- Poetry With Audio
- Putty
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Click hereI am putty in your rough hands;
pliant, yielding, mouldable
Your callouses stripe me
and build my character.
Each ridge tells a tale,
each is stunningly beautiful.
I yield to you
My Love, My Master.
- COMMENTS
Trixareforkidsalmost 10 years agoIf I were permitted to play with this one I would change 'mouldable' to mailable for the layers of meaning as well as for the IMO better sound of the word.
The double use of each bothers me as well I would change the second line beginning with each to 'of stunning beauty'. Again layers of meaning.
I'm more reluctant to share changes I'd make to poetry just because subtle word changes can change the feel of the piece but in this case I couldn't resist. Hope you understand it's coming from a place of sharing rather than critique.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoI'm listening to all your audios,then as me mood strikes I will begin your written works.
Glad you posted.
Cinnerover 11 years agoAuthorI realised today that I have not seen several of the comments to my stories and poems so I am going through all of them now. I thank you for being such a delightful surprise!
(((HUGS)))
