All Comments on 'Just Too Stupid'

then gave up. Sorry but what I've read so far sounds like it was written by a little kid. He sees a strange woman, get's a hard on that comes out the leg of his pants, she sees it and asks if she caused it, and they have not known each other for 30 seconds yet? That's just too stupid.

Weird. Same exact thing happened to me. Except it was the Asian woman who wanted me to fuck her mom. And her grandmother too (she’s a freak).

I’m currently shacking up with six extremely busty and insatiable women: a curvy ginger, an amazon black woman, a single mom who milks her tit straight into my coffee, and three generations of Asian women. All but the older Asian women are pregnant and we couldn’t be happier! I know it seems too good to believe...

please continue this

I agree with that comment. And far too wordy for what I read, I mean really? ALL those words to explain she was naked? 1*

I hope this.is somehow your April Fool's story. If not, I can't be gentle, this was way too much. I'm a CrazyDave fan, but not of this. Sory.

...and then turned to rubbish.

Infantile plot.

This could have been in humor, but I guess then it would have missed the audience it was meant for. As much as you tried to be sarcastic, this ridiculous action is typical for an interracial story, which is why those stories get boring and repetitive quick.

Thanks for the brief escape.

Wait until you are at least 18. 12 year olds should not be posting here

Waste of time.

T starred off pretty good and then went straight to hell. Not sure what this was but I’m glad it’s over.

She should have brought a pizza.

It was ridiculously funny! I guess other forget to read for entertainment! Keep it up CDT60, this one doesn't seem finished!

But this went off the rails .... Fast. I really wanted to like this. But. It just didn't work.

. . . I hope that you aren’t smoking this shit when you’re behind the wheel.

Everyone is being kind. They are holding back their real feelings. I wonder how many readers will make it through the entire story?

That was incredibly bad. A decent start but it hit stupid in record time. If it was supposed to be humorous it failed.

I quickly tried to skim, couldn't even do that.

At the beginning, when he said the kids were at "his" parents' house, not "her parents," I thought it was going to turn out that he was the lover, but no, it was just a stupid typo.

I’m not usually this negative but come on man! Make it SLIGHTLY believable. I know it’s fantasy and all but for fucks sake. I highly doubt your pulling numbers like that. James Dean (porn dude) don’t pull tail like that! Well...actually he prolly does. Stick to hauling good buddy. Over and out.

Before embarassing yourself further.

Good start, reasonable initial response but way too contrived. It is not a complete story the meat of the matter is unspoken and just 'hanging there"! 2** for the start!

enjoyed the comic relief. Thanks

*

...you might consider having him wake up at the end of the dream.

Sounds like a teenager's wet dream.

1*-nothing more needs to be said

You do realize that stories based on real life are more intertaining..., no. I'm sorry, of course you don't.

You write very well. Comic relief or not, the story cums through delightfully. How many women can Jack due in 24 hours?

It started out okay, but then it just degenerated into suck and fuck for no rhyme or reason. There was no real story after the start. Get some rest. Try again.

I think this is one of your first stories. Truth be told, it does sound like a wet dream. Even in fantasies you have to keep a dose of reality to make it sound real. Jack Wallace attracted to many women of the United Nations to make it believable. Try to shorten the long and convoluted erotic scenes and develop more the plot, and please finish it. Too many writers get tired of writing towards the end and rush the end. Now don't give up and keep writing. Writers are made with practice, nobody is born a master. Thank for the effort.

This has to be the dumbest story I’ve read on Lit this year. Three women approach him for sex?

Geez. Tone it down - this is so over the top it just disgusts.

I mean, really, she's cheating on him but he somehow is some super-duper sex machine? This is the stuff of juvenile dreams, and bad ones.

<P>

Well, at least your title was dead-on.

wet dreams are...awesome

keep it up!

too many shitty wet dreams for women with daddy issues, very few for normal horny men. one nit-pick...less adoration for hot women. maybe scale it back from your 30 to a respectable 10...on a 1-10 scale...that's where you are.

