All Comments on 'The True Master Ch. 00'

After all, how long do you play with a toy? I'll play a new video game constantly for a few weeks but once it's finished, I put it in a shelf and leave it.

How would a human toy be any different?

This story is actually a good piece of the genre. Time and effort was put in. I would read a subsequent addition if it comes.

As for the shit for brains comment, I would ask that commentator, what does it say about your brains that you read the story, or that you are even here on this site? F. Scott Fitzgerald doesn't write here you know.

Whackdoodle,

So you play a video game, get bored and put it away. Then what do you do? You buy another and start playing all over again, don't you? Over and over again the pattern goes, doesn't it? Ohhh.....

good story

I thought this was exceptionally well written. Hard to find well written pieces in this genre (understandable I suppose). Well done! Hope to see future writings.

I enjoyed reading this chapter. Don't let the negative comments stop you. These people are content in reading someone else's submissions, and make disparaging comments. Meanwhile, they lack the creativity, or courage to branch out and write something on their own.

I look forward to further chapters!!

.....against an injuror not able to prevent the revenge...

Too many technical issues with the writing to discuss, just complain that you didn't put a reasonable effort into editorial work, leaving this piece more difficult to follow than enjoy. Too bad, it was an interesting premise....

The naming of the characters combined with the premise.... it reads like alternate universe fanfiction. This amuses me. (If you haven't seen it, Dollhouse is a really good TV show.)

And well written.

But please, please, please correct the improper use of your/you're throughout: it's distracting.

Shame all the stories have same description

It was a really, well written story you did... There are a few mistakes in there...

There's only one I would really, like to point out though.... slave is not with a capital S it's lower as she is a slave and slaves have NO right. her Master does. When you had in there "who do you belong to?" " I am your Slave Master" it should have been. "i am Your slave, Master." comma after slave and Master. If you don't than it looks like the Master is talking, not the slave. Master is always capital M and slave is always lower case s. slaves NEVER over power their Master/Owner.

other then the few mistakes. it's a really well written story. You should ask for some one to edit your work, or re look over before publishing it. You will than get less lectures about how you write the story... :)

The titles of the story should be different for each Chapter you do so others could know what they are on in terms of what they are reading. Ie. Chapter 1 Caroline is converted into a slave.

Chapter 2 Caroline is now Master's toy.

some thing on the lines of that, so others don't get confused.

keep up the good story line! :)

While I enjoyed the plot, the frequent grammar mistakes, especially not knowing the difference between "you're" and "your," made reading annoying. I suggest getting an editor to review your work before posting it.