by ohio
The whole story is *amazingly* written - the inner dialog with the reader, particularly, I found absolutely riveting! Thank you for sharing!
This was a good story. I think you should have made a few points more obvious to some of the readers, because they probably don't like the Nick on the 1st page very much (and it's very hard to like him) - his break down and ensuing rage I think changed him into an actually more well rounded (emotionally) individual. The Nick at the end of the story is more capable of facing things that he doesn't like and impossible to manipulate like how his Mother and Jenny were trying to do. It was character growth - something that you don't see in these stories very much. The only thing I didn't like about the story is that the situation with Angie seemed pretty trivial, but hey, maybe that was by design. Angie is the heroine in the story so we can't sully her too much otherwise Nick ending up with her doesn't feel good. I get it, but it seemed kind of silly to be but hurt about a girl basically saying that you are so great she fell in love with you. I've had women say way worse things to me (including the one I've been happily married to for almost 20 years). Overall, a stellar story told in a humorous way. 5/5
"Hey, mom? I've got to ask. If Jenny had shot me a dozen times but I managed to survive, would you still think I should take her back as my wife?"
"Because I'd be *more* likely to forgive her for shooting me than for what she *did* do. So if you really expect me to let someone like that back into my life, I guess there will be *two* people I won't ever want to see or speak to again."
The ending is so wrong. Rule # 1 when breaking up with either a girl friend or wife - never create a relationship with her best friend and for sure don't develop a long term relationship. It will always ultimately be disastrous. Women never lose those relationships with each other when it comes to male relationships, oh it might seem like it happens on the surface, but ultimately they will become dissatisfied and katy bar-the-door hell hath fury then best friend friend of the female persuasion.
Rule # 2 is Rule #1 to the 100th power of 1 billion. Oh it may appear to be working on the surface, but women are just that fickle. I mean come on, look how you presented even his mom and Angela played into this ganging up on the MC. Those relationships between women are extremely hazardous and once acidic it affects relationships for eons in uderlying and subtle means and ways.
It is best to do a clean break with any women associated with said former partner. Too much ammo for the relationship to have dredged up and start undermining and eventually like a cancer in the lymph nodes, unsuspectingly spreading through the relationship. Get away from the situation both personally and geographically if at all possible.
Excellent story, well written and a great step up from most of what is posted here, my own crap included.
I do tire of so many of the lunatics whose only motive for reading appears to be "payback". Tiresome, but like the poor, they will always be with us.
Thank you a veryb worthwhile read.
Mostly good, but big-time missing payback on Alec. BIG-TIME!
A little more of an epilog would have been great too.
It was hard enough to get past you having her saying "honey" and "baby" the whole time she was leaving him for another man she was in love with, but I had to quit reading when he recreated the scene in the bedroom and jerked off in the sheets while crying and screaming. Wtf, really? Did he run into the bathroom and start haphazardly cutting his hair afterwards? Dude's a total loser.
Are you a girl? This story sounds like you took a female character and changed his sex to male but he was still acting like a crying girl through the story. Also the drama with a third girl in the mix of this drama. This is literally a chick story, you just changed the sexes. How many times does the main character cry? Looks like the karate didnt toughen him up.
"We have so much in common!" - I'll bet that she'd bring things up that he'd just happen to share.
\
I know it's been said before, but anything he does with Angie isn't an "affair," even if he's still married to Jenny.
Again, the asshole is still walking around upright? Sorry, it figures they live in Ohio (?). In New Jersey, or in Texas, the shit would be toast. What's a little jail time? He was in hell anyway for what, a year?? Sorry, the Bear doesn't like it. 1 star, the Bear passes.
The BEAR
1 star and NO I could not get past the first page - what a pussy whipped wimp this MC is?
He needs to grow a set, before venturing into the real world. There never should have been a second chance with a crazy ass bitch like this example. NOT even remotely possible for a RAAC to happen. This story was a waste of time.
Suffice it to say, a great original story superbly written. The emotional reactions of Nick, the fact that he still had some feelings of love for Jenny even after the horrendous way she treated him was real and brilliant. Ohio is the best and gets a well deserved 5.
Sadly, I think most of us men have met and been "in love with" a woman like Jenny. Thank you Ohio for a great story and especially how well you explained the way most men think and feel.
