A Keen Man is Never Too Old

The skinny old man with a droopy moustache came into the dark bedroom. Parking his walking frame, 78-year-old Albert Fish slipped between the sheets snuggled up against the wool nightdress of Maggie.

"I love you Maggie," he wheezed.

"You stupid Casanova," grumbled Maud Macdonald (83). "Maggie's in the next room, but you may as well stay here now. What do you have in mind?"

"A fuck."

"What's that?"

Albert explained and finally Maud's memory triggered and she realized what he was talking about. That made her excited. She'd had her last one around forty or forty-two years ago shortly before liquored-up husband Roy was killed crossing a railway track in front of a train that apparently he'd not realized was moving.

She turned on the light and they both struggled to kick down the top sheet and light blanket.

"I'll need to be soaped up or something – I'm very dry these days, Albert darling."

"Soap – I've got 21st Century stuff," said Albert, pointing to a liter bottle of lube he'd placed on the dressing table. This should be enough."

"Then lube me, Albert," cackled Maud.

"Which is the right crack?" asked Albert, peering between her wrinkly legs.

"Probably the most central one, but does it matter? Just slosh it around and get a finger working; fingers know where to go."

It was slow going. Thirty minutes later Albert had Maud huffing and puffing. Finally she went 'Zizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Did you cum?"

"Wouldn't have a clue, but I feel as if I'm sitting on a cloud."

"That's either a genuine ejaculation or you're deceived your mind into thinking you've had one, which is called a phantom ejaculation. I reckon it doesn't really matter at your age which type it is because we're not trying to conceive."

"Conceive what?"

"Children."

"Oh, how many?"

"I'll try to give you as many as you want, Maud – but no promises," leered Albert.

Maud felt something pressing into her bony thigh and reached for it.

"Oh glory be," she cried. "You can still get it stiff at the age of one hundred."

"Seventy-eight actually," Albert said proudly, aware that with Maud's warm hand around his dick it was getting extra backbone.

"Should I put it in and see how we go?"

"Yes please."

Forty-eight minutes later and after three pit stops for more lube, Albert felt his well-seasoned and these days much smaller nuts begin to tighten.

"I'm beginning to cum," he said proudly.

"Come where?"

"Blast huge dollops of cum into your hole, silly."

"Oh. I don't really know if I want that stinking stuff pumped in there. There's no need for it really."

Albert worried that this negative feedback might bring sag to his dick.

"It's good for my ego to be able to fill a women's twat with cum."

"Oh, in that case you better proceed. You must have spent a lot on that lube."

"Nah – Nurse Jenkins supplies it. She dons a rubber glove and jerks off any of the men who want a thrill. But she and I do it proper."

"Nurse Jenkins does this with you – but she's only a slip of a girl?"

"She'd eighteen and wants to gain experience.

"According to her young bucks have a dozen thrusts and it's then goodnight nurse. My record with her for one fuck from start to ejaculation is one-forty."

"That's quick."

"One hour, forty minutes, silly."

"Oh Albert – if only I'd met you sixty years ago. We could have been making love all through the night."

Bang! That did it.

Albert heaved and grunted and finally discharged his biggest shot into an older woman (they tend to lie still with their eyes closed and mouths clenched shut) – it was probably a quarter of a teaspoon.

After resting Albert slipped out of bed and stepped inside his walking frame.

"Good night, dear."

"Good night Albert. You are welcome to be with me every night."

Keeping two women going was a bit tough on Albert, but Nurse Jenkins persuaded the dietician to increase nourishment for Albert who everyone could see was losing weight.

That did the trick. Without three weeks he was scurrying about on his walking frame being quite a menace. Nurse Jenkins found better nourishment was increasing his sperm flow and she purchased a supply of sex enhancement pills off the Internet and Albert began thrusting her to new heights in ecstasy.

Maud was also benefiting, looking forward to Albert's nightly visit. Albert had her between 9:00 and 10:00 and he'd shower and go off to sleep, to be awoken at 6:00 next morning by the Nurse Jenkins slipping nude between the sheets five times a week.

Albert was very proud of his performance, but the crowning moment came when he was passing Maud's children outside her room one afternoon and heard one of them say: "The doctor can't explain mom's revival – he says her breathing rate has improved and her circulation has improved beyond recognition."

"Yes said her youngest daughter. Mom looks ten years younger than when she came into this place three months ago. Their care-giving is magnificent."

Albert eyed that daughter wondering if he should befriend her. She often came in alone and her overweight husband seemed to show no affection for her. He'd heard Maud call her Susan.

"Hullo Susan," he said, smiling, and ignoring the others around her.

"Oh hullo," said Susan, breaking away and coming over to Albert. You must be Mr Fish. Mom is talks about you frequently. She made the oddest remark the other day when I was talking about a personal problem of neglect. She said Albert Fish would be a tonic for me.

"Can you explain what she meant?"

"I think she's taking about sex, Susan."

Susan blushed and said hush. She then invited Albert to walk with her out in the garden.

"You are wearing lovely perfume, Susan."

She blushed again.

"I think I could get to rather like you, you foxy old man."

She giggled and watched fascinated as Albert licked his lips, looking straight at her 54-year-old bust.

"I need to sit down, Albert," she whispered unsteadily.