You Can't Please Everybody

How my times do you hear that phrase, 'You can't please everybody or everyone'. It depends on who you're talking to. Somewhere in the world, it is said every single day.

Hello all. My name is William Baker. I was happily married for 26 years, 3months and 21 days. I met Julia at a Rick James concert in Cleveland, Ohio in 1985. Julia was a sight to behold. She had on the tightest jeans I had ever seen at the time. That was the first time I found out what a 'camel toe' was. I'd heard the saying but didn't have a clue what it meant till I met Julia. She had the sweetest smile and these sparkling green eyes. It was like looking at a lake at midnight; her eyes shimmered. I was smitten from that very first glance. I was at the concert with my brother Harry and my cousin Mike. Harry brought us along because his girlfriend Sarah could only go to the concert if her sisters came along.

Sarah was the oldest, Julia was the baby and Mike ended up with 6'1" 230 pound Martha. Martha scared me to death. I was 5'11" 185 and Mike was smaller than me.

Other than Martha being such a big girl, the night turned out great. And Mike relaxed and enjoyed Martha's company. Julia and I had a great time ourselves. I hated for the concert to end.

To make a long story short, Julia and I got married 6 months later. The wedding was a blast and didn't end till 6:30 the next morning. During the course of the night, Julia and I consummated our vows twice before midnight and once more before we left for our honeymoon.

The next 25 years were a blur. Somehow I was turning 46 with 4 kids: William Jr. 24, Mildred 22, Justin 21 and Hank 19.I didn't really like the name that Julia picked out for the kids but Mildred was her aunt's name and rest came from her favorite boy band. Anything to make my wife happy, like the old saying goes, "If momma's not happy then nobody's happy".

Julia was 45 and if I can say so, Julia was, is and always will be a hot little momma. For many of our friends, it was hard for them to believe that Julia was a mother of 4 grown kids. What they didn't know was Julia was a certified health nut. She ran, walked, jogged, worked out, ate right and fucked like a woman on a mission. I hate to admit it, but I had to get some black market little blue pills to keep up with her sometimes.

Everything was going fine until Hank left for college. That sparked some kind of change in Julia; she wanted sex more, started wearing really revealing clothes and was back to showing the camel toe again. I thought at first it was her being sexier for me until I saw her on the way to work in a black micro-mini skirt. There was something going on and I was going to find out what.

When Julia got home from work, I asked her to sit down. She looked at me and said she knew what I wanted to talk about but right now she didn't have the time.

"William, I have a date so I'll talk to you in the morning. I know you're upset with me breaking it you like this but you can either go with the flow or move out. If you file for divorce it will cost you too much and it will destroy the kids. In the end I will get half of everything and you'll be a lonely broke old man," said Julia. This was said with a total lack of respect, I got the feeling that this was a long time coming.

Over the past few years Julia had been showing signs of a lack of respect for me. Most people think just because you're soft spoken you must be some type of pussy or just a plan old wimp. I guess my need to keep the piece just wore me down. But this was something totally different, Julia must have lost her mind if she thinks she's going out and fuck some prick and come back like, I'm just that type of guy. You know the one; he sits there are cries over his beer about how his wife is fucking some guy in his bed. Whoa is me, my wittle feeling got hurt but I can't live without her. So for the next year he lets her fuck as many guys as she wants, then she leaves him anyway. No happening to me, you cheat and your ass is out the door.

"Julia" I will only say this once. If you have, think about, try, plan or ever fuck around on me, it will be the worst day of your life. Over the years, I made my feelings known about cheating wives. I've told you if you ever tried to make me a cuckold, you, your lover and everyone involved will pay."

She rolled her eyes and went upstairs to the bedroom. I went into the den and called Harry. I told him everything that was going on. "Harry, I hoped this day would never happen but if she goes through with it, the plan goes in to effect tomorrow. It was a plan that we devised back in college, if we ever got a divorce it would save us time and money. What Julia didn't know was, we didn't own anything. Well not the house anyway, her car was hers, just as I owned mine. But our house was in Harry's name, Harry's house was in Mike's name and Mike's house was in my name. Which Julia was not a party to because Mike got married before we did, it was my personal property. If we get a divorce, it might cause a problem with Mike and Harry's wives but we planned for that also. I hope she comes to her sense and changes her mind.

