Zoomie 01

Zoomie 01

Hi people, most folks call me Zoomie and that stems from way back in the day when we all had youth ATV's and I could really zoom around because of my slight size and because the fuel in the fuel tank weighed more than I did (LOL, which is almost still the same today). I'm not exactly attracted to guys, but I do wear the clothes and makeup that they like and I work pretty hard at keeping my slender size in forms that they also like (my butt has a nice shape to it). I mean, I hate being thought of as a mirror CD, but with how I live my life, well, I guess I mainly dress for photos and for the occasional visitors that my ex-roomie used to bring around.

But the good news is that I carry a good attitude with me when I dress and I think the ex-roomie's (Tad) friends at least appreciated my efforts. I mean, they didn't dump their friend just because he roomed with a silly cross dresser, so that says something, right? I mean, other than they liked being served and all, right?

And by the way, Tad didn't move out a couple of months ago because of my lifestyle choices. He had received a job promotion opportunity that he couldn't pass up, but it included a relocation to Utah, so that's the only reason he stopped rooming with me. I mean, it was a great opportunity for his future, so he had to take it, right?

Which brings me to my original beginnings of my story. I decided to document my search and interview process for a new roomie just in case the reality TV show "Roommate's Gone Bad" ever came around to Middleton in search of new TV program stories. I mean, I could see myself on camera sitting across from an axe murderer at a table and holding my crazy hair in my hands as the possible roomie candidate sat across from with that look in his eyes and an axe sharpening wheel as his luggage. I mean, based on what is considered as reality TV these days, right? Who is to say that I wouldn't be a hit if I had to run around the house in just my undies to get away from the scar faced axe murderer as he tried to explain his view point on guys who wear female clothing, but don't share a bed with anyone. I mean, that's a hit show, right?

Anyways, my TV dreams were basically dashed the day after I drove Tad to the airport. I mean, I didn't sleep very well that Friday night from being alone in the house after so long, so I was quite groggy when I woke up that Saturday morning to a surprise that I wasn't expecting. I mean, LOL, that's an entirely different reality TV show, I think.

"Good morning, Zoomie. Surprised to wake up next to your ex-roommate's step sister?"

"Huh (yawn), what, OMG, Tara? What the hell are you doing here (yawn)?"

"Solving your problems, silly. And don't worry, I'm not totally naked."

"Um (yawn), what? Tara, what the hell is going on here? Is there a TV filming crew in my bedroom?"

"LOL, no way roomie, this is very private. Anyways, I'm using my own script to trick you into proclaiming as your next, best and official roomie. Now, suck on my titties a little until you're awake enough to nod your head in a "yes" motion."

"Tara (yum, suckle, yum, suckle), there's a whole interview (suckle, suckle) process to go through and the film crew (slurp, slurp, suck, suck, yum) hasn't confirmed that they found a good axe murdered yet (hmmm, suck, drool, suckle)."

"Yeah, well, poking my belly with a hard sissy dick is an entire process too, so suckle on my fleshy titties and pronounce me as your roomie, Zoomie. Hmmm, yum, yum, right Zoomie? Ooh, wow, well now, you could suck a cock, couldn't you sweetie?"

"Tara, I'm (yum, yum, slurp, slurp, suckle, suck), um, I'm calling foul."

"And I'm calling a moving truck, so."

"You're paying rent (slurp, slurp, ga, ga, ga)."

"Should I turn around Zoomie? Is it better if you spoon hump me roomie? You can just reach around and knead my titties Zoomie, you know, like they were a set of balls, hmmm, LOL, ahh, my new fem boy roomie still likes girls, doesn't he?"

"(Suck, plop, reach, squeeze) this isn't fair, Tara! Oh, so this is what guy's want to do with me."

"LOL, forget all that for now roomie and push in there like this is a one-time thing (trick), Zoomie. I mean, make your sissy mess in your undies or on your sheets, just hump and proclaim me as your new roomie."

Stupid girl tricks!

"Hmmm, that's it, Zoomie, fall under my sins of the flesh spell and proclaim me and I promise, I won't be a mother hen about things. I mean, as long as you do everything that I say and all anyways. Besides, ooh, baby got humping game, anyways, I also promise to make your coffee every weekend as long as I don't have a steady who might object to this type of behavior."

"Are your fingers crossed (ugh, hump, push, hm, hm), Tara?"

