All Comments on 'A Hero's Rebirth Ch. 03'

Nicely done.

Still a lot of fun.

Beware homonyms! It is "bated" breath (like "abated"), not "baited" breath.

Love it!

I continue to thoroughly enjoy your story. So many possible twists and turns which are only limited by your imagination. Keep up the good work!!! If I could give you more than 5 stars I would.

Came for the great smut, stayed for the better story

Great chapter! He seriously needs training. Learning magic, how to use a blade as back up, and making new fire arms, Like a pistol can do so much damage at close range. Honestly I got alot to be hyped for with this series will keep reading till completion thanks NaughtyPaladin!

Sigh... I'll look into getting and editor. I've already gotten a few offers, I just need to find one I like and hopefully they won't slow down my ability to keep pumping out chapters.

You guys deserve the best experience I can give you with these stories and I know I'm a terrible editor. I'm too ADHD and I read too fast myself. My brain does the "if the first and last letters are correct and enough of the right letters are there, I read entire words at a time". Sometimes I'll read entire phrases at a time. I try to slow down when editing, but then the words blur into stories in my head and that makes it hard to notice little things with the spelling, punctuation and grammer.... plus my teachers never even covered some things. I still don't know the proper use of a semicolon and every time I've tried to use one.... it didn't go well....

So I'll start trying to get an editor... hopefully that will help improve the quality of my submission. Thank you for your patience as I have tried to do this on my own.

Love it!!

Awesome chapter, can't wait for the next one! How mean to end on a cliffhanger! (lol). Thanks so much for writing the story!

Good, but perhaps less evil elf povs please?

Hope he nukes the dark elf city when the 6 months are up.

Great chapter! I think this ending was needed cuz MC needs time to train in blades, magic, making more fire arms, teaching his wives and army maybe how to use fire arms? This gives him time to train and become the badass hero he truly is!

I won't lie I do kinda hate how the god of elves stopped him from continuing his slaughter after all the dark elves have done. It was super naive of a god to do that.

Also can't wait to see how he turns this slave around lol. I can see this pasting 20+ chapters and i'm here for all of it. I love harem as well so hope you gives us more focus on each girl in the future.

If there is one thing I hate is the wait for the next chapter the eternal struggle lol. Thanks for writing!

Overall, your writing is really good. An editor will definitely help cleanup the few "messy" parts. I was already a fan after the first chapter and eagerly await future installments. I'm very happy to read you plan on making this a long-running series and cinched by seat belt tight for what is sure to be a wild ride. 5/5*

Keep it going! A great read

Enjoying the story

So, while it may seem that our hero has bought the Wood Elves six months respite, I am skeptical. Kathra is a sneaky one, and I think that she thinks she has found a way around the truce by getting the dragon to do her dirty work. We shall see ... somehow I think there is dead dragon on the menu in the near future.

I want more of this please

I can’t take the wait! More more MORE!

Well for the love of this story keeping writeing this

Yoi guys love on the chapters of this story so much that it's hard to give attention to my other stories. I promise I'll keep writing this.

And update!

I have been talking with a couple of editors. One seems like a great fit for a few of my other stories, and has started helping me edit those. I think I'm at the point with one editor that seems like a great fit for this story and the others that the first editor isn't interested in editing. I have some minor edits on a few chapters for other works I'm finishing up, and I'm mostly through the chapters for my other works that haven't seen attention in far too long, but as soon as I can I'll be busting out the next chapter here with our hero and his elven allies. I'll try to keep you all posted.

Thanks again for the encouragement and support. It keeps me writing these.

Lol, can't wait for the next chapter! Awesome story!

By far, this is THE best story I have read and I can't help waiting for the next chapter!

Well done, NaughtyPaladin!

Everyday I check to see if the next story was posted yet… sigh…

I feel like an addict

I'm sorry it's taking so long for the next chapter! I had the distraction of finding an editor, and now I'm trying to make sure I'm not neglecting my other stories because these chapters take the longest and require the most attention to write, and you guys just keep loving them so much that if I don't make myself write the other stories, I'd end up abandoning them, and o don't want that.

I'll let you all know here when I've got the other stories taken care of, when I've finished writing the next chapter, and when it's been edited and submitted. Again, my apologies that it is slow.

Alright, chapters for all my other works are either posted or with my editors. Now, I can start working on the next chapter of this work.

I'll let you all know when I'm done and the editor gets it.

