Changes Ch. 02byAmeaner©
All kinds of questions about everything, starting from where I was raised, about my parents, what church they brought me to, what they fed me, my siblings, my school experiences and grades, questions about my friends there, girlfriends, when I lost my virginity, my first job, when I left home and why, etc..
And I stood there answering them, too. I told the truth because I knew she was building a portrait of my personality and she'd know if I fudged on a few details here and there. People who do this kind of thing are generally well trained in psychology and I began to suspect more and more that she was. Lying really wasn't a safe option.
Then she wanted to know about everywhere I'd been up to then, every province, city or town, why I settled there, what I did there, who I knew, girlfriends, vocations, when and why I left.
Again, I honestly answered these and any questions of clarification she had until she finally had no more and at last allowed me to sit, my dick still hard as I allowed myself to look more and more often at her body when I had the chance, hating myself for it every time.
After getting up to get herself another drink, she returned, sitting across from me again and regarding me seriously before speaking.
"You see? What's so hard about just doing what you're told? You've done very well with that little interview and now I feel I know you a lot better. I know it embarrasses you to have to stand there naked in front of me, but it was for your own good. You see, men are so good at hiding behind their clothes. That's why the saying, 'The clothes don't make the man'. A woman probably came up with it, a pity you men don't take it more seriously. I suppose it's not really your fault, though, you've been left to run yourselves in this world for so long, it's not surprising you'd do this to yourselves, that you'd come to what most of you are. You're an especially sad case. Look at you, you're still as hard as ever, still so hot for me, even though you hate me. Yes, I know you do. Nevertheless, I accept you as my submissive. I'm even quite happy to have you, and before I satisfy myself with your cock, I'm going to lay things out for you."
She shifted, getting a little more comfortable while my anxiety level climbed the walls for the ceiling.
"It didn't have to be the hard way. You tried to fight me, you couldn't accept my domination of you, couldn't accept that you have nothing left to fight with. Your problem, pet, is that you're used to running from your problems. Yes, once all of the little preparations and barriers you erect between yourself and the circumstances that could spoil your selfish little world are battered down, you run. You had very little fight in you to begin with. It's true, isn't it? You can't even stay settled in the same city for three years without wanting to run from all those pesky little hazards and responsibilities that come with sooner or later coming to know people. Look at the string of failed relationships that you yourself sabotaged in the end because, deep down, you knew you'd sooner or later be gone rather than face up to some commitment, some problem. By your own doing, you're no more than a hunted animal. I see it in your eyes and I always did. You're a mess, boy. And you thought you could fight me? Exactly what did you think you had to fight with, your stupid pride?"
She paused to laugh at this point while I bit back certain suggestions that, if voiced, would most likely get me beaten to a pulp or imprisoned. At least my erection was finally going away. The worst of it was that I again had no defense for this, again knowing that it was all true and that I'd been ignoring that ugly fact for the last ten years. However, that didn't mean I needed her to throw it in my face.
"Do you know what you are to me?" she casually asked. "You're some scruffy, mangy, flea bitten little coyote that somebody mistook for a dog and abandoned at the animal shelter. I rescued you from the needle that someone would have surely given you at some point. But you should never forget that you played your own part in this as well. You placed your fate in my very hands the moment you came through my front door this evening. You had a choice to make and you chose me, it doesn't matter that you made that choice under duress, the fact is that you've willingly submitted yourself to me and you knew you would, knew it all the way over here and you knew it as you knocked on my door. Be honest with yourself about that, at least. Accept the fact that those moments out in that hall were the very last moments of existence for the man you knew as yourself."
"And if you're honest with yourself, you'll see that you're better off. Yes, you are. You have nobody, boy. Nobody wants you and nobody gives a shit about you because you keep everyone at arm's length. You even tried to keep me at arm's length, the only friend you have in the world, the one person who does care about you enough to not let you run, even though you don't know well enough to appreciate me. Yet."
She rose from her seated position and looked down at me, still driving her demeaning points into my mind and slowly opening her blouse further, showing more of her bra. (DD-cup?)
