What is really good about this one is that the wronged man is not a wimp, but doesn't descend to vengeance either. He never does a thing to his ex, beyond refusing to allow her back into his life.
Great work! This story is a welcome breath of fresh air for this category.
I gave up.
"Excellent!" is what fits.
Now some will not liek this story...
Here we see some one who was torn up becosue of a selfish and self centered woman who lost sight of the real prize, a loving marrage.
We see his fall and decent into pain.
And then? We see him heal.
HE still has a ways to go and HE sees that.
His new love? well she has a ways to go to repair and grow the relationship...but SHE sees that too.
The best part to me? The friend... 100% behind him and for him. A real friend. Now one of these "well you NEED to get back with her or I will be mad at you mister." 'friends'.
ONLY bad parts IMO?
1: the mother :WHY does she think getting abck with her is the best for him?
2: him not divorcing her, but here I can accept the reason why...some.
IMO probally one of your best ohio.
Very well written, plotted story. My only gripe is the mother. I'm a mother of sons, and if anybody hurts them, they don't have to worry about my boys...they have to worry about me!
There are depths of betrayal ... and then there are layers far below that. This is as bad as betrayal can get.
It's inconceivable that there could be any reconciliation after her words and actions to him.
You did a wonderful job of showing the depth of his hurt with a touching pathos.
Nice that he has another chance at love.
Just an outstanding job. Well done. Thank God for his friend. I kept worrying that he was going to be another "nightmare" somehow but it didn't play out that way. Thanks. And thank God he was there for the first meeting. Without him there he would have taken her back.
Mom was weird. What does someone have to do to her son before she will take his side?
The friendship felt real - the dialogue, the way the guys interacted - nicely sketched. It was good that he didn't know everything which happened, which means you didn't become bogged down in reciting details but instead spent time in his point of view. I would say your most consistent and best written piece.
I have to say it was superbly written and well-portrayed story of betrayal by so called unintentional and innocent intent of the betrayer turning into horrendous cruelty to the offended.
Jenny has no idea of giving of herself without it being for her pleasure first and foremost. She is a typical self-absorbed woman who has no background in handling rejection.
Mom was a really controlling person who believes with Jenny back as her daughter-in-law she could control everything in their lives.
Thank you for your extensive work and great entertainment.
Well written with a very realistic plot and believable characters. It ended as it should have. All of the pieces fit and Nick was able to get on with his life, thank goodness. Thanks for a very good read.
Jenny? I didn't see it in the story.
Good grief, Ohio, what a story. Having been there and done that, you captured the emotions of betrayal amazingly well. And a good ending as well. Well done!
In my not so humble opinion, this is your best work to date.
your best story ever ? certainly your best since SILENT treatment
I cant wait to read posts from wimp lover like 60 yr George and that poster in MD -- see THE CELT'ts latest story to somehow find a way to BLAME the hsuabnd
I thought for sure that the mom and angela and his friend Davis were going to apply all sorts of pressure on the husband... whY? b/c that is what almost ALWAYS happens in OHIO's stories.
But you did not...
There is One or two glaring points... first he never told JENNY that he discovered her PLOT / scheme to have Angela fuck him to make then EVEN.
He should have done so when he showed her the JENNY room.
second.... he should of showed the room to his asshole Mother (or send her a video) then tell her about Jenny's plots... and bring Angela and Davis over as a witness.
Very nicely done. Thank you, ohio.
I really felt him, and isn't it just like a cheating partner to not realize how much they hurt their partner with their cheating ways?
Oh and to try to get the friend to seduce him into an affair of his own, that was brilliant. The psycological drama in this is enough to drive a person mad.
and I mean WOW!
One fantastic story expertly told. and maybe what I enjoyed the most about the writing was what was not told.
simple direct complete.
I always look for your stories. This story is the reason. (I see Cloacas has reappeared. Perhaps he'll grace us with some more of his excellent writng, and explain the name?) You pleased Harry, and almost everyone else, at the same time! Good job. Keep this up and no one will care if you're a red state or a blue state, Ohio.
Couldn't get past the first page of this story. You seem to have the talent for writing, but "get to the point".
Very well done. And to "verbose". You better stick to comics.
I know I don't give you enough credit at times for your writing skill, but I have to say you had me hooked at this point in your story:
Across the room, Davis growled, "why you...fucking...bitch. You have really got a pair of brass balls, you know that?"
I started laughing and couldn't quit. This was GOOD. I mean really, really good. Kudos on a fantastic story that was well worth all the time it took me to read it.
