All Comments on 'No Tent Could Hold This Circus!'

Absolute jumble of words, very little story construction

Great potential, proof read, get someone else to proofread and mark up mistakes. Great ideas for a story, just needs work on execution.

A little refinement & epilogue is needed

This could be a great story.

Still, quite nice

Solid if over the top. I would suggest an editor

This started decently, but fell apart as it became difficult to follow the poorly edited segment from the time of the wife’s arrival home and the end of the story. Without the grammatical distractions, this would have been a 4 but fell instead to a 3.

5 Big Blazing stars, for an interesting and yet different story. My only issues was occassional words that made now sense and we never got to hear from the wife. How and why she cheated, only that she had. Otherwise Great Imagination, Great Story. and Great Effort. Thanks, Buster2U

You need an editor. Many missing words and endless misplaced punctuation in sentences detracts from the level of readability Could have been a 4. But nearly makes a 2 star. The Loving Wives section has to be the most demanding section for writers in LW. You really need badly armour in this section. Keep trying

The mistakes were so bad, especially the longer it went, that I think they were on purpose. I cannot respect that and I have no idea what the story was about because of what you submitted. So, it’s a rare 1* for this story, be proud because it received everything it deserved.

Everything seemed tied together and then went off the rails in the middle of the second page. I went back and tried to see if I could unjumble it and it was so difficult. The epilogue got a little crazy there for a bit.

Needs a re-write... badly.

only issue I had, other than the formatting that was messed up, was the cheating wife was almost a footnote...

The premise was good, but the writing errors made this one unreadable.

I gave up shortly onto the 2nd page. The weird and crazy errors and jumbled typos made it too aggravating to follow.

Might be a good story except the typos made it too difficult to follow. Also what happened to Becky? She went to the hospital then what? Why kill him off in the end? Royalty? Too much. Bit of a mess.

Huh?? What the fuck was that?? The Bear liked it, but it was almost impossible to follow, even compared to some of my stories and writing. Don't quit, but clean it up, Please!!

The BEAR

I gave it 4 stars for the effort, but the typos completely ruined any flow. Sometimes I tried to figure out what the sentence was saying but I gave up. The level of typos makes me think you never did a simple proofread on your own. Story wise, there’s no follow up on the slut and no confrontation conversation. Some of the dialogue and narrations leave gaps that are left open. Keep writing, but please get a proofreader and a few trusted beta readers who will be honest with their feedback.

Pity about the typos.

Great fun but REALly disjointed and chaotic. There are so very many plot holes and deux ex machina that cr stage entrants to bridge the plot holes that the whole mess moves into low comedy.

4 stars

Dear gods you need an editor!

It's like you used speech-to-text and then slapped around your PC for it not understanding your enunciation.

Plot was okay. I'll round it up to a four for what I could understand.

Hard read with so much misspelling . 3*

Thanx!

Loklie

Uhh.... disjointed with typos everywhere but otherwise I'd say it's a 3.8/5

Yikes! You'll really need to resubmit this. It looks like there are some major formatting problems.

i liked the ending. Im thinking you may have a gift with spirits as I do. your right everyone goes to thier own funeral. theres life after death and there is hell. so treat people well and ask fo forgiveness in the end. 4 stars

Not sure if this is meant as BTB or over-the-top BTB satire. In either case, it appears that a cat walked unnoticed across your keyboard. Please, please proofread before submitting. Parts of this story made absolutely no sense.

The only tip I can think to give you is stop trying to write when you’re high, I know it’s frowned on to criticise spelling, punctuation and grammar but there was just so much of it.

If you leave it up to the reader to fill in the blanks it’s turns into their story not yours.

Too many weird unfulfilled abbreviations scattered throughout this rather loose story.

The story concept had promise. Even though it was well buried in the chaos of this story. The grammar, misspelling, and missing words. Hurt the story badly.

Too many chopped up sentences, misspelled words and other errors. Too unreadable. I don't think an editor could have fixed this. The story, what I could make out, had some merit.

You need to re-edit this work badly.

