All Comments on 'Too High a Price'

you put a lot of time, energy and talent into staying true to the original and putting your own spin on it.

Thanks for a great read!

So well written, so well constructed, such great reading. The story held me spellbound, in it's grip until the inevitable conclusion. Thank goodness that every once in awhile there comes a tale from an author as talented as Longhorn. Can we plead for more from his "pen?"

You notice that I've commented on the writing, the construction of the tale, not the subject matter or the theme. That's what comments should be. Those who agree or disagree with the actions taken by the characters are missing the point. The characters do what the author compels them to do. Do you rail at real life scenarios? Personally I sympathized with Early's decision, but that's a personal preference. It's the author's decision as to how the tale evolves. I thought that this was a great read. My thanks to the author.

wow that was 100% perfect.

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but more importantly it <b> PROVES </b> something else...

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In one of the other verious endings to the base story as set up by Troubador.... Troubador posted in the feedback section that the actual evidence is Not all the damning against susan and that he could think of several other possible explanations / endins that did NOT have Susan cheat <b> AND</b> at the same time explan why she could not say to Early " no I did not cheat on you" .

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But in his feedback post.. Troubader

actually misquoted his OWN original story.

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The emphasis by LONGHORN on the the PLANNING by susan is the KEY point and one I have made at least 5 times in the various endings feedback sections.

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However your way is much better. The ending

you came up with is fabulous and shows why it

is over.

Longhorn,

I must say I like happy endings, and I enjoy the complexity that can come from them. However, I think you nailed this one.

She did not have a clue, but she did have a plan. It killed that marriage. Excellent, I wish I could give you a higher rating.

I do enjoy your writing and hope you write more.

you and the original author talk too much over and over about the same thing.you wasted all the time talking about it wasn't adultery and how susan wasn't a big whore.what you should talked about what was going to happen to john ass.what you should've done is us how early is going to get justice for him being wronged by his wife and her lover.see i don't understand how male writers with any balls bullshit around the justice and revenge issues.this story as well as the orginal was a lot of hot air.

I wish that when I had a mental attack, it would result in creativeness like this. I loved this eneding. If this was a just world, troubador's story would only be a setup for a GREAT ending. I know this is only a story so whatever we think doesn't really matter but, I think Early commited emotional suiside and with just cause. For a supposedly educated person, Susan was a cpmplete idiot. Early has been destroyed by what she has done and no good will follow for all of those involved in this tragedy. God dam the John Strickners of the world.

The characters in this story stayed true to the characters in the original story. Early remained the same highly principled, resolute, and thinking adult that was presented to the reader in The Troubadors tale. After careful consideration Early decides he cannot get beyond the deliberate treachery of his wifes planning and subsequent actions. The marriage is over.*****Whether there is an ending that would show Susan did not cheat is now rendered moot. This ending is far superior to any kind of contrived resolution to the 'did she?' or 'didn't she?' question that has been dealt with in past efforts.*****Too High A Price is an excellent example of a carefully thought out story which has been constucted to show the pitfalls of a discovered infidelity. The imagery of Early ascending the staircase as he stives to maintain his higher moral standards versus his wife below him in her fallen from grace state is simply wonderful.***** Kudos to the author. May 'High...Price' finally rest in peace.

This was so well constructed and written that I can only say ...WELL DONE.

There is another ending you should think about have Early go after Stickner and file a Law Suit against him and have him disbarred from being a lawyer with susans help early should send her back and to Stickner with a tape recorder and get him on tape and to have him shoot his mouth off about him getting sex from susan and other things for sexual harrasment try that for an ending.also early should have gone to Stickners house when he got back while susan was there then caught her in the act that would give him cause and the evidince for for a divorce

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

There is another ending you should think about have Early go after Stickner and file a Law Suit against him and have him disbarred from being a lawyer with susans help early should send her back and to Stickner with a tape recorder and get him on tape and to have him shoot his mouth off about him getting sex from susan and other things for sexual harrasment try that for an ending.also early should have gone to Stickners house when he got back while susan was there then caught her in the act that would give him cause and the evidince for for a divorce

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

Orion623 nailed it. Thanks for writing and hope to see more. Phil

I've read several takes on this story, but this one had a new concept that made me stand back and think - and that's the job of a good author: to make you feel, and to make you think. What destroyed the marriage was not only the infedility, but the careful, premedidated steps taken towards that infedility. Every time Susan took one more step closer to the goal, she was choosing her boss over Early. Every time Susan planned one more step, she was choosing to cheat. And every time she took one more step to executing this plan, she was choosing to lie, thinking she'd have her affair and her husband completely oblivious to the fact. There were so many moments where she could have stopped to think, stopped to execute, but she didn't because it was about her selfish wants - so how can love survive that? it can't because she put herself above all else.

Thanks, Longhorn, you've been missed. That's why I miss the old authors, they make us feel, they make us think while giving an excellent read.

Though no actual sex scenes in this story but nevertheless I like it very much. I like the heart-wrenching dialogues of Early. Full of emotions. Very very real. Good writing.

... writing. Sequel fits very well without a break to troubadors story. Only Susan as story-character abides a colourless person. But this was certainly not your motivation.

Thank you very much for always good reading.

I think you have written some wonderful stories, but, in my opinion, this is not one of them. In the original Susan was a stupid even naive women who was crushed when she realized how stupid and naive she had been. For Early to divorce her would make sense, but for a man who has been described as mild ,easy going and logical to get drunk and spend the evening throwing vicious insulting barbs at his already crushed wife is totally out of character and not very good reading. I was originally a critic of Susan, but after reading your sequal, I feel more contempt for Early than for Susan. One of the few things I dislike about your writing is your tendency to make wronged spouses cruelly vindictive at the end.

