All Comments on 'Second-hand Destruction'

Not bad

Who want's to be married to a cheating slut? How much better is her encourager and accomplice than the slut? If cheating was a crime (which it is) then Jackie was guilty of aiding and abetting adultery. She was guilty and deserves the same punishment or at least the same consequences for her actions. There is no mention of kids, her husband has to question whether he'd really want her to be the mother of his kids. She has proven to be defective. The best thing to do is to dump her now so that you don't regret it 20 years down the line.

It wasn't bad. That's a long way from great. Best thing posted today, since TTT's next chapter didn't post. This will have to do. Not worth reading the other two, that's for sure. This was worth reading and I'll read another by this author. I'll give it a three.

Don't be a lazy A-Hole and fall into this "Flash" bull shit. It's a poor excuse for a writer who lacks enough creativity to finish the damn story!

Keep writing, no "cruel" comments from me.

Ye reap what ye sow. What goes around comes around. Karma will get you in the end.

All apply

Five Stars

Thanks for the offering.

We don't often see the effects of cheating from this point of view.

nice work.

Refreshing to see a story from this point of view

No loving wife, No sex, and yet its posted here.????

Well written, a good story, but she is the main character in the story...Her friend was just a player she used to have her own Harlequin's story. And being the main character, no matter how good the story is, leaving her destiny open, lowers its interest, at least for me. I always say that the writers are the fathers (or mothers) of their characters, and they are the only ones to know their destinies. The readers can agree or not with what happens to them. Keep writing...3*

Had a hard time tracking who was who.

and an interesting point of view.

The names were confusing, as someone else has already pointed out. And the grammar was very weak, but still, a good first effort.

Only thing missing was the obligatory quotes from the Bible or Book of Mormon. But then the readers you wrote this for, the impotent 4 inch club, will love it.

1*

their spokesman is already on his ex-teacher grammar soap box........

If I were her husband, I would have two words to say: Big deal. If my wife didn't cheat then I don't care what she does or says to someone else.

So his wife cheated, big deal. Doesn't affect me. I would say that he needs to man up and either divorce his wife or forgive her but it's not my problem.

Good read and the perspective was not only unique but a nice breath of fresh compared to most LW stories. Docked a star for it being open ended and not dealing with the ramification of her actions and her character quality as a person.

Could you not follow the names it was simple. Learn to pay attention! Good story well done for a flash story.

I'm a little confused about the moral of this story. Jackie's marriage is in trouble because she encouraged her friend to have an affair? Why? What does that have to do with her own marriage? Are we supposed to assume that if she encouraged the affair, then she's likely to have one herself? So, she's guilty of a thoughtcrime? Show me a wife who has never entertained a thought of having an affair, and I'll show you a fictional wife that exists only in the electronic pages of this website!

I appreciate the uniqueness of this plot. I think that if you had expanded it a bit, explored these characters a little further, and put a little more meat on these bones, you'd have a quality tale. As it stands, it's a flash story with a dubious plot.

A couple of random comments on the writing:

-- Your decision to use the past perfect tense was distracting. Reading "had" over and over made it difficult to follow the story.

-- Including dialog in this story would have allowed us to relate better to the characters.

Congrats on your first story. The more you write, the better writer you'll become.

Concise without being too quick or without detail, the characters, while not so developed, are good for a flash story. No major mistakes that distract from the story.

A longer version would probably require more detail on why Jackie does what she does to Pam, why Pam goes along with it, etc. I can fully see why Jackie's husband would be angry. I do think your 'ending' is perfect for the story; resolution here would be less than letting the reader think about and invent their own.

and it's well written. Thanks and please submit more

Loving wives is a tough category to start in. The commenters are in two camps so you will get trashed and applauded no matter how good your work is. Plus add in the ones who cannot think for themselves so you must end your story by saying "they all lived happily ever after" or "no grass will grow on the field where battle was lost". I gave you 5 stars as it was a very good flash story.

Now that he knows how she encouraged her friend to have one and destroy her marriage, her husband will be suspicious of her own fidelity and honesty. He may not divorce her, but he'll be constantly questioning her, bugging their house and her phone, keylogging her computer, etc. Because he's a husband in a LW story on Literotica.

Please provide a follow up

only indicates the slamming shut of others, TK U MLJ LV NV

Pam was weak minded. What kinda grown ass woman let another grown ass woman talk her into fucking up her marriage? A braindead one, that's who😕😕..This isn't high school. Jackie is a horrible person and if I was Pam, that bitch would have to see me.

Hope to see more of your writings

what kind of an asshole commenter reads all these stories and then bitches about them like a little fag!? YOU ANNONY!!!!

Really? You don't think that a wife that encourages her friend to have an affair demonstrates a lax attitude towards fidelity?

