All Comments on 'After the Fact'

Powerful story! But what a downer.

Boyd

An excellent piece that helped make a gray day

darker! Extremely well constructed.

...on the power of hindsight. Seems like a lot of people can relate to "should have, would have, could have"...

Thanks for sharing!

Yes, it is a downer, but it rings so true to life. Considering the way you developed her background, her character; in her mind she had no other choice. Well done, editor/author, well done.

Incredibly depressing. Almost didn't finish it. Wished i hadn't finished. I really didn't enjoy it at all. I probably would have felt better about her dieing if she had actually cheated, I certainly would have given you a better score.

The problem here is that the hubby falls apart and cries in the corner that Mommy hasd left men...

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Yet Nathan is the real Man and the real Hero who has a brain keeps his wits about him and almost saves her life.

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no wonder she really wanted Nathan... The story fails b/c I dont care what happens to the husband

you have absolutely captured the grief and reconstructions that are encountered and survived in such an event. Thank you.

Your talent is outstanding. This type of story right around Halloween is fitting. Thanks for your efforts.

I did not read this again so I hope it is a duplicate of your story posted on the other site earlier this week. I will reiterate what I wrote you upon reading this earlier, it is so sad yet it is a story of realism that I would rather leave behind when I am looking for relaxation and entertainment. Heck I am a romantic at heart so I like happy endings when they make sense. I love humor in stories as anyone who can laugh just had a moment of fun emotions (Those emotions lighten all our loads for a scant period at least).<P>Thank you again for sharing your talent with us, this was very well done.<P>With high regards<P>PT

Thank you for letting me know this was the sequel to Alone and Desolate. It explains Joanna's motivations a lot better. I had much more sympathy and empathy for Joanna and Jeremy having been in situations similar to both on several occasions. I couldn't stop reading even though I was pretty sure this wouldn't have a HappyEnding(tm). After the Fact was thought-provoking (e.g. what constitutes cheating, building up vs. tearing down your spouse, value of goals) and heart-wrenching for me. Again...thank you.

It left me cold because it was not believable. I'm not talking about the sad ending. The writing was pretty well done. But the problem I have with this story is the idea that a wealthy, worldly executive would be so helpless and paralyzed after reading his wife's obvious suicide note! While Nathan had more wits about him than Jeremy, Nathan was pretty dumb also. The first thing either of them should have done was call the police! The police can find out very quickly if someone is registered at a hotel and no desk clerk would refuse the information! Finding people is police business and the police get lots of practice doing that. I can't believe that neither man could think of something so obvious, distraught though they may have been. Jeremy especially behaved like a stereotypical woman, frozen and indecisive. I only gave 50% because the writing was good. My score was not low due to my disliking the story but rather due to the lack of credibility of the husband's actions (or lack thereof) during a time of crisis.

Very talented writer. What a bummer of a story. How depressing. ------------Do I want to read more of your stories?..... No, but I will.

Like the man that grabs you to keep you from running into a burning house to save a loved one. You could have if the person and several others seemed detyermined to make sure that hse burned up alive. It's the same way when people are trying to tell you something and you keep telling her to rest and go back to sleep...when will people learn to mind their own business?

The two bumbling men in the story were so fucking politically correct that they didn't even think to call the police and say that they thought that johnna was going to kill herself. NOOOOOOOOO not these idiots. The woman is better off where she is than having aone stupid jerk for a husband and another for a friend...sheese. The jerk of a husband didn't even let her say what she was going to say he only acted like a politically correct husband,, I hope you wrote this story with this in mind...If you tried to write a sad story then the real sadness was the stupidityu of the two men and you also.

I always seem to involved myself in any story I read. I think about how I'd respond in the various situations.

A story consists of 2 parts: technically correct writing (good here) and a good story (not good here).

Let me say first that this story and its (NOT IT'S!) predecessor are very well written. I didn't notice either the ubiquitous bad spelling or the usual instances of bad grammar. The story flowed well, and I didn't find useless filler. So from the standpoint of a story, IT'S fine.

But the shit that went on! The jerk of a husband said "Joanna had grown sad and felt abandoned but what could I do?" You could fucking stay home, you asshole! Did you even know you had children?

Did he ever consider the effect of their mother's suicide on his children? It's not addressed here, but we know enough about him to say "NO!"

And she said "He's working hard and it's not his fault if he can't be at home more often. I'm sure he would if he could." Crock! Crock! Crock!

The fact is we have a co-dependent couple here. He'd addicted to his success, his traveling, and himself. She enables his neglect.

This is a disgusting situation of a selfish husband and a wimp of a wife.

Is that what you wanted to portray, LadyC, or did you want the readers to feel sorry for these 2 miserable people? I think the latter, and in that you missed the mark.