60 Year old George

Easily up to L_07's usual standard. This tale delicately illustrates the turmoil caused to someone who values their partner. The depth of damage, and the repercussions to, the relationship are well portrayed. Early remains true to Troub's original. Quite frankly, a great example of short story writing. I always look for work by Longhorn.

you brought closure to this great story excellent.......thanks

At least to get to be a partner of a high class

firm. Therefore the image that George 60 years

had of her being weak and naive was an error in

comprehension. Perhaps she had a mental block or a personality defect as another Susan had

in "We have got to have a talk". The analysis done

here by Early is just about perfect. It is strange

though that a person of her caliber would not feel

that the worse case scenario should pre-empt her

fun. Great work Longhorn!

"I suppose I still love you. I probably do…I guess…maybe. Heck, I'm not even sure I know what love is anymore, Susan, but I know what you've been doing behind my back isn't it." <p>

"Anyway," he continued, "I won't use love as an excuse to forget the total lack of…respect…is that the word? I don't know…heck, it'll do. What I won't do is use love as an excuse to tolerate…to get over your complete lack of "respect" for me and for our marriage, Susan." <p>

...... "I have to take back what I said this morning. I don't think this is going to work out. I don't think there's any way on earth I will feel good about you ever again. Actually…right this minute…I don't think all the years we have left on Earth will put us right again, Susan." <p>

....."No…actually, they wouldn't" ...... "Susan," he continued, "I think it would be a good idea for you to move out tomorrow…or as soon as you can." <p>

+++++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

Finally, it's time some guy stand up and say, IT'S TIME YOU MOVE OUT... as soon as possible! All these stories about guys scampering upstairs, into hallways, into bedrooms, to PACK and get the hell out and into some small motel room to drink, cry croc tears, and to fuck hookers when they are drunk, not caring whether they might catch diseases or not,,, it's too freakin' stupid! The cheating spouse should be TOLD TO MOVE OUT, like this guy here did!

classic and amazingly offensive post from 60yr George... one of the Kings of the reconcilaition at all costs nuts here at LIT.

Early says "Fuck" like 2 ro 3 times to his cheating wife the very day he finds out what she has dne... Big Deal. Yet George thinks Early is being Harsh?!

Gee I wonder why 60 yr George doesn't think Susan's Deliberate planned cheating on Early is NOT Harsh?

Extremely well written to a very logical conclusion.

Just to counteract "60 year-old George". It was a good tale, and don't let senile people tell you otherwise. Adultery hurts some people more than a gunshot. To suggest that hurt people do not lash out toward the people that caused the pain is retarded.

finally we have the perfect ending to "how high a price". thanks for writing.

Longhorn: <p>I thought you stayed true to the original. Your extrapolation of what would have occurred between between 'Susan' and 'Early' seemed very reasonable to me. What I especially appreciated and enjoyed was how you didn't invent <i>variables</i> that would account for 'Susan's' behavior.</p> <p>For me this was a story which should only include 'Susan' and 'Early.' The character of 'John Stickner' was ancillary in the original. I've always felt that his character should remain so in any sequel, as you cast him in your story.</p> <p>I must commend you on keeping the characters consistent with those depicted in the original. I particularly enjoyed 'Early's' introspection. It more ably made me feel his angst. While I respect "60 year old George's" opinion, I didn't see 'Early's' remarks to 'Susan' as vindictive. I thought his responses to be very realistic for a man, a husband, who had been betrayed. Actually, and I believe this was in keeping with the original character, he was restrained in his comments.</p> <p>Thank you for your submission. While a long time coming, this sequel was worth the wait.</p>

Im not sure about the people who think its inconclusive or that early was too mean either. I really liked the way you wrote him in this story. He didnt go against the original and he behaved in a reasonable way imo. <p><p>

He was half cut so wth else is he going to do except verbally attack susan? If he been all level headed and calm, it would have really been hard for me to believe. What would that say about the marriage they had or person early was? To me, it would say that the marriage wasnt that important and that early was a cold fish. Him being hurt and lashing out seems to fit in with the kind of person/marriage we are told they had. <p><p>

I also think that early's conclusions about susan's character and motivations fit her actions better than most other versions. Even if she really is a dumb and obtuse as she wants her husband to believe, his conclusions make sense from his (and my pov). Her reasoning and justifications are just so lame that he has to think she is just kidding herself. Either she is a whore willing to sleep her way to the top, or she wanted to fuck John and was just looking for an excuse (like early said). <p><p>

I would have liked to see more of the follow-through but thats just me and not having it doest detract from what there is. I just like to see the good guy (or wronged party even if he's not a good guy), get on with their life and be happy again. I think its a better ending than leaving him busted up and miserable over the loss of the marriage he thought was forever. It would even be ok to susan moving on (after we found out what happened wrt her workplace - its seems that she fucked her career up at the same time she fucked her husband over but maybe not). Even if didnt lose the job that meant more to her than her husband, she was still kinda pathetic so an ending where she learns from her mistakes would have been ok.<p><p>

Even without the happy ending I usually like, this was still a really, really good story though. The characters were believable, the husband was flawed but still someone you could empathize with, and the wife's behavior makes more sense when explained this way than in any of the other attempts. Thanks very much for writing and I hope we see another of you great long-format originals soon as well (not that I dont appreciate this one).

with a sense of reality, fairness and balance. Congratulations Author, you shut the gate on what should have happened in the real world given the prior foundation of knowns.<P>

In fairness, this could be thought of as the perfect end to a story of marital disrespect begun by another. I think it is. As it mirrors what a highly emotional interaction of spouses trying to discuss what one's totally selfish and calculated infidelity has done to their special agreement of singular love, trust and risk for the other.<P>

Author - at last - at last - here was a very human understandable reaction after some time and contemplation that ends this story on a rational plane.<P>

Disgusting selfish actions which couldn't help but deeply offend will cause any reasonable person to react emotionally.<P>

Here the Author stayed on course building a rational scenario of her plans and cold hearted execution to get what she wanted without concern for the outcome or if non-discovered the changes in feelings which were soon to be bubbling up and affecting both parties.<P>

Perfect Story Ending? I don't know how it could be expressed and sold any better.<P>

KUDO's Author!!!! More soon please.<P>

With Very High Regard

...but the only thing I would add is this: Susan may be a good lawyer and she may be able to walk away with 50% of everything. However, I'm sure that, with all the character Early manifested during the aftermath of her betrayal, he will gladly give it all up for the peace of mind he is already longing for. He will ultimately win regardless of how much he loses to her in the settlement.

