by Hooked1957
it was well-written.
but something just didn't sit well with me.
deep inside me I felt that what Leslie and Rollie
was wrong...
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I always think that murder is wrong no matter the reason.
Good read though Hooked1957.
Thanks
An OK story if you like plot twists. but one thing bothers me. The nosy neighbor picked the wife out5 of a photo-array as being there Sunday afternoon when the asshole was shot...
So hes going to let his ex wife stay in jail for the next 25 years to life for crime she actually did not commit.?
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Don't get me wrong the wife is it truly vile disgusting narcissistic cunt. The worst thing about her 2 year long affair is not that I lasted 2 years but it's that the wife was so caught up in her affair that at no point did she decide you know maybe this is not fair to my husband of 25 years. I don't love me anymore but at least he did take care of me and the kids and provide for us. Maybe I should tell the truth about what's going on..
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No the wife didn't do that . The worlds part is that she was so caught up in her affair she did not spend 1 second over the next 2 years thinking about her husband.
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And if they decide to come forward and tell the truth About who killed the wife's lover then both tops are going to jail for lying and covering up evidence and instructing Justice
Aww, nothing says true love like first degree premeditated murder. Hope he doesn't forget to put the toilet seat down...
Interesting twist. He swore that Rollie had ordered the service and, somehow, on safari.
But behold, in a snap, he realizes that his partner was the real killer.
A "light" dialogue, without exasperation or any hint of remorse.
He ponders and what he lets on, he takes her continually into his life.
Many will say that he should hand her over to Justice and with that, free his ex-wife from prison.
She was the Mother of her Children, blah, blah, blah, blah... A traitor, but not a criminal... Fuck her... rot in prison and your lover dead in hell.
Others will say how could Rollie trust Leslie? Simply because of being your partner for a long time.
Think with me: in an investigation, if approached by armed criminals, wouldn't there be a confrontation? Shots would be fired and there could be injuries and/or deaths... I see Sandy's lover as a dead bandit and her as his accomplice, wounded and arrested. A basic analogy that works well, at least in my head.
Initially I offered 3 stars. I'll read back and probably add 1.
But that's just my opinion.
Absolutely loved it. An original story and this is one of those rarest of the rare deserves a high score. Well worth 5/5keep up the good work.
2 Fucking years. Literally! wife got what she wanted, out. and what she deserved.
Ummm.... Why wasn't Rollie the main suspect? The cheated-on spouse always is, but he wasn't even interrogated.
So an innocent woman ends up convicted, framed by his murderer partner. His kids were right and he's a bastard, and unworthy of his badge. And I would have my head on a swivel for Leslie. We KNOW what she is capable of.
The dude's position is just not righteous.
Five stars!! I am surprised that I didn't figure out who the killer was when you described the killers looks earlier in the story
Well that was awesome!
I forgot about the similarity between Leslie and the wife, so I didn't see that coming.
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The only thing missing from this to make it perfect, was some kind of reconciliation between Rollie and his kids. It would be hard for them to keep being angry at their father after the mother was convicted of murder.
Also, it would've been nice to get an update on Sandy, and how she was coping (or not) with a life sentence. Maybe she would've begged him to come visit her in prison, then asked that he keep trying to prove she was innocent... which tips him off about Leslie.
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Anyway, good story, with an interesting twist.
Damn, that was brutal...and I loved it. 5 *****
Very well done, Hooked. Thanks for the Christmas gift.
H leavs his wife in jail knowing that she is innocent and his partner is the killer. He is worse that she ever thouht about being.
Another great one, Hooked! Rollie should be VERY afraid of Leslie though. Who know what would happen if she gets pissed at him?! LOL
Hooked, this could have been a great story, but......
Being careful of where he stepped, Rollie walked outside, his brain thinking in 18 directions at once. He knew that what he saw in the house was the end of his 24-year marriage, although he was still thinking clear enough to know he would verify fingerprints first.
Her eyes filled with tears as the two locked stares. She could see horrible pain in the eyes of the man who exchanged wedding vows with her 27 years ago. She moved to take a seat at the table with her husband.
"I gave her everythin' for 24 years. Somewhere along the line, my love wasn't enough for her, and she found someone else, only she apparently couldn't figure out how to tell me... or get rid of me."
For a great cop, he couldn't even remember how many years he had been married.
While I think you over played the position of his kids, it was an excellent story and had me fooled until the end. You did leave us some nuggets, but like Rollie, I was clueless. LOL! 5*
Well written and nice twist at the end. Many thanks. I think I first read this about 3 or 4 years ago. ???
