Back a few decades ago, a man was born. Literally a man. I came out of my mom’s vagina already 32 years of age with my high school diploma and two phDs in hand. Doctors were baffled when I began immediately inventing the world’s first car engine that runs solely on potato skins, right there on the hospital floor. Since then, people often look at me and say “Hey, freakboy! What’s it like being a freak?!” I just smile and walk on down the road naked as the day I was born. Anyway, all that shit was a lie. Actually, most of what I’m writing down in the rest of this profile is a lie as well. The truth is, when I was a little boy, about 3, my family was poor. To mitigate some of the financial strain on my parents, I had to shower with my dad, a great man and not AT ALL gay. That’s fine with me, but one of my first memories was what I saw in this shower many times since up until the age of around 6-7. My dad’s lap hog. And he wasn’t a groomer either, people. Noooo way. He was a man of the 60s and early 70s. Full bush! A sight so disturbing to me, so grotesque, that to this day, I cannot explain my fascination and unending desire for cock. I mean pussy is great, but my mind really is drawn to cock also. Maybe even more than pussy. I dunno. Would I bang my mom? No. Is my mom attractive? If you’re my dad, yes. If you’re her son, fuck no. Do I shave my pubes? Interesting question. Sometimes I’ll only shave half my pubes and play the game, Good Penis, Bad Penis! Occasionally, I’ll dye my pubes blue and white and play Smurfs using my penis as Gargamel! What the fuck are you still reading this idiotic blurb for? Go read a story now and think about the amount of time you just wasted reading this crap!!
Location
Eastern US