Lisa walked into my study to find me staring at a blank Wordpad screen.

"Still struggling?" she said after kissing me on the neck and dropping into the armchair by the window.

She'd been out jogging. Sweat still glistened on her bronze skin, and her long blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail. Her sports bra accentuated her large, full breasts and her running shorts rode up a bit. She was only 5'1", but in bed she was a giant...

She read over my shoulder, "' bed she was a giant?'" She snorted. "What, like I take a corset off when I go to bed or something?" She reached over my shoulder and deleted the lines. "Blocked, honey?"

"These things were supposed to be outlet valves so my other writing went more smoothly," I said. "I didn't think they'd be hard to write."

She laughed. "They're not hard for you to write. You just keep slipping into parody."

I shook my head. "I tend to think of it as homage."

"Homage, parody. Whatever. What was with that last one? It didn't even have an ending."

"That's why the working title was 'Lady or the Tiger?'"

"Ah." Lisa lit a cigarette before offering the pack to me. I waved her off.

"Anyway," I said, "the parody element isn't intentional. It just sort of happens when I think too hard about the scenario."

Lisa crossed her legs and blew a smoke ring at me. "I don't know. A guy's zaftig goddess of a daughter stands up naked and dripping from the bathtub and says 'Daddy, do you think I'm fat?' That's got to be intentional. Even if it's subconsciously intentional."

I leaned back in my chair. "You may be right."

She laughed. "You've read too much porn, seen too many movies. Once you question the absurdity of some of the conventions, you're doomed. Or doomed to figure out ways to write about those absurdities. Look, honey, give me a scenario. A standard scenario."

"What category?"

She stretched and then ground out her cigarette in an ashtray before responding. "Hmm. How about incest/taboo?"

"OK. Horny father sees his college-age daughter sunbathing topless at the pool."

"Good. That happens all the time. Now, being the upstanding citizen he is, he immediately wanders out to the pool in his swim trunks. He startles his daughter, who tries to cover up..."

"His 19-year-old drop-dead gorgeous blonde daughter with 36D breasts..."

"Well, sure, if he's a breast man. Dad feigns surprise when he sees her and says, 'Oh, honey, I'm sorry. But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable sunbathing topless...'"

"So he takes off his swim trunks, revealing an enormous erection. Then he looks down and feigns surprise at the erection. His daughter, attempt to cover up forgotten, stares at his cock, mouth gaping."

"Perfect!" She lit another cigarette and blew a couple more smoke rings before continuing. "Now, this guy's sexy 19-year-old daughter turns out to have never seen a penis before."

"Oh, that's good!"

"Yes, it is. So she says to her father, 'Daddy, I suddenly feel very strange looking at your beautiful, disturbing penis, if indeed 'penis' is the name for the mountainous growth between your two legs.'"

"And he says, 'Well, honey, that's because you need more suntan lotion on because you're in danger of developing sun stroke!'"

Lisa laughed. "Exactly. 'OK, Daddy," she says as she starts to roll over, exposing the two perfect tanned globes of her ass."

"The father says, 'No, honeybun. You need more suntan lotion on your breasts.' He picks up a bottle of lotion and walks over to stand above her."

"She says, 'Um, OK, Daddy, but I sure do feel funny. Maybe it is because I have never seen a penis before.'"

I laughed. "He says, 'Well, honey, if it would make you feel better, why don't you touch my penis?'"

Lisa said, "She says, 'Smashing idea...'"

"'Smashing idea?' What, suddenly she's British?"

"Sorry. 'Yes, Daddy, if you think that touching your penis would be normal and perfectly OK, I would indeed like to touch it.'"

"Daddy smiles reassuringly at her. 'Of course, pumpkin, it would be fine.'"

Lisa said, "The daughter reaches out and tentatively touches her father's cock. It's the largest cock she's ever seen."

I shook my head. "She's never seen another one, remember."

"Oh, right. Even in pictures? Yeah, yeah, OK. Well, it's a huge cock, as thick as a can of soda and twice as long. The balls are as big as tennis balls and attractively shaved. As soon as she touches it, she's filled with lust. No, she actually cums when she touches it, soaking her swimsuit bottom with her delicate sexual juices."

I nodded, typing frantically. "'Oh, Daddy,' she says, still quivering from her sudden orgasm, 'I'm not sure I should touch it any more.' She withdraws her hand."

Lisa frowned, deep in thought. "Her father says, 'Well, honey, why don't you just touch it with your lips? Maybe that would be OK.'"