"While talking to Harry", I heard the front door slam. She had 2 hours from now to change her mind, after that fuck her. It was 8:30 pm.

It was the next morning, Julia was finally heading home. It was just after 10 am, Julia was worried about William, and she had called home to check on him several times that night and got no answer. Julia was thinking as she drove, trying to figure out how to get William onboard.

Last night was the best night of my life, I had sex with three young studs, my jaw, pussy and ass are sore but I fell great, it was worth it, hell William will be alright. How do I get William to let this happen regularly? I love him but I needed more than he can give. What I'll do is fuck him till he willingly becomes a cuckold. It will be hard on him but he knows he can't live without this pussy. He'll do it because he loves me that much.

That's was the plan Julia had but William had other plans.

When Julia got home, Harry's car was there and a U-Haul truck was backed in the drive way. Harry, Mike and William were loading boxes into the truck. Julia asked Harry what going on? Harry said the owner of the house wanted your shit packed and out the house. Julia got pissed and tried to stop them. Harry called the police. When the police arrived, the first officer asked for the owner of the house was. William raised his hand. The officer pulled William over to the car while the other officer took Julia around the truck so she could explain her side. While she was talking to the officer, William waved over Harry. William and Harry talked to the police for 10 minutes. Then the officers discussed the matter between the two of them for a few minute.

They both walked over to Julia and asked her to leave the property. Julia asked why should she be forced to leave her home and Harry be allowed to stay. The officer told her that the owner wanted her out; they told her it was a civil matter. It wasn't against the law for the owner to evict her. But if it was under 30 days she could sue him in small claims court but for the period in time she had to vacate and since her name wasn't on the title or mortgage, she had to go. Julia rolled her eyes at William and stormed off. William yelled, "Your shit will be at your mom's house in the next 20 minutes.

Julia didn't bother looking back. As far as she was concerned, William and Harry would pay for this. Julia didn't go to her mom's home. She went to Harry's house and told his wife Cindy what was going on. Cindy didn't like what Julia had done but she understood. She was feeling like life had been passing her by as well. Cindy called Harry on his cell phone and lit in to him about getting evolved with William and his stupid pride. Cindy let Harry know that sometimes women go through changes in their lives that they and may break a few rules trying to find themselves.

Harry sat and listened to his wife, then responded by saying "Cindy, if by breaking rules, you mean spending too much money, wreaking my truck or quitting your job and lying about it, those rules I can live with. But if you talking about going out and fucking a few guys, well then you're not the woman I married. And we need to go our separate ways."

Cindy thought about want Harry had just told her. Harry worked, he paid all the bills, she had her credit cards and access to all the money; not to mention Harry made love to her 3 to 4 times a week. And when she started to feel old, like she was sexy any more, Harry would come in throw her over was ever was available and fuck the shit out of her. It didn't happen often but when it did she felt so sexy that she was on top of the world. They went on vacations all over the world. Cindy pondered this for about 45 seconds. How would my life be without Harry? Cindy shook her head as if she was trying to shake off the cobwebs. My life isn't passing me by; Harry is my fucking life. Cindy asked Harry what time would he be home. Harry said in a couple of hours. Cindy said ok, told Harry she loved him and bye.

Then with fire in her eyes Cindy looked at Julia "GET THE FUCK OUT! Julia, you dumb ass, you fucked up your life and now you're trying to fuck up mine. I love my husband. He takes care of me. He pays for everything we have and he hasn't complained yet. He put our 3 kids through college and help each of them buy their first cars. He treats me like a queen and because you decided to slut around before you got too old, you've now fucked up your life. Did you know that William was planning on taking you to Spain? Get your ass out of my house before I become a moron and join you." Julia was starting to think maybe this was a mistake.

Julia left Cindy and went to her mother's.