Just way way too easy: killed the asshole and put the bitch in prison; sweet. The only logic fault that immediately pops up is Leslie admitting to the crime. Now Rollie is an accomplice after the fact, which Leslie would have known and prevented. Why put the man she loves at risk? "You can think what you want to think Rollie. You know you are really lousy at discerning and understanding women. But know this my darling clueless doofus, I've loved you for longer than Sandy was fucking you over, and you never knew. So lets just let dead dogs lie. You're not responsible for what your whore ex wife did, and your not responsible for what your future wife did. I know its a low bar, but let me prove I can love you better and longer than that cheating disrespecting lying slut did. What have you got to lose?" Just an alternative that would keep Rollie in the clear. You still got a 5. Thanks for the effort.
Well written and entertaining, though the guilty party was pretty much revealed in the first few lines when Rollie noted how much Leslie looked like his wife. Still it was good enough to keep reading if only to discover the final outcome. Sadly that part was ruined with the over the top BTB solution. The message here is that adultery is punishable by life in prison, having sex with a married woman earns a death sentence, yet murder and assessory to murder is OK?
A decent story spoiled by 'real man' posturing and the American obsession with guns and violence.
Have to live it when the cheating wife gets indignant that her lover was "cheating" on her. And then remains totally unaware of how hypocritical and ridiculous it is for her to say that.
I'm glad he didn't drag it out, it was already suspicious with the shampoo.
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"Retch," nor "wretch."
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Can we do away with husbands throwing up?
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He shouldn't be talking to her. While he's talking to her as her husband, he's dangerously close to interrogating her as a suspect without reading her rights or having her attorney present.
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"Why would I kill him?" - Jealousy? Maybe she's not his only woman.
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"He... he wouldn't do that to me," - LOL, yeah, a guy who fucks married women couldn't POSSIBLY cheat on HER!
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"It didn't escape Rollie that her assessment of Leonard had changed" - Unless she's a good actress, that would argue against her already knowing about the other women.
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Why the flashback to when they met?
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That was cold.
Another 5* post from Hooked. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.
Karma will come. Sandy cheated, yes, but did not murder. Karma will come for Leslie and Rollie too.
Okay, it aint law and order, but it IS justice. And I'm okay with that. Like the story.
Great story, I loved the ending. Fuck that cheating whore of a wife and her now worm food boyfriend.
I’d read a very similar story here, but forget the author. Even the real killer was pretty clear early on, so the author was certainly playing fair with the evidence. It was the usual strong writing from Hooked1957, so a fun read. Thanks!
So, another well-written story that contains a cast including no one of decent character.
I suppose this is a sign of the times, as it appears to mirror contemporary society.
A pity (for both story and society)!
Good story, but I was close I just didn't put the partner and her looks together.
Good story! I missed the hint you gave when you described the partner as looking like the wife’s kid sister. Because she went to all the trouble of stealing Sandy’s gun, I’d guess she had already decided to use it to shoot the asshole, so premeditated. Cheating should not be a capital offense, but if he turns in his partner, he frees the bitch who cheated him and imprisons the gal who loves him. Tough one.
Thanks for sharing.
A good story line and well written (as usual). For me, the ending caused a loss of a star.
First, I want to say this story was very well written and I really enjoyed reading it. It's 5* for me. All that said, I was disappointed in Rollie's reaction at the end. That's disappointment in the character, not the story. I would feel better about him as a character if he had said "You need turn yourself in, or, I'll be taking you in. You'll be able to plea this to Man 1 possibly, maybe not." I was shocked by his reaction as I found it out of character. Maybe not. I just don't see him letting his ex-wife sit in prison for a crime she didn't commit, even though she committed murder to her marriage. Just my opinion, FWIW.
I liked the Leslie's logic after the arrogant Lothario/predator bragged, "Then he started bad-mouthing you; said he and Sandy used to laugh about her idiot small-dicked husband all the time. He said he wasn't afraid of you and wasn't going to stop"....... Until this point I felt bad for Sandy being setup and convicted but hearing this, confirming Sandy's still present lies and intent to continue cheating, she earned her time. Plus Rollie gets it all in this divorce and she gets nothing, notta, zilch --- another grand BTB moment. We know that if she is a good girl she will get paroled in 5-8yrs.
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Best part is Rollie has already found a new willing love that will fight for him. Now they just need to retire to that special location, island, lake or mountain.
