With my chin resting on the table, I stared at the little bottle. It was a rather unremarkable looking thing. It could almost be called a vial, but I think of vials as something smaller and thinner, like in a lab. This was more like one of those small energy drink containers, only bigger and made of glass. The liquid inside, however, was much more remarkable. Silvery, with tinges of blue, it appeared to shimmer. Almost as if it were alive and breathing, the shimmer was like a pulse. I found it very easy to stare at it, it was quite hypnotic. Like it was calling to me, enticing me to drink. I had a sudden flash to Alice in Wonderland, and going down the rabbit hole. Drink me, Eat me, indeed. Not like I needed the extra enticement. If I wasn't going to try it, I wouldn't have bought it in the first place.
I had found this potion a week ago on a business trip to New Orleans. Or rather, the potion had found me. I had been wandering the French Quarter one evening, trying my best to be a casual, unobtrusive tourist, checking out all the landmarks friends had told me to seek out. I was just about to head back to my hotel, when a matronly old woman called out to me. She was leaning against the door jamb to a small shop, which upon further inspection was what appeared to be an occult oriented bookstore. Once she had my attention, she beckoned me over. As I approached her, I couldn't help but feel at ease. I think it's because the woman reminded me of my grandmother.
She wasted no time at all, she leaned in, and in a voice that was too loud to be a whisper, but soft enough to be for my ears only, said, "I have something for you, dearie. Something I know you'll love. Something to solve your..." she paused, giving me a knowing look up and down, "...problem." I raised my eyebrow, and was about to protest that I had no problem I was aware of, but she cut me off. "Oh, don't bother trying to deny it and hide behind false fronts and bravado. I know. You'll find no judgment from me. You hide it well, you should know. Better than most, but I know of the disconnection between your soul and your body."
Finding my voice again, after having it basically startled out of me, I asked "how could you know? I can count the people that know on one hand!"
With a gentle smile, she replied, "All true, but I see things that most people cannot, or will not. And I see very clearly that you walk around in a shell, a construct that hides the real you. Come. Come inside, and I'll show you."
I followed her inside, where she showed me the bottle I stared at now. She had practically sold it to me before I even saw it, simply by her supernatural prescience. For she was absolutely correct. A fact I hid from ninety-nine percent of the people who knew me, with very little difficulty. They found it very easy to see the man I was on the outside. I wasn't any sort of paragon of manliness, or built like a male model, but I was undeniably masculine in build. Broad shoulders, masculine features. Hell, I even wear facial hair. But all that conceals the woman inside. Conceals, that is, all except for this woman. After telling me the bottle would match the inside with the outside, it was probably one of the easiest 30 bucks she had ever made. To be fair, even if I wasn't nearly convinced she was actually telling the truth, the 30 dollar price tag was low enough that I couldn't resist just trying.
A deliberately cleared throat broke me of my reverie. "You've been staring at it for ten minutes," my friend Kiki said, "are you trying to work up the courage or something?" Kiki was direct, as always, a virtue I counted on her for, cherished her for. She was part of the one percent I trusted with my secret, and she had become my one and only girlfriend (in the best friends vein) as a result. I looked up at her sheepishly.
"Yeah, I guess I am," I replied.
"How can you be that scared to have what you've basically always wanted?" She had a point. I've known, in some fashion, since I was a teenager. It started off when I saw some gender bender movie. The concept touched something deep in me, and I found myself thinking about it more and more with each passing day. And I found, eventually, that it stayed with me so much because it's what I wanted for myself. I wanted to be a woman. It satisfied a deep psychological need, and it also sexually aroused me. I figured out that not only was I female in my core, but I had a transformation fantasy as well. Kiki called it a two-fer. I was a woman, but I also found sexual desire in the act of my body changing from the male to the female. I later found writings that suggested that this was how I helped satisfy my "inner girl," since I had chosen to forego transition.
I accepted who I was, but at the same time, my male body posed a challenge. As I mentioned, I'm no Adonis, but there was no mistaking this body as anything but male. I simply did not believe transitioning was for me. I felt more comfortable in my current body than I believed I would with the roll of the dice on how HRT and SRS would make me look. I basically wanted there to be no doubt, ever, of my womanhood.