"Push between my thighs, roomie, get all up "sins of the flesh" in there, Zoomie and proclaim me."

Stupid sins of the flesh tricks!

"I'm not paying for the moving truck!"

"Yes, you are roomie. I mean, that's real pussy you're thrusting just under Zoomie. Make your sissy mess now, Zoomie."

Stupid way male balls feel when it's about to be over! Also, wow, girl partners have a lot to offer, I mean, I like dressing like a girl.

"Am I queen of the house now, Zoomie?"

"You cheat, Tara!"

"Will my bedroom be painted by Wednesday, Zoomie? Open wide roomie."

Stupid boobs and how well they fit into your mouth!

"Hmmm, sucking a cock is just about the same, not to mention what you just did to me from the rear, so get over a few things and be the girl that you dress as, Zoomie. By the way, I'm showing off my new place by having a few friends over next weekend, so be nice to my co-worker, Kent. You're definitely his type, roomie Zoomie."

Well, the producers of the reality show "Dream Roommate's" called and said they would have to edit too much of that out, but they leave with a few promo shots of, ugh, my new roomie Tara straddling my chest, but it was from the rear and pretty much TV-17, I think.

Anyways, the good news was that, wow, my little dick does work and better yet, with Tara being Tad's step sister and all, the crews who stopped by wouldn't be all that different. And yeah, I had met Kent before and yeah, I was certainly his type and yeah, Kent was the reason that I developed the skills to hold off horny guys at bay, but he was actually pretty nice. He was just, um, handsy, if there is such a word.

Anyways, fast forward a week and yes, Tara's bedroom was freshly painted and remodeled and yes, she kept to her promise of making me my weekend morning coffee and yes, LOL, she was a total mother hen, but I knew that going in. In other words, within a week, all was right with the world despite all of the e-mails from my ex-roomie Tad about how allowing Tara to move in me wasn't without risk.

So, let me remind you of my lifestyle choices. I admit that I do want the brightest lips in the room and I will admit that I want my eyes to pop to the point of eye catching and I may want a little attention from my slender body and all, but I don't want a guy to escort me to my bedroom at the end of evening to say goodnight. I mean, in a way, my new roomie sexed me, so I was good in that area.

Well, fast forward by a couple of weeks more and I was the only one who felt that keeping things to myself was OK. I mean, I still had my defense systems in place, but Kent kept coming back for more and I think he thought that he was winning the war. I mean, yeah, Kent may have won a few battles and yeah, Kent may have a few victory notches in his belt, but neither of our belts had ever been unbuckled, so the war was at a stalemate, LOL, I think.

And it's not that I let my defenses down when Kent was able to claim a victory battle of two. I mean, he did pay attention to me and all, so let's think of it as me surrendering a battle field or two for a few private moments. I mean, a few of those stolen moments may have walked right up to the line in the sand, but like I said, neither of our battle belts had ever dropped to the floor, so, my claim that I don't wear the clothes and the makeup to have a boyfriend or be a boyfriend or maybe be the girlfriend stood firm and true under the flag.

Now, this s where things get a little fuzzy for me. I mean, like I said, I have my defense systems in place and I know when to stand and fight and when to walk away, but by the third weekend, well, maybe the attention got to me or maybe it was my other research on Chang that got to me, but by the end of the third weekend, I may or may not have let a few of my defenses fall a bit.

I mean, and I seriously mean it folks, just in case things went sideways on me in the near future, I, ah, I began, um, watching a few very mesmerizing and hypnotic T-Girl "tutorial" videos on Chang. I mean, talk about reality TV, right? They made it look so easy and effortless as they pleasured their partners in a variety of ways. I mean, I'm not saying that Tara was correct when she said that sucking on a cock wasn't all that different from sucking on a titty, but she seemed to be right about that or so the hypnotic videos made it seem. And by the way, even though things have been a little fuzzy in my head since Tara made me sign up for the online tutorials, I still don't know where all those T-Girls on Chang find all those well-endowed partners. I mean, I struggle to eat a banana, right? And for some reason, my brain won't let me say anything more about any of that. I mean, I think I have things to say, but it just won't come out for some reason. Um, wow, I seem to have completely lost my train of thought.

Anyways, back to Kent and his thinking that he was winning the war because his aggressions towards had been kicked up a notch. He's not winning, by the way. Um, although for some reason I feel the need to say that Tara thinks he has gained ground on the battle field.

