All Comments on 'Catching Freya'

Not bad, don't really understand why the wronged party would feel any desire to help the ex though...

This story was ok, but I don’t understand how she was damaged so badly financially. If her lover was in a superior position in the corporation, she probably had legal recourse against him and/ or the company she worked for. If she was somehow fired, wrongful termination would seem possible. I realize laws are different outside the U.S., though even then her lover has much to lose with his attitude after a year long affair. I get that emotionally she is a mess, but this was a driven, focused woman when the affair started. I think She needs a follow up story. There are too many places where more detail in the unfolding tale would have helped, since only three characters are really involved.

I did work to live but tried to do no more than necessary!

5

Average. D

Decent sort of story, although nothing original or dramatic. Lot of gaps in story. For example, author does not mention Freya considering the abortion option when she discovered that she was pregnant with a married man's child. I also do not understand why she would have become financially stressed, and certainly do not believe that Charlie would have gotten a patent or become rich by installing systems using off-the-shelf components.

Should have turned to Kyle in front of his family at the airport and said, “You’re married? But what about our baby?” That would have really stuck it to that predator.

While well worn, the storyline was decent but lacked depth at times. To truly pull us in, this story needed more dialogue around their marital dynamics, how they interacted as it became clear she was cheating beyond cliché phrases. 3.8*

Where would this possibly happen? She would get half easily. I don't understand. She does not get some gift, anything he produced or could produce of value would be marital asset and split at least evenly. Not believable in the least.

Kyle's wife needed a copy of the video.

So how did Kyle escape? They worked for the same company. He was obviously highly enough placed to do international travel. At the least his career would have suffered. Plus there is the issue of Kyle's wife being made aware. The story felt dry. I still gave it 4 stars but one was gift for not giving in to Freya.

Nice presentation and getting to the quickly. Kyle’s wife should have gotten a copy of the video and a DNA report to compare with Kyle. If she’d gone to NY and sued, she might get a child support ruling, but she’d probably have to remain in the NY area and permit visitation. Far from her family, she’d have no support network.

Ok story. I empathised with Charlie and he handled it fairly well. But, I can understand why he didn't want to burn Freya - she had managed that all by herself and he didn't feel any need to add to it. Paints him as a decent human being and probably makes it easier for him to live with himself and move on. A nice touch from you.

Thank you

Why on earth give her more than she was due and then some of the proceeds of his business - not only did she deserve nothing but also it may have got her to go after Kyle, who was just as guilty of wrecking his marriage. Cheaters should never be rewarded!

He was much kinder to the cheating SLUT than i would have been.

He knows she’s a cheat, he has video proof she’s a cheat, so how does he show his anger and disapproval when she gets back? Why he continues to make love to her. That fucking showed her he wasn’t going to put up with her behaviour, yeah the message came through crystal clear. What a wuss.

Let her rot. Not his child, not his problem. C'est la vie!

thank GOD he didn't end up with hoe, you can never tell with some of these writers

@Tx77Tumbleweed

"If her lover was in a superior position in the corporation, she probably had legal recourse against him and/ or the company she worked for. If she was somehow fired, wrongful termination would seem possible. I realize laws are different outside the U.S., though even then her lover has much to lose with his attitude after a year long affair."

Outside the US having sex with a team member isn't necessarily something you can get money for from the person or the company. The company would have policies against sexual harassment, but not fraternization (because the rest of the world allows you to date collegues). So if she could show he forced her, then he'd be investigted and sacked. She'd be safe from any reprisal, but she doesn't get a bucket of money - that's just prostitution with extra steps.

As a short story, didn't result! Too short opened a lot of holes not clearly explained and pointed by the other comments! So, not a good one, just a bad story!

How could anyone give this story a 5*. It's boring, it's wimpy, no retribution to the american. It was just a effing cheater/divorce story.

This wasn't even close to a BTB. This was a *get angry, then get sad and give her more than she deserved in the divorce* story.

Second part doesn’t make sense. Charlie knew she was cheating and did not respect him but a few “I love you” and he jumps back into bed with her as soon as she returned from America. He should have showed her the video of her affair as soon as they got home from the airport.