Don't take offense to this, but I personally find this to be more of a happy ending than some forced reconcilation stories some times turn out to be. (^_^)
It would take more words than were in your whole story to express the emotions and joy I got from reading this. with all due respect to all of my favorite authors, this is the best story on the site. A standing ovation for Ohio. thank you for making my day. LYG
Ohio, this story had me glued to the page. Excellent writing and detailing the facts and most importantly it read like real life and what people actiually do when they are hurt,IT is not pretty and they want it private.
As the old saying goes "been there done that"
Good job and good story.
I don't know, but I came across to the loving wives story that I've been searching for..... Gawd damn this story is awesome!!!!
The dialogue felt so real, how could you not show concern for the betrayed husband? This story had everything, and had some great laughs....(like the comment about Alec's name LOL!)
Great job, I guess for now this is the best LW story yet!!!
Big ass cheerS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I managed to stay with the main character right up until the time he learned that Angie was playing Jenny’s game. Then he lost me by acting irrationally.
Ohio, you have written a diary of a fool with a proclivity to fall for immature females. Why someone would allow himself to be led into a relationship with his estranged wife’s best friend defies understanding. That act alone was irrational.
However, once our hero is given the truth of a second betrayal in the making, you would have thought we would have run from her as fast as he could. Yet the opposite happens, he persists in establishing a relationship with this woman.
Are there no other eligible women in this town?
As a reader, I have to believe that a man who would keep a demented shrine to his wife’s betrayal in their master bedroom could find the capacity to trust her agent in an upcoming betrayal. Someone with that much baggage would trust a self-confessed liar? I‘m sorry, but I could not breach that gap.
The story would have been more consistent if Nick had dismissed BOTH women. As written, the only person who had any clue as to the meaning of Jenny’s infidelity was Davis. None of the women in this tale had the slightest understanding of truth, honor or vows. Even in the closing paragraphs, Angie only seems to understand the depth of Nick’s pain but she still fails to be disgusted with the behavior of her best friend.
Angie is but one-step above Jenny on the humanity scale. That still makes her a very risky proposition. Had she disavowed Jenny’s actions and declared that they were no longer friends she would have risen in my eyes.
As the story ends, Nick has chosen a relationship with a less risky but still undesirable female. That makes him a fool in my book, a sympathetic fool, but a fool nonetheless.
Without a doubt this is the best story in the LW section this year. Crisp dialogue, a believable betrayal, and enough detail to make Nick's reactions completely understandable. Ohio's writing was superb as was his storytelling.
nick has been on an emotional roller coaster since the last 8 or so months.
for a man whose wife --- having being caught fucking in their bed with her lover --- calmly said, "Nick, I found my soul mate. He's everything I've dreamed of; I made some vows but it turned out, you're not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm sorry. I was going to tell you when you returne..."
for a man who was treated that way, who was still playing phone tag with his beloved MOTHER who was on his "side" but trying to get him to allow that creature back and still thought MOSTLY, if not entirely, of her ---- who made a "shrine" out of their master bedroom,,,, this is really "dumb and dumber" territory,,,, that is, for THAT SAME MAN to go and "fall" for Jenny's best friend who, agreeing with Jenny, was trying to get him to sleep with her so as to get him back on some route to Jenny,,,,
dumb and dumber story and character, yes.
the most sensible thing to do --- for intelligent man, even if hurt terribly --- would have been, NO MATTER HOW SLOW HE IS!,
"Okay, thank you Angie. From now on, not only Jenny but YOU, too, are forever erased from my memory, consciously even if I can't do it subconsciously. I will have absolutely nothing to do with either one of you, and if my mother tries again to talk me into "taking Jenny back", or in to talking to you, who are just supposed to be hurting, too ---- I will also sever any relationship with her.
"I don't want to, and I can't, turn gay or any thing; but my dealings with the women I've known so far are done. Other than David, someone who cries and hurts with me, I will form a new circle of friends, including women, beyond you, Jenny, and even my mother, if she wants."
and get the fuck out of that place! Sell it or clean it up. Why make a [hated] "shrine" out of a creature who is not worth an ounce of thought of a good decent person? Of course, one of the conscious reasons Nick did it, he'd argue, is to remind himself of this own stupid "heart" for failing to see such an evil woman.
guess what? He's fallen for that woman's best friend!, who set out to seduce him for her [Jenny]? LOL
sure, Angie has some interruptive thoughts about the whole thing, when they're about to fuck; but it wasn't until after having made a further mockery of Nick's stupidity!