Ohio is a different, more original writer. It's somehow easy for Darwinians to bash anything, "different." (Sorta how nerds are treated, despite successfulness having been achieved.) It's nice to see some objective intelligence in a few of his commenters. "Original-anythings," take time to become appreciated; the old, I'm (unable to "get-it," so,) I'm not going against the group-mindset. While almost noone is above improvement, and his writing is not flawless, he IS good, and he is rather an original, despite many stories being of a less fanciful, more 'retro' type. I enjoy this. Fewer well connected spies. Less fistfuls of money. People.
Carry on Ohio. Improve, if and when and where, you as you see fit.
Lots of comments on what real men would do…which often involves physical violence. Of course, when the MC’s martial arts skills aren’t put to use to harm Alec, these people are upset. It’s probably good that ohio’s location isn’t known, or they might try to harm him for writing a story they don’t like. Surely that’s what real men would do? The comments from serious writers are more positive, reflecting the talent that ohio continually displays. My only hope is that ohio has chosen to become a reader/commenter because that better fits his current life rather than because of the minority voices expressing negative comments. I, for one, sure miss his deft hand.
Decent story. Good resolution EXCEPT that smug fucker Alec gets a free pass to fuck Jenny, to smile smugly as he gets his clothes and walks out of the room? Fuck. That. Why build up Nick's black belt skills and not even put them to use?
Little confused why anyone, including Jenny, thought having Angie seduce Nick would somehow balance the scales and make itneasier for Nick to bring Jenny back? Jenny stepped out of the marriage altogether. Weren't they divorced by then? Of not still doesn't matter. Wouldn't be cheating. A planned seduction sure. But Jenny and found her fucking soul mate. So wtf? Not comparable.
What Nick did to the bedroom shows he's seriously messed up. That kinda shit is not healthy in the least. Plus his relationship with Angie is on a weak foundation because it started on a lie.
I'm honestly surprised both of those women didn't run out of the house screaming after seeing the bedroom. If one of my friends did that to a bedroom, I'd call social services on them.
So, why did we read all about what a highly trained Karate killer our MC was supposed to be? Oh, I forgot, he really tore up that bedroom and stuff.
Ken in Texas
Wow so the Husband is a cuckold to his Wife and his Mother is his boss a woman as well? What a fucking pathetic joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hated that Alec git away with no payback. Also, he really should have separated from his mom for some time. How could mom put Jenny's needs above her own sons?
What a Great Story, great Writing, great Character Development, Great Dialog! Only bad thing is the broken hearts of Jenny who is seriously confused. Alec deserved his nuts kicked when he got of out bed. Our MC should have dropped something on his head before he woke up. Then damaged his nuts easily enough. Why did he wait so long to get with the other gal? I would have taken Jenny back and enjoyed her again. But that is just me. 5 stars for a happy ending!
5...
...a very minor point: in every style of Karate I know of, board-breaking would have happened long before 4th degree black belt.
Bitch over... great writing !
EastCoaster
zeroZEROZERO... only three zero's and not even a ONE. Worst story I never read, never read never read. I quit after his admission he still loved her. Real men do not have a brain disconnect like that...
Compared to some of Ohio's male MC's Nick is a towering paragon of masculinity. I don't think a wife pursuing scumbag has ever taken a beating in an Ohio story...
This author is the master of writing wimpy men who live to say yes mistress, men with no backbone, self-respect and no damn idea of how to conduct themselves with integrity.
The MC should be counted out of the male population. She is a woman in hiding.
His second nightmare??? His second nightmare is about to come... Angie will see to that.
Oh joy! I had this horrible sinking feeling that he was going to roll over and take Jenny back while his appalling mother stood there wagging her finger at him, saying " I told you so", while he stood there looking sheepish and saying "yes, mom". A beautifully written story with a genuinely happy ending.
'Soulmates'. How I hate that word. WTF does it even mean? Sounds like the kind of chickflick drivel uttered by a menopausal woman who has fallen in love with a handsome waiter from a third world country who couldn't possibly just be using her to get a passport then fleece her for her money!
One of the first LW stories I'd read under an Anonymous alias that I genuinely loved. Had to revisit and show my appreciation. Great work, ohio. 5 Stars.
Fuck me but this guy is a loser. All he does is whine about how unfair life is and how hurt he is and blah blah fucking blah. Never once does he examine his life or his choices or anyone else’s feelings. It’s all about him 24/7. No wonder she left him.
