All Comments on 'Ashley's Transformation'

Really enjoyed this story. I like the perspective of someone watching from the sideline but not going full on cuckold as a girl he's got a crush on is getting what he can't provide. I think it could have been better with less of a conversational tone, but I like that you didn't really draw out the actual hardcore sex scenes too much like a lot of the stories here. Left more to my imagination while picturing being in Ashley's position. Great first story all-around, could have been a little better, but I still gave you 5 stars because it was something fresh and different than the normal 40- or 50-something cuckold watching his 30- or 40-something wife who's out of his league to begin with.

@hellotitty96, thanks for the feedback. Working on a longer story currently with less of a conversational tone and multiple POVs. The main character of that one is the same age range as this, but the different characters cover different age ranges. I've got the broad outline figured out, probably going to include some stuff with male characters being pushed toward cuckoldry, but haven't quite decided how far I want to push them into it. Glad you liked this one. Keep an eye out for me.

Wasted 5 minutes of my time reading this ugly nonsense story.

1* for this crap

Thank you for the star, anonymous. I guess one is better than none

Yeah, I think we've all seen a woman or two who had some life controlling fetish for giant dicks or for men of a certain race or for extreme bondage or some kind of shit, but they tend to be the kind of chicks I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole to begin with, usually ghetto trash or trailer trash who could barely hold a conversation with a child without outing themselves as no class vapid whores. I've dated quite a bit, was married once, was in the swinger scene for a while even. I'm white, I've always been a tad heavy, and my dick's only about 5 and a half inches as well. I'd say that almost all of the women I've fucked have also fucked at least one or two black guys in their time, a few even fucked really hung ones. None of them got "hooked". None of them developed a thing for IR porn any more than other kinds of porn (taboo/bdsm/group, etc.) and none of them ever showed any "huge dick fetish" for men of any color. Hell, most of them had a few complaints about the really hung guys, that they couldn't fuck as often because it always leaves them sore, that guys with big ones get real lazy in bed and forget what their tongue and fingers can do or they never learn good technique cause they think the world revolves around their dong, others have claimed that the hung guys tend to cum too quickly. Some of my buddies who I know for a fact are seriously packing have also confided that they've had women turn them down after seeing their size more than they've ever had women seek them out because of their large size. As for me, I do wish I was bigger, but then again since I got a nice upward curve, when I fuck a woman I'm shaped just right so that my cock head is "speedbagging' her G spot in most positions without having to angle my hips in any odd way (for men with straighter dicks, you have to adjust your angle a bit to get the same effect) and I've had a bunch of compliments on that, no complaints. Also, like any guy with a normal sized dick and who grew up in the age of easy access porn (which can make you think every dude is packing serious heat down there) I was self conscious enough to also learn a lot of tricks with my tongue and fingers so I'll put my skills in the sack up against any giant dong having motherfucker any old day of the week. So assuming there is even a shred of truth to your tale, maybe instead of freaking out if your chick likes IR porn you should work on your fucking technique, fingering technique, and your pussy/ass eating game and a few other things like proper erotic spanking and how to properly tie a woman up for proper dom / sub sex (easy to do, but hard to do it RIGHT).

Having an outsider tell the tale moves the reader too far from the action. The main character needs to be involved. As it is, we don’t get to know Ashley or Ty at all. Hell, Ty is just a big dick that the narrator seems to obsess over. (Being a repressed homosexual isn’t healthy).

@Bit Dull

Thanks for the feedback. With the thousands of stories here from a 1st or 2nd person POV, I don't think submitting one from the 3rd person is too out of line. I'm sorry that you didn't like the perspective I chose to write from, hopefully you read another story here before you give up. Basing your assumption on a person's sexuality on a ~4,000 word piece of fiction probably isn't healthy.

I really enjoyed it, having an outside perspective was a positive for me and did not distract or move me further away from the story. Looking forward to more stories in the future if you decide to keep it up.

Also dont let the rascist deter you, if they really felt that way they wouldnt be reading and commenting on interracial stories.

The sex eas passable but this idea that as soon as a hot girl sees a huge black cock, she’ll lose her fucking marbles is...ridiculous.

Not that some girls wouldnt trade sex for security or be attracted to black guys; but ALL OF THEM? Or the idea that fidelity and monogamy are out the window at the sight of a BBC.

Give your damn head a shake.

I do not remember labeling a story a waste of time -- until now.

Why do I want to read about a fictional hot white slut girl with a black fixation?

Especially when there is no build-up to a point of conflict that requires resolving. Plus the narrator is not even a part of the action (inaction), having just a chatting acquaintance with hot slut girl that does not include showing us the emotions involved. So we do not particularly feel involved in (and therefore do not care about) her life.

Years ago I read about the sexual shenanigans in Olympic Village and I WAS interested, because that is a slice of real life, and because I was not jaded from years of reading Literotica.

heftylefty55 is actually a fairly good writer -- if he had something to write about.

So maybe he should come up with a plot that is actually interesting, and try again.

Paul in Oklahoma

Very erotic we all have that one female that got away