nick is a guy on the rebound big time! he observed angie and said: "although she is not as beatiful, or in the same class, as jenny..." WTF! so now Angie's okay only because he won't/couldn't take the classy and exceptionally beautiful Jenny back! a recipe for disaster for the newness of sexual thrill wear off,,,,,,,, Now, if OHIO, the author, had made us privy to MORE of Angie's character and we had known her to be a loyal, supportive, and substantial freind, like David, through thick and thin, then, yes, we would understand,,,,
The FACT that David, the true friend, NEVER went beyond a few casual outings with Angie OUGHT TO HAVE SAID something about Angie's character: she is NOT that reliable a person or good a friend, by herself; but with her being a best friend of Jenny's ,,,, ah, that says a lot to a more observent/intelligent person,,,,
critiques. Fortunately, it makes apparent that some of you are Monday morning robots who have never been squashed by someone who loved you and maybe had children with you.
Cold analysis under fire is for books. These are humans he writes of. As weirdly mean as she was no one complained of her loving irrationality because we know she suffered in the end by her lover of choice.
Three - countem 3 - real humans did things on Sunday that we on Monday would never have thought of doing - however nearly 50% (divorce rate) of people really do some variation of what happened here. Scary huh!
People are one dimentional - we really only get what we see - just like a mirror. Think about it. Seeing is believing and actions can painfully refute words. Real scary eh. We should be more observant of actions in life and not just words - kind of like young children are.
Scary! Well it is when you entrust your life and future to another whom you trust implicitely. If it wasn't implicite why did you?
The very good writers here write to life and it's complexities much moreso in this theme of marital consequence than any other. Part of that difficult task is there is no mirror for us nor a screen - just his one plane word pictures - that many of us already know. Many of us know they can - can happen with variations in the millions (remember that 50% #).
So grant some latitude if you have never been emotion wrecked & racked to your core by some implicite someone once respected and trusted.
ohio - I think you are almost ready for the big time if this growth continues a bit more and you don't need another hat size.
Very impressive Author. Wonderful believable human emotions pictured with great non-discerned flow.
Another please at interval.
With Very High Regard
Ohio, you've come a long way from you flawed House of Cards. I don't care if there is a reconcilliation or not in a cheating story, so long as the ending fits with the rest of the story. This one fit.
the mom is trying again to get you to take the x back
So I'm reading this story and getting more and more involved and when it is over, I say, "This is the best thing I have ever read from him, maybe from anyone here." And then I click out of the story and then I say, "Wait a minute, I have to respond to that marvelous experience." So, I click back in and pop to the end of the story and find 29(!) comments and read them, and know I am not alone, but I still need to say something about how the story hit me. So let me respond by commenting on some of the comments as a way of telling you how much I appreciate the craft of the writing you show.
The setup with Angie was pretty obvious to me as soon as it started. The breakoff in the midst of her seduction of him was unexpected, but when it happened I knew why. Maybe Angie's not fully explored as a character early on, but it seems to me that if I can understand what's going on before Nick does, then the author has done a good job setting the scene, right? Nick the narrator knows where things are going and somehow tells us that while showing us Nick the protagonist is in the dark. That, my friend, is good - no, great - writing.
And if Angie is a strong enough influence on him to get him to cut off Momma in mid-phonecall, I see great things coming from their relationship.
That healing takes the help of friends, and that sexual healing takes the help of sexual friends is a surprise only to some commenters here. When he realizes that he is not thinking of Jenny as he enters Angie's apartment, we know he is half-way there; and when he sees Jenny the second time and does not have the thumping in his chest, we know he has put her away, betrayal and all. His NOT telling her he knows about Angie's assignment is not oversight, it is an indication of how little he cares any more. He is not trying to give her little digs about her deceptions, he is just beyond caring to have any more interaction with her. The exposure of the bedroom, promised earlier in the story, is important because it allows us to see the different ways the two women react to it.
I could go on, but this is already too long.
Ohio, thanks for a wonderful read. You have matured enormously. This is great. Keep up the good - no, great - work.
I gave this a 25 because old dumb ass Nick jumped from the frying pan into the fire and back and back again. When is Nick going to learn that the women he sees are whores and sluts that will stab him in the back and watch him bleed to death.
Ohio, maybe you wanted the story to read like this, but it sucks. If you stick your hand in front of a rattlesnake and it bites you, are you going to do it again? Nick did with Jenny and now Angela... Nick deserves anything that Angela might do to him like Jenny did.