Wolf007, the plot of your story was OK. I had trouble about half was through with the increasing frequency of errors; that is, words running into each other, words that were signified by initials only. I mean brother in another lifetime I translated ancient Maya glyphs, but this tale had steam coming out of my ears, not to mention a few choice expletives. As the creator of a tale you should have a degree of pride in what you produce. Either proofread your material before submitting it or have someone else check it over to catch the obvious mistakes

Yeah, I kind of have to agree with some of the other comments. The story plot was pretty good but it kind of read like you never even reread it once to see if YOU could find any errors. Got a little confusing in spots, but it was still a pretty good story.

The story itself was good. However, about half way through there were so many errors it became almost unreadable.

As to the story, we heard nothing from the wife about why she did it. What happened to her? I can only give 3 stars because of the above

Interesting premise but structurally needs a lot of work and was quite difficult to read as the story felt like it was jumping from place to place, gaps and plot holes abound. Always proof read your work.

I struggled with the writing. I guess the theme was good. Maybe you can read it again and post the revised version.

Obviously the writing is extremely poor. However, I really enjoyed the story once I interpreted the content. Thank you. Keep writing but get an editor.

How about getting an editor to turn ur rambling’s into something coherent Pse?

the spelling and syntax are horrible. You need spellcheck in the worst way. An editor as well.

concept was ok but it was almost unreadable due to simple errors

The story was good, but the editing needs some serious work. Glad I read "middle of the night musing" fluently.

It is a mess! If you can take the time to put your thoughts and ideas out there, take a few minutes more and at least read over the hodge-podge you left behind so that PERHAPS someone else could get some enjoyment from reading it rather than just frustration at attempting to decipher a virtually unreadable and confusng script.

Had potential and was somewhat enjoyable, but all the grammar errors dropped its quality

The headache from reading this will eventually go away but unfortunately this story will last for a long time. There are so many things wrong with this. Please...get an editor and read the thing before you publish it.

I really tried to like it but what a mess.

You badly need an editor. I think it was an OK story, but I really couldn't be sure.

Too confusing for my mind to follow, not helped by the incomplete sentences and sudden switches of focus. Seems like an awful lot of work went into it, but the plot's focus on a cheating wife got lost early. But perhaps that's just my aging brain....

But keep writing.

MLJ

Very difficult story to follow - made little sense

I am so pleased I took multiple languages as an extra at school. The author of this story (absolutely brilliant story) managed to write in many of them! I guess the spell check was on holiday.

I loved the four levels!

Enjoyed the plot and the characters. The typos were overwhelming. It appears that the text was corrupted somewhere in the process because these weren’t typing errors

I wonder if you used talk typing because while the story was good the typos made it look like some of my texts. Close but no cigar.

Uhg, the typos...the typos. So painful. At points it made the story unreadable. Non sentences, sentences that made no sense. It made me wonder if English was your first language. All that said, the story and effort were there. Keep writing, but find an editor...please.

Hard to make sense of, spelling , typo errors etc.

You all point out how bad the grammar is, I'll refer you to Grammarly which says differently. 100% differently as a matter of fact. So, your bad!

Honestly, I read it. And had to re-read certain parts. But I could honestly see the story in there. I think you had a great idea and just need to clean up your grammar and some punctuation and possibly develop your main characters a little bit more. I think you’ll be a hell of a writer.

Decent story. Excellent slants and angles. Massive typo problem.

Story is badly edited, and the son was a piece of shit for not telling his dad what his mom was doing

I think Wolf007 used Voice to Text in creating this mess and failed to edit it. Some of the errors and combined or wrong words remind me the same mistakes I see doing V to T. 2*

The plot was unoriginal and then about halfway through that changed…it got ridiculous and became almost unreadable.

There’s a story in there somewhere, but it’s difficult to find it.

Errors galore. The 2nd page makes almost no sense.

Poorly written.

There is NO way this was edited! GET A NEW EDITOR, so many mistakes, I gave up.

Latter parts were sadly unreadable which spoilt an otherwise entertaining yarn

I enjoyed the story thought it was very good. Just the typos and wrong words tripped me up. Quote “ After all, Pop, they did hire my fiance; you'll love him. You'll me!" That got me stuck for awhile. Robert is gay?

But at least you have the courage to write! Thanks for sharing. 4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a few mistakes but all in all a good story. work on the editing.

Yes, this descended into gibberish far too often. It was like you put pieces of words in a dice cup and shook them out on the page.

Needs work. Good luck.