"You are now my pet. You are my boy. You are my toy, my ragged little coyote and I am your life. From this time on, your purpose is to be whatever serves me. I own you, David, and you aren't running anywhere because your running days are over.
Once again, she was more or less right in the things she said about me. I closed my eyes and looked into my lap while my erection came back yet again and my shoulders slouched. I somehow felt a little shorter then, a little smaller and a lot more helpless.
"Yes, that's good." she approved. "You're beginning to accept your situation now and the more you do that, the better things will be for you."
She paused, watching me as she stepped a little closer.
"I know you're new to my lifestyle, that you don't understand and how much you hate me for this, but in time you'll come to feel different about it, about me. You'll even thank me. Oh yes, you'll worship the very ground that I walk on and there won't be a damned thing you wouldn't do for me, simply to please me. In time, you'll thank me for saving you from yourself and you will love me. Just the thought of life without me will be almost impossible for you to bear."
The room was silent for a short time before I broke it to ask in a voice just above a whisper, "Why? Do you really hate me that much? As much as all this?"
"Hate you?" she asked in surprise.
Dagmar smiled, almost sympathetically and eased herself into my lap, taking my chin in her hand and making me look at her again.
"Heavens no, pet. If I hated you I'd have just thrown you to the wolves right away. Oh no, I don't hate you at all, it's not like that. True, your rotten attitude at work has angered me many times and continued to bring you to my attention after the first time I saw you in the classroom, but that's one of the things that convinced me that you'd make such a nice pet for me, that you had such potential. Desperate strays always do make the best pets, you know. So appreciative after one wins their trust, you see. Oh, I was veeery patient, waiting for you to deliver yourself somehow, worrying that you'd run off down the highway again in that foolish looking penis extender you drive." she said, stroking my once again fully erect phallus with a light fingertip.
I jumped at her touch and she leaned in to shove her breasts in my face with her evil smile.
"In fact,... in ways you don't understand right now, I adore you. Once I'm through with you, you'll be my perfect subbie. Ah, Mistress Tonia will be soooo jealous after sticking that worthless little turdball she calls a submissive in my face for the last two years."
"Um, Mistress?" I shakily asked with her tits in my face, her smiling down at me.
"You,... You could have just asked me if I'd like to go for a coffee with you or something. I would have."
She broke out laughing at this while looking at me with an ever hungrier expression.
"Would you like to have an orgasm this evening?" she asked, stroking my shaft expertly now as I went almost wild trying to control myself.
"Omigod!" I replied, closing my eyes and trying not to enjoy her skilled touch.
"Watch this, boy, and answer me, do you want to cum?"
"A-aahh! Mistress! Oh-"
"Beg me to fuck you!"
"You know you want me, beg you little bastard!"
"P-pleeease, Mistress, fuck me!"
Dagmar pulled her panties aside, showing me her shaved, glistening wet pussy and moved forward, rising on her knees and pointing me at her ready opening.
"Suck my nipples! Suck 'em, boy!"
I hauled her cups down, spilling both of her big tits out and began sucking at one of her nipples, fondling her other breast and flicking my thumb across that nipple over and over as I suddenly felt the head of my cock at her lips. She then rammed herself down on me, crudely impaling herself and making both of us yell. She ground around in my lap, ordering me back to her nipples through clenched teeth, her beautiful red lips sneering in the pleasure one gets from finally scratching a deep itch.
"Ohh, fuck! Oh my god!" I wailed between nipples.
She was an animal, grunting and howling, squealing and yelping as she began to hammer herself as best as she could on the soft couch. I started thrusting up into the bitch as she came down, both of us now smashing each other's pelvis, although it was pretty clear who was fucking who.
"Harder!" She ordered, grabbing the hair at the back of my head in her fist and forcing my face to her breasts as she fingered her clit. "Fffuck! Fuck, yeah! Fucktoy!"
Incredibly, she came first, probably due to the fact that her position on top was a lot more comfortable, and because she really seemed to enjoy this form of violent sex. She hollered wordlessly at the ceiling, her voice breaking over and over until she only forcefully expelled a shout with every ragged breath, ending with a curious whine.
