All Comments on 'Shaman Chronicles Ch. 02'

Great chapter, really loving the story keep up the good work

Great story looking forward to the next chapter asap.

This is a great story so far. The characters are real and have a bit of depth. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to easing more. Mechmanas.

I really couldn't tell that English was your second language. You are writing better than many native speakers write. Here are a couple word usage issues to look for or correct in your future writings: of or off, form or from, man or men, where or were.

Thanks for sharing

This is fantastic, PLEASE continue.

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Great job with the story. Characters are developing nicely as well. I think the kid should get ready for the opposite sex soon

Jarko peeled of his cloths

SHOULD BE

Jarko peeled of his CLOTHES

pissed of look

SHOULD BE:

pissed OFF look

After breakfast ,our

SHOULD BE:

After breakfast, our

NOTE: A COMMA IS NEVER PRECEDED BY A SPACE, THE ABOVE IS ONE OF SEVERAL ERRORS OF THIS SORT

I'm really enjoying this story. You're a fantastic writer.

A few quick typos I noticed, though they aren't that big of deal, just thought you might want to know for future reference.

I see you use "of" instead of "off" quite a bit. Just FYI.

Also, it's "eye-to-eye," not "eye in eye."

By "kneepits," did you mean the back of the knee?

Thanks for posting!!!

You used the term:

Oxes should be Oxen

Lied should be Lay, as in the knife lay on the grass

In the past it was normal for a farm boy to be familiar with sex, both animal and human. So the whole brothel sequence is a little out.

Reading was a suprisingly common skill (though not writing) in medieval times as land ownership, wills, marriage contacts and court cases were very important.

P.S. I am using UK English grammar and spelling not US English grammar and spelling.

. . good work , suggest as an exercise trying to emulate the style of a great or favorite writer . Your writing is good and your sense of story is very good but great writing is seamless and you seem to be well past the basics and ready for more advanced techniques ......