"Zoomie, snap out of it. My friends are starting to arrive and you haven't a beer or a cocktail in sight."

"Oops, sorry Tara, I was, I was, well, I don't know what I was thinking about. My head has felt empty lately. Anyways, I'll take care of beer for the guys and vodka for you and Stacy, pronto."

"Alright, well, you seem to be back on earth now, so I don't know yet the type of things we're supposed to talk about, but Jacob may spend the night with me tonight, so that's cool, right? I mean, he'll be long gone before the morning breaks."

"Oh, I kind of figured something like that was coming when you made my coffee for me this morning."

"Ooh, yeah, that was my best yet, right? I mean, wow, if the reality TV crews could have caught that on video, right? Anyways, did you double shave extra close this afternoon for Kent? I think he likes how smooth you are."

See? Everyone thinks that Kent is totally winning the war, right? Well, he's not, but I did double shave anyways, but only because there was going to be a few extra people in the house. I mean, yeah, sure, whatever, Kent was just another visitor or something.

"Kent! For the 15th time, I'm a guy under all this and although I appreciate the attention that you pay to me, I'm still basically the same as you. Even though I work hard to keep my rear view as appealing and delightful as possible, I still have a surprise waiting in the front (even though it's a lot smaller than that damn tent in your pants that you strut around with), so maybe you should rethink things before we both end up in a situation that we can't get out of."

"Zoomie, you can keep all of your clothes on to kneel down in front of me and push my zipper down, so I don't need to know anything about what small little (he, he) thing you may have dangling in front."

Guys, right? They have all of the answers, right?

Anyways, I'll give Kent his warlord dues for fighting battle after battle, even though that's just a guy thing because no matter what happens, LOL, their "weapon" will always reload itself within a short period of time, right?

"Kent, this is all going too far now and I'm concerned about my ability to understand when to stand my ground to fight you off and when to walk away, so just go join the others for a while in the backyard and leave me be. I'll bring another round of cocktails shortly."

Yeah, see, see that look on his face? LOL, he truly believes he is winning the war. And given what I just said to him, well, maybe he has won a few more battles than I'm giving him credit for because lately, the gap between flirting and my retreat has widened and I'm concerned about this, yet I seem to do less and less about it. So, maybe Kent gets a few extra battle victories, but the war is far from over.

"Well Zoomie, you could at least wear looser fitting shorts and all. I mean, go change into something a little comfortable and accessible (and without a belt), Zoomie."

"OMG, you're impossible Kent. Just go outside for a while."

"Well Zoomie, what about that other thing I was talking about? You remember, the battle plan that will bring this war to an end?"

"What other war ending thing? You mean when you asked me to let you "measure" the depth of my rear cheeks? I mean, I responded with would you use a tape measure or your wandering fingers or maybe your fat weapon to measure the depth back there, but I don't remember you answering any of those to me, so."

No, seriously folks, I had never heard of "measuring the depth", so my response questions were totally legit and all. I mean, I knew the answer for sure, but if he was going to split my bare cheeks with his weapon of war, then he was going to have to say it out loud, right? Also, LOL, he would have done better if he had included a few other choice words like "luscious" or "golden globes" instead of just asking me to lay down flat and clench tight while he saws me back and forth. Between my luscious golden and shapely globes. With maybe just the hint of a sheen from a thin coat of baby oil. Like T-Girl Hillary Jaye demonstrated. On Chang. With her tutorial video. And with a partner who exceed her depth. And everyone seemed happy after that.

(Shakes head vigorously)

"Come on, Zoomie, at least let me join you in your bedroom while you change into those other cotton shorts that don't have a belt and that I know you have, alright? I mean, I can help, right?"

Again, guys and their responses when they want something, right folks?

"Kent, if you make a public post on Chang that you're joining a guy with a luscious backside in his bedroom while he changes shorts in front of you, then, well, I'll do it and I'll even do whatever else you want (with my hands only). So? You have until I finish distributing the next rounds of cold beers and cocktails to make that post."

"You know, Zoomie, you act like you're holding me off, but we always seem to end up face to face like this, so, admit that I'm winning and cave in for me."

"Hah, Kent, you keep spinning me around like a rag doll and pulling me into your chest like this!"

"And your eyes are spinning like the hypnotic videos are working, Zoomie."