As for Jenny what’s this “baby” or “honey” bullshit?!? Those are terms of endearment, not something you call your former spouse when you haven’t seen them for almost 8 months.
Angie is fucked....he never divorced Jenny. what does that tell you about their future?
I think Nick is right on the spectrum. He needs to man up, lose Davis and learn to confront shit when it comes at him. Had he beat that smirk off Alec's face, he might've saved himself months of stress and worry. But hey, it's fiction, so whether I like Nick or not, he's OP's creation, not mine.
.
On balance, a good story. ("Stool cory, bro!") 5/5!
all been said before except in this story we got the middle bit before the first bit so had to decide what was going on and then a man gets shit on by his first love but can't wait to get fucked again. boring, boring
Great story, I liked it... 5 Stars... He definitely needs to speak to a therapist and an anger management counselor... Jenny made her choice " soulmates " ... The fact that Angie was going to seduce Nick for Jenny is pretty shallow of both women, but Angie telling Nick the truth spoke values of what kind of person she really is...
Not gonna rate it because I couldn't get past the first page. If you want people to care about your main character and what happens to him , don't start of portraying him as an emotional cripple and cowardly man who cannot face his ex.
Nick is a perpetual emotion victim and his relationship with Angie will be a disaster in the end also... he can't tell or relay to anyone how to treat him... he let's them treat him like they want and eventually they begin to totally disrespect him and walk all over, even destroy him, emotionally... he needs serious counseling and to grow a backbone if he is ever to succeed in the relationship department... otherwise, he needs to just stick to friendships.
I wanted a bit more questions from him to her about why she's sorry? I wanted her to answer why she came crawling back after 7months!.
In all honesty it was over when he 'surprised' her that day in the bed, bare in mind she was in control of her decision and feelings then. I would of bought the day up with this;
1 you acted like I was friend of the family and you hid your body from me
2 you called him baby, darling and had his interests above my own
3 you 'fell' in love with him and been having an affair for the last 3+months
4 you told me your leaving me to be with him because your 'soulmates'
5 you didn't really give a shit about my feelings whilst showering, cleaning the bedroom and then finally talking to me about moving on
6 you made it clear you were leaving me, you moved out and never looked back
So in the end right there and the next 7months afterwards was him coming to terms of his life without jenny and maybe only needed a few important answers and then the rest was history.
Sad story where in the end he came out better than in reality and I'm glad for him.
great story but would of lied a different ending to their first meeting, as explained up top
just took a glance at the first page.....nearly puked....jumped to pg 5 to tell u dat u r a fucking perverted wimp.....plz stop writing.... don't waste our time writing about ur wimpiness....u fuckin wimp
Good story! There is one point where Jenny says something like "I made a mistake" and I'm wondering "Because you thought you were trading up, but didn't, or because you betrayed your vows?" I rather wish he'd asked her that. However, I thought it was a terrific story.
...of comments about how wimpy and stupid he was, they were all true. But as a person who has been a transient my entire life (military bratt, 30 yrs AD military) I totally understand the MC. He was raised in the same community and with an overbearing mother that shaped his entire outlook, maybe no fatherly influence at all. He followed all the rules, did all the right things, married the right girl but was totally unprepared for when "bad things happen to good people". He never saw it coming because of his confirmation bias. Everything she did wrong he twisted into an excuse to fit his lifes narrative. He bascally had a mental break down after her betrayal. Does it make him any less of a wim? No, but it does explain his behavior imo. When you grow up like leave it to Beaver you are woefully unprepared for lifes curveballs. I grew up in the instability of military culture, it prepares you for a lot a change. People who spend entire lives in one place, are often caught off guard when thier lives go off the rails by either their own decisions, or the decisions of others. But really this is just an adult fairytale cast in modern times. None of these people are real and none of these events happened. Plus although it is a staple here in LW, very few paramours ever get punished in real life. It was a good read if not frustrating, but isn't that what a good story does, takes you somewhere else for a time and gets you all caught up with characters? Good job Ohio, hope you start posting again soon.
I've read a few comments and some I agree with. 1. Are there no other single women in this town? 2. What kind of mother does he have that supports an entitled princess of a wife? 3. Why does he do nothing about the sleazy actor? However, unlike many others I get Angies dilemma but she came through in the end and I think he will be happy now. Lastly what happened to the Princess? Her downfall would have completed the story. Still a 4 star story.