Also, it doesn’t make any sense that she would struggle financially as she was making more money than Charlie even before he was made redundant. Him giving her money from the sell of his company was not so much about her child but showing off how successful he had become.

That was poor

Missed opportunity is that both the cheaters covered their lofty jobs and derided the MCs lack of ambition. So take their jobs away from them, cause a stink about the American coming in and seducing married women, give the company a black eye, make them at least reprimand the prick. Due to all this his wife finds out, now that's revenge.

Charlie is a classy dude. Nice story if a bit rushed.

What silly, stupid bitch Freya was. She deserved her fate, she has to live with her ruined life forever.

4;5

I just don’t get it. How can so many people think, “Hey, I like this story I just read, so I’m gonna write the exact same thing!”

Very uneven. Too much “tell”, not enough “show”.

.

3 ***

So…what bad thing happened to Kyle? I’d have paid legal fees for her to go after Kyle for support just to fuck with him.

"We were both at her friend's birthday party" - Of course you were BOTH there, otherwise you wouldn't have met there!

~~~

"The business quickly grew and I sold it and the patent, making a fortune." - Too many LW husbands have a business and/or patent that makes them independently wealthy. As someoneother said there are so many home security systems that I doubt that an amateur set-up is going to be such a hot product.

Sold his business and rewarded her for stabbing him in the back and being a lying, cheating cunt. Yeah, makes total sense.

Talk about low ambition. Why would he help the slut with a nickel and why not get revenge on Kyle? Another pussy husband who gets run over and takes it.

Cliché ridden and a boring cut and paste

3 stars for a barely adequate BTB story.

Yes, the sexual predator needed a great deal more payback - probably a copy of the sex video sent to his wife and his company president and HR manager.

Although, I do appreciate that the MC provided some additional financial assistance to his ex-wife, even after the divorce. This kind of compassion for another human being rarely happens in the LW category.

Have a nice day.

A so-so story.

At least the husband didn't go full wimp, but why would he even consider taking her back? Why did he back off on confronting her as soon as she returned? Sure, she started saying "I love you" again, but as he figured out it was because her plan fell apart and he was the fall back option. It should have made him more determined to dump the bitch, not less.

I realize that he was put in a position by being let go, but a person who actively avoids leadership roles is generally not going to start his own business. Also along that line, I could see him making good money installing and supporting such systems, but you didn't show us anything he could actually patent. There was no new art as he was simply mixing and matching preexisting components to emulate preexisting systems.

One thing you didn't mention was alimony. Since he had already been given notice, would the courts be forced to accept his upcoming lack of income or would they use his soon to stop current salary? Either way, as she earned more than him she should have been on the hook for some amount. I don't know which would happen, but whichever you picked might have made the divorce a bit more interesting.

You missed a good opening to give Freya a bit more insight into herself. With her making more money than him, she should have been ordered to pay spousal support. She's already figured out that her drive to succeed cost her husband, but it could have been fun to see her learn it would cost her in support payments as well.

On that note, with such a high paying job that they were going to be able to live comfortably without his salary for some time, how did she become so destitute after the divorce?

Boyd Percy's comment is bang on the money: "I did work to live but tried to do no more than necessary". I couldn't have put it better myself. I too have no ambition, I have no desire to have the power to make decisions that destroy other people's lives. I do not want to be the man who has to tell another family man (or woman) that he's fired, just so I can enjoy a better standard of living. I would never accept a job that required me to travel away from home, nor would I accept my wife taking such a position. Yep, I'll never be one of the big hitters or enjoy the trappings of success. What I am in a position to enjoy is that I've been happily married for nearly 40 years to a wife who's never cheated me in any way, we have a son and two daughters and our son and his lovely wife have blessed us with two grandchildren, one girl and one boy.

So all you career driven climbers out there enjoy what you have while it lasts. I have the most precious thing it's possible to have in life and wouldn't swap it for all the world's wealth.

Too much left out to be a good story.

Barely liked it. More sad then entertaining.

Not the least bit erotic. And once again, a wronged husband is a tech wizard. thats always too convenient. Just stop.