I'd certainly have a long conversation with my wife about it. We really don't know to what extent Jackie encouraged this affair. There isn't enough detail included in this story to reach any conclusion about Jackie's motives or ethical shortcomings. I think it's the knee-jerk reaction of the LW crowd to simply assume the worst when it comes to the morality of a female character.

Maybe Jackie simply thought the idea was exciting. Although she'd never think of doing it herself, she found her friend's exploits thrilling in a naughty and taboo way. If women didn't think adultery is exciting there wouldn't be such a huge market for trashy novels, soap operas, and TV dramas about adulterous neighbors, doctors, etc.. To suggest that Jackie is guilty of a divorce-worthy crime simply for having a naughty thought reflects poorly on the people who make that assertion.

By the way, it's a ridiculous plot device to arrange it so that her cheating friend writes Jackoe detailed emailed confessions, putting herself at risk of blackmail or retribution. I guess it's a necessary device to get to the "moral of the story", but there are better, more plausible, ways to get there.

First attempt, good effort. I would like to see you get a little more ambitious and a little less ambivalent :-). This is a scene, and a pretty good one. No one is expecting cradle to grave.

Now, try your hand at character development, plotting and multiple scenes. I think you'll do just fine.

I think everyone gets the point here. There are those for whom "moral," and their names, are mutually exclusive, but they can be safely scoffed at. It's easy to see that if one has no respect for another's marriage, they are likely to have none for their own. You were not ambivalent about that. Good job. Four stars from me.

....by the realities of flash stories, you managed to get the point well made and adequately wrap us up in the characters.

We've all known someone like this....that incites, cajoles, prods and convinces others into things they normally wouldn't and never should do. I suppose, they get some sort of sick, vicarious thrill out of the outcome. Perhaps it's the disasters that follow that gets them off.

I especially like the twist tha, in this case, the victim finds out who did the inciting and spreads some of the 'hurtin'-sauce' back in that direction.

Too many of those in my own experience for it to be 'just an idea'.

My ex-wife's best friend, apparently jealous of her marriage to me (like I'd 'taken" her away from her best friend), non too discretely set about creating discord, then the destruction of my marriage. Well, it worked. It was planned, but I 'caught' the two of them doing a biker. Spent some jail time for my response, but managed to get out of the marriage without too much fiscal damage. My ego, on the other hand was long gone. Took years to get something like it back.

My kid brother was like that, having some sick thrill from starting fights with or between others. I guess that's why I chased him down and put him through a storefront window and, on another occasion, the side door,of our house. Took him years to get that out of his system. He took a lot of beatings from people he'd annoyed over the years.....slow learner, I guess. Me too, I suppose.

The woman at work that did shit like that eventually became the focus of a list of employee complaints that they fired her. In the great socialist republic of californication, that practically takes an act of god....like a tsunami.....just gobs of incident reports in their file, multiple warnings, corrective action reports.....it just goes on for reams.

So, I relate, I liked it, it wasn't entirely unique, but rare enough in these environs to warrant the expression of hope for much, much more. I hope you'll do more. I especially like that you give us enough information (both implied and explicit) about your characters to make them seem more dimensional than they, in reality, are. It seems a gift to imply that much in so few words. I hope you'll delight us again soon!

Thank you.

Congratulations, your very first story provides what many who comment here have asked for—a story without the same old much used plots. There’s no denying this one has a different twist.

As first stories go, you’ve made a good try, and as swingerjoe says, you’ll get better. BTW there are more than a few good writers on this site who’ll try to encourage rather than discourage a new writer, but few are as dependable as swingerjoe. Personally I always consider his advice to other writers with the intent of applying it to my work—that is, if I ever kick this case of writer’s block I’m now fighting.

Now about your work…you’ve shown you can, ‘think outside the box.’ and you have the courage to post work in a category known for being a shark tank. This bodes well for your future writing.

Under the heading of constructive criticism, I also had a hard time following all the characters, and I think maybe it’s because you couldn’t develop them much in such a short story. Next time try using dialogue along with narrative to show us something about what drives your two main characters at least.

Refer to your quote from Tom…anytime you have a long dialogue where the same character is speaking for more than one paragraph, you put quotation marks at the beginning of the first paragraph and each paragraph after that, but only the last paragraph has ending quotation marks. (Yeah, I know it ain’t a big thing, but small things all add up to a better score.)

I gave you a four since it’s your first effort, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of your work. cd

And then you realize you wrote your comment in the article title and are to lazy to change it. Lol

While I don't think she's ruined her marriage her husband may be a tad pissed at her for awhile. She was living her fantasy through her friend. That makes her a lousy friend, not a divorced wife. Can't give this a real high score because you left it unfinished, but it's a solid "3".