One commenter said she's better off dead. I agree.

There!

Rich

Did she or didn’t she? That is, did Ms. perfect morality actually did – no – not ‘the nasty’ with Nathan, she is too ethical for that – but did she exact the only punishment she seems to have in her book for – I guess ANY ethical infringement and execute herself before husband and Nathan break in to her room yelling: Freeze! <P>

It could have been a real thriller; instead I found myself somewhat annoyed by the assumption of Joanna’s

moral perfection. For example, what about the pain which would necessarily be inflicted on the husband and the daughter upon the “departure” of the ‘perfect wife’ - due to her indulgence in moral righteousness? And how about her jarring deficiency in judgment (like jumping to the wrong conclusions without talking to Nathan)? Isn’t a sound judgment, rather than an erratic or irrational one, a necessary requirement for any moral person with good standing? <P>

I could not find much solace in the husband’s or Nathan’s characters either. Neither ever raised any question about the flimsy reasoning in her letter, and not a beep of anger about putting them both in such a stressful situation –for…..nothing. Instead, they are too absorbed in over rated admiration and praises to what seems like quite a self centered person. At some point I was reminded of the famous monologue from Shakespeare’s: “Julius Caesar”

Anthony repeatedly “praises” Brutus (one of the assassins of Caesar). The more he praises him: “For Brutus is an honorable man”, the worse Brutus (and the rest of the assassins) looks. So it goes with unworthy or exaggerated praises that they have the opposite effect on those who hear them, even if the speaker has not meant for it to be an ironic statement (unlike Anthony’s speech).<P>

The ending did not add any meaningful resolution: what were the important things she had to say? Why didn’t he tell her that nothing happened to provide her with some comfort –even if her distress was totally self inflicted? For me it was a missed opportunity to elevate the story.

Your very descriptive of a husband who does not love his wife more than his success in business, but then falls apart when he realizes that he should have. Very descriptive of a wife that comes across as perfect except for the fact she cannot communicate her unhappiness with their intial decision to succeed first then retire. Of course, she doesn't concern herself with her love's feelings or even her friend's when she takes her life... Then you quit being descriptive at the end when she tries to talk to him and he doesn't want to hear... You provided no answers to this sad tale and thus...wasn't very descriptive at all!!!! There was no real story! I guess that I have to go read the other?

So good to find that kind of writing here. Very thought provoking, very very good and much appreciated.

but it was a good read. Nathan was a true friend and the only hero in this story. The others were too little too late. Thanks author. Jim

It illustrated the fact that you don't need money to be happy.Thank you for a great read.

Regards John

Alternate happy ending please.

J

We are suppose to believe Nathan didn't screw her? Ha! She would be pretty drifty to NOT know that she had been screwed. Sorry follow up to a sorry initial story.

is to have the characters interrupt each other. It's usually the male telling the female to stop talking when the female is attempting to explain something. What the heck??? Why is this done? What is the deal with the male trying to shut up the female? The dialogue would be much more interesting if the woman was allowed by the author to complete her thoughts. More confusing when it's a woman writer.

This story sure made the husband look like an idiot. If he had not moped around for a couple of hours he could have gotten to her in time. Maybe what LadyCiBelle is really trying to say is that generally: men not only don't have a clue----they don't know that there is a mystery, as far as knowing their spouses.

A sad ending. What was she going to say? We'll never know.

You avoided all the blatant clichés, and you had humanized characters, but way too many unaddressed questions for this to be anything but a 1. OldBear.

I think it was a poignant and painful ending to a too short, painful story -

No it did not need to be ;longer - it was just right - but it was a short story none the less - for it should have been pone with a long happy retirement for a hard working man and a woman who had the strength of her principles to drive her through life's rocky shoals.

She held herself to a too high standard that no human could maintain - at the least she should have confided in him more so he could know what was wrong - of course he should have communicated more with her to avoid being so distant, so removed and so unaware. No bad people her3e and only one shining light Norman who had his own plains but rose above them.

For those who inject their reality on this story - "she MUST have cheated" - the author "must think all men are insensitive" or the like, get a grip. You may think any way you like but the author says what happened and you don;t get to change it based on your opinion - voice that you do not think it could be that way not that it WAS not that way - the LadyC gets to say what way it was. I know too complicated a thought for some to follow ah well! - mores the pity.

Too little information to comment much. Reminds me of 'The Lady and the Tiger'. I prefer more positive stories which celebrate life and emotional connections. But technically well written. Suicide without communication and patience is a waste of life which is a gift of great worth. Dan

If this is what you do to characters who almost cheat, what horrible fates do you inflict upon those who actually do?

