All Comments on 'A Fated Pair - One Shot'

I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Well done!

Your ability to understand the young woman's feelings is an attribute to your writing skills. This was not the typical wham bam incest story I often run into on this site. I'll visit your other submissions soon.

This was really sweet and emotional from start to finish with you usual finesse. Glad to see the actually spend some time getting into the mood and cuddle before actually consummating their love for real, gives the story that little special touch. Though I thought that his doubts and overthinking would make it all dull it for the opposite made for a refreshing motive and drove the story onwards. Little wonder then that I gave it a well deserved 5*.

Hope to see more of your stories soon!

Thanks for all the support. I re-read this story while on a layaway to my next job, i missed a few words a jumbled some phrases. I hope the story still carries well beyond that. I am surely not a professional writer, just doing this as a hobby. Will bring more stories to you all soon.

Great piece of erotic writing

YES ... a very well written story. Each point in the story is focused, brings the theme through. Descriptive and very arousing !! I hope another few chapters are ready, as this story has so much potential. Finally, one of the few stories on here that have a love and future theme between brother and sister. The hungry sexual details and real life feelings are there. Great !! Now that they've crossed the sexual taboo barrier; Nicky needs to take the morning after pill and they need hard sex to bond themselves permanently. Nicky is so seductive and she needs to use her brother hard tool to drive them forward. The love is important too. Thank you !!

this is literotica!

The build up a little tence, mom and dad ran the show all these years . But now on there own long lost love shows up. This can't be the end, to well done to end like this. GREAT JOB thanks for the read

Please don't let this be the end of this story. It is very well done and I think you should continue. Let's see what happens next as well as how their relationship develops. I am excited for this and hope you decide to continue this story

One of the best stories here. Good job. Hope you have chapter 2 planned to demonstrate their relationship as it progresses now.

I liked the slow build up and Nicky's guilt at their developing relationship. I was interested in Holly's explanation of how she had always been attracted to Nicky from a young age. It's something that a lot of authors of sibling incest stories just don't address in their stories.

I hope there will be another chapter to this story. I feel I have got to know the characters and would like to continue to read about them as they face the future.

...right up until, "She lied there panting..." (lay there)

But I still gave you a 5.

This was a very well written or I should say woven story...You almost covered everything that makes the story feel real to the audience...Came here for a story, got an experience of a lifetime I'll say....Thank you Author.

The best incest story I've read!!! Please continue mate.

This is the best example of Great writing I have ever read..... ANYWHERE....

..... The Author has a wonderful talent for understanding and presentation. Beyond the simple writing the story. Allows you to experience the moments.....

... The best story I have ever read and a great Author to write it.

Congrats on having the best story on this site. Incredibly written and an amazing read. Well done mate.

I hope to read more about them and you did a wonderful job crafting the years of wanting and final realization of it all. You even did a very good job at catching errors, as I only saw 2 small grammatical ones, but they didn't interrupt the reading flow or anything.

Thanks for such an enthralling adventure. I hope you expand this, because I'd really like to read more of Nick and Holly's additional adventures together. :) 5

5 stars, but it's a bit unfinished. Needs a Ch 2 or an epilog may be even better.

MORE more more more more more, PLEASE

I loved the story, absolutely loved it!! ...however, the guy below that said he only saw two errors? Hahaha!! If I had kept count it might be closer to a hundred!! Seriously, this really needed an editor! I'm assuming by the nature of a lot of the errors that english isn't the authors first language though. Still, great story! I don't need a chapter two or any kind of ending, to me this kind of story works best if I come up with my own or just assume they live happily ever after, heh. I mean, honestly, there's only two kinds of endings, either it goes to shit, or they stay happy, right? Lol.

...stories on the site. Keep up the good work. It could end here if you don't want to pursue it, but there are a number of directions in which it could go. And there is the question of their parents and their tendency to try to control them to be dealt with.

There were a few missteps ("lied" for "lay", "finely" for "finally"(?), "see" for "sea", "passed" for "past", but some light editing would take care of that.

I hope to see this one in the Hall of Fame after a year or so. Five stars, but only because I can't give it six.

Wow! Hey, can I trade my wife in for this girl? Lol. Crazy, hot, wear me out sex and then wants seconds? Where do I sign up? Rofl!

You have to write more to this lovely tale. PLEASE

What movie were they watching? I know it could just be a made up movie, but I've seen that plotline described like that in a different story. Could just be a coincidence, though, I guess.

Holly is often described as tiny and small. And she has not completed education. She is showing all the signs of not completing too. I would have wished for 2 planets crashing,an educated woman who has been out in the world,like him, and who has more physical presence. I don’t want her to be tiny or small.

But,I had read the praise in the comments and went to investigate. All said,there were too many reminders of her smallness...little sister....tiny,etc,I could not move away from thinking that she was being “done to”. And the future? If she wants children,what then? And the complication of the family finding out. They always do. I don't think they had answers. The way the system is rigged,there are none. 5* for good writing.

Bit late to the party but I loved the nice build-up, the conversations, the eroticism, the everything, and I'm not usually that voluble about a story.

Thoroughly well crafted and hot all the way through - I couldn't stop reading.

5 stars without a doubt despite the occasional error.