But, I'm offering it up anyway. You should have had Angie answer that call and say, "Hello? Oh, hi mom. Listen, he can't talk now—he'll have to call you back." Saves some time convincing Mom that the queen is dead, long live the queen.
The way some of these folks get so worked up at a FICTIONAL story leaves me wondering how they deal with
day - to - day life! Thank you Ohio for another very good tale. The rest of you need to get a life.
No way can "call me Alec" be left out of the story! He needed major retribution for his significant contribution to the development of the plot.
And what about Mom? Her "help" needed to be acknowledged! 5*s.
Well I can tell you he is not as pretty as he used to be and is definitely not acting anymore.
After I found out that he had hit Jenny I knew I had to teach him a real lesson. Also I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face.
I caught him one day when he was high on coke and worked him over real bad. His nose was squashed against his face and could not be reset. His cheeks could not be repaired either. His legs never functioned properly again nor did his genitals or his penis.
He reported it to the Police and told them I had done it.
Davis was my alibi for the night and told the cops that I had been with him all night drinking beer and generally feeling sorry for myself (this was before my talk with Angie). Boy I owe that guy big time.
Anyway after Alec was released from hospital he was attacked again and this time the damage was more extreme. He eventually left town after his third attack and no-one has heard from him since.
How the heck does he let Alex walk away smirking, him being a Caucasian Bruce Lee and all? At least he would have had an outlet for all that lent up rage against Jenny. Best keep a close eye on Angie now.
Divorce Jenny, propose to Angie, invite Jenny to wedding and leave Angie at the alter to teach them both. Go back and kick the snot out of mr actor.
Are these the only 2 women in Dayton? Get off your ass and look for someone new you poor, pitiful chump.
How do you manage to make your protagonist so pathetic and hated within 2 pages of the story?
Martial artist, fucks bears in the arse and has a three mile long cock of steel, and even with hyper sexualization and being an epic teenager try hard, you still fuck it up.
Another writer gone the cum sucking route, straight from Chad's BBC. Sigh.
-1 star for not divorcing the cheating whore - they are still married, given the divorce wont be initiated til months after the end of her affair it can have no bearing in an at fault divorce
-1 star for taking up with another lying whore
3 stars
Why Didn't this Guy Kick her to the Curb ? He Becomes a Black Belt In Karate .. And Mister Dumbass who Messed with a married Lady is still walking around ? I Know 3 Black Belts and 2 compete in competition .. No One Messes with their Ladies ..
1) Jenny had been going out with Alec the asshole for lunches and later was fucking him for months. Yet she had no clue he was on coke?? How clueless was the woman?!!
2) How was the asswipe allowed to fade from the story without getting seriously fucked up?!! He just goes on to his next victim without paying for fucking up what seemed to be a perfectly good marriage. Not acceptable ( although it's just a story, retribution should have figured! ) Still, 5*s.
I really like ur style of writing as it tends to show everything in the story,especially emotions, in an almost-graphic way that I could feel it myself.(you know there’s a BIG “but”coming, right?!). But what I noticed in ur stories is that the main character is such a pathetic, wimpy guy that allows others to step on him all the time, even his own mother, and it irritates the hell outta me. Other than that, everything else seem good enough. Keep it up !
It was a nightmare story alright. That Jenny really did a number on that guy. Poor guy was pretty fucked up, almost psychotic. With that shrine to Jenny that he kept was chilling. Unfortunately it happens alot, and with the courts and legal system firmly on the ladies side, it has made this a common occurrence. Frightening for allot of people out there and not much is changing.
Story not real but?
Most stories she is seduced but she keeps going out with the guy so innocently?!
Who can be that stupid!
If you go out with someone else besides husband regularly something wrong
I agree with the ones where she is looking for something different or more exciting BUT I wouldn't forgive and forget either burn the bitch
I have known couples who celebrate 75 years of marriage without cheating
They Work hard at their marriage
3 stars too much crying by him
I'm sure you deliberately try invent the most deplorable, depressing, annoying and pathetic specimen of a protagonist that everyone wants to fucking punch in the face before the end of the first page.
Stop making your lead characters so pathetic, wimping, simping and so reliant on validation by pussy that they accept terrible abuse. Doing martial arts (and please, in future, read up at least on the subject instead of fucking sucking made up facts out your ass) is not an auto man-card - behaviour, evolution and action are the hallmarks to look for.