Longhorn, you have written some very good stories. All that I have red were excellent. Even your version of this story was very good. But gosh...whatever happened to an author writing a story that included a beginning, middle and end, and then presenting it as his own. There must be at least 10 different versions of this story floating around. Troubador should have finished it, posted it, and then move on to something else.----------Do writers on Lit.com have some sort of cabal based on violating the conventions of story writing so that they can each write the same story, over and over and over...?

I do not understand this approach to storytelling or writing. I guess the answer is that if there are readers for this approach to writing, writers will compromise their own integrity in order to fulfill it. Cheers!

Excellent writing by a very good author. Kudos, Longhorn__07, for a very good ending to The Troubador's classic tale of a cheating wife. I thought you did very well keeping the two characters thoughts and actions consistent with those in the original tale.

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I do have a nit to pick with the idea that Susan premeditated everything. Early asks at one point, "<I>how many excuses went through your head until you found one that fit what you wanted to do. I had to repay him.</I>" That 'reason' for her to cheat is incredibly lame as Early's own pronouncements later show. Yet, if we're to believe Early's suggestion that she preplanned everything, then we have to think that she would've prepared a better 'reason' when (not if but when) she got caught. She didn't and I'm forced to conclude that, in fact, Early caught Susan offguard, and the 'repayment' notion was the best she could do on the spur of the moment. Chalk it up to Early's hurt that's talking or that he made a mistake. It still doesn't change the salient fact that she cheated on him and, premeditated or not, it's still wrong.

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A well-deserved high mark, Longhorn__07. I thank you.

<P>

P.S. Just so we're all clear on this, drinking caffeinated soft drinks after consuming alcohol does not decrease the time required for you to sober up. Neither does drinking coffee. The amount of time needed for your body to sober up depends on your body mass, the amount of alcohol you consume, and your body's rate of alcohol metabolism. The water in the soft drinks might help you from becoming too hung over. I don't recommend drinking alcohol to anyone but, if you drink, please do so responsibly.

Wow! That was intense. It seems as if you concentrated your entire literary prowess, which usually spreads over much broader scope, and focused all its power into the here and now of, essentially one mis en scene. I could feel and see every movement of each partner; I could see the light and the shadows, all being used brilliantly to illustrate the mood. In fact, with not to much change it could be a base for a dramatic performance in two acts. The shift in Early’s mind happens almost in one sequence. The drinking in the Bar set’s the stage for the final confrontation, where he only needs to come to terms, maybe clarifying to himself , doing the inevitable processing; coming to the unavoidable conclusions as he was talking his pain through. All this time, his wife is mostly a shocked witness to his evolving monologue on his way out of the living room and out of her life. Just brilliant.

If I dare give you an advice, try another short and intense story where you don’t need to ‘tackle’ multiple characters over many subplots over prolonged period of time. One genre is not better or worse than the other, just like poems are not better or worse than stories.

Anyway, this was just amazing, and I thank you very much for this story.

That's the problem: cheaters and thieves and murderers do NOT plan to get caught!<p>

Whether it is Oliver Twist's days, where pickpockets were hung to scare pickpocketers but instead such events attracted more pickpocketers in the giddy crowds,,,, or today's capital punishments in Texas and other states, aiming to "scare" murderers: the "logic" just don't hold! <p>

People, on average, do NOT do things after they have envisioned the severe consequences they're going to have to endure BEFORE they do those things (cheating, thieving, or killing), no!! they do them because they tell themselves they are too smart and they will GET AWAY with them! <p>

in this story, as originally started, of course it was PRE-MEDITATED on Susan's part to cheat: <p>

Early and Susan were not to down and out characters, with 5 small kids, getting by with mostly Catholic charity bread on a weekly basis; they are two successful lawyers.<p>

it is total --- nothing but total DISRESPECT for your husband or wife --- when they talk to you on the phone, unbeknown to you FROM YOUR MARITAL bed, asking where are you and how you're gonna spend the night and you LIE to them that you're, AT THAT TIME, on top of your lonely marital bed, thinking of them, WHEN IN FACT you've packed enough tong and panties to last a few days with a colleague from your work, at his place, "paying" him for his generosity, by sleeping with him.......<p>

.... and THEN come home later to tell your spouse, to whom you've lied, how much you "love" him and that you JUST HAD TO FUCK YOUR COLLEAGUE because he was so generous and helpful, so gentlemanly, he didn't ask for your pussy but you're willingly giving it to him.... as a "reward" for his generosity...... and, guess what, honey, that fucking with John had NOTHING to do with MY LOVE FOR YOU! <p>

Any person, who is NOT into swinging or "open" marriage, who would be willing to live or love such a character needs to have his/her mind checked by a psychiatrist...

