All Comments on 'Coworker'

I enjoyed this a lot. Good thing it worked out between Jesse and Emily. Poor Brittney got the short end of the emotional hot mess. Thank you for sharing this!

A pity you let it end so abruptly though

Good story .Maybe you could write another chapter for Brittney since she got the short end of this story.

I enjoyed this story very much. Feel a little bad for Brittney though, but you love who you love and Jessica loves Emily. Five ★ worthy.

Wow I hope there's a second chapter in the future. This was very good.

And the two women were really well drawn.

But -

Please. Please get an editor.

The change in tenses through the story, in the middle of a sentence, it's an absolute killer. In stead of thinking about what is happening and suspending judgement, I'm busy understanding the tenses.

Excellent writing, also feel bad for Brittany, but maybe there is a 2nd chapter where she can find her true love maybe Kathy??

The sexy parts might have been few in this story but I was on pins and needles wondering how it was going to end for the couple. Very very well done!!

Lovely story.

One issue re: the "Jesse" nickname part of the storyline. I'm not sure if it was meant to be an ode to LWRI, but the use of the exact name was so jarring that it felt like copying.

I really enjoyed it, nice character and plot development, with a great slow build up. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Well done, well done indeed

Only one question: When is the follow-up coming?! Love "the class & they, sass"! Can't wait to see what else you have to offer.

Low key relatable. This literally gave me mixed emotions and I love it sm ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Bless this author lmao 😭😩💞

I was wet all through

I would love to see Brittany’s character develop into her own story!

The title says it all.

Although I have to agree with the Anonymous comment regarding tenses, but it didn't spoil it for me.

So, I'll still give it a five.

I spent 2 hours last night combing the erotica list looking for this. I love this story

Definitely enjoy the general direction you take with your stories. However, I really wish you would have spent more time on these characters. I wanted to know more about Emily and Jesse’s background...people and events that makes them the people they are now. The build up to a potentially potent and intimate love scene fell short. It felt rushed. I love the ideas you bring to your stories but I would love to see your writing evolve. Less telling and more showing. Putting the time into details when needed and omitting wasted words when needed. What did if “feel” like for Emily when Jessica pulled her against her thigh repeatedly at their office? Details... describing sensation/friction instead of just saying it, I believe it will take your storytelling to the next level. I really enjoy your work and don’t write reviews often but please consider my suggestions. I am a fan of your imagination. Take the time to build your characters backstories so their personalities and actions are more ground in reality. More believable. We all love the build a truly good story has...the lust, obsticals, uncertainty and the best part of all the “destination love scene.” If these two characters are so drawn to each other they way you described them then let us be real “it DOESN’T happen often in real life. We are all here waiting patiently for your work and keep coming back because we want to be swept away by truly beautiful, magical love sense that leave very little to the imagination. If you get my drift... You can’t have a truly effective love sense if you don’t show your audience what they cannot see...describe your characters bodies in more detail, every quivering detail, color shape and size. I want to feel like I am looking through your characters eyes. Lastly, when Emily was emotional I feel like if Jessica had gone after her it wouldn’t have been a missed opportunity at showing us their gradual build of trust when faced with being emotional and Visibly vulnerable in front of the person that is stirring these uneasy emotions. More Intimate scenes where comfort is needed instead of having your characters run off by themselves or with a character that is merely space in your story. I really enjoyed this story but I almost wish you could rewrite, paint your images and not fall short where we are all hoping for the most detail. The last scene was such a disappointing let down after all that was said and done. Perhaps you will consider writing this story over again or continue their story...

Thanks you for sharing

I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would but there were a few things that stopped me from being fully invested. Mainly the use of breast instead of breasts, it felt awkward. And secondly, I just don't think it makes sense for MC to not be a lesbian. That part about her not being with women before seemed so random, and her chemistry with Britney/Brittany (Which you spelled differently at a lot of different times) makes more sense if everyone in the office knows she's a lesbian. Then, Emily being jealous and thirsting after Jess makes a lot more sense. Also, if she's never been with a woman how is she so good at eating out she can make a girl nut in what felt like three seconds. Which is another issue I have. The sex scenes seemed unnecessary and were unsatisfying which is not great in an erotic story, imo.

However, I did read the whole thing and was weirdly invested in the characters. I got a bit out of it when Britney/Brittany was like "Yeah I'm cool with you being into another girl and leading me on. We're best friends now."

The sexual tension between Emily and Jess was pretty intense, and the dialogue is 10/10. The story flow itself felt really nice too, and I felt sad when Emily left the store for a different one as well. So, all in all not a bad story but has some pretty big, easy to fix flaws if you ever wanted to come back and touch this up.

Nice job, thanks for the fun read :)

That's all I got, this was beautiful

This obviously needs a bit of editing, but you should consider expanding this into a full length novel. Loved this and also "Mine". I'm envious, you are a very talented writer.

I will echo the need for editing. The errors sometimes made me have to read two or three times through a section to make sure I understood what was happening. I definitely gave 5 stars but think that having someone polish the draft would make it even better. I love the vulnerability of the characters. Great work.

Nice story but 'Brittney' and 'Brittany' is irritating, along with the other editing errors.

Thats just human intelligence and thinking .... Yes its all abou life and how it comes out .... Don't know how many millions had been down this path too but missed the exit for the happy ending ..... Very emotional story great written

I really enjoyed the story and urge you to carry on writing. I agree about the editing. There are several places where you use the singular rather than the pleural (breast instead of breasts). Definitely worth 5 stars for the story, but 1/2 to allow for editing. Fortunately that’s not possible!

To be completely honest, from my point of view not your best story. The description of the starting friendship with Brittany during the times spent apart from Emily seems a little shallow to me.

But, on a 5 stars scale not allowing "half stars", your writing still stands out, so 5 stars nonetheless. Would have been 4.5 if that was possible.

Cute story thanks

Cute story thanks

Do you have a moral compulsion against commas?🤪 in all seriousness, the story is structurally sound but lacks the polish of a great story. It also lacked heat. Over 10,000 words and you gave us one brief sex scene. Not much bang for the buck.

The way it is written, their relationship doesn't stand a chance. Emily is too shallow. There was not enough detail about her angst, her change of internal character. Changing her workplace and dropping her boyfriend are a big deal, but they did not go through those changes together. Top that with they now they both realize that they are Gay? I wish them luck.

So sweet. Thanks!!

This the Second story of yours I read today. Telenovella was the first and I think i need to stop because I don't want to start crying reading romances on Literotica. I have been reading alot for a very long time and only a few Authors have every made me cry Robin Hobb for one example.