Honestly, Davis was the man relatively speaking in this series - I was hoping that the story would have died by page three and the protagonist got together with someone to end our misery from his pussy-assed ways (surprise! Took a bit longer but it played out exactly like that). Fuck the protagonist. Davis for president. Let the main character suffer under a woman who had no compunction in playing him for her friend, then fucking him up, reinforcing his need to crawl to her for her immoral and abusive behaviour, emotionally and mentally abuse him some more, then live on gravy street by making him worship her. Fucked up and pathetic. Barfed a bit in my mouth, reading shit like that.
I gave it 5* because its very well written and i just love ohios writing...but...the guy left the bedroom walking? Wtf? And.. After her cheating ass found out the man she "fell in love with" and destroyed her marriage over was a worthless scumbag and then she came crawling back and he foynd out he still wanted her? Wtf? Well...dudes got issues for sure, but it ended well and thats why i gave it 5* but it was painful trip getting there. The guy shouldve been walking out with at least a severe limo, and her cheating ass shouldve been following him dragging her clothes while trying to get dressed and being pushed out the door. Js
I really enjoyed this story, but it needs a proper ending.
I think I have read about the most wimp assed pussy guy and that nobody could be worse, I read another story, and sure enough, he gets worse. Then I read this one. If anybody comes up with one worse than this, then that means there is not a man left in the world. Shit. Have any of you guys ever even met a man. Or is all you know wimp ass pieces of pathetic shit?
He catches his wife cheating and he just stands there while the fucker gets dressed and leaves. He puts up with both cunts (Jenny and his mom). He can't let her go. Angie should run as fast and as far as she can. This guy is a fucked up mess.
The wimpy main character ruined what should have been a good story.
Not that the main character is a wimp and he is. But rather the whole horseshit about "I did this to you" "I am sorry" "My whole world ..." and the rest of cliches for blah-blah-blah.
Ohio, this is one of the worst stories you wrote. Poor plot, nothing to build on, unexciting ... and you could have written this in half instead of doing another empty long story.
How about the part 2 now he's demented locked in a padded room somewhere.
He was already a pussy now he's a bigger pussy. To bad there are only two women in all of Dayton Oh., but then he's such a loser proberly for serial stupud their were only two.
is they have a tendency to return, uninvited, TK U MLJ LV NV
If he is that good at karate ,why didn't is kick the shit out of Alec.?
The guy was too much of a pussy for my taste. He might have loved the Jenny that he married but the clueless whore that took her place and started fucking around didn't deserve shit. And he just left the asshole fucking his wife alone? Fuck that. Even if he wasn't getting back together with her, the asshole deserved at least a late night beating. He just seemed to want to cry over her. Sounds like he was having his period.
If Ohio would have written what you suggested then we'd have had the same old Loving story, (she cheated, they divorced, they do counseling, he gets revenge, etc,) instead of this really original story.
There are many story like the one you suggested, but only a ffew of them break that pattern and give us something worth reading.
If Angie is that attractive why did she not have a boyfriend and why did he get arsehole at her for being honest.
Don't you hate it when a comment starts out like that. As I read your story and then the comment's. I decided to say something also. I started reading your stories from A to M so far.
I can understand why Nick stood looking dumbfounded at Jenny and Alec in bed, shock is a strange occurrence. I understand his reluctance to file for divorce as that is a finality most people don't want to think about. Nick's Mom did what any Mom would do if they cared for their daughter-in-law. Davis and Angie just acted like friends.
I would like to have seen in your story that if Jenny really cared and wanted to get back together she had filed for divorce and then begged for court ordered counseling. They might have found a way to ended it better.
No matter what the outcome Nick should have checked out what was going on with Jenny and found a time for pay back on Alec (he just laid there and smirked) no one should be allowed to skate after that. In all the stories on this site we all know if the asshole wants to spend the night in the husbands bed its just to mark territory.
Ohio it has been long enough, how about a follow up.
Stupidity abounds. Cheating cunt thought she could get hubby back by having her friend seduce him so she could claim they were even. Small problem. She wasn't as stupid. Just smart enough to land the husband as her own. Now the whore is just that, plying her trade in the big city for drug money. A good ending if I say so myself.
Five Stars
Vote 1* for 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄™ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka NEEDYOU200 aka 5+ANNONY!
You really need to stop taking those drugs. green donkey dick? And you seen them!!! WOW you're worst that your dead ex wife of a whore.