Early demonstated severe restraint in dealing with a woman, who altho highly educated and professional, had a set of mental problems that overcame her sense of morals and ethics. Thus causing her to ruin a marriage to a man she is stated by her to love, honor, and cherish. If George is 60 I am his senior and I find his logic both questional and illogical. The very minimum thing early needs to do in this case is to get this lying cheating, whoring, (yes if you have sex for work reasons you are a whore), off his hands. Many of us have said it and we repeat: no woman cheats of accident, it is always by intent. And given the chance, as Early commented, with an adequate reason and opportunity she will again. One other comment if I may regarding the state concerning execution of murderers. You dont really execute a murderer to keep other from murdering, after all anyone committing murder is not really sane to begin with, but to prevent that person from committing the same act again. No being in prison doesnt stop the murderer, prisoners kill prisoners and guards. It is like trying to stop a religious martyr from killing you for his God, nothing you say will stop him, nothing you do can stop him, save ending him and letting him go to his God. Again a very good ending for a tormented story.

How to make real ??? bijin.judy@yahoo.com

The Troubador has said about his story that there is some innocent explanation where Susan did not actually cheat on Early. As Early stated in your story _____________________________________ "You planned this…it isn't something like you letting passion get the better of you one night. It wasn't a mistake…you knew exactly what you were doing every step of the way. You deliberately decided to take a little vacation from our marriage and you worked hard to make it happen. You manipulated me...all of us, just to get what you wanted, Susan"._________________ It does not matter whether she fucked John Stickner. She did everything that a lying cheating adulterer would do. She planned the whole weekend. She ensured that someone would cover for her. She lied to him about her whereabouts. She defended her time with Sticker expecting him to accept her actions. If she was truly innocent why the tears and the deception? If there is an innocent explanation and she is an attorney why the evasion given how she hurt Early?_______________________________________________________

When I first start reading The Troubador's story I thought tthat there was some sort of explanation for Susan's actions and Early had overreacted. I waited for The Troubador's second or concluding part to this story. When there was none forthcoming and The Troubador stated that there were many innocent explanation I went back and I examined her behavior. Unless she was acting under duress there is no reasonable answer for her actions and reactions to Early's accusations.___________________________________

Your story pointed out that Early does not have to have an army of detectives following Susan around to catch her in the act. Her actions on its face show that she can not be trusted. She put Stickner (or herself) ahead of Early's welfare. The only question is whether Early wants to live a life of doubts or regrets. Thanks for an outstanding story!________________________________________________________

SleeplessinMD

Your point does make sense if she was trying to give herself an out if/when she was caught. Early didnt accuse her of that though. He accused her of trying to justify what she wanted to do to herself though. She was looking for a way to talk herself into doing something she wanted to do, not trying to make up a reason that early would believe. As others have mentioned, she didnt expect to get caught. <p><p>

I think that Early's assessment of the situation is right on the money given the facts he has. She wanted to fuck stickner but wanted to think of herself as a good person/wife at the same time. She couldnt just cheat without a guilty conscience so she had to rationalize it somehow and this was the straw she grasped onto. Rationalizations arent logical by their very definition so this makes perfect sense to me. <p><p>

Anyway, I still think it was a good story and I didnt have any problems with early's assessment of susan's actions or character.

Longhorn,

caused me to go back and reread several of the various endings by other authors. I like yours best of all because I'd not considered her actions to be so premeditated as you described them. Several commentors talk about Early's character not being in keeping with your portrayal of him but they are wrong. Early's training and his job required him to think through a problem and rethink it again and again until he had the answers he needed. It was during this process that he finally understood how she'd betrayed him with malice afore thought. That's what caused him to act in the manner that he did; it was her contempt for him that put him into the frame of mind to act as he did. Thank You. Ronnie W.

that Troubador story. this one is very well written. and i like its angle. the only skipticism i have is the time it took Early to think things through. its too short.

This is a very good ending to the story and excellent writing.. But, by my nature, I don't really like it.. I like happy endings and this isn't.. This doesn't quite tell you just how totally, utterly devastated Susan was.. And it's hard for me to think of discarding a woman I've lived with and loved desperately for ten years or more.. It might be true that she would repeat her actions someday but, I'd like to destroy Stickner and get past the incident through counseling.. I think I would be happier with her than without her, in the long run.. I think it would be worth the effort to find out.. I don't think the incident had to be all that much planned, either.. They were taking a celebration time-off and Jennifer was included so the temp could well have been acquired that afternoon and indoctrinated.. Her "clothes' hastily grabbed on the way to Stickners.. Some forget the big case for Susan has just been resolved and needs celebration.. The celebration took a twist that was horrendous in judgement for Susan.. But, maybe it was just the fact she wanted to wet his wick..

Excellent story both technically and from the stand point of content. You captured Early's honorable and old fashioned natures, as described by the Troubador. My only small nit to pick is the story primarily seems to be an Early monologue of his thinking. There is little of Susan, except Early's understanding of how she rationalized her behavior. Great story. You are one of the best authors on this site. Please write more.

One more time I'am deeply impressed by the keenness of your conclusions and the power of your words, LH. Your chapter is the most logical and by far the best of all written sequels to Troubador's basic story. Above all I liked the way you demonstrated Susan's incredible stupidity, without saying it. Her idiotic argumention is one among some rather weak points in Troubador's plot.

Thank you for a pleasant hour… It's a pity that it takes such a long time to write a good story and so little time to read it… But it will extend my pleasure to read and reread your amazing tale while discovering new aspects in it. Thank you once more…------Bavarian

This is fairly well written but not quite as well written as Troubador's story, in my opinion. The story's plot is minimal and weak. There is just the husband, Early, who gets drunk (seems to be the classic move in a lot of the cheating wives stories when Hubby finds out about the cheating), comes home, berates his wife, then decides the marriage is over. BTW, even though she cheated, it's usually Hubby who needs to move out. Not sure why, but wifey usually gets the house, even if she's "at fault" and makes more money! I can understand the urge to finish or create alternate endings for stories but it is really difficult to maintain the writing style of the original author. A good effort but it could have been better. The ending is realistic in the sense that the marriage is over; not sure why Susan can't seem to understand this or admit it. My feeling is that she was upset and crying because she got caught in her tryst, not because of any sense of having done anything wrong. It would be interesting to have another part to the ending where her thoughts are explored (from her perspective) -- maybe a female writer could do this?