Sorry, no two ways about it, I couldn't pass the first few paragraphs and had to force myself to skim to just make an attempt at finishing.

LW section is, by and large, largely centered around RAAC and BTB. They are achieved either through flash stories, gritty real life scenarios, or humorous takes. Flash stories are tricky to pull off due to condensing of a proper story that you default has build up, history, and requires resolution.

From the many (many many lots) I've read, I have deduced from comments, layout as well as personal bias that people tend towards BTB, with it being an accurate reflection of reality. Gritty, harsh, but the protagonist mustn't be brought across as a dope, a wimp or simp, no backbone and emo. There is a difference between emotional heartbreak and going through the emotional rollercoaster versus emo feelings tampon. Difficult balance to strike.

Look at qhml, billandkate, stangstar06, laptopwriter, harddaysknight and similar authors for inspiration and stylistic and content presentation. Just plain Bob as well, though he tends to piss in my cornflakes by invariably never adequately finishing/wrapping up a story (never do that, he gets the shit blasted out of him by many people for it, fucking laziness, excuse the French). Never do a willing cuckold story unless you are trying to appeal to a small subsect or have the fetish yourself - I've never seen a story where, if there is a sniff of cuckoldry, you'll not be toasted and crucified for it.

Appeal to reality, make the protagonist real and worthy of respect, avoid trying to make characters dumb to fit a narrative, chime people's various emotions, craft a good history and body and wrap up with a definitive ending. And never cross names or rinse and repeat unless specifically in a series. Just plain bob uses many characters, but one in particular, in nearly every unrelated story, I shot you not. Don't do that. It's a chronological ordering of events that follows a sequence that's predictable, but style sets it apart.

Hope this is constructive and helps. Kudos for writing - LW is said to be the harshest critiquing section.

It's kind of sad when the title is truly descriptive of the quality of the story.

This was quite a wild ride. Was the intention to make fun of the whole idea behind

Literotica? Without knowing your objective I cannot decide how close you came to your goal.

I kept expecting to have his wife find him having a stroke/seizure while mowing the lawn.

Almost be sci fi....like twilight zone. Loved it 5

If there was a negative rating I would use it. So glad I've learned to skim read, the title describes the story and the writers ability, it's so juvenile it disgusts.

Absolutely the worst stupid and poorly written waste of time.Thats half an hour I'll never get back

this didnt work for me. Too fantastical, and not real at all. Doesnt make it bad, just not my cup of tea.

you write crazy stories. Sorry, this is really trash. One Star.

The nearest comparison to this story that I can think is the vision of an old homeless man walking in Manhattan with an orange wig wearing an oversized overcoat with huge shoulder pads constantly muttering no collusion, no obstruction over and over again. This story was just plain sad.

Not all stories are supposed to be believable.

I thought it was fun to read.

This story was way out of the realm of reality, but who needs to be depressed by another one of those stories?

Thanks for the laughs and fantasy. I want to see more.

His tongue her cheek.

But it has to be fictional overthetop fantasy. Why else would women have veejayjay's and hooha's. Like I am back in 1st grade getting lessons from dick & dora books.

Just how drunk were you when you wrote it. That was hilarious! Thanks for the story.

Dude, you realize this is an adult erotica site, right?

Tits changed size

My personal like is a hairy cunt. shaved bald to me equates with a little kink for pedophile

An excerpt from part 2:

There was a knock on the door. I answered it, and there was an old woman standing there. She looked so familiar to me but I couldn't place her. She said, "Jack Wallace, I need to speak with you". Ok, after the run of beautiful sexy cheated on woman I have been fucking lately, I was thinking, I hope this troll doesn't want me to fuck her too. But intrigued, I showed her in. we sat together on the couch and I asked her, "How do you know my name?" She responded, "Not your concern, I am a powerful woman and I know things". She continued by saying, "My husband Bill has been fucking your wife. I really don't give a shit, he has had a long line of sluts over the years. But I was informed that you are some kind of stud, and I want some of that". She had a smell of brimstone about her that was a little repulsive, but my little head always does the thinking for me, and he told me, "What the fuck a wet hole a wet hole, why not. Besides we have ky in the end table in case her old pussy is as a dry hole.". So I agreed and led her upstairs to my bed. I quickly dimmed the light, not anxious to actually see her nude in the bright light. She climbed naked onto the bed in all her saggy glory and spread her legs wide. I did need to use the ky, but as I climbed aboard about to stick it in her, she said, "By the way, my name is Hillary. I hope you live up to expectations. I would feel bad if you committed suicide because you didn't give me what I wanted.". So come on big boy fuck me like your life depended on it".