You start with a lovesick boy and end with a mature adult who rose above the past deceit and betrayal from Jenny to giving his relationship with Angie a chance.
It is totally realistic that people often get their friends to do stupid things. When a marriage dies then are only few options - ended it, revive it or ignore it. When one spouse commit such acts in the marriage they effectively kill it. Unfortunately, many good authors on this site propose these outageous ways for the cheating spouse to hurt their partner and then craft these reconciliation endings. Then "poof" the damage is gone and the cheating spouse is absolved of their wrongdoing.
Jenny with forethought selected another man over Nick. Worse she cheated and lied to Nick during the process until she was ready to end their marriage. Whether Alec seduced her or not she made her choice. It was clear that she really did not love Nick or knew what love was.
Some commenters wanted Nick to beat her or Alec up but why fight over a slut? But you also show that Nick's love for Jenny is not some simple manner to be turned on or off.
I know one widow who after her husband passed suddenly, she set up a room in her house to honor his memory. Some people thought that she could not get over her grief but I knew that her husband was the love of her life. So I thought that Nick's "room of shame" was a good way of purging himself of Jenny.
Overall, one of your best stories. I await your next submission. Thanks!
substantiated and very constructive. It helps the author immensly when your ilucidations are so graphically clear.
It is also very helpful when there is not a hint of personal ire demonstrated - just the facts jack er Lee. It is with the non-partiality evidenced that we know you spend some time and contemplation thinking this through.
Have you not read some of the authors recent works? He is working both sides of the road generally with a believable foundation having been built.
Of course that is just my opinion as we each have the right to expressly differ don't we.
Mr. Lee - please excuse the indirectness? - I seem to recall that I have read elsewhere here some of your other comments in which you more clearly illustrated the why and were generally complimentary. So this was puzzling (and just for clarity, I am not the author).
Oh well - I have my daze as well.
I thought the story was very realistic. The narration was great. And the ending was almost perfect. The X had done nearly theultimate in destruction of the husband. That precludes a return. If he did take her back, how long before she took off with another "soulmate"?
I didn't see that Angie had done anything that should have ruined his trust in her. She was completely truthful and it hurt her, too. Other than a case of blueballs that episode shouldn't have bothered him too much after she "confessed".
It's intense and painful, but also funny. And Angela, unlike Jenny, showed she had some integrity by pulling back from the plan to seduce Nick before it was too late. I don't see why some commenters view her as being the same as Jenny--one has scruples, the other has none!
Just call me an old romantic, but I was hoping that Nick and Jenny would agree to go to counciling to see if they could get back together with trust.
This story hit a nerve with me as it was similiar to what happened many years ago. I didn't catch my wife in bed with anyone, but one day she just packed up, took the children and had her attorney call me to tell me I was being divorced, and that was that. I was just frozen, couldn't do anything so I got divorced without even trying to find out why or doing anything about it. I know, I can't spell.
Ohio, thanks for a good story.
I really liked this one, Ohio. It's a superior plot, with a believably flawed set of characters. I agree with the commentors who have praised the dialogue - both interior and exterior voices are spot on, quite believable. I do think the only real flaw here is not enough explanation for WHY Mother is totally committed to reconciliation - it miht be hard, given the hero's unwillingness to talk, but something could have been done. Otherwise, the various people are easy to understand (yes, even the confused best friend of the wife) without being the cardboard cutouts of much of the fiction in this category. The wife acts like a real woman, in that she's "wingwalking;" she doesn't let go of the unexciting but secure marriage until she has a firm offer in hand.
The portrayal of life after split, with the anger, confusion, mistrust, and the inevitable perception of taking sides, was really nicely drawn. I'm pleased with the best friend, and more so that he's single. The stories with the recently-single guy hangig around with his best (married) buddy make me twitch, because I can't see most wives wanting their husbands hanging with (or their homes open to) someone who's probably a powderkeg of misogyny and suspicion.
Finally, I'm sure that many found the hero's get-together with the scheming best friend of the wife a tad contrived. After all, how can a guy decide to trust the best friend of his cheating ex-wife, especially when she admits her complicity in a forced reconciliation scheme? The truth about relationships like this is that propinquity can trump nearly anything, and they develop a good basis for a romantic relationship through the setup phase. Because she refused to seduce him according to plan and explained why she ran away from him, she has a chance at a relationship. He admits trust problems, and she's wise enough to see that she'll have to ride it out. Very realistic, and all they have to do is get back in Mother's good books. ;)
From a somewhat different angel I will say to Dumb and Dumber what the previously commenter said. The very strength of this story is depicting credible characters, not idealizes fantasies. The husband could certainly use therapy (on his own). He has separation issues with his mother; he does seem to be attracted to immature women; the shrine thing is definitely a huge cry for help. So what are you saying/ that flawed somewhat immature characters are not to be depicted in fiction? You should differentiate between the SELF HELP POPULAR PSYCHLOGY literature which may come with examples, and regular fiction which usually LIKES to collect all types in the margin of society (this guy was still quite ‘normal’ with his growing pains into mature relations. Excellent work Ohio, thank you!
