Coming to an Understandingbyhumantouch©
Just coming out of the shower and looking into the door mirror, I grin a little bit thinking of an earlier conversation I had with my business partners. Half of the morning they were discussing shaving their junk to make them look bigger. I remember being a little annoyed, but then I shrugged it off thinking 'Whatever helps them sleep at night'. But it got me thinking, so I just tried it.
"Looks kinda cool," I said to no one, "Doesn't matter though, I've got it."
I kept thinking as I put my boxers on that it really didn't look that bad. At 35, I'm supposed to beyond that kind of personal grooming, but I would give it a try for a while. I knew that it wouldn't really change the skill set at all, but it might get some good attention. At the time I didn't know the personal attention I would get would be so soon.
It seems that sometimes a shower fixes all. I got a call from my son beforehand and had to speak to his mother afterward.
After bitching, and carrying on about one out of her encyclopedia of issues, I wasn't in the best mood. But that's ok. I was in a better mood after cleaning up. I guess it cleans the mind too. I went down to the kitchen to grab some juice. I was going to kick back and watch the late show. I don't get into those windbags very often, but there was something about that night's show I wanted to see. As I was pouring my juice I heard a noise in the yard space between my house and the neighbor. It was a bit of rustling and what sounded like someone trying to get a door open. I like my neighbors and I wanted to check it out. After turning the kitchen light off, I went over to my back screen door and looked out. Sure enough there was someone trying to break in to my neighbor's back door. I treaded lightly across the floor and went to my main door on the other side of the house. I was planning on coming around the other side, to outflank them.
When I came around the house I saw the shadowed figure. I didn't think it would be much of a struggle, since the person looked about eight inches shorter than me. I knew with my special forces training, I could take them. Then they would have to just be carried out of here when the police came. Slowly I crept up to the intruder who was heavily involved with trying to get the door open with what seemed like a coat hanger. Talk about low brow. My heart raced as I came within a meter, then just a bit closer.
"Come here fucker!" I exclaimed as I grabbed the person from behind.
Quickly I used a head lock with my other hand in front of their mouth and pulled them away from the door. They lost their footing and I had to pull them back. With this body next to me, I couldn't help noticing that this intruder was not a guy. I know the curves of a woman well. Not to mention the smell. But I didn't know what kind of danger this person posed, so it did not change my intent. I flung her around and pressed my hands around her arms. But there was enough light from my house in this backyard area between houses to see who the intruder was.
"Jan?" I asked with surprised as I let go of her.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" she exclaimed.
"I thought you were someone breaking in" I said with a lowered tone. "You are breaking in, why?"
"It's me," she panted as she adjusted her clothes, "I live here remember?"
"Yeah I remember," I said, "But what the hell are you doing breaking in to your own house?"
"Um...I forgot my key," Jan said.
"Why not just knock on the door?" I asked as I put my hands out to my side.
"Well," Jan started, "No one is home."
"Oh yeah," I said, "Your parents are gone this weekend."
"Yeah and I can't find my key," she said with a smile.
"Come to think of it, Jan, you are supposed to be in by midnight," I said folding my arms.
"I'm eighteen and three fourths or so," Jan said with sarcasm, "I shouldn't have to."
"Wrong, missy," I smiled, "You are still living in your parent house. If they said eight, it would be eight. If they said never, you'd stay home. Their house, their rules even if you're fifty."
"Whatever," Jan said, "You got a key, just let me in already."
I couldn't help looking at her. Even in the dim light I could see her plainly. Her curly brown hair that went below the shoulders of her medium frame seemed just a bit out of place. She wore a form fitting one piece black dress that came off her shoulders. It barely went halfway to her knees. I don't see how she could actually sit down and maintain any dignity. She might have well been wearing nothing at all. Her attire left very little to the imagination. After calming down a bit I remembered how tight she felt, up against me as I first pulled her away from the door. But I knew I was supposed to have a little dignity too. However, I'm not over the hill yet.
"You know you don't have much respect for your parents do you?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I should be able to do what I want," Jan said, "I'm old enough to do what I want."
"Yeah ok," I said as I looked her over again, "You can vote, own property, and everything else...you can't do as a minor."
