All Comments on 'War on the Home Front'

by Laphroaig53

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  • 28 Comments
BobbyBrandtBobbyBrandt3 months ago

Paragraph structure and other story elements need some improvement, but the premise of the story and the skill in telling it outweigh these.

Baldy74Baldy743 months ago

I really enjoyed it, a nice thriller story. I gave it 5*.

But for me it's in the wrong category, I wouldn't say it had any romance in the story at all. No real romantic interaction or dialogue through the whole story until her declaration on the last page. It would have been nice to read about their relationship changing in that year, more dialogue between the two. Just my two thoughts, I look forward to your next story.

BlueFox007BlueFox0073 months ago

That was fun. Thank you for sharing. 5*****

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

This is unfortunately more of a pulp fiction police/military procedural than a real romance. I harps of the American belief that when faced with criminals, your best bet is to have lots of weapons and lots of prior military experience. It also helps to have a close association with a quasi-military group of people who are willing to drop everything and put themselves into a war situation, bypassing local law enforcement. The surface impression of the whole store isn't one of romance, but of screenshots of a bunch of teenagers playing Call of Duty in their basement. It isn't man meets woman and falls in love with her, it is my private army outguns your private army.

The story isn't even consistent within the war-games scenario offered. On discovering Sarah in the truck, she points a .38 revolver at him. Considering her background, this is probably her own gun and she knows how to use it. Later, it seems that she knows nothing about firearms, and Matt teaches Sarah how to shoot and buys her a gun.

This story is a far cry from the gentle innocence and real love of The Consequences of Two Phone calls. Please write more about love, and less about guns.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percy3 months ago

Very exciting saga!

5

BabalooieBabalooie3 months ago

Well done. Five big ones.

PrfsrPrfsr3 months ago

One thing - “Good ole boys” in Kentucky wouldn’t be toasting with Scotch. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

SlithyToveSlithyTove3 months ago

Meh. Not to the same level as your previous stories -- this is pretty generic, with no real surprises and little actual character development. Literotica should probably just create a "Military Exercises" category, since there are certainly enough stories to populate it big time, and there aren't many authors like Todd172 who can make the spy/military aspect be secondary to the story and characters. For the most part bodies bleeding out due to gunfire or other violent causes doesn't exactly sing romance unless you're into Romeo and Juliet or Antony and Cleo endings.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Some critics may have valid points.

Yes it's a bit military.

I'm OK with that.

But it's probably a good portrayal of the difficulty in getting justice against crooked governments.

Had to have clear and massive amounts of evidence including bodies.

Sadly true. A good effort much appreciated.

Cheers

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

I truly enjoyed reading this story. Great plot, good romantic sex, and a Happily Ever After. Great reading I will watch for this author again

deependerdeepender3 months ago

Ahhh, the old mythological militia trick. The readers get to wallow around in a hot tub full of reflected glory.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bc3 months ago

Extremely well written with balanced style, good character depth, and good plot flow. The private security teams were a bit over the top for me, but absolutely entertaining. 4.8*

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Don't know how to break this, but a collection of pus gutted, gun-fondling rednecks do no comprise a "well regulated militia" as envisioned by the 2d Amendment

AngelRiderAngelRider3 months ago

It was lovely. I don't care about the tropes. You are quite talented.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Just read three stories. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

We are very touched and our hearts warmed by your romantic tale of finding forever love.

Your story is well developed with deep well-rounded and thought out characters that provide substance to your story. Also, your writing style and attention to detail and context is nicely done and thorough. That is much appreciated and significantly adds to the reading enjoyment.

We have read all three of your stories and have enjoyed them all. Now we look forward to your continued offerings.

Thank you again.

S&JW

linnearlinnear3 months ago

My first of your stories but certainly not my last. Great reading.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

If you like romance mixed with action, this is worth your time.

I read all the comments. It reminds me of the reason I am not a member but a browser who enjoys romance. It is a great story despite, despite some of the politicized comments, and silly digs that seem not to be about the story but the commentator trying to show alphas tendencies.

The Hoary Cleric

DessertmanDessertman3 months ago

A fun, well written story. Two down, on to the next!

Beej23Beej233 months ago

Yet another belted of a tale! Loved it!!!!

Schwanze1Schwanze13 months ago

Helluva story but again, as usual on here, she got 8 mil dropped on her. Their job should be managing assets for best return. If they were stupid and made 5% return that's 400K. In the right real estate syndications I won't even tell you what they could make because you wouldn't believe it and you wouldn't believe the taxes. Does no writer on LW know a rich family? Ever heard of a family office? Their income stream, well managed, could do a lot for battered women and children. A lot more than a one time donation.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

I gave it five stars, but there were some blemishes. The story was too narrative driven. Also, the team sent to protect them was too sterile. It would have improved the story to add some text personalizing one or two of the team and include action for them. Perhaps the team leader at least could have been personalized.

Still, five stars.

JPB NOT BOB

OvercriticalOvercritical2 months ago

As usual with this author, everything is just too perfect. Matt's friend Bobby Lee had all the right resources to defend a siege by an army and despite the fact that the first trio of attackers apparently was taken down, the Johnson clan did not have the sense to recon the situation and find out who they were dealing with. All too convenient, but if the author wants to create fairy tales, I don't mind reading one. It does downgrade the rating to 4*, but it was still a fun read.

MarrttyMarrttyabout 1 month ago

Just finished all your work. You are a pretty good writer. I hope you continue to produce stories. Nice variety of characters and your stories are unique. I applaud your MCs are different, and each sex scene is different enough to not fall into a rut of samness.

HansTrimbleHansTrimble27 days ago

Truly, a masterpiece!

Hans

AnonymousAnonymous23 days ago

I enjoy your stories— among other things, they don’t need sex scenes to hold a reader’s attention. If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to “show, don’t tell.” If you poke around the internet there are many resources available to help writers grow in their craft, as well as a number of writer groups in discord. I’ll probably read more of your stories!

LT56linebackerLT56linebacker16 days ago

I don't care what the nay-sayers say, it was excellent. Just my cup of tea. Good morals, good characters, and take care of business. And I'm fairly certain all the bad guys are not still functional, even if some of them may still be walking around upright. AND a happy ending. 8 stars, because I pay extra to be able to do so. The Bear approves. Just one question- Was it a Ford truck?? Thanks for writing. Please, write some more.

The BEAR

olddave51olddave515 days ago

Good fiction it is YOUR story you take it to wherever you want it to go.

Just how old was/is his mother?

Is the age difference just under 20 years?

May-December romances are great. Keep writing.

Anonymous
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