by Extreme Bohunk
has been mentioned in today's New Story Review thread in the Author's Hangout.
Well written, creepy and disturbing. This is an excellent tale that pushes the boundaries.
I think the writing could use some polish, a final edit and some revisions for flow - punctuation and word usage. With a little polish this could be be truly frightening.
Great story and really intriguing. I was on edge the whole way through it.
Great story, frightening and intriguing. I was on the edge of my seat all the way through it.
goodness. It had me holding my breath and wondering if she'd wake up and find this all a dream.
This was one of the first stories I read on Literotica, and it's haunted me for weeks! If only all the stories here were as well-written and INTERESTING! Fantastic use of detail - I could see things perfectly in my mind's eye. I kept thinking she would 'wake up' when she orgasmed, and then Larry would really kill her... I'm glad it ended like it did, and that I found it again so now I can read it and your other work. Great job!
Excellent, and erotically creepy. But I was left wanting to know HOW she felt what she did and what happened to put her in that state. I think it would have been even better if Larry was somehow responsible.
You just wrote my worse nightmare in story form! Excellent!