Low

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demure101
demure101
211 Followers

Low

Patches of blue, and patches of cloud
and lots of birds – the crows are loud;
there's sun on your face and light in your hair
and a smile in your eyes as you breathe in the air
                 ascending the ridge.

Up and away to the bare, pointed peak
to the sense of real freedom, the joy that you seek -
You look just the way you're dear to me
and you pant from the climb and I glad I can see
                 you're enraptured.

      Still, in my mind you're there across the room
      examining your hands. They're old, you say,
      the veins, the texture – but that is not the point.
      What matters is that we have not been young
      together yet, since you will not believe
      you're more than beautiful to me and so
      you never gave me any chance to break
      through your defences. Is it that I am
      not worth the try, not good enough to let
      those barriers down? You say you're getting old.
      Well, so am I. So what? Your eyes, that smile
      will hurt, the more so since we never try
      to chase away the sense of pressing time,
      too finite, too uncaring, closing in...

The sun retreats. Before grey sky
squalls of pale rain come hurrying by.
Your face gets drawn, mood black as ink,
the rapture's gone and my heart sinks –
                 Drear cold's on my back
                 and there's clouds descending
                 from Cribyn.

demure101
demure101
211 Followers
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DawnJDawnJover 11 years ago
Low indeed!

From the high of a beautiful day to the low of night, from the high of remembered joy to the low of her black mood, you've made us see and feel the emotions that take us from the opening high of the poem to the crashing low of its end! I like the form, as well.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 11 years ago
Dear Ms Demure,

I'm sorry i'm too ignorant to differentiate between buried & unburied sonnets but this poem is an amalgam between Nature & interaction between Human emotions which as a Human lover/student i highly appreciated ! Very good & keep it up , please .

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
IF SHE CHANGES THIS MUCH

why would you have attachments for her, TK U MLJ LV NV

buttersbuttersover 11 years ago
APOLOGIES!!

demure, not desejo

reading you both i confused the names. it won't happen again. x

buttersbuttersover 11 years ago
:eekemote:

bloody hell, 12er, i totally missed that about the buried sonnet (embarrasses), my only excuse being i was so tied up in the opening that ... scratch that, there's no excuse. apologies, desejo :flower: ooh, perhaps it's a good thing i missed your sonneteering, so adeptly hid amongst the words as to render it 'invisible'? damn, not very good at politics, am i? :p

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