Cindy on the other hand, was on the way to Victoria's Secrets. She looked for the sexiest thing she could find and bought it. The whole trip Cindy mumbled to herself, "I am not fucking up my life, you stupid bitch." Cindy then stopped at Jay's Adult bookstore bought a bottle of lube and two porn flicks. When Harry walked into the house, there laid Cindy in the middle of the dining room table with the bottle of lube in one hand and bottle of Hersey's chocolate on the other. She smiled and said "Honey the choice is yours."

Needless to say Harry had a great fucking night.

William didn't hear from Harry till Monday.

With Julia safely out of the house, it was time for the second part of the plan. The second part was getting Julia to suffer, the pain she caused him was too much to bear, but William was going to cry of spilled milk. Julia would suffer like he did.

When Julia got to her mom's house, she had her swagger back. William won't know what hit him when she was done. I'm going to take his ass to the cleaners. I will own him and everything he owns.

A few days later Julia wondered why William hadn't tried to call her. Julia had emailed, texted and left hundreds of messages for William. She knew he was getting the messages. William was just being stubborn. In Julia eyes, William couldn't live without her. Julia thought at this very moment: William is thinking about me now. She was right he was, he was wondering why he put up with her shit so long. William had always loved her unconditionally or so she thought.

Julia's mother wondered how long her daughter had been looking at life through rose colored glasses. Well it was time to wake her blind ass up. Life is hard then you die.

"Julia, do you have a maid?" asked her mom. The question woke Julia out of her daydream, "Julia, do you have a maid?"

"No Ma'am," said Julia.

"Then get your lazy ass in here and clean up your mess, come get to child. Day light is burning and you have thing that need to be done." said Julia mom. Julia hoped she would've be back home soon. She knew her mom was a slave driver.

It had been 4 days of hell living with her mom. Clean this, wash that, move you lazy ass. Julia didn't know how much more she could take.

"Julia Baker, is that you?" Julia didn't recognize the man but he must know her from somewhere. Julia said yes it me, he was bad looking so she gave him a nice smile. He handed her a package and said "You've been served" and walked away.

Served, served what? Julia thought.

Julia mom came outside to check on Julia and found her passed out in the front yard. They were divorce papers from William. Julia's mom turned on the water hose and sprayed her in the face. Julia sputtered awake. Julia looked at the paper and was about to pass out again when her mom sprayed her again.

"Julia, get your lazy ass up and come in the house and quit napping in the yard

"Mom what am I going to do?" asked Julia.

"Julia I blame your father for this. He blew sunshine up your ass for years. If we had taught how to think and act like a woman, instead of your dad treating you like a princess, you wouldn't be here now. Julia, you know how your father and I grew up.

Life on the farm was hard, long hour, long days and short nights. Your father wanted better for you so he sacrificed for you to have a better life. And you spat on his sacrifice, your father loved William like he was one of our sons. Your father would turn over in his grave if he knew you'd be come a confused whore. I listened to those calls you made to William, how in the hell is it his fault you couldn't keep your legs closed. I wanted to come slap you in the face and kick you dumb ass out of my house. You just set the best thing in your life free. Julia there are million women out there that want a man like William. He's a catch. He's faithful, works hard and doesn't complain. He would have died for you. And you threw it all away because you're feeling ugly and you're getting older. So what, you're not going to live forever. It's not going to happen, we all live and we all die, some faster than other. If your father was alive today I would be balling his eyes out and you would be sleeping on the porch, but instead, I'm explaining life to 45 year old dumb ass. Julia, we didn't raise a moron but that what you turned out to be. Julia your pussy isn't made out of silver gold or platinum, there isn't a Superman cape hanging out of it. Just so you know the only difference between fucking and making love is the feeling you have for the person who you're having sex with."

"Let's go back to the day you lost your husband. You went out and got fucked but where did you go after you finished. You were trying to go home. Why?

Julia thought for a second. "It's my home mom, it's where I belong."

"And that's why you're sitting here alone now, Julia," said her mom.

