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Click here‘The limerick’s an art form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It’s famous for virgins
And masculine urgin’s
And vulgar, erotic effects’
Rupert Hart-Davies
AUSSIE LIMERICKS (21 - 40)
There was a young lady fromArdmona
Whose man, when he's hard likes to phone her
And then as they chat
He’ll do this and then that
She’s found out that he’s really a loner
There was a young lady fromAshfield
Whose charms made men quickly yield
All those she had known
Gave up with a groan
As the skin down their cocks she unpeeled
There was a young lady fromAranda
To her love's every whim would pander
His needs quite sadistic
Met hers masochistic
And as praise he'd often back-hand her
There was a young lady fromArarat
Whose love is a drum playing acrobat
She finds he's inclined
When she's lying supine
With his prick down her spine go ratatat
There was a young lady fromAscot
From eating baked beans too much gas got
Found the nastiest part
Not the smell of the farts
But the force of its pass made her arse hot
There was a young lady fromAvalon
Being sexually free was oft put upon
Men flocked to her doors
In dozens and scores
They came - then they came - then were gone
There was a young lady fromAvoca
Had a long love affair with a poker
It was beautifully long
So hard and so strong
And with wet stuff never did soak her
There was a young lady fromBacchus Marsh
Made a sketch of Caracas in gouache
She'd a thing about Brits
Wore wode on both tits
And pig’s fat to stiffen her moustache
There was a young lady fromBalgowlah
During sex proved to be a loud howler
Disturbing the neighbours
With her raucous capers
So they built a brick wall all around her
There was a young lady fromBalmoral
Whose life-style was really immoral
Took the vicar in hand
The choir on the sand
And as for the bishop - well oral
There was a young lady fromBanksia
Found her man wearing clothes that were fancier
Than what she had bought
And thought that he ought
To lend some, if he truly did fancy her
There was a young lady from Bankstown
Whose hair hung in very long lanks down
The backs of her thighs
Which often gave rise
To knots - when she screwed with it let down
There was a young lady fromBarton
Kept strange gifts from her love in a carton
Brief panties of lace
Masks for her face
And a bra' in a loud Scottish tartan
There was a young lady fromBatman
Who'd gone out for years with a fat man -
‘While he's not a real stud
I'm a stick in the mud
And it saves me from choosing this or that man’
There was a young lady fromBelconnen
Has for years by her man been downtrodden
Which becomes very plain
When they fuck in the rain
And her clothes get totally sodden
There was a young lady fromBeaufort
Into sex put not too much effort
It was known that she'd say
As she placidly lay -
‘It's O.K. - but I like coming in comfort’
There was a young lady fromBega
For frolics and such was quite eager
But from her lonely bed
Quite sadly had said -
‘The pickings around here are too meagre’
There was a young lady fromBell
Did things too unpleasant to tell
With a sheep and a goat
And a long knotted rope
If you can imagine it - well...!
There was a young lady fromBelmore
Her fame was the odd clothes she wore
A see-through black sack
Little front and less back
But a panel that trailed on the floor
There was a young lady fromBelrose
Would nude, each day by her gate pose
Enticing each boy
And smiling with joy
At the cocks, as they passed, that arose
Sorry, these are really poor... The syllable count (obviously crucial to performance) is all over the place; the grammatical inversion is tortured to the point of illogic; and most of them aren't even properly filthy!
2/10, must try harder