"Well, for starters, I'm scared it just won't work. But I'm also scared that it will work, but not enough. You know how much I'm afraid of looking, well, stuck in between the two."
"Didn't the woman already tell you that wasn't the case? If you believe her that it'd work, why would you not believe her to the full extent? I mean, what's in it for her to lie to you about it?" I didn't have a response to that, however, it did make me think to myself that just because I couldn't answer that question, that didn't mean there wasn't any answer at all. I simply may not have been able to see it. "Listen, I understand if you want to hold off longer," she said, with a sympathetic look, "It's huge. If that's the case, go get out of that robe and put some clothes on, and we can grab some dinner. We can do this whenever you're ready." Something about how she said that really seemed to put a kick to my ass. I looked at Kiki for a few beats, then took a deep breath, grabbed the bottle, and drank the potion down. I set the bottle back on the table, took stock of the look on Kiki's face (a mixture of admiration and anticipation), and sat back down. I could feel the potion going down my esophagus. It felt warm, warmer than it should have been at room temperature in relation to my internal body temperature.
After a fairly long silence between us, Kiki started to give me questioning looks, and finally burst out with "well? Anything?"
I chuckled, and said, "I guess even magic potions take some time to get in the system, huh?" We laughed, but I was thinking to myself "oh, no, it was nothing. I got duped with snake oil." I smiled again to Kiki, saying "We'll just have to be a little more patient."
After about 10 minutes of waiting, interspersed with "anything yet?"s from Kiki, I was really starting to despair. I think Kiki was, as well. Out of boredom, she picked the bottle up, turning it over in her hands. I saw her start for a moment, then looking much more closely at the bottle. At that moment, I started to feel something happening. I couldn't quite explain the sensation, but it was completely alien to me. It was, all at once, a tingle, a numbness, and pleasure. I was just about to tell Kiki, when all of a sudden, she muttered "uh oh..."
"Uh oh?" I replied, "UH OH? Now's a really bad time for an 'uh-oh,' Kiki! I think it's starting to work! What is it?"
"The bottle has writing on it, but written in the exact color of the potion, making it nearly impossible to see now, let alone when it was full. There's a warning..."
"A war-war..oooooooh" I cut myself off as a huge wave of euphoria crashed over my entire body. I had taken Ecstasy a few times when I was younger, and this felt like rollin', cranked up to 11. I managed to get out "what kind of warning?" before the sensations overwhelmed me again.
"Well...it says you only need a small amount, and to increase until effects begin to compensate for body weight and such...you weren't supposed to drink it all like that." She shot me a very concerned look, which changed almost immediately to surprise. "Oh, Sandy, I can see some changes. Your hair is longer, and your face is softening."
I could only nod. I had felt both of those things, and so much more. I stood up, although on very shaky legs. The robe I was wearing, to afford me some touch of dignity and to avoid other clothing not fitting right when I changed, fell open. That notion of dignity was long gone, though. For one thing, anything Kiki saw at this point of that body was going away. I leaned back on a counter to steady myself, and just in time as the euphoria washed over me again. I guessed the sensation was so intense because I had overdosed, but I couldn't hold enough focus on that. My focus was taken up by the powerfully pleasurable sensations and the changes that came along with them.
I could see my body's changes now. I looked at my hands, and they were decidedly feminine. The fingers were more slender, and several scars I had on my knuckles disappeared. I noticed that my arm was also thinner, and there was no more hair there. I looked down, and my now exposed penis was smaller. It had never been what I'd refer to as big, but now it was officially small, and dwindling, along with the testicles and hair.
I was definitely getting shorter, as well, as I noticed a gradual change in perspective. From what I could feel of my head and face, all facial hair had gone, and my hair was past shoulder length, the brown locks wavy and full. While looking down at my disappearing penis, I saw my chest begin to swell, and I was vaguely aware that my ass was also becoming larger, and my hips had widened. As my newly forming breasts grew, I started running my hands around my body. My breathing started to get heavy as the euphoric sensations began to become steady instead of in waves. That had to be from the potion, but I hardly cared. As my left hand went down to my crotch, my right hand cupped my right breast, and I realized that not only were my breasts growing at quite a rapid pace, but they didn't seem to be slowing down. It hit me: I drank the entire potion. I silently prayed I wouldn't end up with insanely large breasts where I could barely move. As it stood now, they were about the size of softballs.
