Paganmoon

Hi, I'm Gabby from North Carolina. Please don't contact me if: 1) You are a green-eyed , brown-haired, muscular athlete. Every guy seems to be that here ... Its like a club for green-eyed Adonis' .... Fake and tiresome. And why are you always called Mike, Kyle or Ryan? . 2) You are just back from the gym. Again, boring, plus the idea that you smell like a combination of sweaty balls, ass, underarms, gym socks and sneakers is not attractive 3) If you are in the shower - how the hell are you not being electrocuted with your PC/Laptop in there with you, or getting your cellphone ruined under the water. Do cellphone screens even type when wet? 4) If you describe yourself as a 'sissy' - just not my thing 5) If you intend to "whip out a 'monster cock,' throw me on the bed and bang bang bang cum' within three lines of meeting... At least attempt to seduce me into your ideas. 6) if you claim to have said monster cock....get real with yourself. In any case, average proportions are fine. 7) If you end every line with 'lol'... I'm here to enjoy chatting, not engage in your clowny clown-time..put away the big shoes, red nose and comedy car. Plus you sound about fifteen when you use 'lol' 'u' 'ur' and such. Stay away! 8)If you talk about nibbling everything. I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a hungry sniffling rodent 9)if you go straight in for sex. Its not realistic that I'd suddenly be naked and on the verge of an orgasm after you 'honk honk' my breasts within three lines of chatting Enjoy the build up, its more satisfying! 10)if you want to do things in a hot tub...no thank you, I'm not into sitting in a tepid soup of dead skin cells, stale ejaculate and butt crumbs. 11) If you think I'm waiting here dressed in lingerie and high heels on a bed of rose petals, sorry to disappoint, I'm usually taking a break from household chores and dressed as such. 12) The words "inner thighs" - they make me imagine a cooked chicken. 13) If you want to know the weather, look out of your window, and the time.. look it up 14) How is it that everyone I chat with has lived in Raleigh at some point? Are you really here to discuss geography? 15) If you ask 'What are you up to?' as your opening question - erm, what do you think I'm up to on a sex chat site? Feeding the penguins at the zoo?