Are you from Ireland? This is what the Irish people call "an Irish ending " . No happy endings. Your story was very well written, but so damn dark. Unless one has an incurable disease and endless pain, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The husband was totally thoughtless. I must admit, that I am a btb kind of guy. At the same time, his prolonged absences and indifference to his family, was thoughtless and inexcusable. I just wonder how you would have portrayed her if you would have allowed her to fall in love (lust) with Nathan. Just some thoughts.

And very disappointing. Parts of it are well written. But the cumulative effect was sadness. I just don't think that this story belongs on this site.

Talk about your depressing stories! Who needs to read this downer?!Sorry I did.

This is so sad and should never happen again. Lets face it that's gonna happen at least two to three times in your life if you live long enough. Think of a Mother that loses her baby or youngest child and as in the story a husband losing a wife. You can never be prepared ever.

Cancer!

Maybe the author, though being a female, does not share your hatred for men.

You write about males not having a clue.

Could be because when husband's ask their wives what is wrong wives always say ''Nothing''

No amount of sincere questioning and even pleading will get the gender which claims to be Mistresses of Communication to divulge the reason for their demeanor.

Females will divulge every deep dark secret and emotion to all and sundry except their husband.

This couple made a pact-forget the wisdom of their plan-that he would be on road for work to secure their future.

For 18 months she plopped herself on a barstool and poured out her frustrations to a male bartender.

The bartender knew the husband but chose not to fill him in...probably figuring he got to pick up the pieces.

Should the husband have noticed his wife's decline? Perhaps but did she give any signals, or were all his homecomings joyous events?

Even if husband had inquired, wife would have said nothing was wrong.

Yep he flirted but he didn't stray. Yes she became emotionally attached to another to the point of spending night in another man's arms...and she sought out that man's embrace.

Story reads she didn't physically cheat either.

Makes her suicide the act of a mentally ill person driven by extreme guilt because of her attachment to other man.

Speaking of clueless-a mother who forever leaves her children with the knowledge of her abandoning them forever

Great writing. Great follow up to "Alone...etc.". Nothing wrong with a sad despairing story and just because it wasn't a stroker doesn't mean it's in the wrong category. Well done I say. IDC what anybody else says.

A very well written story. And I am sure many people enjoyed it. But for me it was just depressing as hell. If I want to be depressed I’ll watch the ten o’clock news. So thanks for the story but I’ll pass on any more.

Such a sad story.

All because she fell asleep in another mans arms for a night out of being so lonely.

Her morals where so strong that this small be trail was to much for her to live with.

I just found the end result to be so sad.

Suicide has never been an answer. It only leaves loving ones to question themselves. Loved ones always have a tendency to blame themselves, questioning what they should have known or done to prevent this tragedy. But it sure is one way to erase your name from history. My late wifes cousin comitted suicide about twenty five years ago, up until now, his name is not even mentioned not even by his daughters, now they have somebody else they call daddy, and are making memories with him. When his brothers and sisters get together and start talking about their growing up years his name never comes up. I didn´t much like this story for the simple fact of a suicide taking place. Don´t get me wrong, it was good writing but I have very strong feelings when it comes to someone selfisly commiting suicide.

I could be wrong but I thought they both knew what his travel situation would be? If so why does she go all boo hoo into another mans arms and why does he feel so bad about doing what they agreed? Once she started feeling like he was drifting away did they talk it over?

And if they didn't cheat why the suicide? If she thought "oh no next time I may have sex" then drop Nathan. Don't kill yourself.

Lastly, why was he so quick to believe Nathan that no sex had ever happened? Not saying they did have sex, not my story to write, but he was so agreeable?

The letter fell from my fingers and I didn't pick it up. . . .

I stumbled back down to the living room still holding on to Joanna's letter.

Ummm what?

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They said that the combination of alcohol and medication had passed through her blood stream; that as a result her kidney and liver had shut down. They said that pumping her stomach had had no result because the alcohol and medication had been absorbed by her system.

They said that her organs were shutting down one by one and there was nothing they could do about it. They said they could try a complete blood change but they weren't sure it would work.

I'll admit Im not a doctor, but I do know that doesnt work

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Your first story made her out to be a cheating whore, this one a delusional moron who doesnt understand falling asleep in your clothes is NOT fucking

I dont understand authors who try to retcon their own characters in sequels

sad. depressing.

"How could I have, though? Sure, I had noticed that for the past couple of years, Joanna had grown sad and felt abandoned but what could I do?". This one line killed the story for me.

The simple answer to this question is, you talk to her and you keep talking until you both discover what the problem is. You ignore it at your peril.

Not talking about a problem is the best way to kill a marriage.

What a well written story with such a sad ending!!! An excellent follow up to your story "Alone and Desolate".

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Pasqual