My left hand was reporting back to me as well. There wasn't much left between my legs that belonged to a man. My penis was now basically reduced to the head, and when I even nudged it, I got a huge jolt through my body. Almost as if every nerve ending that had been in my penis had doubled, and concentrated in that one part, which was already the most sensitive. It was settling in above the increasingly defined vagina, becoming my new clitoris. The pleasure was really ramping up now, and I had the sudden insight that I was building towards orgasm in a way I had never experienced before.
I was able to sneak looks at Kiki between the self-exploration, and the look on her face said it all: shocked astonishment. I could hardly blame her. From my own perspective this transformation was incredible. From hers, watching a man's body reshape itself in to a female one, it had to have been quite a show.
Thankfully, my breasts growth slowed down considerably. I wasn't going to have gargantuan boobs, but they were still awfully big. I had no idea their measurement, but by comparison I'd have to say they were at least as big as my head. At nearly the same time my breasts gave their last surge of growth, I felt my new vagina completely form and connect with the newly formed internal female organs. With that, the buildup to orgasm crested, and I came. Hard. My knees buckled and failed beneath me. I crumpled to the floor, practically screaming in pleasure. Against my will, the world began to iris in, and I slipped in to unconsciousness.
I came to, and saw Kiki standing over me with a look of concern on her face. As she saw me waking up, she sighed in relief, and started to help me up, which I needed. I was used to a much different center of gravity, and between losing what I guessed to be about 5 inches of height plus growing breasts, I was all out of whack. "Are you alright" she asked.
"Yeah, but I think I just had my first orgasm," I said, and my hand flew to my mouth. My voice...it was my voice, the voice on the inside, how I thought it'd sound. Kiki saw my reaction, and smiled.
"Oh, Sandy. You sound great. I was really worried when you collapsed. Accidentally drinking all of the potion, and all. I thought maybe it could have been fatal, or something. Seems that all it did was make you a little more endowed than you might have been. Let's get you to a mirror." We left the living room, and headed towards my room, where there was a full length hanging on the backside of my door. As we walked, I saw that I was about 2 inches shorter than Kiki now, so I guessed my new height at about 5'1". I was unsteady at first, but started to gain some semblance of balance as we entered my room. Kiki shut the door, and I shrugged the robe off. It's not like Kiki hadn't seen it form in the first place. What I saw looking back at me was both exhilarating and frightening in its newness.
One concern was taken care of...there was no mistaking me for anything but a woman. I looked at my new face. I landed on "cute" to describe how I looked. At least to me, I didn't feel like I was drop dead gorgeous, but I was attractive. I probed a little at my face, and Kiki chimed in "kinda girl-next-door, I'd say." I smiled and nodded. That worked for me. My eyes had pretty much stayed the same, blue with thick lashes. They looked larger, though. My nose had gone from kind of hawkish to more like a button with a slight upturn. My lips had filled out some, but weren't huge. A mole I had on my lower cheek was gone, as were my pockmarks. I hadn't thought the mole before, but I was glad. It wasn't what someone would call a beauty mark. As I studied the rest of my body from a mirrors angle, I noticed for the first time that most of my tattoos were gone. In fact, only one remained, on my right arm, below the shoulder, there was my tattoo of a phoenix. Fitting.
After a few more moments of checking myself out, including turning and looking back at my womanly backside, I sat down on the bed. Unconsciously, my hands crept up and down my body. Kiki had started talking about having a few pieces of clothes that might fit me, but I was barely aware. I was horny, incredibly so. I started to rub my clit, wanting very much for some more release. Kiki must have asked me a question, because she looked back at me, and recoiled as she saw my shamelessly masturbating. "Sandy! I'm right here! I understand this is exciting for you, but can't you wait?" I snapped back to what I was doing, and apologized, but seconds later, she was telling me again.
