creative writing Joe . . . it really stuck a nerve . . . it got to me on a gut level.".

Your criticisms, good or bad, or supposedly evidence-laden, are all further tribute to what an impact this alternate ending had on you.

So well-done swingerjoe . . . even the meanest stuff on here is further proof of what a good job you did.

To those of you who can't stand this ending, and are desperately trying to prove it can't happen . . . Get a grip. Relax. It's not real. Good news, it didn't happen. It's just a really fun, evocative alternate ending to a really fun story.

Thanks again, Ahazura and swingerjoe.