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Some will ask how could Leslie do this so casually - seeing the criminal element everyday and being lied to daily - hardens cops. Similar to combat once you kill in self or in another's defense and see the death of fellow troops/noncom's it gets easier pulling the trigger. Then when you cycle back home your mission to put the war behind you and live a good life. But a cop NEVER leaves the war-zone it surrounds them 24/7 - either harden up or go PTSD/burn-out/psycho.
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However, 'Hooked' you did misled us by omission of Leslie's physical details.
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4.8*****, Hooyah, Salutes....
Well done! As the tale unfolded, I was figuring that maybe one of the creep’s other 2 lovers might have done it. But….how could they possibly have obtained….AND RETURNED…the gun?
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What still didn’t really compute was his partner waiting for Rollie to figure it out before making her play for him. She just waited over a year? Patience of Job…..
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One more thing: his kids were horrible. Bit disappointed that you didn’t expand on what happened between Rollie and them after all said and done…..
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5 *****
Excellent writing, kept me in suspense. Well done and worthy of the 5 I gave it.
Well written and a great plot 5 star effort. One major editorial correction is required: "it only took five days before a jury came back with a guilty plea" jury's don't return pleas they return a VERDICT.
Some resemblance to the Harrison Ford film " Presumed Innocent."
Not a copy though.
5/5
There were a couple loopholes that could have possibly got the cheating bitch off the murder charge. Her alibi was showing some property out in the country. First of all, her defense would have tried to find who she was meeting. That would have led to burner phone (because the female cop would not have used her own). Real estate agents always protect themselves and cover who they are seeing. I have even had to let them copy my driver's license before going off in private with one. That would have put a little doubt on how the alibi was set up.
Second is the gun. Yes it was the wife's. But a .22? Shows she is not big into shooting. And if she is not, who cleaned the pistol? Most likely her husband. So his prints would have been the most likely ones found. Hers might have been if she stashed it in the closet, but she would not have held like she was shooting it. Especially if wrapped and hidden. Enough for the defense to make a case for somebody framing her.
I still loved the story. I am just a nit-picky bastard.
Like many probably thought, I thought he framed her. Then on the 2nd page I realized it might be his partner just a few paragraphs before she confessed. That isn't justice, but like Rollie I think I can live with it. Whatever she thought of the boyfriend, she wasn't loving her husband. She was a user. The ending wouldn't work in real life, but it's just fine in fiction. Good story well told!
"Cops got no morals, just cold cold cold..."
Cops is people too.
Pretty neat and tidy. 4+
Unlikely a female cop would depend on her civilian looks to fool a neighbor (who Leslie probably did not know about) to cover for a murder!
Then there is the shot at close range from behind. Also … Sweetie would NOT have powder-burns on her hands nor her sleeves, but those would have checked for immediately and thoroughly.
It would be cool to let the ex wife know that he is aware of her innocence but he is doing nothing about it.
Ole Rollie should re evaluate his detective skills. If he thinks he's the best in the department after missing his wife's relationship for two years, that's where I would go to commit A crime.
@sioburn - you're an idiot without morals. This had nothing to do with her being a cop, she woulda done the same if she was a civilian. The story would and could have been identical if they were accountants. I'm generally not happy with murder, but as they said in Texas, he needed killin'. Anybody with a wiff of empathy or ethics would have been on the side of protagonist and his partner. Yeah it was illegal. BFD. Legal and moral/ethical aren't always the same. Oh, and the only reason you are free to badmouth cops, is because cops are what prevents a random psychopath (or just a random guy feeling entitled) from raping you or killing you for money.
ppl forget that cops are just ppl 92% of police officers are criminals with badges and guns with a license to use them. think about it a bit thats why cops scary me and avoid them like the plaque. i liked the kids reaction she is their mother all they are thinking about is their mother going to prison. he is the husband he is think of her betrayal. other than that it was ok i guess
Surprise, no love lost for the ex and no telling who anybody loves these days. So the question ia would you let your ex rot in jail for murder and screwing around on you for two years? Let me think about that for awhile.................. considering the pain I felt when I lost a family and my two girls because the ex wanted some fresh meat, yeah I'd let her rot for the pain she caused me. 5 stars
Some people turn stone cold when sufficiently wronged, which makes this believable in a fictional story. 5/5
Roll better not forget to take out the garbage or she'll put one in his ear. Are you serious? Who would happily drive off into the sunset with a self confessed murderer? Now that she has told him the only choice he has is to turn her in immediately and hope she isn't able to drag him down with her with a bullshit story that they planned and executed the killing together. If he says nothing she has got him by the balls to the end of his days. Writing was pretty good. 4 stars.