All Comments on 'Corporate Family Dinner Ch. 02'

First I want to give justbobkc MEGA props for ' trying ' to smoothly insert business subplot , abbreviated sadist boss/bull POV, cheating superficially remorseful wife and initially hapless husband who is getting ready to eject from sundered marriage. Matt Moreau 's endings are painful. BUT he is the master of giving seamlessly switching POVs with credible dialogue and inserting economic angles.

The crash course in computer biz/ info dump didn't blend with extramarital jizz. But kudos to author for trying to take it to next level. I also love that husband is pretending to be playing possum for wife's infidelity and is planning payback. ChillyWilly has a couple classic stories in that vein as well.

It's also positive that while wife isn't depicted as sociopathic slut , she has at least a twinge of conscience for damage done. This cheater portrayal has just a touch of nuance missing from most Loving Wife stories.

The boss portrait , alas, is way over the top for too many reasons to list. Overall the story fails but it's an interesting failure . justbobkc definitely worked hard on this. There were both admirable elements to laud and amauterish missteps to critique aplenty. I thank justbobkc for sharing.

Ive got to hand it to ya ya tried to make it hot but after reading so many stories like this i just read the first 200 words the the last 200 and say yep just like the others.

Well this chapter was sure disappointing. Think of keep of went way to far on the weekend in New York with the "bosses". And not nearly far enough with the effects on Bob and their family life. All in all, this part seemed disconnected to the first chapter... But hey, keep trying. Not all stories turn out bad, nor do all stories turn out good.

I was pretty harsh on chapter one. At least I can work out who's telling the story this time, whether or not I like it.

Better than part 1...but still has some issues!! The main one is still how a company survived so long with these kind of CEO's!!! How could it be that this was the first husband to rebel? Let's see where all this is going...The wife we know how she will end: Being a drug addict whore!!! 2* for now, I'll rate the story as a whole in the end...

Forced BDSM, job pay based on sexual performance? A CEO that likes to physically hurt women and their husbands? Drugs? Gangbangs?

This is a PR and legal nightmare and instead of illustrating that, you spend half a page talking about how Ross Perot got his start. Interesting history but it nothing to further your story.

And if his bosses got where they did based on their wives whoring themselves out, then why didn't he say so on the first page instead of talking about the unsubstantiated rumours that he put no credence in.

Always go with your guts, instincts,feelings whatever it's called. Mine were telling me to skip this story. They were spot on!

I didn't read this chapter. I spent 5 minutes skimming through. A paragraph here, one paragraph there. That was a terrible mistake. I don't do right by justbobkc. Also it doesn't help me enjoy or even understand this story. So I am bailing. Maybe at a future date I'll come back to it.

Gave you 2*s for this story justbobkc. I will give another story of yours the complete attention it deserves. Thank you for your efforts.

I am not very nice today as

AMerryman

And leave her cryin-in-the-rain and I might have some stars for you

WAY TOO MUCH back story.... If it was a fucking novel it would have almost acceptable but not for a short story.

The sex scenes, or whatever they were, were way over the top... I read the first couple and then just skimmed the rest...

The wife is a whore... enough said...

Too bad he didn't have a video and unless his wife comes

forward he won't be able to sue... And word of mouth?

They'd been doing this for a while and no one complained???

Talk about wimps... A late night attack on the CEO group and couple of well placed tire iron shots, and they won't be fucking anyone anymore...

Someone needs to go a pair and stop them...

This women must have a lot of loose screws in her head the way you are writing this story. How can a educated women screw around on a loving husband and not expect consequences. I can understand if she had a drug habit but that is not the case. There is no way she can justify her actions, turning into a whore , prostituing herself,it makes no sense. So he has a plan to move on. She is heading to a miserable ending for her life. So how did you finish this weird story. It is all over the place . Did we really need a lesion on IBMs business practices. .??.?

Just another prostitute posing as a wife. She's too stupid to be either. Her impending demise will not be satisfying. She is acting so brainless that the story is like reading about the sex life of a mentally retarded person locked in an insane asylum. What could be erotic or exciting about that? Unless you're a real pervert.

for effort and content and because the asshole of LIT didn't like it!!

Chapter 3 will be live tomorrow.

I am halfway thru writing chapter 4 and it's going pretty fast. It will be a minimum of a fairly long short story, if maybe not quite novella length. I mean I'm talking 6 to 8 total chapters even if no one is reading them by then.

BTW - how much sex IS too much on a basically erotic literature site? Everyone seems to have a different opinion.

And has no one ever seen the classic movie "The Apartment"? Or heard of Herman Cain and the charges leveled against him? Or Bill Cosby? Or Bill Clinton??? (Not that I ever believed those charges about Cain but a lot of people evidently did...just saying.)

OK - probably Anonymous hasn't.

:-)

... all of the salary strategies of IBM, et alia.

That seem to be puff to fill out a a so so boilerplate story that's been done before.

More material would be nice, but material that MATTERS... not trivia on corporate policy.

You got a bye in Ch 1 for effort; not here, as this chapter was just a drag...

Mover along folks, not much to read here

I'm wet and horny and want the next chapter. Xoxoxoxo Annette

If any story is a BTB story this is it. The husband needs to destroy everyone and everything in this story, wife, bosses, businesses, friends,... EVERYTHING! Carpet-bomb and leave everything and everyone a smoldering ruin.

It varies.