"The daughter looks puzzled. 'Um, OK, Daddy.' Then she sits up and tentatively takes the head of his cock into her mouth."

"Good. Now we have several paragraphs in which the father educates her on how to give a blow job."

"Good, good." I typed in silence for awhile. "Finally, overcome with lust, he pulls out of her mouth and ejaculates all over her gigantic, perky, perfect breasts."

"Right. Oh, her boobs have nipples the size and approximate color of gold doubloons."


"Doubloons. With baby carrots erupting from them."

"You're the boss."

She smiled. "And then the father immediately gets hard again, so quickly and violently that his penis slaps up against his stomach with a full, meaty sound, like a baseball bat made of meat hitting a ball made of meat."

"That's some hard-on. And his daughter says..."

Lisa thought for a second. "Um. Licking her lips, his daughter says, 'That's the best suntan lotion a daughter ever had, Daddy!'"

I rubbed my chin. "Not bad."

"Are you getting all this down?"

"My fingers are dancing as fast as they can. OK, what now?"

"Hmm." Lisa stretched again. "OK, filled with sexual energy, the father lies on a towel on the pool deck. He instructs the daughter to take off her swimsuit bottom."

"It's a white thong."

"OK, thong. And it's ridden way up and soaked in her maidenly orgasmic juices, so it takes a minute to extract it and get it off. She has a perfectly clean-shaved pussy."

I kept typing. "It's the most perfect thing he's ever seen."

Lisa nodded. "Of course it's the most perfect thing he's ever seen. Indeed, he gasps and nearly faints, his head swimming when he sees this perfect pussy. He's been traumatized for years by his wife's hairy pussy and by her refusal to let him cum on her breasts, and now all at once all his dreams have been realized on one perfect, sun-drenched afternoon."

"The daughter says, 'Oh, Daddy, I don't know that we should do this.'"

Lisa pursed her lips. "But suddenly she trips and falls right on his penis. He accidentally penetrates her right to the hilt of his cock. They both gasp!"

"And start screwing like rabbits."

"Right. The daughter is completely filled by the enormous cock, and cums almost immediately, screaming, 'Yes, Daddy! Oh!' But she's a trouper, so she keeps fucking him. His daughter's pussy is tight but well-lubricated, so the father is terribly excited as well. They grunt and groan and thrash. Periodically, the father sucks on the daughter's nipples or the two of them gaze longingly into each other's light-blue eyes, perfectly content for the first time in either of their lives."

"We need something to pump this up at this point."

"In between thrusts and grunts, the father reveals his fantasy of nursing at his daughter's boobs, of tasting her sweet breast milk. 'Ah,' he cries, 'if only you had just had a child!' She responds by sharing her fantasy of being impregnated by him. 'Oh, Daddy, if only I weren't on the Pill so that your cum could find purchase within my virgin womb!' They grunt and thrash some more."

I raised a hand. "Why is the virginal daughter who's never seen a penis on the pill?"

Lisa snapped her fingers. "Acne control."

"OK." I typed some more. "OK, what else?"

Lisa sat and thought for a second before responding. "Ah. Unbeknownst to the two of them as they satiate their lust, the daughter's twin brother has been watching all this from his bedroom window. He too is overcome with lust at the sight of his gorgeous sister and well-hung father going at it."

"Fraternal twin?"

Lisa laughed. "Unless this is a story about cloning or something, they've got to be fraternal, right? Can't have identical twins of different genders."

"Oh, right. Unless one had a sex change."

Lisa rubbed her chin. "Hmm. Sex change. No, let's leave that for the sequel. So anyway, the 19-year-old brother is overcome with lust because he wanted to sleep with his sister."

"Indeed, just the past month he drilled a hole through the wall separating their bedrooms so he could surreptitiously watch her dress and undress."

"Bingo. And every once in awhile he stuck his cock through the hole while she was sleeping and spunked all over the pile of used panties that was conveniently stacked up directly below the hole in the wall that his sister never noticed.

I typed faster. "That's terrific. Really good."

"Now, he's filled with lust. His cock is longer than his father's but not as thick."

"Maybe he'll fill out."

Lisa laughed. "Right. Anyway, he looks out the window and then down at his cock, which he's generously lubed up so he can jack off. He's naked. He's a bronze Adonis. He thinks a bit and then runs naked downstairs and out to the pool."

"Ah. Nice."

"The father and daughter are locked into their own world as she goes up and down on him. Suddenly, she yelps and then moans with ecstasy as her brother's lube-slick cock enters her ass from behind."

I was trying to catch up on the keyboard. "Sorry -- from behind?"

"Well, how else?"