Maybe you can explain why he's being such an idiot and giving anything to Freya in the divorce? She cheated on him for a year and even wanted to foist her lover's child on him as his and yet he supports her financially? To me he's a wimp or a mentally ill idiot!

Total cliche' story, written a thousand times with different names. She never loved Charlie. The line "I genuinely wish Freya and the baby all the best and that they find a happy ever after." - show just how big a cuck he really was..... She badly needed burning.

... Make it make sense, author: Charlie couldn't deal with sleeping in his own bed after finding out his wife cucked him in it... but FUCKING HER AFTERWARD, most definitely in the same bed, right after she came back from her trip, THAT'S OK????

Yet another nonsensical character, the prime hallmark of any self-respecting LW story. 🙄

Overall, it's still good, but, as it progressed, it was getting harder and harder to have much sympathy for the MC here - the way the author wrote him, it's quite obvious his white knight's tendency made him the perfect mark for an opportunist looking for a sucker to get resource from...

But nah - Freya always loved Charlie. The most. She didn't settle. I swear. 😒

A-NY-WAY... not bad. Thanks for sharing.

I think the things people complain about happen all the time.

I sold the patent and gave some money to my ex. WHY. What a loser. What a poor story. Need to write so it makes sense.

The wife was only sorry her adulterous romance didn't work out like she hoped and planned. All the remorse and regret (there was damn little guilt) were about her attempt to "trade up" failing miserably. And the stupid cuck helping her with the child? The child has a successful prosperous father, so why doesn't the slut force the father's support through the courts? The characters in this story are too stupid to breathe. Ridiculous.

Weak BTBs are better than no BTBs , but I do prefer the more savage ones.

The opening was dreadful.

Nothing improved afterwards.

Dreadful atmosphere; wish I could somehow encourage the author, but am unable.

No rating, no ill will.

I hope you improve one day, but I won’t be cognizant nor following other attempts.

@Schwanze1

I sincerely smiled at your comment. And they need to start by filing a lawsuit with the International Criminal Court in The Hague... Buddy, aren't you laughing yourself?

"I then took off on a world tour to clear my head where I met my second wife." You met your second wife in your head???

"When got me was her smile and the way her eyes sparkled when she did." 'When' got you? When she did what???

Let us get to know your narrator a bit. Don't make him tell us about himself, let us watch him in action so we find out what he's like. As it is, we know Freya better than we know him.

Read your story aloud to yourself before posting, so you'll catch bloomers like the ones above.

Well he was cuckoldish and a vanilla doormat but at least there were limits to his low self esteem.

It's no surprise reading these comments why most of them either have been cheated on or never had anything but their own hand. No way on earth any respectable woman would want to get anywhere near such vile people, so all they end up with is hoes and then they get angry about their own piss poor choices caused by their own shitty personalities.

Good story! 5

No revenge on the guy? At least let his wife know.

I agree with the rest, doormat ending. I.e. i am a big strong man and everyone knows it when they walk all over me! I have amazing principles that i abandon at the drop of a hat.

Garbage story.

He was a doormat to the end.

The kind Freyas keep around in case the Kyles are done with them.

People who are fooled around on generally wouldn't stick your dick in her let alone their own.

heart breaking actually so much regret by both

Very passive male MC.

Good story about a cheating wife and a good man. The ex husband still remembered the good times with his wife and still remembered his long ago love for her. So being a good and kind man he gave his ex and her child some needed money when he became rich, so what. The idiot commentators who castigate the guy for his kindness to his ex and her baby are plain and simple assholes who are most likely married to nothing but their own hand...pathetic small dick loosers.

Doormat

I always wonder. If a characters in the story do or don't do important thing like telling Kyle's wife, is it a reflection of the author that it never occur to them to do?

Too rushed. You could have taken time and explained how the repurcussions echoed through their lives. And given the liberties that prose can provide, a bit more flavor could be added in the payback part.

This lacks depth, and the lack of details and depth make it difficult to indulge one self in the story and the emotions of the characters.

With any age-old tale, there are bound to be a FEW similarities between different versions, no matter how skilled the author. But as long as each time the tale is told, there are new additions, new settings, twists, new sub-plots, new characters perhaps, they can all be appreciated, and enjoyed!

But when they are thinly disguised carbon copies with little more than a name-change, that's not cricket! Now I wouldn't go quite so far as to intimate that this is some "Barry Potter, and the Order of the Budgerigar" style of thing, but perhaps that illustration might illuminate the pitfalls of NOT stamping your OWN mould on your work!

