Valerie the Magnificent Ch. 04byval wrangler©
Ever since I reached puberty, I've been very conflicted. It's easy to explain: my parents have very strong religious views and they brought my sister and me up that way. The conflict comes from the fact that I have sexual urges that they would have considered very, VERY improper.
I had my first period when I was 12. I'd only heard about these things happening from a couple of friends at school. My mom never told me anything about it. One morning I woke up and when I went to get out of bed, I realized the crotch of my pajamas were covered in blood as were the sheets. (I've always been a heavy bleeder.) To say the least, I was hysterical.
Mom came in, took one look at the mess, then looked at me as I stood there crying and shaking, told me to "clean myself up" and we would talk when I got downstairs. "And don't forget to strip your bed!"
The first words out of mom's mouth when we talked were, "So now you know what 'the curse is'." You can gather the way the rest of the conversation went. She let me stay home from school that morning, but only because she didn't have any sanitary napkins. (She was 46 and had already lost her period.) Tampons were totally not on the radar.
Did we ever talk about the birds and bees? No. The little bit I knew was all gleaned in furtive conversations with my friends. Mom told me to stay away from boys "because they all want only one thing". Funny thing was, she would never tell me what that one thing was.
Fast forward to when I was 15. I hadn't been out on a date, hadn't even held hands with a boy, because I knew if I did, my parents would ground me for a century. That's what they said. "Concentrate on school and church. When God believes you're ready, he'll reveal your future husband to you."
Wanting to be a good daughter, I did just that. I got pretty good grades and immersed myself in sports, something I was really good at. Of course, being around jockettes led to a lot of locker room discussion on that most important of topics: boys. Sitting in my corner and listening in, I learned a lot -- and I was fascinated.
Some of my teammates were pretty wild and dating older boys. Their stories really opened my eyes. By the time I was 17, I knew all about things like blow jobs, getting eaten out, gang bangs, you name it.
And that's where the conflict came in. My parents had always told me these thoughts were "impure" and went against God's will. But I couldn't help myself. Sex fascinated me. I thought about it all the time.
I remember the first time I touched myself between my legs. I'd heard about masturbation when I was 14 but knew that good girls didn't do that sort of thing. You may not believe it, but I resisted until I was 18. That's when my best friend showed me exactly how to do it. She wanted me to do it WITH her, but I was far too embarrassed for that. But even though I knew it was very wrong indeed, I stayed to watch her. I know now that she was interested in seeing if I would be open to the idea of fooling around with her, but at that point I was pretty naive.
"I can't believe you've never brought yourself off, Val! You don't know what you've been missing!"
First she waited until her folks went out. (We went to the same church and her parents were a lot like mine, but Steph had always been a little bit wild and was punished often.)
"Always lock your door!" she said, "because if you're going to do this right, you want to be naked." My eyes must have bugged out because Steph began laughing. "Haven't you ever seen another person naked, Valerie?"
Of course I had being involved in sports, but having someone naked right in front of you and ready to do all sorts of nasty things had been the stuff of my fantasies -- until then.
Stephanie's eyes were locked on mine as she opened the snap at the top of her jeans and worked them down over her hips. I kept my gaze on her face not wanting to look down. Her panties weren't big ones like mine but small and pink and lovely, barely covering her tush, and I was instantly jealous.
"I can't believe your mom lets you wear those."
"She doesn't know I have 'em. I bought them with my baby sitting money and I wash them in the bathroom sink when she's not around."
I stopped her as she began to pull her sweatshirt over her head. "Do you have to be completely, um, naked?"
"Oh come on, Val! Don't be a big stick in the mud. It's more fun if you don't have any clothes on. What are you worried about?"
"What if your parents come home? You couldn't get dressed fast enough."
"Relax. They won't be home for hours. Besides, the door's locked. Do you think they're going to break it down or something?"
Steph's father was pretty large and I knew he had a bad temper. Quite frankly, he scared me.
Not able to reason with her, Steph soon had her sweatshirt and bra off. The panties quickly followed. She stood in front of me with her hands on her hips, head cocked to one side. "Sure you don't want to join me? There's room enough on the bed for two."