I agree with the others-focusing on the premeditation was excellent. Once Early realized that she was now 'damaged goods', divorce was the ONLY solution. I can't think of any possible reason he'd want to share a bed with her in the future. I thought he should've asked her leave right then-not tomorrow or whenever. He also should've told her that he'd make sure Jennifer knew why she going to be single. He needs some vindication against Stickner, too.

Thanks for a GREAT read!

Jedbeaker

This is the most logical and probable ending that I've read so far. It is interestingly as close as possible to the original story.

Longhorn_07 you have nailed this one. All the other endings have Susan being a victim. It was just an innocent fling. There is no such thing, but a tawdry affair that crushes Early. So he looks at her and understands what a conniving person she really is. Thanks for a great read. Luis

This was a little too melodramatic for me. I thought that Early wouldn't ever shut up when he stood on the stairs and started lecturing. He was a little too didactic for my tastes.

Say what you want to say and shut the heck up is what I'm saying.

Longhorn writes well but I wish sometimes he could shorten up his stuff a little. Sometimes we go over the same territory more than a few times and it gets a bit old.

A pretty good story, nice plot and characters,with a decent flow to the writing. The ending was spot on. You did over use the word "heck" with the character of Early. Please continue with additional stories in the future.

I do see that this is all in the heat of passion and no real understanding will be theirs till time can let all see what has really been done. It is not a night or a week that will let all of the feelings become clear. It is not in ones mind or alcoholic thinking that will let everything become clear. It is the pain that is now paramount and the guilt that is all they can really see. It is now the time to strike out with all that pain and lash the other with all the hate of what was done and denial of what really it all means.<p>This is the precursor to what is down the road and is just the very beginning of the tale. Some facts are evident and yet where are these facts in the ending going to stack up. It is so little in what she really feels as it is just one sided in dialogue. Some how a third party will be required to end this horror for both of these people to ever have closure.<p>I really am a little unsatisfied with the lack of any real response from the wife as it appears as just the husband’s thoughts we are dealing with. Premeditation is an obvious start as to where they find any common ground to have any further discussions. It is a sorrowful act and it is not a mistake it is a want that was followed through with. She will have to face why she has or will act like this.<p>I find this another excellent writing of yours. Thank you for taking all the effort to give us your takes on adultery in this sequel!<p>PT

This is by far the best I can recall of the endings to HHaP.<BR>

I don't think one thing Early said is something any person in his situation would not have thought. Some people, quite obviously, are able to push those thoughts away and reconcile with their partner - others are not, as LH showed with Early.<BR>

Actually, I was waiting for someone to mention the detailed planning required. How can anyone say, "It was just a terrible mistake!", when they planned for it to happen? A mistake is maybe when someone gets drunk and another takes advantage of that.<BR>

The old saying: "If you have sinned in your heart, then you have sinned." is relevant, and stands true, completely independent of any religious connotation. In my studies and, I suppose in life, I have learned that the actual deciding and planning to do the 'wrong thing', the numbing of conscience to accommodate the intended action, is more difficult than actually doing 'it'.<BR>

In Troubador's story, the detailed planning required denotes deliberate and considered intent, facts which surely would not escape a man as clever as Early is painted in the story. I believe he knew in his subconscious the marriage was over when he spoke to Susan from the <I>lonely</I> bedroom.<BR>

Short of a 'deus ex machina' ending, there is no hope for the marriage with a perceptive man like Early as the husband. (Though someone's ending using 'forgiveness', was it?, was not bad!)<BR>

And, any woman knows, the "It was merely sex - I LOVE ONLY YOU!!!" plea is just so much bullshit.<BR>

Susan knew the eventual outcome of her actions. Had Early not found out, this time or ever, she would have eventually left him - she already has in her mind.<BR><BR>

Also, we have Troubador, after the event, trying to tell us, "nothing Susan said indicates she cheated on Early", "You are all blinkered and can't see what I intended you to see".<BR>

Well, if he really did intend readers to be in two minds, and he really meant what he wrote to be ambiguous, why did he tell us the story was about a "wife's infidelity"?<BR>

We often snigger and say to ourselves, "Oh yair..." when, in an LW story, the wife, overheard by her husband telling her lover how much bigger/better etc he is than the husband, then tells hubby, "I love only you. I didn't mean a word I said to him. It was only sex, not loving like with you."<BR>

It is just as incongruous for Troubador to say, after the event, "That's not what I meant." Especially after being so specific initially.<BR>

On top of that, it's primary school playground stuff to say, "I know all about XXX, but I'm NOT TELLING!"<BR>

If there are several possible scenarios for Susan not having cheated, it's quite long enough after the original for Troubador to spill the beans.<BR>

That there <I><B>are</B></I> so many possible (and believable? by a reasonable person?) ways for Susan to have not cheated on Early, I hark to the immortal words of Linda Lovelace, in a movie she made with John Holmes: "That's hard to swallow!"<BR>

Note she says 'hard', but not impossible. Same <I><B>could</B></I> be for Susan too, but as it stands, we'll never know. Troubador knows, but it seems he ain't telling us.

I didn't think Early was ever going to get to the top of the stairs. I don't think this story showed much. Sorry.