For those of you using the Feedback option to contact me and including your emails, I am replying, but since the Email I use for everything relating to my work with Literotica has "NaughtyPaladin" in the email, so it seems to get sent to your junk folder. So look for responses there.

Thanks for keeping us updated! I love it when authors take the time to keep their fans informed on their progress and timeline.

Continue.. a better read than most others in this genre. Very much looking forward to chapter 4.

Wheres chapter 4?

Chapter 4 is being written. I'm currently 40 pages in on Google Docs. The other chapters were 71 to 101 pages on Google Docs, though this chapter might be lengthy. I have a lot of subject matter that needs covered.

Also, importantly, I've worked through chapters for my other 5 stories as well. I promise I'm not letting this story end here. I'm working on it and I'll ask my editor to make it too priority once I finish.

I'm really enjoying the series so far. There is one question that keeps coming up that I hope to have answered in the next chapter. Which is, why hasn't he started to train the elves in using firearms themselves? It seems like a massive oversight on everyone's part to not make more of his weapons and start training elves in their use.

Love this story looking forward to reading the rest

This is my 3rd follow up for chapter 4, I notice that you continue to publish other stories, I'm disappointed to say the least. Not sure if I'll be back

You can't rush art, it'll be ready when its ready. Its the authors choice to decide their pace, I hope they don't give up! A little patience goes a long way!

I'm working on it. It is coming, but these are long and intricate and building a world like this takes planning and careful work. Plus the length of these chapters just takes time to put on the page. I promise I'm not letting this drop.

I think there was a site that helped you build fantasy worlds and track changes. Maybe that will be helpful for you?

Since Kathra’s daughter is now his slave will he ask her to give him all the information on the dark elves? She can’t refuse any of his requests since she has the sigil.

The next chapter has been sent to my editor.

The next chapter is submitted. It's in the moderators' hands now.

Thank you for the update! Looking forward to reading it!

poor editing, lots of misspelling and such

Just more of the honorable noble good-hearted people having their virtue and compassion used against them. It's one of evil's favorite ploys. The whole Forced Truce religious doctrine begs the question, why didn't the good elves use it when the dark queen suddenly attacked and decimated them? You use evil to its optimum and goodness to its minimum to further your plot, but its illogical and demeaning to your characters. In most oppressed societies the oppressed seek and welcome freedom. Here you have the bad elves seething with hatred toward the elves that only wish them good; doesn't make sense. But their your monkeys . . . etc.

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Kind of fun, but also ridiculous, like a Harry Potter wand battle. Did you ever wonder why a magic wand bolt was a burst of light and energy, but traveled at the speed of a baseball? I mean, in Potterville you can duck a bolt of light? You have similar contradictions and inconsistencies. You seem to frequently mention the painful recoil form the elves sniper rifle, forgetting that in this world you created aches and pains can be removed with a quick incantation. And they have the power to teleport? If the elf alchemist can make a rifle cartridge propellant, they can make high explosives. So why doesn't Mr. Magic Dick have them make a huge bomb and teleport it up the evil queen's ass, or at least next to it? When you put charm and romance before logic and reason you get a fantasy cartoon. It fun in a fairy tale sort of way, and equally captivating.

Interesting questions, Mr./Mrs. Anonymous.

I'm going to assume you gave these a base level of thought after reading the story, though on your bomb idea, that's questionable.

You see, our MC is a Sniper. Familiar with ballistics, the physics involved and things related to his craft. He was not in demolition. He isn't a chemist. So no, he can't just say "This is how high explosive ordnance worked on my world" like he could with his rifle. My research has show that the differences between gunpowder and high grade explosive are significant. So, not as cut and dried as you are trying to make it. And why would the elves make low grade explosives, when they have much more effective magic, though it too has limitations.

Secondly, as to your suggestion they should "teleport it up the evil queen's ass"... Were you paying attention at all in the section about how teleportation could be hijacked and redirected? And how the El'Muth'Ran and Ealphamir were both being actively watched to prevent any such attempts? If they somehow made a massive bomb and attempted to teleport it into El'Muth'Ran, at best it would be harmlessly sent elsewhere, at worst it would be sent back to Ealphamir or one of the other Elven cities, killing lots of elves sure, but not shadow elves.

