Jesamil

Current Form: https://imgur.com/a/AXFMeqF

My name is Jesamil Pendragon and I am the child of the angel Marco and demon Lash. I am a nephilim that takes on many forms, each of which I have obtained through various trials in my life so far. The biggest of which has been loving again.

“If you got my back in my darkest hours, I've got yours the rest of your life.” - John Wayne

“The law of alchemy is Equivalent Exchange.” - Edward Elric

How does one describe equivalent exchange? Simple. Something of equal value is traded for what it is you desire. This applies to all things. Love, passion, existence as a whole. I have given up a great deal and I have gained just as much, even if I do not always realize it. The pendulum always swings, such is inevitable. In the grander whole of it all, there is balance.

I am far older than I seem, but that is another complex topic. I have lived through countless things, and do not feel as though I fit in this current era. The world as it stands, filled with those who quit and those who think but do not enact, is not where I belong. I am the sort who believes in "yes sir/ma'am," opening doors, and firm handshakes. I am the sort who believes that a person's word is their bond, and those who cannot uphold their word? I have no time for, I bear scars from a hard life, both self-inflicted and not. Those scars assisted in making me who I am, but they do not define me.

I have a soul-deep fascination with storms and all their terrifying beauty. I am not talking the small spring showers. I am talking about the great and powerful storms of mid-summer. Those kind that rattle the very foundations of structures, and have the potential to knock you off your feet. What does one do when struck by such a storm? Weather it, savor nature's fury and learn. Pick yourself back up after the storm shatters your shelter and press onward. What storms have I weathered? There are far too many to list, and perhaps in time I shall divulge them to you, should you gain my trust.

I refuse to be forced into a mold. I am a creature of impulse and action, and any mold that anyone tries to shoehorn me into will be quickly and decisively shattered. The storm I mentioned earlier? It can be seen flashing in my eyes on occasion. A love of chaos, of banter and of cuddles will always reside within me, and it is reflected in that very storm. I plan on surviving a great deal more. This journey ain't over yet, friend.

I may be part angel, but I am not your Angel. I will fiercely protect myself and those I hold dear. If you should push, then I shall push back. There is and always will be a wildness in me, and it will take a very special, if yet unfound, kind of person to run with that. Do you think you can? Perhaps we shall see. Do not try to tame it, because none ever shall. Encourage it, temper it, guide it. That is paramount. I look for a pack, not someone to turn me into an obedient sheepdog. Can you run at my side, nurturing and tempering that chaotic spirit?


And also, just to make sure it is well known: I am genderfluid. This means that I change from male to female. This is part of who I am, I will make no apologies for it. Period. Regardless of my gender, I am me. Also, regardless of my gender, if you matter to me.... you matter to me. I will go to bat for anyone I consider my friend or my family. I do not care if you are the biggest, baddest person here or the meekest mouse. There is a very fitting military-inspired quote that I think fits well here:

“Stand behind me, I will protect you. Stand beside me, I will respect you. Stand against me, and I will show you no mercy.”

I know that this can seem daunting, or a lot to take in, or even confrontational. None of that is my intent. There are meanings, hidden pathways within these words. Can you walk them? Can you discover their meanings? Only time shall tell. I am open to answering questions, should you take the time to ask them.

A personal reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN7I4NDsc7A