These are smart sucessful people who understand how things work. There had to have been some sexual foreplay in the office before their two days.Kissing and the rest. She just didn't just show up with a overnight bag and say supprise. She also fucked up her partnership along with her marriage. When the facts came out at her office and they will, she will not enjoy the results. Some punishment for John would be nice also. Liked you ending much better than the rest.A final chapter would be great, Thanks!

while this is not your best story its the ending I agree with the most she was as cold blooded in her "plannig" of this as only a very well disciplined & organized person can. no amount of pleading can change the fact that she's only sorry that she didn't get away with it.

Well written and realistic.

Make me wonder what the wife has to do to the husband for you to be on his side. I'm guessing the wife could castrate the husband and if the husband so much as called her a bitch, you would still side with her. This wasn't a stupid and naive wife, she was a damn lawyer for crying out loud, and a damn good one from what i read in the story.Anyways, longhorn this is another great one. I would like to know what happened to early, the hell with susan. thanks for another great read.

As Always, well written with all the emotions and passion I've come to expect fron your stories. While reading the comments I found that Peggytwitty had already portrayed my thoughts and more eloquently than I could have. I too believe that Eary's hurt and pain are too raw at this point in time and with the comsumption of the liquor was able to voice all the concerns that had been tormenting him for the last three days. The good part is that in his state of mind he couldn't hold back his tounge to keep from lashing out at Susan to hurt her as she did him. It even crossed his mind that he probably would say something that he might regret in the morning but in his state he couldn't stop himself. However, it did get everything out in the open so Susan could see a clearer picture of what she did and shatter some of her allusions. Unfortunately, he just got on a roll and took it to the obvious conclusion for his current condition. The ultimate dagger in her heart, no way to repair this, were through. Really make her suffer. So, this does give them a good starting point for future discussions after the wounds heal a little and if Early can remember what he said. So just saying "The End" doesn't always make it so. Especially, taking into account the history of the characters. They obviously love each other, deeply. I'm not saying they'll stay together but there would be further discussion. Nice read, very enjoyable. Thank you

Your ending of this classic story far exceeds any of the others. You are an extremely talented author. I have read almost all of your submissions to this site and look forward to reading more in the years to come. Keep up the good work. And, Hey, Thank you. THANK YOU VERY MUCH ! ! !

This is one of my two favorite endings. Very good. Write some new stuff soon. Thanks

I really did. Early grew a set of balls in your version, and he didn't need secret Navy SEAL training either. I've said it before and I will say it again. This one needs an Epilogue or a Second chapter PLEASE? Pretty please with sugar on top?!?!?!? I want to see where they go after this....separately is my guess but still I want to see.

Does Susan keep her job? Does she shack up with Stickner? Does she get the partnership? Does Early do her in at the office? What about Jennifer? Does Early leave town after the divorce? So MANY questions, and I cant write so someone else needs to answer them. You wrote this better than most, its my hands down favorite ending for this story. Can't you see your way through to "finishing" it as it were?

Thanks

Martyr

Petitor@gmail.com

you hit the elements, the 2 days, the planning, the skewed rationale for the action, and the like.

the premeditation and the believing that she would be able to act with impunity killed so much for him.

This is the best ending out of all the alt-endings submitted. Again Longhorn does the work to justify the endings of his stories or in this case another author's story.

critics gave this story a good score. Non-conciliation was the key reason. Had this couple stayed together, the negative critics would have given it a bad score. Seen it happen over and over on these stories. They judge a story based on their personal bias, not the quality of the authors works. Sad.

Amazing how the so-called negative critics ranked it just what they thought of it; ranking it as a story on the whole, not just one part. Amazing how the "negative" critics voiced their praise of a story that didn't involve a nutless fuck of a hubby caving into his "loving wife" who obviously can't constrain her animal instincts. Amazing how the story held true to a line that was moral, fair, and BELIEVABLE. I suspect I'd qualify as one of the "negative" critics, and here's the newsflash; I, like others, am not into submissive/cuckold/nutless fuck stories, and if a certain commenter regrets that the story didn't end with the hubby sucking the dick of whoever the wife was fucking around with, too fucking bad. Grow a pair and learn from the author who did a damned fine job on this story.

That's pretty much how I would have reacted were I in Early's shoes. The marriage was over the moment the whore decided to cheat. No R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No future.

Now -This is the way this story would have ended in real life!--Susan must be the DUMBEST woman in the world-

Great Ending to a tragic story!!

no! it is not a complet story ...... to much left yo say!

Now this is writing!!!!!

Read this story ages ago but it must have stuck with me subconciously because it clearly inspired my first story in three ways. One, you took a risk by picking up someone else's story and running with it, even though you had doubts about doing so. Second, you tried to remain true to the original story while offering a different "spin" or lesson to be drawn from it. Three, you forced me to try to find a different way to do a confrontation / "let's break down what happened" scene because any "husband's lecture to wife" would be redundant of this story. Yup, this was a huge influence. Glad I found it again. But damn it, these stories from the Golden Age (2005-2007) leave us newbies with so little territory that has not already been well covered...

I couldn't see it ending any other way. Thanks for your story.

Susan deserved everything he said to her & more. Early was right about the premeditation and lack of respect. I also loved the symbolism with the stair case. Great Job!

was not "lack of respect" etc, though that was a condition. If she deceived herself about her reasons (and she seems to have done), then she dissed herself too. No, it was the planning and premeditation as stated, but above all the LYING to him for the days he sat there, that indicate unequivocally that she KNEW that what she was doing was unacceptable and destructive of her marriage, and had to be hidden from him. If she truly believed it was a no-fault fuck, as she tried to present it, repayment of a debt, a favor for a favor, no deception would have been necessary. That's the ineluctable truth she has to face through all her sobbing. The rest is merely a hurt man crying in anguish and anger.