"You gave away William's home, your body was his home and you fouled it. You made it unclean. To William, your pussy was gold and had a cape hanging out of it. Your body took him to new heights but now you're just another whore that lost her mind and is blaming her husband. He isn't young, hot, buff or exciting but I have a question for you, honey. Where are your studs now? Julia's mom looked around. "I don't see them anywhere. Where is your husband Julia? William is in what you used to call home and don't think for a minute he doesn't miss you. He does but he won't for long. Some lonely woman with bigger breasts, a sexier ass and whose pussy is made of platinum will come along and help him forget you.

But then isn't that what you did to him? You forgot he was your husband. Well, now he won't be.

Her mom hated to talk to her this way, but she had to get Julia to see the real world. Julia had always lived in her own little world. Now she was going to realize life isn't easy. Julia was about to get a dose of reality.

***

Julia and her lawyer sat across the table from William and his lawyer. Julia hired John Patterson, he was known for helping women get large settlements. Julia hoped that would get William to agree to get counseling. She hoped he would call off the divorce. John recognize William's lawyer, he just couldn't place where he'd seen him and figured he was a newbie. Fate can play some cruel jokes. William's lawyer started, "Mr. Patterson, my name is Kyle Jacobs. I will be representing Mr. Baker."

John looked he had gotten smacked with a restraining order. Kyle Jacobs was from the firm Jacobs, Jackson, Beard and Hall from Wall Street in New York City.

"Excuse me my client and I need a brief moment." John said. Julia wanted to know what was going on.

Julia and her attorney step in to the hallway.

"Julia is your husband rich?" asked John.

"Not rich but we do okay, Why asked?" Julia.

"Julia, the lawyer that is representing your husbands is the law review's best divorce attorney in the nation. He has represented senators, billionaires, millionaires and at least half of the fortune 500. In his last case the husband was worth 12 billion, his wife was asking for half. Old Kyle got her to settle for a condo in Harlem and $25,000.00. Half of the lawyers on his staff are former judges. His personal lawyer is a former Supreme Court judge. How can he afford that firm?" asked John. Julia was finally starting to worry; she was finally seeing how much she had fucked up.

Inside the conference room

William, you know you should call me and Mike more, after all we are related said Kyle. What John and Julia didn't know was Kyle, Mike, Harry and William we're cousins. They haven't gotten together often, and since the last family reunion was ten years ago, William remember that Julia didn't want to go, he wonder if she was cheating then.

They went back in. William and Kyle were talking about their upcoming golf trip.

"Kyle, you caught me by surprise. I had planned to ask for counseling. But I find myself wondering what you have planned for my client" asked John.

Kyle said, "John, it's simple. Julia walks out of here with the clothes on her back, nothing more, and nothing less." John didn't know that there wasn't anything to bargain with. The house was Harry's. Julia owned her own car, had her own checking and savings account, just like William. So what was left, nothing Julia just didn't know it.

Julia jumped up and yelled, "NO FUCKING WAY! He can have it all. I just want William back." Then she calmed down. "William will you speak to me alone for a few minutes please" William looked at Kyle and nodded, both lawyers left the room.

"William", I am truly sorry. I fucked up a wonderful marriage and hurt the man I love. I will sign everything away to you. I don't care about any of it. I just want you back. I don't want to lose you to some hot sexy little momma, but I will share if I have to. William I am begging, please just think about it.

Please don't end us without trying at least once." William looked at Julia. She had always been beautiful to him but now all he saw was an old whore. But he still loved her. William told the lawyers to come back in.

"Julia", sign the papers. You'll get nothing, no alimony, no retirement and nothing. If you do this, we won't file the papers. They will be held in a safety deposit box for 1 year. Julia, you fucked it up and somehow, you'll have to fix it. Julia, one year then you're SOL. (shit out of luck)

Will you agree to Julia?

Julia asked "Where do I sign?" John told her that once she signed it you can't take it back it for good. Julia signed away everything for a chance to prove to William she loves him.

"William, I went a little crazy for a while. But I'd live in a trash can behind the house and drink dog piss just for a chance with you."

William didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. William and Kyle walked out. Julia was happy and went to her mom's house to get her belongs. When she gathered everything she could carry in her car, she drove home, humming all the way. William would never regret giving her this chance.