Very Nice!! I also like some of the comments..

She cheated he divorced her and still supported the single mother finacially she really fucked up a marriage with a great man. Thankfully he had his own family and moved on with his life.

Things had gotten a little bit stale in our marriage especially the sex,we hadn't had sex with each other for months,I thought my wife Emily was acting a little strange of late and was going straight into the shower when she got home from work twice a week, I found sexy underwear that I hadn't seen on her in the washing basket and became really suspicious,I decided to go over to her salon on the days she said she worked late, I saw her closing the salon at 5 o'clock and leaving the shutters half way down, I saw a guy walking towards the shop look over his shoulder and enter through the door! The shutters then closed all the way down, there was a rear entrance to the salon so I walked around,there were only nets covering the windows and to my horror when I looked inside my wife Emily was on her knees sucking this guys cock laughing and joking! He pulls her up off the floor and starts undressing her! My wife has nothing on except her ankle boots! She bends over the reception desk and he starts fucking her! I could tell that she was loving his cock and I could see his cock sliding in and out of her pussy, Emily started laughing and the guy stopped fucking her but looked like he was rubbing her arse! He was! I watched my wife getting fucked in her arsehole by a complete stranger! Emily turned around and they kissed each other before the guy laid on the floor, Emily positioned herself above his cock then lowered herself onto him! We were facing each other and I had the best view of her taking a cock up her hairy arsehole! I later found out that he was her window cleaner and he was only 25! Emily was 44,he somehow got hold of my phone number and months later he started sending me videos of him and Emily fucking with little comments saying how she loved his cock in her arsehole

well written, good main character for such a short story.

Sometimes, with stories like this, I'd like the cheating wife to hit rock bottom, filled with genuine remorse to the point of giving up on her life... only to be saved. in this case, it would have to be by the ex-husband.

Other than the fact that after seeing her in living color no husband would touch her with a kevlar condom it

moved along smoothly.

With all her plotting and scorn her planning and execution showed not to mention contempt, his treatment of her also was very generous in the end. .

She cheated he divorced her and still supported the single mother finacially she really fucked up a marriage with a great man. Thankfully he had his own family and moved on with his life.

So sad you think that she was burned, self inflicted consequences are not being burned, being burned means feeling the pain, insult and humiliation or its equivalent from the aggrieved spouse, a simple divorce is not being burned it is just as if not more painful to the wronged party, to truly burn the bitch, is to dish back the disrespect and pain and then some, why and then some, to ingrain the consequences in their memory forever.

The worst bad guy in.this story was the predator yet there is no retribution even his wife wasnt told!

AAA++

Why is this a story for people who dont like cheaters?

This story is a prime example of a serious violation of the writer’s maxim “Show, don’t tell”. It reads like a newspaper account summarizing the dissolution of a marriage. There is very little experienced emotion - mostly we are TOLD about what happened and how the individuals felt, but not really SHOWN. Unfortunate, because this story has a lot of potential.

You can spot the little crybabies that either haven't yet grown up because they're too young or just never grew up because they're defective.

The MC in this story moved on, didn't let his ex live rent free in his mind and still recognised that the world is full of misfortunes that can easily be tempered.

That he was emotionally mature enough to recognise this and move on in his life doesn't make him weak or a doormat, the exact opposite in fact.

Those claiming he's a doormat are the weak ones, because they're just following a script and lack the strength and maturity to think for themselves.

the man she cheated with got away scot free , sorry poor ending

Not sure why she needed a “happy ending” in a second part, especially considering not only did she cheat on the man she literally tried to make him raise another man’s child totally unaware of that fact. Not to mention in this part the story is already more sympathetic toward her than it is the man who was cheated on. Authors can obviously write whatever they want, just seems really weird to be more sympathetic to the cheater in the first chapter and then write another chapter where the cheater gets a full on well developed “happy ending”, meanwhile the guy who was the actual victim was given a few sentences at best and was given the literary equivalent of riding off into the sunset….

I love happy endings, don't you?

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