"Hush, the roomie is coming, Kent, so the best I will say is that maybe and I mean maybe, I might wear looser fitting shorts next weekend. I mean, if you come around, that is. I mean, whatever."

Yeah, I'll probably regret it later for letting those words slip out of my mouth, but I had an entire week to figure something out for that. I mean, there was no gentle knock on my bedroom door that night and there was no humiliating post on Chang from Kent, so I had a week to figure a few things out.

Or at least for a night I had an entire week to figure that out. I mean, Tara, right? And our Sunday morning coffees.

"Ah, Zoomie roomie, a few of the guys want to stop by tomorrow night to watch Monday Football. Um, it's the season opener or something. Are you up for that, Zoomie?"

"You were loud last night with Jacob, Tara."

"Well, you were the one who crawled into my bed just as Jacob was taking me doggie, so stop being scared about those fuzzy thoughts in your head and sleep in your own bed. I promise, as the mother hen of the house, no one will slip into your bedroom until you're ready, Zoomie. But wow, right? I mean, can Jacob have his own reality TV show or what? I mean, you peeked, right Zoomie?"

"Well, it was all right there and all, but it was a clear tutorial that it's better for girls than for guys."

"Yet, all of those T-Girls on Chang manage to wake up every morning after somehow, so it can't be that bad, but wow, right? I mean, Jacob didn't even slow down when you suckled on me. I mean, LOL, he may not have even seen you slip under me, but maybe he did and maybe he liked it, right?"

"Fine, it looked great and pleasuring, happy now?"

Stupid female roomie issues and stupid Sunday morning conversations over coffee and stupid T-Girls on Chang who do seem to live through it all!

"By the way Zoomie roomie (kiss, kiss), he liked it, especially when you rolled and propped up your surrender flag so he had a target. LOL, I liked it too because I don't need to be pregnant right now and I like my sheets dry, so thanks Zoomie (kiss, tongue, kiss). I mean, wow, would Kent be pissed off about that or what? Anyways, I have a busy day, so expect four tomorrow night, but plan on feeding up to six, alright? Kiss, kiss."

Stupid mother hen roomie issues! I mean, fine, I was there and things look liked they all fit together nicely and there were all these wet sounds and the roomie was panting and whimpering and Jacob slapped me on the side of hips a few times and all I could think of was, well, my mind seemed to be blank, so I released Tara's boob and propped up for him, I mean, fine, I did it, so sue me!

"Anyways Zoomie, seeing how you have to wash your Delicates and all today, right?"

Stupid Sunday morning laundry day!

"Hey. Zoomie, before I head out. Where are we on roomie dares?"

"Ah, nowhere, I guess. I mean, huh?"

"Well, you had the nerve to crawl into my bed last night after you changed into a thong that you should never wear, even though your cheeks agree with a thong, so what if I dare you to wear bike shorts tomorrow night during the game? And only bike shorts with no cover up? Huh?"

"Um, ah, not just yet Tara, alright?"

"Fine, dare number one on hold, for now. See you, Zoomie."

Stupid roomie dares that come way too soon in the living arrangements! And stupid stores that are open on Sunday's!

"Um, well, these will be perfect for you, but you know, maybe a skirt or a long t-shirt to cover things up? I mean, it's your call, but here at Gary's Sex Clothing, we offer all of customers a way out."

"Well, there are some people coming over tomorrow night and there a ball game on and my roomie laid out her first dare and all."

"Oh, so your roomie is a "she", huh? Well, let sales person Frankie show you a few things, like these very long sports logo jerseys for example. I mean, do you know who is playing and does your roomie like body harnesses?"

"Oh, um, the red jersey team is visiting the white jersey team and my roomie would probably love a nice body harness, but only if you have full leotards for her to wear under it. Also, only if the body harness has hoops on it that I can use to chain her to bed or the basement wall."

"LOL well, let's not go that far, but we'll throw in a throat collar with one hoop on it just for fun. Alright then, how about a long black sports logo jersey to match these very risky black bike shorts and are you single?"

"Wow, ah, wow, Frankie! Um, what?"

"Relax, I was just asking, Zoomie. Anyways, how about a nice nude colored leotard for your roomie to spice up the game and can I attend this game watch party tomorrow night?"

"Um, Ok, nude and maybe a black one and um, wow, ah, I had hard wood floors installed all throughout my house."

"LOL, alright then, so you're clearly not ready for me, I get it, so, will there be anything else today?"