"Yeah that's not all, opens up some possibilities huh?" Jan smiled.
"Your parents should know about this," I said as I put my hands to my side and headed back to my house, "I'll get my key."
"No wait!" Jan said as she pulled my arm.
"Why?" I said as I turned around, "You were actually on your way out, weren't you?"
"No," Jan defended.
"And you forgot something. So you were already out dressed like that," I said as she backed off a bit.
Now closer to the light of my own house she was more visible. It was even harder to keep my eyes off of her. I was never really in to a girl that dresses like a tramp, but for some reason I couldn't help thinking about it. I knew I had to get it out of my mind.
"Speaking of being underdressed," Jan said, "Do you always go running around outside in your underwear?"
"I wasn't planning to but I couldn't exactly go and find clothes when I thought someone was breaking in to your house, now could I?" I asked.
"Well I guess not, but why? Wait, um," she hesitated, then opened her mouth wide, "Your getting aroused aren't you?"
"What?" I said defensively.
"Looking at me...you're...just...it's right there," she said pointing to the front of my boxers.
"What?" I asked looking down at myself.
"The blood flow is going south, ya know," Jan said as she pointed.
"Grow up," I said defensively, "Don't tell me...don't even tell me you never saw a guy in boxers before. You are not exactly a choir girl."
"Yeah so I have more than a mental image so what," Jan said, "So I'm wearing this dress. It's tight, and...there isn't much of it, but come on, you're like forty five or something. Aren't you supposed to have some control over it?"
"Thirty five smart ass. I am not aroused," I said, with frustration,
"Don't try to turn this around on me."
"I was kidding, you look young," Jan grinned.
"Well we'll just discuss it with your parents later," I said.
"Ah just wait, sorry," Jan said quickly.
I noticed her for sure. Who in their right mind wouldn't? I saw her form and looked her over carefully. But I was far from arousal. At this point I thought that she was just trying to get me to back off and forget about it. I thought that she wanted to try to turn things around so that I would stay quiet. In my experience this is a rather common tactic when backed into a corner.
"Nothing unusual here," I said, "Why don't you focus on something else."
"You're full of crap neighbor," Jan said waving her hand in front of her face, "No way. You have to have it on the brain to get like that."
"Get like what?" I asked, "Wait, stop turning this around. "
"I'm not stupid is why," she said as she pointed toward me again.
"You know just a little too much for your age," I said as I looked at myself again, "What are you looking at your dad's fishing buddy for anyway? Who is really the weirdo here?"
I started to walk toward the house to try to hide my annoyance. I get plenty of attention and I don't mind. I have even played into it quite often. Sometimes I would walk away wondering what kind of thoughts they would have after my looks, posture, and behavior. But this was ridiculous. Plus it was a bit too close to home.
"There's a sock, or pepperoni or something in there right?" Jan smiled.
"You should really quit while you're behind," I exclaimed.
"Ahem," Jan panted with a smile, "Guess I have something to shoot for."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"I mean," she said nervously, "Gotta find one of those sometime."
"Enough of this," I said with a sigh, "You're going to go into your house and stay there."
"You know you could let me see it," Jan smiled, "Then I'd probably keep quiet about it."
"Keep dreaming," I said, annoyed, "This isn't show and tell."
"Oh I am dreaming," Jan said.
I was somewhat flattered. As I mentioned, I still get attention, but not as often as I use to. I still tried my best to maintain control of my thoughts. Inwardly I was smiling at her fascination. But it was testing even my cavalier attitude toward the subject.
"Think what you want," I said after a pause, then walked toward my house.
"Fine, an exchange of information then," I heard her say from behind me.
"What?" I said as I turned.
"I mean it's a fair exchange," she smiled, "I'm really curious to see if you are faking it. I can pay the price of admission."
"You're out of your mind," I said with annoyance.
I have always been weak to this. I have always been just a little bit concerned that someone might point out a weakness of mine. This is not a weakness but I couldn't help feeling challenged. I think it got the better of me, and put my judgment in check.
"Look little miss, I don't need to fake it", I defended.
"Prove it," she said folding her arms.