I just shook my head, but my mouth was dry. Stephanie had a beautiful body. Her breasts were bigger than mine and hung down more and had huge nipples. The dark hair between her legs was thick and bushy, unlike mine which was rather sparse and straight, like the oriental girls on my soccer team. I wondered how many boys fantasized about what I was seeing in front of me. Even though she only was allowed to date boys from church and then only at church functions (like me, once I'd turned 17), she flirted with all the boys at school.
Steph threw her sweatshirt over the lamp on her night table to soften the light, then lay down on the comforter and spread her legs shamelessly. Reaching under the pillow she pulled out a white tube. I thought it was toothpaste.
"It's KY jelly, silly! Never do this without lubricant unless you're really wet." She reached down between her legs and her middle finger disappeared into her bush. "Mmmm. I think having an audience agrees with me. I'm super wet. Do you ever get wet, Valerie?"
My face burned as I thought about Tom who was in my history class. The head of the student council, basketball star and favorite of just about every girl in the senior class, I had spent an entire period the previous week working on a project with him. Well, he worked, I just sat there with a glazed expression, trying to imagine what he would look like with his clothes off. What his erect penis would look like. When I got to Phys Ed immediately after, my panties were soaked and I could imagine every girl in the locker room could smell it.
That's when I decided that I needed to learn how to masturbate, even if it meant I would go straight to hell because of it.
"Uh, yea...a couple of times."
She patted the bed next to her. "Sit here. You're making me nervous standing there staring at me like that. Besides, you'll be more comfortable. I'm going to make this last awhile."
I sat way at the end as Steph pulled her knees up to give me room. It also gave me a pretty hair-raising view of her open genitals. The room suddenly felt very warm.
"Now, do you know all the things a girl has down here?"
"I did take health class, thank you," I answered rather tartly. I wasn't THAT much of a rube!
I watched as Steph used the fingers of one hand to spread her labia apart, and the other hand to pull up on the skin at the top of her slit.
"This little thing here is going to be your very best friend."
"You mean the clitoris?"
"I like to call it my clit or 'hot button', 'cause that's what it is."
She scooped some moisture from farther down her slit onto her first two fingers and then lightly passed them over her clitoris.
"Oh God! I am SO hot. Do you like watching this, Val? Does it make you hot, too?"
I didn't know what to say. I could feel my whole groin throbbing and I was sure my panties would be soaked in a short time. The feeling had never been this strong before and it sort of frightened me. One part of me wanted to strip off all my clothes and join Stephanie in pleasuring myself, but I also knew that what we were doing was against everything we'd been taught. Still, I couldn't tear my eyes away.
Steph began to rub herself more frantically with her hips making little thrusting movements and her head was tossing from side to side. "Val, will you pinch my nipples for me? That turns me on so much! Please?"
I was shocked. The thought of touching someone else in such an intimate way was beyond my comprehension. I seldom touched myself there! "I can't, Steph. I just can't."
She looked up at me with a glazed expression lost in her sexual feelings. "That's all right. I can do it myself if I have to."
Steph stopped holding herself open with her left hand and immediately began tugging and twisting at her nipples with it. I thought to myself that it must hurt to do that so hard, but she seemed to be doing anything but suffering from it.
Her hand between her legs was almost a blur as she rubbed a stroked and pulled at her clitoris. By now she wasn't talking anymore, just moaning and thrashing around on the bed as if an invisible lover was taking his pleasure on her body.
My mouth was dry and I squeezed my legs together in an effort to relieve the pulsing pressure in my womanhood. As Stephanie's heat increased I could feel my body doing the same and without realizing what I was doing, one hand reached up and started rubbing my breast.
Steph noticed immediately and smiled slyly. "Are you sure you won't join me? I guarantee you won't believe what it feels like!"
I just shook my head unable to say what I wanted.
"Oh my God! Here it comes Val and...uhhhh...mmmmm... It's going to be a big one.
Stephanie, on the edge of her orgasm, stopped pulling on her nipples and brought her other hand down to her crotch where I watched in amazement as she stuck one, then two, then three, then finally four fingers into herself and started thrusting in and out violently.
"Oh God! Oh God! Fuck! Fuck! I'm going to fucking cum, Val. I'm going to cum all over my hand! This feels so fucking good! Ughhhhhhh..."