She squirmed in my lap after it was over, my still hard cock inside her as I moaned desperately. Her chin and neck were resting on my shoulder as her hands loosely held to the back edge of the sectional. A moment later she got off me, still breathing heavily, closing her eyes and sighing when I slipped out of her. She stumbled backwards to her seat while I looked at her wide eyed.
"You didn't tell me you wanted to cum, boy." she panted, opening her legs and sticking her hand down inside her soaked panties.
"Huhhh! I groaned, in some kind of shock. The rollercoaster had just bottomed at high speed and I could feel the car racing for a gee pulling corkscrew.
"Play with yourself, show me how you jerk off."
"Uhh?" I asked, beginning to recover as she became stern.
"I said, get yourself off. Stroke your cock and cum all over that nice chest hair for me. Now, boy."
I looked at her hand down her panties and hesitantly took myself in hand, feeling degraded and humiliated by her once again, but strangely turned on all the more for it. I began stroking myself, watching her do the same.
"Yeaaaaahhh,... Let me see you cum! Oh, yeah! Cum all over yourself, I wa- Ohhh-! I wanna see it running down your cock and all over your balls. Fuckin dirty little pervert!" she swore. "Oh! Ohhh!"
It didn't take me long to get myself off and, when I did, it was a pretty big load considering all the times I'd been hard up until then. I gushed all over my belly and chest like she wanted and felt completely filthy and denigrated. It was a pretty screwed up moment as I willingly sat there with my legs spread so she could watch my warm seamen running over my fingers. I wanted the bitch to see it, watched her face and got off on some deep level, knowing I'd pleased her by humiliating myself. I hated her with a passion. I also wanted her with the same passion.
I closed my legs and looked away as she removed her hand from the confines of the white lace between her beautiful, powerful legs.
"Ohhh, my little pet! she breathed. "You're all I knew you'd be and so much more! I'm going to fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you! I'm going to use you in ways you can't yet possibly imagine and I'm going to always enjoy the poor little expression I just saw on your face, over and over again in so many different ways! Ah, yes, your whole life has changed tonight, I've turned it upside down for you and I've only just begun. Just wait till you see what your sex life will be. Heh heh heh heeeeh!"
I covered my face with my clean hand and sat there, hearing her get up and come closer. She knocked my hand away, grabbed me by the sides of my head and forced an aggressive kiss on me, driving her tongue into my mouth. When she was finished, she roughly pushed my head away and straightened, her lipstick smeared on a smirking, satisfied, most beautiful mouth.
"Get dressed. You may go out to the balcony for a cigarette, if you wish, but do make yourself another drink. If you don't need it now, you will soon. Chop-chop, boy, and use a glass this time!, she added over her shoulder, walking away and towards the hallway again with her skirt piled around her waist, tits bouncing free.
Her ass was just perfect. How I loved her body!
I cleaned myself up, with no small amount of shame, using the tattered remnants of my shirt that still littered the floor here and there before gladly getting myself dressed in the clothes I had left. I went and retrieved my cigarettes and lighter from my coat in the entry closet on wobbly legs and then returned to the front room for that drink, which she very correctly knew I needed. Strangely, she seemed to know quite a bit about me.
Luckily, this being May in Toronto, it was plenty warm enough out there without a shirt, despite the fact that I was thirty stories up. The night breeze was warm and refreshing on my bare torso, even this sensation seemingly new and different somehow, another unique aspect of 'Dagmar World'. Gazing down at the city around me, trying to pull my head together with heavy pulls from my cigarette and glass, I suddenly wondered why in hell I'd ever come to Toronto in the first place. I never settled in large cities anymore and, of all large cities, I liked Toronto the least.
I began thinking about the things she'd said as I watched the lights of an airliner fly by about a half mile out, comparatively low at my own altitude and headed for Pearson Airport.
All those people I'd left behind,...
I looked back down and across the city lights, remembering Gary, a person I grew up with that lived two doors up in my subdivision and was my best friend for years. But people change and shit happens. He begged me to take him when I left my home town of Fredericton the last night I was there.
