All Comments on 'The Dark Lady Ch. 01'

I couldn't finish. Started ok but fell apart quickly. Abandoned it half way through page three. One star I'm afraid and I don't give many of those.

Agree with anon below. Role play is great 1v1 but don't change the personas of 6 people.

Just made a lot of the interaction silly and juvenile. Very athletic, but passionate and romantic? No. Hopefully just a stumble; we'll see.

I'm sooooo confused! Too many characters, double identities, etc. are tough to keep track of. I'm going to try Ch. 02, just because I'm a big fan of SierraSprite.

sadly i don't have the photographic memory that he & his mom have.

so the name changes & complex roleplay was a bit of a brain bender

it's possible to get away with those sort of things further into a tale. Once the reader has a firm grasp of the protagonists/characters & the interrelationships .

BUT ... to throw something like that into the story so early , risks alienating the reader & the reader losing interest in the tale & ditching the story.

reading your back catalogue of tales after stumbling accross your new story

Trading in Strange Places ..

5 stars

"Dark and Tangled" was the motif. Your comments suggest it had the intended effect.

My thanks to the many readers who so enthusiastically stayed with Theo and his friends through 11 parts and more than 100K words!

- Sierra

Seems like a familiar story line... albeit well written, as most of your work is.

I don't think the role play scene did have the intended effect. I was very confused. Not in a mysterious and enigmatic way, but in a WTF, I'm so confused and considering dropping this kind of way.

BluJ

I appreciate your talent.

Thanks for sharing.

the exchange of names is confusing and the purpose for it is absent ... good reading otherwise