I thought Stephanie was going to have a heart attack as her whole body shook while her hand thrust in and out of her vagina. The orgasm rolled through her entire body over and over, causing her to heave and twist uncontrollably.
Finally it ended and she let out a big sigh and smiled. Her body was a sweaty mess and the whole room smelled of the odor of her sexual frenzy. I was shocked, enthralled and more turned on than I'd ever been. My heart was pounding a mile a minute.
"Did you like that, Val? Did you like watching me pleasure myself and make myself cum? Would you like to try it now?"
Her voice was hypnotic and I could feel myself wanting with all my heart to join her in this place of extreme pleasure she'd shown me. Yet, there was also something taunting in my friend's voice, almost as if she was saying that she was more a woman than I because I had never given myself an orgasm.
That broke me out of my trance. "No, Stephanie. I won't ever do this in front of anyone. I couldn't!"
Stephanie shrugged. "Suit yourself. You don't know what your missing. Aren't you even turned on?" Then she looked between my legs and started giggling.
I look down and saw with horror that the crotch of my jeans were soaked through.
"What am I going to do?" I cried. "I can't go home like this!"
Steph got off the bed and stretched. "Then don't go home until it dries, or better yet, throw them in the dryer for a few minutes." Then with her eyes looking right into mine, she reached down between her legs, ran two fingers up between her labia and then stuck them into her mouth. "Mmm, mmm good!"
My mouth fell open. I couldn't imagine anyone ever doing something like that. Little did I know...
Steph slipped on her robe and led me down to the basement. I stripped off my jeans and she put them in the dryer. I immediately noticed the strong odor of sex and realized it was coming from my panties, causing me blush, but also turning me on even more.
Stephanie hugged me. "Relax. This is the way it's supposed to be. Women are supposed to be like this -- regardless of what your parents have told you. Now you can't deny that you were turned on watching me. I know I loved having you there!"
"Is it always like that?" I asked. "I thought you were going to have a heart attack. Do you realize that your eyes actually rolled up into your head when you...um..."
"Don't be afraid to say it, Val. When I came? It's a nice word. I LOVE to come. But no, it's not always like that. Most times they're a lot less strong. It depends how turned on you are."
"How do I know how turned on I am?"
"Believe me, girl, you'll know!" The dryer dinged. "There! Your jeans are as good as new."
Just before putting them on, I made a show of looking at my watch. "Oh golly, I'm late! Sorry Steph but I've got to go." As I slipped my sneakers back on, I looked at her and mumbled something like, "Thanks for showing me that." I don't really know. I was just in a hurry to get home.
Was I about to miss dinner or did I have to be home at a certain time? No. My parents and sister were going out for the evening and I'd have at least two glorious hours with the house all to myself.
I had plans.
When I got home, I went through the entire house and our yard, just to make sure that no one was around. I knew what the reaction of my parents would be if they caught me doing what I was aching to do. I knew it was a bad thing, but I just couldn't help it. I had to make myself cum.
Finally satisfied that I was alone, I went up to my room, pulled the shade down and even pulled the curtains together. My room, unlike Steph's didn't have a lock on the door, but I was pretty good at using the chair for my desk under the doorknob to keep my bratty little sister out. If for some reason they came home early, I could always claim that I thought she was home and didn't want to be disturbed while I did my homework.
With my heart pounding, I removed my clothes. Looking at myself in the mirror on my closet door, I was amazed at how much different I looked than Stephanie. Where she was all curvy, I was long and lean, and all of that wasn't because I was tall. Until the age of 14, I was still sometimes mistaken for a boy.
My breasts weren't all that big, but as I tweaked my nipples timidly, I realized they were a lot longer than Steph's. My breasts also didn't sag as much. They were shaped more like cones and as my nipples tightened the areolas surrounding them swelled up into smaller cones. This was one reason that I always wore heavy, baggy sweaters. It was pretty obvious when my nipples tightened and it could be really embarrassing...at least I thought so.
Wondering what I could use for lubricant since I didn't have a tube of that jelly stuff, I remembered what Steph had said about being turned on and parted my lips with one hand while I touched myself with the other. I was soaked! The fluid felt sort of like mucus but not quite so thick. I remember thinking naughtily that I liked the way my finger slid along the smooth skin.
