by erectus123
I like how you bring this full circle, very clever. It's a bit unsettling that line 5 has no rhyme which interrupts what is otherwise a smooth read. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your comment--I could have just added the two lines together but I thought that "to" and "too" rang the rhyme and the off note of the flated ending sets up the surprise of line 6 which one might not expect --- anyway it wasn't without thought but as Alan Ginzberg said, "easier to write rhyming poems then not."
( and jerk me off
I begin to cough
that passes too)
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