All Comments on 'HV-3 Crystal Maiden'

A very strong opening to a story with great potential. Please continue the saga of the Travels of HV-3

You created too many different technical terms. The pseudoscience gets in the way of the story.

I understand these characters are exploring and it seems they recently met each other, except the captain and arbiter (?).Unfortunately, deciphering a story isn't something I want to do. Especially as there is so much science fiction out there. Most of it more entertaining than this poor post.

Thanks for the effort Twistedpleasures. Failure is a learning opportunity, lol.

AMerryman

I must agree with the first comment, this is a difficult read. But, having read other Sci-Fi stories which have the premise of humans stumbling through space using technology discovered, but not fully understood, from some long gone Founders, this one makes sense to me.

It has the feel of a primitive tribal society at the heart, yet they are exploring space, again stumbling along with poorly understood tech. Reference the statements made about how difficult it was for them to build the ship. It makes me interested in seeing how far these people are going to get.

I am not a fan of Futanari, but the encounter between Captain and Arbitress was well done, and helped move the story along. Altogether a nicely done introduction to what might be a very good story. Thank you for your work.

Thanks for the initial feedback!

Fiero: let's hope!

AMerryman, you've nailed one particular concern I had regarding the terms and pseudoscience. Because I want to talk about a people wrestling with unknown technology, I have a certain amount that must be there, so this may not be the story for you. Were there specifics that were confusing that you think could be glossed over for now? Because of the density of this beginning, I am also thinking that another vignette may be a better intro.

Kuhpa, thanks for the kind analysis. I'm especially glad that the scene wasn't lost on you despite it not being your fetish! That's some of what I'm going for, but this scene turned out VERY futa.

This is an interesting take on a sci fi story.

A whole race of ( natural ? geno-engineered ? ) futanari, who seem to be the distant descendents or inheritors of a highly advanced civilisation before them. Not exactly understanding how all of the ancient technology works, but having reached the stage of at least being able to get some predictable and useful results out of it.

I personally didn't find your writing hard to follow at all, it took a paragraph or two for my mind to tune into the dialect, after that I was fine. It's always the same when reading something with a strong cultural style embedded into it. I don't see that as a negative at all, quite the contrary.

Definitely I'm interested to see where this story is going. Futa isn't particularily my thing, but it doesn't bother me, so I'll be reading along for the duration

Ditto Ditto on the last comment.

Looking forward to more.

In a way you are caught on the horns of a dilemma.

Do you slow the story down. Spend time on short stories that explain the technology and the character's biology. Knowing your more familiar and younger readers probably don't have the patience.

Do you just continue losing the less nimble ( like myself). The ones who have access to more polished science fiction but less time/ energy🤔?

I know I myself was exploring and noticed this story. Thought I would try it.

But I don't have the time or energy. With a paperback trilogy I read when work slows down. The non-fiction hard cover after dinner. And finally articles and stories on various sights.

Well, the fault is mine Twistedpleasures 😣.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

AMerryman

So I read HV-2 first, even though it was published second, and I am glad that I did. I don't understand why you decided to write them in reverse order. But I am looking forward to HV-4, while not so much HV-1.

Like some of the other comments, I am not hugely into Futa, but I am okay with it. In this story, the sex complemented the story but was not integral to the story, so it could be almost any fetish that you wish. The story would suffer unduly if the sex was left to your imagination. Since this is Literotica, I think everyone can agree that we are not looking for stories that leave the sex to one's imagination! And you did the scene well.

While I am able to follow along with the technology for the most part, I still feel like there is some aspect of the stonewood concept that I am not getting. It is probably just the engineer in me, so I have resigned myself to saying that it is fucking magic and got over it. (The title 'Hazard' does seem appropriate for the occupation!) But I don't think that you could get away without better description in mainstream settings.

I have added you as a favorite so I can track your development! Good job.