"Oh, right."

"Anyway, the three are shocked at first, but they're all so filled with sexual energy that they almost immediately start fucking again. Several paragraphs of fucking ensue with the three in every possible combination."

"Including father-son?"

"Yeah. The two men have suddenly discovered that they're both bisexual. Finally, after a lot of cumming on the part of all parties, they end up with the brother cumming in his sister's pussy while the father blows his load in her mouth. Then they collapse exhausted and sweaty on the pool deck, bodies intertwined."

I finished typing. "Hmm. Then what?"

Lisa rubbed her chin. "How about, the father then lifts his weary head from his daughter's cum-covered bosom..."


"Sorry, boobs. Cum-covered boobs. And he says, "Now let's all go for ice cream!"

I sat and thought about it. "Or how about then the mother walks into the pool area, looks at the naked bodies lying there, and says, 'Now that's what I call a sticky situation!'

Lisa nodded. "And then she tears off her clothes and starts sucking her son's cock while the father does her from behind and the brother eats out the sister.

"Shouldn't the three of them be exhausted? I mean, sure, the mother probably is ready to go."

"They're overcome with lust."

"Right. Right." I typed some more. "So more fucking ensues and then the four of them collapse in a heap. The End?"

Lisa shook her head and lit another cigarette. "Of course not. They lie there entangled in a cum-covered heap when suddenly, there's a knock at the pool door."

"Aha. Pizza delivery?"

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "When did they have time to call for pizza?"

"You're right, that's totally unrealistic. So who is it?"

"Hmm." Lisa got up and paced around. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers and sat down again with a look of triumph on her face. "OK, the mother's a gorgeous blonde high school teacher. And in the house next door lives a former student who's now a 20-year-old college basketball player."


"Hmm. Yeah, that's fine. He's always had the hots for the mother. And he's just watched this whole performance. So he walks into the pool area, all six-foot-eight of him, naked except for a massive smile and an even more massive hard-on. Seeing him, the mother scrambles over and starts giving him a blow-job while her exhausted family watches. But his cock's so big that the mother needs help, so the daughter also goes over to supply coverage."

"How big is this cock?"

"Monolithic. It's got its own gravity well around it. Light bends trying to go around this cock."

"That's a big cock."

"Yep. Aroused by the sight of this, the father and son start going at it, taking turns as top. The next-door neighbor is fucking the daughter anally while he simultaneously eats out the mother."

I stopped typing.

"Problem?" Lisa said.

"Just trying to envision...OK, I got it."

"Good. Hmm. Suddenly, there's another knock at the pool door."

"OK, who is it this time?"

"It's...the father's bisexual mistress, who had let herself into the house and has watched much of this production from one of the bedroom windows."

"Why would she let herself into the house?"

"Hmm. Because she's the father's 35-year-old half-sister who's into BDSM."

I paused. "Yeah, that works." I started typing again.

"She comes into the pool area in full bondage gear, complete with one strap-on attached and a second in her hand. Her breasts with their elegantly pierced nipples stand up proud, huge and erect from her leather peekaboo bustier, and her beautiful bald head..."

"Bald head?"

"Bald, mocha-colored head. She and her brother share the same white mother, but her father was a famous African-American athlete who had a one-night stand with their mother while their father was out of town at a Baptist ministers' convention. Anyway, this gorgeous, smooth, cafe au lait head glistens in the afternoon sun, as does the strap-on and all the white leather she's wearing. Everyone stops fucking, awed by her appearance. And she says..."

"'Don't stop on account of me.'"

Lisa nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. So now they form up into a giant daisy-chain. The daughter puts on the extra strap-on and starts fucking her dad up the ass. He groans in pleasure as he enters his half-sister, who in turn starts fucking the son up the ass with her strap-on while the son screws his mother from behind while she blows the basketball player. And then..."

"There's a knock on the door?"

"Yeah. Because unbeknownst to everyone there, the basketball team and the cheerleading squad of the college the ex-student attends have been watching this performance from the former student's living room. And now, overcome with lust..."

I stopped typing. "Lisa?"


"Leave something for the sequel."

She nodded. "Yeah, but we haven't even got to the part where the sexually curious hermaphroditic aliens land in the pool. Or when the principal of the school who's also a sexually frustrated werewolf shows up because he's got the dates wrong and thinks today is the staff barbecue the mother is hosting."


She nodded. "You're right. Want to go for some ice cream?"

I saved the file and shut down the computer before answering. "Yeah, but only if we get into a sticky situation after."

She grinned and licked her lips. "I can think of a few things."


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