We don't always need 20-page, multi-part submissions. What's important is to tell the story, and you did that.

I'd say that if my spouse ever actively encouraged dishonesty in another person, that would certainly constitute "irreconcilable differences." One does not have to consistently expose cheaters, liars, and thieves, but to actually try to increase the likelihood they will commit the act ? They call that "aiding and abetting" for a reason.

Great story well told. Her scrambling for the volume control had me laughing.

Just one item: did you mean 'shank' or 'skank'?

We need more of this high class writing. Surely you can squeeze our a sequel to put a twisty ending to this fine story?

4*

For my part I would probably divorce Jackie. She is basically a person without a moral compass, and as such very dangerous to those that loved her.

Yes, even those that are negative if they're constructive...

Erf... Re-read it multiple times and still missed where I wrote "shank" instead of "skank"....

Funny about multiple consecutive quotes by one person - I knew that, thought about it, and still messed that up.

And just curious, was it too subtle that the sound she was hearing was *not* the one coming from *her* computer....?

What a couple of dumb bitches! 4/5

Not Bad. Three stars.

I only wish you had fleshed it out more. I enjoy the emotional and psychological components of these stories and this one was kind of flat, or just too short to allow any real interaction and reaction. Her husband's response would be incredibly interesting, as would Pam's once she learns what her friend's advice cost her. Room for a lot more story than you invented.

Thanks for what you did write.

I liked this a lot actually.

You have me interested in more of this story, please continue, and your writing in general.

Good shot!

You just need to finish with another chapter. I like the author to finish to see where you take it , what happens to her and husband?

Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for taking the time to write this - and thanks for sharing it with us. I look forward to seeing more of your efforts.

NOT because it isn't any good.

It is.

But because not every tale in life is a bundle with all the loose ends wrapped up and tied.

Let the readers put their own imaginations to work and decide, for themselves, what happens to whom.

Cheers

Kilroy

Read all the comments posted so far. My take 4* only because I missed the plot point at the end. My bad should have been 5*. I did go back and favorite this story for that faux pas.

Please continue writing. We need good creative writers on this site. You definitely have the talent now develope it!

TH U V M

I like the way this has started off and I hope there are many more posts to come, as it does seem to me that there are or is a story within a story in the way you have written this first chapter. I will give you 5 for this if you continue with more chapters.

Well done. I especially like the twist at the end. Choices have consequences; this includes those who enable and encourage others to make destructive choices.

I look forward to future stories from you

only 4* sorry re-wright w/ song lyrics and.......i don't know...a Navy seal ?? lol.....stlcris

on a well written, original story.

Will have to look out for your work in future.

You left out a sports car

Thanks for sharing.

You DO realize that this is a site for sex stories; not one for submitting high school short stories for English class -- right?

I completely missed the part about there being a required amount of sex for the stories...

I foolishly assumed there was a range allowed of "sex" in a story...

Admittedly, if you weren't able to see the video, this story could have been barely R-rated... But in spite of there being quality X-rated stories on site I've read quite a few with little or no blatant sex that I thought well-worth the time to have read.

Hey, but what do I know? I write stuff for high school English class. :) Think I can get a B- on this one...? *chuckles...*

Thanks for a flash story that had some depth of thought and consequences. 5* and favorited.

What the hell do you mean might have? She torched her own with a flamethrower!

That was different! Good to see the tempter got what was coming to her for a change.

I enjoyed this one very much. There should definitely be fallout for those who encourage others to cheat.

In the story you covered all of the necessary points, the who, what, when, where, why, and how. A story to give one pause to think before going down a path like this. Jackie, even though she didn’t have an affair; with be under scrutiny by Michael from now on. Good little read, thanks for sharing it.

Nice first attempt. Keep writing, I look forward to your next efforts. My only comments would be, it was a little too sparse with the details and too short. The whole email to the husband thing was kind of convenient but A) how did the husband know Jackie's husband's email? Were the couples well acquainted? If they didn't know each other why did the email get past the spam filter. The guy was deleting a bunch of junk mail it seems likely he could have just as easily deleted the email as more junk... its the little things that bother me. Good job though.

Anonymousover 3 years ago

no sex?

You DO realize that this is a site for sex stories; not one for submitting high school short stories for English class -- right?

She earned an enormous amount of Lack of Trust from her husband.

Pretty good flash. Good reminder that even just aiding and abetting can destroy a marriage.

for the love of God - would you authors please finish your stories

[09.10.23]

A short sharp shot!

Brill!

11/10!!!!!

This is one of the more creative stories on this site. It comes at Cheating and Trust Issues from a different angle and wraps them up in a unique complete story. You can tell Tom is becoming aware of the cheating by the Author's foreshadowing and some nice twist is afoot. Well Done! 5 Stars!