He was between sets at a local nightclub that he and his band were playing at and it was the first time I'd seen him in a while. I'd realized back a little ways that I was no longer of any use to him, or his ambitions, unless he needed to borrow a screwdriver, or needed help with his car, or some other self serving shit, so I wasn't particularly moved when he began relating to me what a bowl of dog snot his life was. Yeah, it was, even worse than mine, but I told him there was no room, knowing he'd only be a stumbling block, a dead weight that I could never afford to have. He swore he could travel light, but I just didn't want him along and, in the end, I was deaf to his pleas. I finished my whiskey-and-water and told him I was sorry, wishing him good luck before walking out.
I remember how free I felt walking to the car that evening, looking up at the stars in the clear, midsummer night sky and even smiling. I hit the highway and never once looked back, but only went faster.
Less than six months later, my mother telephoned me in Montreal to inform me that Gary had hung himself in a cheap motel room in Moncton where he and his band were playing the previous weekend. A few days after that, I received a letter from him in the mail, which I always saved but never opened. Weeks later, I moved to Calgary and mostly forgot about Gary and his letter as though I left them both stranded in Montreal.
Strangely, standing out on Dagmar's balcony and looking at the life below, it seemed so impossible somehow that Gary wasn't down there somewhere, walking one of those brightly lit avenues to a nightclub, hand in hand with some bar scene chick and carrying his drumstick case, both of them smiling and happy.
Somewhere down there had to be my family, too, who I ran away from as soon as I was old enough to run with a high school diploma and my first car, the now heavily modified Monza below me. I wondered if they even thought about me anymore, a little surprised to find I actually cared all of a sudden.
The women I'd known in the last decade or so, all of them having moved on, assumedly having found better men than I, were all down there as well, in some form or another. They'd be building happy, secure lives, settled lives that would pave right over top of any history that included me, plowed under once and for all by the power of the mighty 'Mr. Right'.
It seemed at that moment that I was never so alone in all my life, and never so acutely aware of the fact. I loosely pondered how it would be to fling myself over the railing in front of me. Would I find peace and freedom one last time during those fast seconds of seemingly weightless freefall? A lump formed in my throat and I suddenly found myself fighting back tears until my mouth twisted into a bitter sneer cast down at the populace. At all those who weren't there and never had any responsibility for me or what I'd become without my even noticing. It wasn't their fault, but in that moment I hated them all just the same.
"Fuck you." I mumbled acidicly. I took a drink and another drag, slowly exhaling and looking vehemently below me, adding in a slighter louder voice, "Fuck every god damned one of you!"
I flicked the cigarette butt over the railing, watching its descent until it went down too far to see the bright red cherry at the end. I had much bigger fish to fry at that point, anyway. I turned to go back inside and found Dagmar standing in the doorway, silently watching me with a look of open curiosity on her features. I froze, fixing her with a look of the hunted animal she'd accused me of being just earlier.
She'd changed into a long, navy blue cable knit sweater and skin tight black leggings. She was absolutely stunning. Just magnificent. I wondered if I wouldn't have been better off if she just happened to be some skinny, titless wonder who-
"Everything alright, boy?"
" ... Come in and sit, now."
Having just gotten off, it was a bit easier for me to keep my mind off her body and on what was happening as I sat across from her once again, wondering if she was wearing panties. (Fuck!)
I was soon also wondering what this crazy lady had done to my noodle, when she began to speak in an authoritative, businesslike tone.
"You will not bring your binder to work Tomorrow. You will not park in the staff parking lot, but by the curb at the front of the building. You will use the front entrance and will not go to a cubicle, or even remove your jacket. Your priority will be to find Sally and tender your immediate, verbal resignation. You will disregard her, or anyone else's attempts to change your mind, you will sign the release forms, return to your car and leave. You will then drive directly here-", she instructed, passing me another stickit paper with another address and time, "-where you will state your name upon arrival and where you will do as you are told. Once this business is concluded, you may have a little time to yourself."