.

I believe that you did a excellent job of continuing the story. The tone and the character really seemed the same as The Troubador's story line.

I especially liked how you fit what I believe to be Early’s strengths as a character into the story. Early was a trouble shooter and that to me means when he is presented with a problem; he researches the details and collects the data. For a successful trouble shooter the next step is to analyze the data and compare it to the situation on the ground. Using his analytical skills he has to come to a decision and I feel you clearly got his character right. He analyzes the data about his wife’s infidelity. How she had to have planned her infidelity for a period of time, involved others unknowingly in her deceit, and had a temporary employee lie for her. Based on this data, Early analyzes what his wife has done and we see his analysis and thought process as he ascends the stair case.

The essence of Early’s character can be revealed as his slowly moves up the stair case and his demeanor changes as he gains his self respect back and he takes another step higher. As he takes another step up the stairs and exposes his wife treachery and his conclusion of the situation comes at the top of the stairs. His life will no longer be involved with a conniving, cheating, lying mate. You can feel his self confidence return as he concludes that his life will be better without his cheating mate.

Early strikes me as the type of person that relies on trust in his professional life. Trusting those that he works with is what has made him a successful negotiator and trouble shooter, and he could not live a personal life without those same qualities. I believe you have captured that essence of Early.

Early is a type of person that I would like to work with and to be friends with.

It's been at least 3 years now with nothing new from your end of the world. I enjoy your stories. Have you just run out of story ideas? Hard to believe after "Too High a Price".

It is good.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

It showed the thought process that Early went through, and why he was so hurt. The key was the premeditation of the event. Climbing the stairs was a good metaphor for distancing himself. Thank You.

I am working to read all the existing alternatives - this one took a very different road and I really enjoyed most of it. The writing is excellent and holding true to the fundamental characters is done well too - nice work.

My only issue with the content is that Early is using just his perception - his interpretation of the situation with no facts beyond the simple ones. That is certainly enough for many of life's decisions but one this big, after that many years deserves a bit more deliberate thought and self awareness than I think he had after a day of drinking.

Not that the end should have been any different - once he had landed on the premeditated act concept - it does change the picture pretty dramatically. But some effort to be sure his new version of the story is actually more accurate than her representation of it.

For instance -

Was the temp arranged ahead of time or at the last minute (either can happen in the real world)

Was the time of for Jennifer at the last second or planned.

Did the temp follow instructions or just make it up as she went.

The conclusion of the effort for the negotiations DID happen all of sudden even in the original so - the spontaneous nature of the follow up is not out of the realm of reality.

Counseling could help get to motives and confirm them or find others.

A long functional marriage is not something to simply walk away from - a dysfunctional one only needs a minor excuse -

Just my 2 cents

Early did not go about looking for a way to justify or rationalize becoming a cuck - she arranged to get some strange cock and got caught.

In a functional marriage, a spouse does not go to extreme lengths of lying, cheating and deception to break wedding vows - Early understood this and gave the marriage Susan killed a proper burial.

In a dysfunctional marriage, a steaming pile of psychobabble is heaped on the lies and deceit and betrayal so Early can 'get in touch with his inner cuck' and start enjoying the Stickner creampies.

This advice is on the house

LH, you did a great job. You didn't alter the personality of the two protagonists, which is admirable. You maintained The Troubador's initial depiction of the two characters and their behavior.

The depiction of the wife is inconsistent in both stories. Well, how can one believe that she is a truly successful and ambitious lawyer (aiming for partnership in her practice) on one hand and a yet accept her as a totally speechless person when questioned by her husband, unable to utter a single intelligent word? Not very lawyer like! There is a clear contradiction between the scheming person who mounted this elaborate plan on one hand and the silly, almost dumb, person making lame excuses. Still, the wife character seems secondary in both the original story and this ending.

It was all about Early. The Troubadour depicted him as a characterless, sullen, and spineless man. He sits an sulks in the darkness of his house for two days, doing nothing to reclaim his wife. Yuck! You restored some dignity to the character. Unfortunately it was totally alcohol induced. He had to get drunk to be able to engage in that lengthy monologue on the stairs and eventually spell out how he will deal with his marriage. Courage in a bottle!

So, a message to all the wimps out there, go get drunk, sloshed, totally intoxicated. That will help you out of your misery and restore your male dignity. It may even help you think straight :)

Having read the original before I starting putting in my two cents I see That LH gave Early the balls to do what he had to do. She was snagged and Early let her have it in spades.

I HATE CHEATING WIVES

$0.02

this is how you handle a cheating wife, think about it, gather your witts and kick her to the curb. 15 stars

I find you have saved Early's honor.

You have taken a well-written piece and given it the conclusion the character deserved.

I agree with HarryinVA 100% on this one... '60yr old George' is a fruitbat if he thinks Early should have been all sweet and tender to the woman who had just spent a few days grinding Early's respect for her into dust.

Just because he is usually mild and easy going means little if those attributes came partially from believing he knew where his place was in the world. He thought that Susan had his back, just to find out he was severely mistaken.

Does the discovery that his whole belief system has been shot down like a duck on the first day of hunting season not justify a few harsh words? Give me a break. I mean, my god, she deserved much worse!

The way the story was written WAS logical, to a greater proportion of the readers, George.

While the original work was good, it did not sit well with me that he could be so lenient and understanding to a fault.

Longhorn, your treatment of the story stayed true to the feeling of the original, but morphed it into something that I would see as a more likely scenario.

I mean, this character is a strong, intelligent, proactive person. Just because he is civil in his dealings with others, does not mean he has to accept her deliberate deception and betrayal.

The best conclusion to the original, bar none. This work is one of those rare sequels that surpasses the original.

I notice DWMoronic hasn't yet commented. At least, not YET.

