All Comments on 'Do You Still Love Me?'

Holy cow that had me stressing out. Not what I expected and although it finished okay, I'm still a bit unnerved by it. Good short story and you could have made it longer, but it did its job.

This is so beautifully written. I simply fell in love with your writing.

It was sweet lingering pain I felt throughout while reading this story.

WHO has been transported into her place? Is that the line for the NEXT tale?

It would be neat!

It was ok. Yes, the end surprised me a little.

Thank you for all the comments.Yes it could have been longer. I wrote it just the way it came out of my head and didn't change anything after. I think it has a raw feel to it that it would not have had if I added to it. Sorry no sequel to it as such but I am working on a new piece that is much in the same line. (and longer) Look for "Job: A Tragedy of Injustice" sometime in the future.

Excellent read! Bizarre, distressing, and unexpected. You nailed it. Congratulations!

Kept me wondering what was going to happen. A clever twist ending. Deserves the E.

So well written and told. Not what I expected at all but it really held me all the way to the end.

I need another box of tissues. This makes me want to go hug my man and tell him I love him. I love this story.

The short sentences and brief scenes, as well as cutting back and forth from real time and flashback, and reverse order flashbacks at that, add up to keep the suspense going and and keep the reader on edge, Also the first person perspective with a seeming lack of emotion from the protagonist really made my heart go out to him. All those years and she is still at the center of his heart, broken as it be.

To an average reader the style might seem lack-luster and blase' but it all fit together perfectly to bring the emotion out of the reader, instead of telling the reader what they should feel.

This was genius. Pure genius.

Reverse order flashbacks? What story did you read. There was no lack of emotion, the protagonist was full of emotion. Anger and self pity mostly. There was much in this that was too ambiguous: "I forgive you. Do you forgive me?" you can attribute that to anything. And if the ghost of Susan was visiting him over the years, why was this their last chance? It would have been to leave that little tidbit out. This story was better in idea than execution, what it lacked polish.

Just what was the idea? And how did it differ from the execution? Since you seem to be the expert on it. Why was it their last chance? Maybe because a full moon on Halloween doesn't happen very often and he might be dead before that alignment of planes happened again. Or maybe it was his subconscious telling him it was time to really let go or live with it for the rest of his life. Or maybe God gave HER one last chance to bring him back to the light.

Anger? Yes. Self-pity? He was WAY past that. That was sorta the point. He was so far gone that only her ghost could fix it. So an ambiguous voice at the end? Yeah. That's for you to think about. Was it God? Was it his subconscious? Maybe that was his mind breaking down the walls he built to give him freedom again. Could be a thousand explanations. I left that for YOU to determine. Why? Because I like stories that make me THINK about what happened. And I like my readers to THINK about what I wrote and maybe gain a little understanding of life OUTSIDE their world.

So I lacked polish and you lacked imagination. Which was the worst offense?