Sometimes I think, why do I bother? Get roundly criticized for fuckin up. But then remember. For FUN. I only write for fun. Try and keep things interesting. I also write to combat the self mutilating cuckold factions. Those guys need more therapy than me! I think straight guys gotta stand up and be counted. The other thing is this, if you are expecting Hemingway or Hawthorne... Why would you expect them in a site that caters to kinks? A sexual cornucopia as it were. I'll never be Just Plain Bob, or Just Words, or King Bandor. Those guys are for real authors. My stuff is always tongue in cheek. Its always over the top. My BTB stuff is really more like incinerate the bitch! But none should be taken seriously. Its a FANTASY. Get a grip!

Kind of an ultimate guys fantasy to "revenge of the cuck". Time for part two where you flip it and he "wakes up" to find it was all a dream and ... well you have to decide what would happen.

I’d say it’s satire, but I’ve seen your other work

Now in the next installment. We need to have the wife come home and tell him she is moving out it just isn't working. then have her and her gentleman see him and their ex-wives out at the same restaurant or club.

What's with "va jay jay", are you 12? And "viola". Yeah, stupid story. Enough said.

Thanks for another fun tale, I get a kick out of your writing and DO appreciate your work. Please keep it up.

Please write a couple of more chapters on this one .. Thank You you have a true talent .If some people do Not like Your style ?? Just remember you cannot please everyone

A juvenile fantasy story.

Every man’s fantasy rolled into one story. To bad I’m only going to be able to give it 3 stars because you didn’t finish the story. What the hell 🤷‍♂️?

Sorry couldn't get past the shower scene? I don't know, not enough info up front. Strange woman pulls up to house says husband is fucking his wife, gets naked starts fucking......really!! 2 stars

Pure fantasy.

Finish way too hurried.

For a guy who just learned his wife was a cheating whore, he sure got a lot of sympathy fucks.

When first we practice to write weird shit

Stopped after the Movie star/autograph crap.

Where is the ending to this fantasy?.

No confrontation with the wife? Also way over the top with all these women throwing themselves at him. There is a lot more you could tell in this story but cut down on his sex god status.

LOVE slap hapy papy #9

Story was ok but its missing the second half so I scored it 1\2.

I just have one question. What the fuck was that? I guess a lonely and depressed man's fantasy. Nice dream.

1 star - unbelievable male FANTASY - just too stupid to comprehend. Waste of time.

Silly. stupid. BUT enjoyable and funny. Can't take the story serious. Keep writing, please.

No real story or plot. Just sex. 2*

I can't wait to read chapter 2 of this ridiculous nonsense.

Horrible just pure garbage no man would do this after finding out about his wife I call Bull Shit. I know it's only a story but it's still crap.

Excellent title because this story is Just Too Stupid

Totally confusing

Juvenile tripe

Dis a 12 year old write this?⭐️⭐️

Written by an idiot- Pathetic

AA++

because it is so stupidly absurd, I had to give it two stars. It was funny in its own way but really a pretty juvenile story.

I changed my vote from a 4 to a 5

Great Story!! I loved it!!

Pathetic

Reads as if a 12 year old wrote this, sorry, just way over the top for me.

Where is the next part?

very hot story, needs to build into a harem story.

It's a great beginning

🤯🧠🧟‍♂️

Just too stupid it exactly! *1*

I’m sorry I wasted my time reading this tripe.