All Comments on 'Alan's Thoughts Ch. 03'

The story is hot and it flows well except when you leave grammar and spelling errors like "weren't aren't" and "Rained" for Raina. Just a little more care would make this a perfect story.

Hey I'm a big fan of your work like episode 1 and two were one of my favorite literoticas of all time. I really want you to make this a long series as it taps into mind control that not many do.

I think you should play to your strengths and what makes your story unique compared to other mindless sex ones. Your earlier ones had good use of mind control like the masturbation at the cubicle and forcing thoughts into others (the bubble butt girl waiting in line when he was testing powers)

I think your stories are my favorites because there are sexual encounters that aren't straight up sex and seducing/forcing the person on the girl and just having normal sex.

I see you going towards some lesbian sex...? That in looking forward to but if I were to be as bold as to offer some suggestions on some things you could write about,

Masturbation (not direct sex, in weird places maybe? Would further the mind control concept into making them do stuff they normally wouldn't)

Short term changes to personality (getting someone to not wear panties/a bra for a short time. Not unlike the original girl to dress skimpily but also maybe mental changes like make them ok with watching porn and stuff in public or making them really down to fuck)

I guess I just am into the mind control thing and I feel as if i wanted straight up sex I have many other things I could read., But you're unique and don't have all scenes be straight up sex

Ty for writing this amazing series I hope it gets to double digits

Great story - loving the series so far.

Always love a good Robert Jordan name use. :)

Nice & straightfoward in it's own way but nice character interactions and very hot scenes. I do agree with one of the other comments about needing better proofing on this one (rode, not road for example.) To be honest, it's only distracting because the majority is fine, so the little errors stand out. (I don't mind helping with that if you want, just message me.)

Great story. Can't wait for part 4

"You're not some sort of sex god in disguise, are you?"

Yes, yes I am, lol.

I'm enjoying the story for what it is, but it seems like Alan is quite reckless in his use of his powers. I wonder how that will play out in the rest of the series. Since he only has power over women he's attracted to, it seems there would be a lot of possibilities for things to blow up in his face or to get someone innocent hurt.

That was great!!!!!!

5/5

Laurel: "You have a free pass. Fuck any hole, do anything." Alan: well in that case... plain old missionary please (OK I'll be a little adventurous and add a creampie finish). Seriously? Should have fucked her pussy then rammed her ass (hopefully anal cherry popping), then fucked her face, then finished in her pussy. It was rather underwhelming sadly. And why the fuck would he implant the thought that she can cum like that with Josh? I hope that doesn't stick. That would be boring. She's YOUR whore now Alan. Fuck Josh seriously. We don't need boring good-guy MCs. Let him be a bit of a bad boy.

I wonder why the author decided to give Alan average equipment. I mean usually these stories stretch it a bit and give the MC larger than average stuff, even if it's not technically needed. Like in this case he can basically make them cum on command as hard as he wants, but still, as was demonstrated by Raina, it would be nice to have aesthetics to match the performance, and perhaps he'd be less reliant on his mental abilities. Well not a big deal; just a little odd I thought.