Would love to see sequels to this story but then, now the deed is done the pressure is off, perhaps they'd be something of a let-down so perhaps it's best for it to remain a stand-alone story.

Most excellently well done, Sir!

I absolutely love this story.

I hope you are going to continue it

i love reading stories especially about brother an sister, Ive read quite a few an look for ones that make me want to pleasure my self, an while most drag on before you even get that feeling, i was overwhelmingly hard by end of 1st chapter and started stroking myself, an by end of first page was all i could do not to orgasm an only wished i could make it to the end of the story, well 3/4 through the second page i had one of the most powerful orgasm a person can give their self masturbating, specially a man but i did, while i went soft i continued to read an after the first few sentences of third page i was surprised i was getting hard again so soon and only hoped to be able achieve another orgasm like the previous one an prayed i could hold out to the end this time so i slow stroked while reading an stopped when i felt i was getting close to cumming and i did make it to the end an this orgasm was even better than the first as i rarely cum twice that soon/so close together usually takes awhile, this was the only way to describe how powerful an well written this story was, i definatly look forward to more from this author, well done

Thanks for a touching story of love. You really write beautifully.

In society Incest is declared morally wrong,but in truth like here on Literotica if the subjects are over 18 and are consenting adults then why shouldn't they be free to love who they want,albeit siblings,cousins, or even parents with their son's and daughters?

Like this story for example,brother and sister grew up being close,then later near adulthood those feelings got stronger,thereby leading to love for each other,so if the two agree about their attraction for one another why can't they be together,just cause some people are so narrow-minded they hate people of incest they think they're right to judge them,but that's a crock of shit.

The only one who has a right to judge is God himself and if he allows them to express their love for one another then who are we to judge what they do behind closed doors. People should just open their eyes and minds and accept people like that who ain't hurting nobody,and maybe the world would be a better place.

This story was beautifully written and my comps to the author.Thanks.

Too many mistakes, in grammar, and spelling bugged me. That could have been a 5 star story with a proof reader/editor fixing it. It was short but the emotional connection seemed well constructed to me. The sex was pretty hot and well paced.

' Her nails dug into my back as I thrust with all my might into her tiny frame. Her legs wrapped tightly around my torso as I grunted.

"No...not in you." I barely uttered.

She shook her head, "Yes in me." '

What?! Like the fucking loser was going to pull out and ruin the whole moment?! Ruin her epic, long held dream and fantasized first time with the one love of her life?!? She should give him a good, hard stiff kick in the nuts afterwards just for thinking about it!! Damn!! I mean really, the only thing that should be going through his over thinking brain right now is plans on how to make a clean break from the family and friends after they graduate and both disappear together so they can live happily ever after together and make babies somewhere! Jeez!!!v;)

' I felt as my cock throbbed and pulse the last few streams into her, I pulled out slowly and flopped down onto the bed. '

Wtf is it with all these guys who just pull out the second they blow their load? I mean, wth?! If you've gotta lay down, drag her over with you when you flop on your back so that you're still inside you while she lays on top. Enjoy being inside her till you shrink up and fall out, or if you're big and she's tiny and flat, until you decide to pull out later!

Well, whew! I really had a great time with this story!! I fell in love with the girl right away!! What an amazing character! Gotta say though, the brother reacted to her a lot better than expected, or than probably anyone would have, after she strung him along that first time in bed!! ROFL! I probably would have been like... 'gtfo, go sleep on the couch, you evil messed up bitch!' of course I probably would have regretted it a bit later, probably before I even fell asleep, but there you go...

Yeah, an edit would have helped, for sure, mostly spelling or transposed words. But I got over it fast enough. Great story!! Just would have loved a paragraph or five of we moved away and lived happily ever after closure, hehe!

I CAN'T STAND a cock tease. I don't care how much love you try to put into it. If she truly loved him she wouldn't do that shit to him. She was just trying to convince herself she wanted him. I don't think she did. Bitch. A 2 of 5.

Wow, If he had been able to resist her there would have been something fundamentally broken in him. I've never met Holly but I fell in love her. Excellent story. Very moving.

Very good. The tortured son of a controlling family overthinking is so believable. The darling sister who knows who she loves, but is putting the finishing touches on deciding how she will become a woman, how she wants this part of her life to go, would capture anyone she had her sights on. Their youth is well depicted, even though the brother is not young in every way.

Needs editing, still got a 5.

The truest love is found in the ones who know you best. Great story!

Very Sweet und Romantique!

11/10!!!!!

So few stories on here have Chinese American Sibling Incest genre's but I am glad to see this one,and how the whole Chinese Culture was captured by the premise of a Father and or Parents are traditional to try to set up their Son in an arranged marriage like it was the 17 or 18th Century instead of the 21st.

But I think Son broke tradition by having incest with Holly,and at the end Holly clearly states she doesn't want to go,meaning to College and she would be just as happy to become her Brother Nicky's Live-in Girlfriend or even Wife,but what I said about tradition could also be considered since it has been recorded that many Chinese Emperors had children by their relatives so for the sake of this story it is not so far off.

And maybe Holly and her brother Nicky ended up married and had a long happy life together as Sibling Spouses with lots of babies and children.

This is really good. Thank you for writing and sharing this love story.