For most of us, when the sex stops stimulating us, it's too much and we start skimming.

But some stories are about BDSM, rape, and fetishes that various readers find totally distasteful. Since NONE of that sex is stimulating, my measure of "too much" doesn't always hold true. In that case, any at all would be too much.

Your girl Elaine crossed that "too much" line a long time back.

The story is all over the place. You are eliminating tension as you write instead of building it. For instance, we already know they are divorcing. We already know he is striking out as an ox pulling a venture capitalist wagon. We already know he could have merited a bigger promotion than her whoring would get him, even though she still hasn't told him yet what loot her whoring procured. She still hasn't told him anything, but since hubby gets to use Omniscient POV, he already knows of her repeated round-heeled negotiations.

You have already hinted that Big Mutha likes her, so maybe you're foreshadowing that he will be her new guy after she gets home and gets dumped. Frankly, will I care? While I like my fantasy women to be hot, and she is, the only reason I care about her at all is that she might still end up as a single mom. Little girls need more than a whoring, drug-addled life-in-the-fast-lane kind of mom.

Your story reads like a Jen and Mike wannabe that never gets off the ground. If reconciliation is out of the question before Ch. 2 ends, why give us 6 more chapters?

By the way, the word 'family' in business may not always imply that kids are welcome, but it NEVER implies Adult Behavior Tolerated and Risqué Attire Expected.

Have something to indicate the change, a line of some kind of special characters. SOMETHING!

Aside from a short time by himself, did he really risk STD's, his self-respect, etc. to screw wife's buddy? He easily could have complained of illness, etc. to ask for a rain check. At least he could have taped some conversations with wifey and her friend about her sex sessions with other men.

She hasn't talked to her husband but she's talked to Susan and doesn't waste any time telling him she knows he cheated. But they seem to make nothing out of that fact. Why would he give in and screw Susan anyway? That made no sense. All the time wasted on the technical aspects of the businesses was just boring as was the sex scene. You need to move this along at a faster pace and concentrate on the story between husband and wife. All this extraneous nonsense isn't making the story either plausible or interesting.

1 star.

I had to completely skip over all the fucking boring and unrelated business SHIT. Pure 100% shit that has absolutely NOTHING to do with your pathetic story. The story itself a FUCKING JOKE. I feel like all the writers on this site are poor blue collar workers who know nothing about business or people with money. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK POWERFUL MEN HAVE TO COMMIT CRIMES TO GET LAID??????? Are you a broke, pathetic loser? Do you not understand that there are fucking gorgeous, amazing women that can be bought everywhere on this entire planet? Why do you sad fucks have to pretend that some ridiculous wife is going to get turned into a whore by a wealthy man. Why the fuck would he bother?? I would love this to happen to me, I'd laugh then tell the asshole to hand over all his shares in the company or I'd have him arrested... yes, justbobkc smart wealthy people don't do shit like this because it's illegal, and they need what they do to be a SECRET!

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

looks like the asshole vastiesmith2/bonnytaylor2 is back. eat shit cunt

“that Elaine had to go out of town suddenly for a huge real estate deal she was working” – Hell, I would have told her mother EXACTLY why Elaine wasn’t available!

Kay and HER husband may be “open marriage” types, but BOB never agreed to that with Elaine!

....obvious to anyone but the most dense, that she's a whore and a slut and has no concept of wedding vows or loyalty, commitment, anything like that.

I guess they should have talked more, so this wouldn't have been a surprise.

He won't stand still for that and has an out, but need s to get his ducks in a row before he moves on. It looks like she'll have no trouble making a living as a top real estate agent of a certain kind, the kind that doesn't mind fucking anybody that cares to, to 'seal the deal'.

You probably could have gotten this story told in a more abbreviated fashion.... though the detailed and lurid sex scenes would likely have suffered.

Then there's those pesky kids....I wonder when hubby will realize they may not even be his...and if they are, when their needs will play a more than cursory role in this tale of woe.

He is a decent man, then he finds out his wife is a whore so he decides he can be one to and fuck his whore wife's whore friend? What the fuck? What about doing your damn job? What about being a decent man if only for your daughter? How did all that fly out the window if it was ever true? Some major fucking plot flaws here. Black holes in the reality of the plot.

"Not real good, I just want to go home." – A little late for THAT now!

“If he really does love you, he will forgive you” – That’s such utter bullshit! If SHE loved HIM she wouldn’t have done what she did that NEEDED forgiveness!

“Quid pro quo” – She’s ALREADY done at least PART of her part, maybe there’s no reward if she stops, but there shouldn’t be any punishment either!

Your fans are sure all faggots and perverts!!! Which normal people will approve to that crap!!! And the oversweet applaus of your fans is only their lechery!!!

Why do so many authors in this genre insist on filling up space with the boring ass particulars of whatever business the protagonist has to be involved in. Did anyone slog through that crap?

the P and the DS shows the PDRT that the FGV is FUCKED so please P and STOP the w and RITING

is making my index finger itch.......

Worse than the first...

Why didn't hubby tell his scum bag cheating slut wife to fucking go to hell don't bother to ever come home? Cuz that is what I wid have done. Let her know she is a whore and spoil her fun orgy for her. It is the least he could do! It is the weekend do he can't even start his divorce yet. He is pretty fucked completely.

Enjoyed the story and the detailed IBM info. Some people may have worked in that environment and it was quite realistic. Sex scenes were heavy. More please