I looked at her expression and there was a definite determination. She looked at me and stood there as if she had made up her mind and there was no going back. I sensed that she was not going to back down. I wanted to end this. It was uncomfortable. I just wanted to get away from her before I did have a reaction to her presence.
"I don't need to, not to you," I said, annoyed.
I didn't care anymore. I was trying to walk a fine line and get out of this without much trouble, but it got too difficult. So I got a little rude. Call it a wakeup call to someone who should have had more control when she was growing up. Great parents don't always mean you're getting a kid who can behave themselves. I walked into the house without looking back and could hear her following me.
"Ok tough guy," Jan said as she quickly yanked down my boxers and grabbed my appendage from around my waist, "Holy!"
"Holy...what the hell?" I exclaimed as I jerked away and pulled my boxers up.
"Ok sorry, too curious I guess," Jan said nervously as I turned.
"You know that's assault," I said as I pointed at her.
"Like you really mind," Jan smiled as she walked into the kitchen, "What are you going to do about it, put me over your knee or something?"
"Where did that come from?" I said.
"Well I know one thing you could punish me with," she smiled as she took a cup out of the dish drainer and filled it with water.
"Keep dreaming," I said as I folded m arms. "That grope is all you are getting. Keep your hormones in check."
"Dream about rubbing it against my still tight, shaved pussy, making me wet, ok sure," she said with a slight whisper.
"Shut up already," I said quickly.
I knew what she was trying to do. She was giving me a mental image of her physical self to see if I was curious. She was baiting me. Young, way too curious, and horny, she was on some sort of mission. Obviously I could have her easy, but it wasn't right, and would probably have consequences.
"Look, sorry I'm just playing around," she said as she set the cup down.
"Get out of here and go to bed," I said as I turned my back and walked off into the family room.
"I was hoping you'd ask," Jan grinned. "An all night thing huh? My place? Wow."
"Go away, ok?" I shot back.
I was annoyed, but only mildly. I have certainly never been bothered too much when a girl grabs my stuff, but this was way out there. I went into the family room and planted myself in front of the TV. I became even more annoyed when I realized that I had missed half of the show I wanted to watch. But as soon as I turned the TV on, there was a knock on the open doorway. I ignored the first one, but the second was much louder. This girl just doesn't give up. But no more free shows tonight.
"What Jan?" I asked with a sigh.
"Well I still can't get into my house," she said.
"Oh yeah," I grinned and took my keys off of the side table, "Best to let you in so you won't go off and do something stupid."
"Yeah perish the thought", Jan said as she watched me walk past her.
I brushed past the girl, and got a whiff of the gallon of perfume she had on and shook my head. Quickly I walked over to her back door and put the key in. It didn't open. I wiggled it around then pulled it out to look at it to make sure it was the right one.
"Oh yeah," Jan said from behind me, "I was supposed to give you the new key today."
"Would have been a good idea," I said as I glared at her.
"Look, I'll just call my parents on your phone, then go to a friend's house," Jan said.
"Oh so you can go out and get in more trouble," I snapped, "No, get your ass in my house. You can crash on the couch for now."
"Yes sir," Jan snapped sarcastically and followed me in, "You want my ass in your house."
"Is that another?" I started but was interrupted.
"Never tried that so be gentle ok?" she smiled.
"You are just unbelievable," I said as I walked into the house.
"Thanks handsome, you're kinda hot too," Jan smiled.
I waited until she had stepped in the door, then I closed and locked it behind her. I looked her over a moment as she walked past me. Her demeanor had changed a bit. I think she knew she messed up. But I wasn't done yet.
"If you're going to be here, you can go take a shower," I said as I sat back down on the couch.
"Awesome, we get to start that way huh?" Jan said with an excited tone.
"I know what I want to lather up first."
"By yourself," I shot back.
"Why do I stink or something?" Jan asked.
"Yes," I said, not holding back, "Perfume, like a Louisiana cathouse."
"Fine," she said with a low shallow voice.
"There's some sweat pants and shirt clean on the dryer over by the bathroom. Get a bag and put those clothes in them if they have perfume on them," I barked.
"Fine," Jan said with a defeated expression.
"Sorry," I said, "Didn't mean anything really, just makes me sneeze. Don't feel bad."