The pacing was severely interrupted by all the extraneous information, irrelevant artifacts, and overblown exposition. This is the problem with 95% of amateur writers. Get an editor who ain't your pal but wants you to succeed as a writer (pro tip: all the GOOD writers use an editor). Worse was the descent into semi-intelligible attempts to be funny, clever, edgy, or... perhaps the literary equivalent of a kamikaze drone. Even that fell flat because it was bookended with too much extraneous information, such as the sausage roll, the soft drinks, etc.

-

Like the blown lay-up, you had a good idea, but it imploded.

The intent (what I could decipher) was good, the execution faltered with poor technical skill.

Did you read this even once after writing it? It has so many silly errors both in punctuation and continuity. It could have been a good story if you had paid attention

Ha, ha.

The plot was a little over the top,

but a lot less than some who have

appeared here recently.

I'm not sure the errors in print were the writer's fault.

They may have appeared after the story left his computer.

I liked the story and the humor in it.

I've never heard of reconciliation as form of a divorce.

That part really made me grin.

4 out of 5 from me.

GREAT story!!!

Loose ends, std’s, the waitress? No female for our hero, revenge on her lovers, wifey gets carted off to hospital and thats it?

Too many holes in the story and too much in need of a proofreader and an editor.

A perfect story, but only in the author’s mind.

Great premise and beginning.

Sentence fragments throughout were very distracting, so many at the end I just gave up and didn't finish.

I had a hard time following this. Thanks for the effort. KS

There were so many technical errors this was hard to read. Letters and spaces were dropped so often that entire paragraphs were incoherent. Pieces of plot were left unconnected. You started great, and then it felt like you rushed too much just to finish, and left pieces of story behind. I hope you will look this over, fix and re-submit it, because I am interested in the story that’s hiding inside.

incoherent and unreadable, Author's breakfast mushrooms must've been magic!

Please fix all the errors and try again. Story seemed interesting, but unreadable.

Too any errors. Imposible to read. Is English your first language?

Increasingly hard to read. Get an editor PLEASE.

I am so fkin confused bro. This was tough to get through and it was a shorter one haha

Comments say it all. Keep refining your language skills as the theme was above average and an editor can refine more than spelling and grammar. Maybe as one of the commentators who uses a name to BETA read the next one?

Enjoyed the story but like everyone else it was hard as Hell to follow. Too many spelling/grammar mistakes.

One of the forepersonsmen . Fucked up!!

The writer seems to be a sort of circus their self as well.

A nice enough plot, but as I read this I have to wonder if you use Grammarly as a help, it looks like it to me, it looks as if it has put words, or letters into the writing that you hadn’t intended

What a mess. Typos typos typos.

Hard to read with all the typos

Have some one proof this shit

This “writer” should start with learning English. The idea is ok but that is all.

A bit schizophrenic, but the core of the story was interesting... it's just that the constant typos, mangled names and roles made it VERY difficult to follow through.

You REALLY NEED to find an editor... or at least a MUCH better spelling- & grammar-checking software package.

The errors made it difficult to follow, and had it been better-prepared before posting, could reasonably be expected to have gotten 5 stars, instead of the 4 I gave it, hoping you find editorial support for future work.

Please find that support... I think you have good potential as an author here.

Sorry but the best thing about this story was the title. It was not at all well written and was at tines completely incomprehensible. The author needs to do a lot of work on either his English language or his computer skills before making any further submissions. A good concept but very poorly executed.

JR

So many spelling and grammar errors, it was hard to follow

Ditto. What they said.

Nice story but double ditto about the spelling and grammar errors. Made it hard to follow.

No problems in reading this. Fascinating melange. Defintely five sparkling stars all the way.

This was painful to read. To say it needs proofread is like saying the Grand Canyon needs more space. I almost stopped reading entirely, but I powered through the awful writing. There were sentences that were totally incomprehensible.

This was too poor to even be a first draft. I was between two stars and three, but settled on two stars.

JPB NOT BOB

I was probably a good stoy but so damn confusing it didn't come out that well.

It’s like you were typing but also had voice transcription going while conversing with someone. Holy crap, what a sh!t show. Not even an editor could fix this. There was no guessing what many of the sentences were meant to say. Might have been a good story, but alas…