I went over to the mirror, spread my legs open and sort of slouched back so I could see what it looked like. It was fascinating. Taking a hand mirror of the shelf over my bed, I sat on the edge, spread my legs and looked again.
There were several things different from Stephanie's sex. My inner lips were much bigger and darker in color, almost a purple. Perhaps it was because they were swollen. They also opened up much wider at the bottom where I could see the mouth of my vagina quite clearly. I wondered if other women looked at themselves like this.
The biggest difference which I noticed when I open my lips farther apart, and pulled up a bit as I'd seen Steph do, was that my clitoris was huge compared to hers. I touched it lightly and almost dropped the mirror from the feeling that caused. My heart immediately started beating harder and I got the odd impression that it was pumping up my clitoris because it swelled noticeably and turned a darker color as I continued to rub it lightly. Steph was right. The sensations were incredible. After a short time, it must have been 3/4 of an inch long and maybe 1/4 of an inch across. I squeezed it gently and that caused me to moan without meaning to.
Enough fooling around. I put down the mirror and lay back on my bed, spreading my legs and drawing up my knees until I was opened about as wide as I could comfortably be. Dipping my fingers into the moisture, I began rubbing myself, exploring everything thoroughly. My eyes closed and I was lost in the marvelous feelings my hands were producing.
For the next half hour, I teased and pulled at myself and felt something building inside me. I became wetter and wetter and it felt so naughty to scoop up the moisture that was flowing from me. Tentatively, I brought my fingers to my mouth and smelled, then tasted. It was very musky and strong but not unpleasant and it suddenly dawned on me that I'd smelled it in my sister's room a few times recently when I came in unexpectedly to borrow something. The little vixen!
As I got more excited, I began to rub my clit harder (I was beginning to get more comfortable with that word) and it felt incredible. Pulling and squeezing it made even stronger sensations. I noticed that my hips were moving and rocking and that my whole body felt hot.
Using my free hand, I began pulling at one nipple and then the other. Twisting them hard felt even better and soon I had myself panting. I remembered Steph telling me that I had to let go, that it wouldn't be as good if I held back, so I tried hard to do that.
In my head, I could see Tom and I imagined him lying on top of me, kissing my lips, neck and throat, and between my legs he was doing the same things I was.
"Now, Val, are you ready for me to put my penis inside you? Would you like me to?"
"Oh yes, Tom, please put it in me!"
I had only a dim idea of what an erect penis looked like (mostly from pictures spray painted underneath the bridge down by the nearby river, and as I imagined Tom's approaching my vagina, I came and came very hard.
I felt like the breath was being sucked out of my body, that my genitals were on fire and then all of a sudden exploded outward taking me with it. Even with my eyes shut I saw a blinding light as I writhed in exquisite agony.
Slowly coming down, I relaxed down into the bed and a big smile crossed my face. I was now a woman.
You'll laugh at the aftermath. My comforter was soaked. I freaked for a moment before I realized I could just wash it. I could say that I'd spilled some hot chocolate on it or something. It was easy.
The lie came easily and at once I was drowned in guilt. What had I done? It was a bad thing. God would punish me! I lived in terror for several days, waiting for something bad to happen. Of course it never did and before the week was out, I was back masturbating again. People were home so it wasn't quite as explosive, but I felt I was getting to know what to do.
So for the next couple of months, I explored my body and masturbated more and more frequently, until it was just about daily. The best time were when no one was home and I was sure they wouldn't be back. Then I could take my time and REALLY give myself a massive orgasm. I'd also do it in the shower, before going to bed. I was hooked.
Stephanie pestered me for awhile, asking how I liked it, did I feel comfortable enough to do it in front of her, did I want to see her do it again, but her interest made me uncomfortable. I was still struggling with my conscience and I felt like such a fraud standing in front of my Sunday school class, knowing that I had been writhing all over my bed 12 hours earlier.
I also found that I was getting sexually aroused easier when I was in social settings. It was now summer and there were picnics, I had a job waitressing and when I'd see a guy who turned me on, I'd imagine all sorts of wicked things and start getting wet. Worse, my clit would swell and protrude between labia and rubbing against my panties, I could easily have an orgasm if I wasn't careful.