"Sorry I was so strong with my ideas. It's no secret I've always been attracted to you," she said.
"I'm just a guy Jan," I said, "I make mistakes too."
"You forget, even though I was really young, I saw how you felt when you lost your wife. Underneath all that macho, you're kind and caring," she said as she walked off.
I spent the next few minutes trying to figure it out how she could be so raunchy one moment, and so level headed the next. I had forgotten that she was in her parent's family room when they were consoling me about my wife. It's funny what people remember about you. I have always been close with her parents and I had to bail her out of trouble a few other times too. I never wanted to upset her parents so I kept it quiet. Perhaps that wasn't the best approach. Maybe it's time they know that their daughter is not an angel. It might do her some good.
I couldn't get what she said out of my head. She couldn't possibly have feelings for me. Not with all the adventures she has had. Underneath all of it she does have good qualities. She was a straight A student from first grade on. Other than her own shenanigans, she is mostly responsible. She is also attractive of course, but way too young.
With all this going on, I didn't even get to watch my show. It was all done, and Jan was out of the shower. I felt bad asking her to do that, but it was a little rough. I heard her rustling around in the kitchen, presumably for a bag to put her clothes in. But when she came into the family room I did a double take.
"Shower was good actually," Jan said as she stood a few feet away from the TV and in front of me.
She looked at the TV and it was probably a good thing. She would have caught me staring. All she had on was one of my sweatshirts. Well at least I assumed that was all. It seemed as if she ignored the sweat pants. I knew it would be baggy on her, but it was all I had. The sweatshirt was big in her and was low enough to just barely cover her secrets. Her hair was wet, and brushed back, no doubt with my brush. She lifted both of her arms back to pull some hair back. When she did, the sweatshirt rode even further up to where I could just see a little that this was all she had decided to put on.
"Couldn't find the sweatpants in case you are wondering," she said as she stared at the TV.
"Ok," I tried to cover, "But yeah I'll find something else."
"No it's ok," she said, "This works. I can't sleep in sweats anyway."
"Well you can take them off when you sleep," I said with mild annoyance.
"No don't trouble yourself," Jan smiled as she looked at me.
"But Jan," I started because I couldn't shake the image of her wearing a single item of my clothing.
"Yeah I know what you are going to say, but I wasn't wearing any under my skirt," she said to me.
It was at that point that I realized that I still had just my boxers on. With all the irritation I completely spaced it. I should have put something else on. I realize that she already had a look, and a tug, but as much as I really would not like to care, I should probably have sweats on. Perhaps I should go find those ones she conveniently overlooked. My eyes kept wandering. It's true it's been a while since I've had anything, but that's no excuse. She just stood there looking at the TV. It was almost like a tease of some kind. How could she not know she would show if she lifted her arms.
"Oh my God, I want boobs like that!" she said, watching a commercial.
"Why?" I asked, looking at the TV.
"I'd be hot. Sporting those around, making every guy turn their head," she said as she bounced a bit, and then walked over to the chair diagonal to me.
I watched her sit down. Her torso faced away from me a bit. She lifted her leg a bit to examine nail polish or something on her toe. I really didn't pay much attention to that since even from a side view, she nearly showed all the way up to that ass with her leg raised. Suddenly I got to wondering what the rest looked like. I imagined a bit, and then stopped to scold myself. Don't get me wrong. If this was not my next door neighbor's daughter, I would have made a suggestion already. I broke with my daydream before it went any further, and of course covered for it in my own way.
"Not everyone is into a big rack but I'm sure you get attention," I said dryly.
"I really look ok?" She asked.
"You're fine the way you are," I said quickly, knowing I was getting baited again.
"Thanks for saying so," she smiled, "You can look this way if you want, don't be embarrassed."
"Watching TV," I said, as I looked away from her.
"I noticed that the shower was jus used before me. Is that when you did it?" Jan asked.
"Did what?" I asked.
"Shaved your goods," Jan smiled, "I didn't get much time, but it was very smooth."
"That's really more than you should know," I said.
"But I know," she smiled as she turned a bit in her seat, "Not bad for the first time."
"How would you know that?" I asked with annoyance.
"You missed a little on the base of your shaft on the top part," she smiled.