"I can't help myself, Kiki, it's like I have no control. I'm really trying to stop, I just can't!" I was a little concerned at this, but at the same time, I felt so good that I was easily justifying my actions to myself.
"Okay, fine. I'm going out there, and when you're done, let me know," she said, leaving the room. With her gone, I stopped what little resistance I was able to give and fully immersed myself in to the masturbation. Oh, but it felt wonderful. I rubbed my clitoris a little faster, kneading my breast. I brought my fingers to my nipples, which I realized at grown a bit as well, and pinched them. I had always enjoyed that to a degree as a man, but it was ten times better now. I started to tentatively explore my vagina with my finger. I was transfixed by the new sensations coming from it, having an orifice where once there was a protrusion. I could feel the moisture, not just on my finger, but building inside. I couldn't quite find the words to describe the feeling, but it was like the feeling of getting an erection, in a sense. I could tell it was my body preparing itself for sex, even if I couldn't efficiently describe the unconscious actions themselves.
I returned the fingers of that hand to my clit and worked that more, and almost reluctantly stopped fondling my huge boob to use that hand for a little penetration. As I probed deeper and deeper, my mind was nearly empty except for thoughts of pleasure. My fingers felt wonderful. The feeling of something being inside an orifice meant for something to be inside was incredible. I had experimented somewhat with self anal penetration, and while that held a certain amount of pleasure thanks to the prostrate (which I realized was now gone), it was nothing compared to this. I began to think about what it'd be like to have something more substantial in me. First, my thoughts went to a dildo, and I could have kicked myself for not being prepared with one. Those thoughts warmed me up even more, and I increased my speed. But soon enough, the thought of a dildo escalated in to something more.
Cock. My mind began to focus on a hard cock thrusting in and out of me. And with those thoughts, another orgasm was on my like a tsunami. I did not slow down; however, in fact, I went even faster and insistently. I had never really focused on the man's organ, beyond the one I used to have, very much. I had always maintained an attraction to women. But right now, my body was sending my brain information, and the brain was telling me that if what I was doing right now felt good, then having a penis fucking my new vagina would be incredible. I was still awash with the previous orgasm when I started to feel another one quickly build up. In no time, another pleasure explosion hit me. I was always curious about the multiple orgasms, and now I knew.
You'd think that would slow me down, but I still found myself almost frantically fingering myself. My hands were flying between my pussy and my boobs. My haze lifted for a moment as I realized that once again, I was feeling an unintended side effect of drinking the entire potion. I hoped it would subside, nor would there be other more unsettling side effects before my body's desires overrode my rational thoughts again. Hard cocks were once again dominating my fantasy, except now, I wasn't just getting fucked. Along with getting plowed in my new, aching for dick pussy, I saw myself sucking dick. I saw myself titty-fucking a huge cock. I saw myself getting double teamed. I saw myself getting butt fucked. Yet another orgasm slammed me, and my screeching must have sounded frightening, because Kiki burst back in to the room. She took one look at me and as her eyes widened I saw comprehension on her face as well. The potions effects were super charged at that level, and over powering me. I looked at her with pleading eyes, and moaned "Oh, Kiki, this is wonderful, but I need help. Help me, please!"
With a quick scrunched up expression, she replied, "Sands, I love you, but you know that I, you know, don't like women like that...I mean, maybe a little for you if it'd help, but..." I cut her off.
"No, not help like that. I need penetration! I need to get fucked! Help me get fucked, help me find a guy to fuck me!" As soon as I said it, something strange happened. I began to level off. I was still horny, incredibly supernaturally horny, but I was in control. It was like admitting my new desires out loud gave me a semblance of domination over the potion's effects. I sighed, both out of pleasure and relief, and sat up. Kiki was just staring at me, mouth agape.
"R-really? I thought you really didn't see men in an arousing sort of way."
"Me, either, and maybe it's the potion, or maybe its deeper desires coming forth now that I have this body, but once a penis entered my brain, it was all I could think about. I need it. And even though I'm thinking much more clearly than I was two minutes ago, I still need it. In fact, I get the feeling if I don't, I may sink back in to that mindless haze I was just in for a few minutes there."