As to the idea of why didn't the other Elves invoke Respite against the Shadow Elves during the Massacre... they tried. And I'll give you credit on this, I'm not sure how well it's been explained yet, but they did try. The difference is simple and profound. During the Masacre, Ya'av had broken her people apart from the other elven people and out from the control of X'Thallion, and therefore not subject to his rites, laws and ordinance. They spat on the Respite and continued to slaughter their distant kin. "Then how was Ya'av able to invoke it against the Wood Elves?" An excellent follow up question. Ya'av may have viewed her children as a separate and independent people in the past, enabling them to ignore the Respite in the past, but in this instance she willfully exploited the fact that X'Thallion had not done the same l. X'Thallion considers the Night/Shadow Elves his children, and therefore when Ya'av willingly submitted her children to his laws in this instance, they were bound to obey just as the Wood elves were.

I do talk about the complexity of divine law and how the 'God of Earth' hasn't explained divine law to his children in depth instead giving us a subset of laws to abide, to prevent this kind of thing, but with multiple gods warring with each other, the gods themselves are trying to exploit loopholes in the laws.

So while I hope you appreciate the thought exercise, I assure you both of these supposed "plot holes" are in fact, not plot holes and have been thought through and are functioning as intended by the author (me).

Thank you.

Having taken a few minutes to shave, the elves were all waiting on me.

The elves shaved?

About the shaving, no, the elves naturally lack body and facial hair. The statement was that the Elves were waiting on the MC because HE took a few minutes to shave.

Very good story. Where you said they couldn't understand why he would attack, I think they would assume it was an attack of revenge for attacking him at home. Shadow elves may not understand compassion or justice, but they should understand revenge.

Something that's been annoying me is your repeated references to his rifle as a "sniper." A "sniper" is a person. It is objectively incorrect to call a rifle a "sniper" even if that might be common video game jargon. Doing so spoils the willful suspension of disbelief. You can call it a sniper rifle, an anti-material rifle, or even his BFG, but the MC is the sniper, not the weapon.

I also find his policy of not shooting fleeing soldiers as being very unbelievable. At no time in history (including today) have retreating soldier been considered to not be a valid target. Broadly speaking, the vast majority of combat casualties are caused after one side starts running. People who are running haven't surrendered. They are still combatants, and usually armed combatants. Similarly wounded soldiers are valid targets. They are still dangerous. If a soldier surrenders, that's different, but only if they don't try to escape. Soldiers and cops have very different jobs and consequently follow very different rules.

@kvalentine, I'm sorry that those aspects of my story have bothered you. When I go through and do my edits on these chapters, I will try and fix the issue of referring to his rifle as a sniper... Wasn't aware I was doing that. You are correct, he's the sniper, not the rifle, though I might be just dropping the "rifle" part since context should imply that.

I am aware that some people think the morals I have had my character adopt are not combat veteran accurate. If they bother you, I'm sorry that the do, but I don't regret writing him that way. I think, though clearly I haven't portrayed it very accurately, that our MC feels like his knowledge and firearms do give him an unfair advantage. I'll try to explain it better in future chapters, but I think he is very apprehensive about the way his actions will affect the world. Kind of feels like Cortés, the conquistador, and like he will be looked on as a genocidal maniac. I mean the Conquistadors had black powder rifles and kind of looked at as monsters for using them in their conquering of the natives. Imagine how bad it would look with machine guns and sniper rifles. So, I think he's holding himself to a higher standard. Also, probably holding himself to a higher standard because... HE MET A FREAKING GOD, and all of God's wives and divine children. Kinda might have some worries there. The Angel told him his God won't judge him for his actions here, but then told him the local gods very well might. He kinda likes it here and wants to stick around, so he's trying not to fuck up his second chance. And when he's absolutely dominating, it feels bad shooting enemies in the back when the best they had was a spear, and you have a freaking sniper rifle.

If you want to give him a certain outlook, that's your prerogative and there's nothing wrong with that. The thing is that I think you need to explain it better than you have so far, because his outlook is very unusual for soldier. From a combatant's prospective, a fight should be as unfair (in your advantage) as you can make it. By pulling his punches, he is not just risking himself but the lives of the wood elves he's supposed to be helping. He needs a damn good reason.

The whole not offending the local deities is a fair way of painting this, especially with what you reveal in the next couple chapters about their attitudes towards the shadow elves. Amura will be another one. But I think this is something he needs to work his thoughts through for the reader to 'see' in advance--otherwise his restraint comes across as foolishness or naivety rather than carefully considered moral scruples.

I'll work on it.