Superb writing with excellent, realistic characters who grow through their experiences in the story. Even a minor character like Davis is developed in a small way, looking at the things that happen to his best friend. Pretty good use of flashback. It doesn't often work in short stories but it does here and does so without disrupting the storyline. Well done on that, ohio.
I appreciated the author's subtle jab at the rambling prose others offer when he chides himself for describing the sex between Nick and Angie in a run-on sentence. That made me chuckle.
An unsophicated plot but one that needs no apology. Clear resolution on the central conflict of the story with the added bonus of more conflict with Angie. Makes for a tight, interesting read. Thumbs up on the quality of this authorship.
This 100's for you, ohio, for a story well-written and well-delivered. Excellent fiction this is.
A very strongly written story . Very tense all the way through . I know a woman who is on her 3rd marriage . Each of the 3 men have been drunken , wife-beaters , but she keeps coming back with another , keeps playing out the same story endlessly . I've never understood this irrational type of dangerous compulsion , but I see it acted out all the time . The husband was obsessed with her . He was addicted to her , he could not shield himself from her machinations throughout most of the story . Thankfully , he did manage to struggle through to an equitable end point , and although we don't know what became of Jenny...I'm satisfied that she finally understood her errors , and went on to a better place herself . Thanks for all the very entertaining stories.
This was a well thought out and executed writing. I liked the character development especilly the frindship with Davis. I had a good friend help me thru a similar situation and know how important that can be on the road to recovery.
great story again ohio.sparks, sorry to hear about your mess.i hope you got your stuff straight and your ex got screwed. wish you could let us know. however, jenny needed to grow-up and if he would have taken her back she wouldn't. if she
didn't grow-up she would probably end up doing it again.dr c
walk in your bedroom another man sleep in bed with your wife nake.you stop and what,start kicking ass and balls,no you do nothing but cry like some sissyboy.this male was weak and mommas boy.he acted more like a girl than a man.
Good (overly long) story about a wimp with only one ball. Poor little guy encounters some of the most evil women imagineable, I would like to feel sorry for him, but he's just too pathetic for me to develope any real empathy.
Some romantic! Wanted to see them work it out and get back together? Not. Jenny was and is still all about her happiness. Who is to say she would not do it again? I like the "shrine" concept. He erected, rather Jenny erected, it and now it is in her mind forever...
Some people think that violence is always the answer. They figure that real men will fight for...for what? Honor? Justice? Vengence? If he kicked some ass, all that would have happened would be a quick trip to prison. He was hurt, he cried, he took her best shot and moved on with his life. Good for him. He met someone he liked and fell in love...even better. Great Story! Keep up the good work
was smart enough to get rid of the trash. The new one may not be much better, but who cares, nice tail is nice tail, and they are to early in the relationship to know where it is going. Some of the critics say he should have done something in the bedroom at first. I would have done something but I am me. He was in shock and totally devastated by his wife, his actions came later, strong and to the point. Jenny is the Drama Queen going from one scene to another, it is all about her, no one else actually matters. Think about the statement she made, "this is the man I have waited all of my life for" spoken to her husband about her lover. If fact telling her husband he is a stepping stone to her future. Dated a girl like this once, she had been previously married, was to marry me, a rich prior lover opened up to her and she went to him. He pimped her out and used her to get others, and I could not have been happier for her. Trash is trash, always throw out the trash.
Is the 'support' characters, Davis in this one, and Danny's daughter in Blue Minivan for example. I'm just a romantic at heart and I sleep better reading about good people like that.
first time i've read a story that has actually dragged me into it, that i felt something whilst reading it.
i hadnt me wishing that 'honour killings' were legal, despite normally being against them, and had me really thrilled that the hero got over the ordeal, and got his life back on track.
you should be a professional author, but then this site would lose its best author.
this was no man,he was a mamaboy.he bitch and whine like a little girl the whole story.jenny had more balls then her hubby,she go get what she wanted.nick to wishy washy.the story make him act gay.
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