5 stars.

cucksters comment primarily on the outcome. Although several of Longhorn's other stories are written better, wannabe cucks like cuckdogg complain and give them 3 stars if the couple reconcile instead of 5. No wonder he no longer submits.

gobbling the stiff wiener, he readied his cornhole, betrayed!

and then go full throttle in getting away. TK U MLJ LV NV

Love all your stories and your style of writing. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Just play true to nature for the author to use this as a parting shot.

Two great stories that deserve a part 3

to finish another authors work. If for no other reason you can not understand nor anticipate the original author's intent. Not that you're ending is "wrong". It's just not the original authors ending. I do wish HE would finish his story. "Sigh"

where is it, realy??

bill

Re-read this fine tale. Because he realized that he could not forgive her cheating and her explanation he ended the marriage. Since she didn't want a divorce the retribution is she loses her loving faithful husband. Fucking cunt.

Don't cheat.

after rereading this for the 2nd time I suddenly realize how cold blooded Susan really is. I knew she was a self serving air head, but didn't snap to how calculating she is. thank you

Take away all the emotional pain from the blow delivered to the cheated's ego and what is left? A relationship between a man and a woman in which one person has broken the deal they made. The deal was that they would be sexually exclusive to each other for the rest of their lives. That is the part of the deal that makes marriage special. Special because along with the possibility of pregnancy and the importance of passing your genes into the next generation there is also the emotional intimacy that comes from taking off your clothes and joining with your spouse in making love. There is no room for another person in that act. There are those that USE sex and the pleasure that it brings as a drug. They forego much of the intimacy of making love for the ego boosting act of fucking a new person that finds them attractive. There are those that do it for money, of job advancement, or just to be cool and fuck the boss. The trouble is, that when you are married and you cheat, you have shown that you are the kind of person that USE's sex for ego and money. You are not the kind of person who has sex and makes love to build and strengthen a marriage relationship. This kind of person is a bad bet as a life partner. They didn't have kids, thank God. A person like this is not fit to be a parent. To be a parent you have to be willing to die for your children. If you can't avoid cheating on your husband, you certainly would not give a shit about your children. No, get away and stay away from cheaters. No matter how much love you have invested in them, they are unfit for family life. They are in fact, "BAD" people. If they applied for a job with you and you knew that they had a history of betraying their former employers, you wouldn't even interview them. Use common sense, your life is too important to waste in a bad relationship.

I enjoyed the story. The story takes Early from the height of his hurt (drinking in a bar) to making up his mind that Susan was not worth keeping (I think this is symbolically shown as Early climbs the stairs). At the bar and at the bottom of the stairs he is a lost soul, but by the time he works his way to the top of the stairs he has come to terms with her deceit and has made a decision that his life will go on without Susan. I love the way the author build Early’s self-respect and going up the stairs in a picture to watch.

Difficult to believe this was her first time cheating. The ease with which she lied, the knowledgeable planning, no, this was far from this bronco's first rodeo. Add to that the fact she refused to see what she did as anything less than beautiful. No, she was proud of herself for getting away with it for so long. Why are the first words cheaters utter when caught usually end up being "I love you", or "it meant nothing"? She kept telling Early that she loved him. If she loved him, even in a small way, she wouldn't have so callously cheated on him. It may have been a small thing to her to cheat, but it's everything to Early.

Good writers entertain you. Great writers make you think. I don't think I've enjoyed a short story as much as this in quite a while. Too many writers focus on revenge on the outside party. The John Stickners of these stories are secondary to the plot. They are just a device, so why spend time writing elaborate revenge schemes. The cheating spouse is the one that does the emotional damage by choosing betrayal over love.

I love how Early put everything together with each step he took on the stairs, discovering a new point on each step, directly mirroring each step Susan took in her planned cheating. Each step elevated Early, just as each of Susan's steps debased her.

if two have somthing good why is a 3rd involved

Perfect ending that felt true to the original character's.

Wonderful, but heartbreaking for both characters. Thank you.

I didn't like it but it was well written and emotional. Susan is a bitch, perhaps simple-minded and conniving at the very least. I think Early would've demanded Susan's resignation from thr job staying with her or not. In addition to suing her employer for violating their morals clause and John Stichner for alienation of affection. In other words give the lawyers a few lawsuits to torture them. I felt the need to bring this story in that direction would be very thoughtful and devious. However, a man devastated and in love would not be logical but pathetic and morose. Longhorn drove in that direction and nailed it.

There is one version which is 10 pages long, which I've given a miss to so far.

There are two others which didn't even rate a 4. Why waste my time?

This, more than any other matches the TONE of the original. No doubt Troubadour is upset that her infidelity is again flagrant, but that is his own fault.

Here, Early DID drink...but he didn't spend WEEKS as a drunken sot, cursing and pissing on people. He was maudlin and reflective about what her actions meant, how they affected him, and how he was going to react to her actions.

He wasn't an indecisive asshole.

While I enjoyed the directness and clarity of E.Z. Riter's prose, the shift in Early's demeanor into action star didn't match what T originally wrote. Perhaps he was channeling JPB, what with the account closures, PIs, and unrealistically available lawyers for instant paper gratification. T's Early was much slower in his consideration.

Josephus made a copy of a copy. While much more in touch with his emotions than EZ wrote, it still didn't have quite the same feel. The anger was different. Unfortunately, T's Early was something of a wimp, looking whistfully at his wife's car for hours, without the energy or spermatozoa to have a confrontation until she was fully fertilized.

So well done Longhorn.

Brilliant! This ending is as good as anything I've ever read on Literotica. Thank you.

i did not like this ending. i am not sure it is what was intended. but i think it stayed truest to the voice of the characters. i gave it a 5 because of that.