All Comments on 'Untraditional Pt. 03'

I enjoyed it, but there is an unresolved element.

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Quoting from the story

: We discussed it - Puko and I - and I'd like to say I brushed it off, maybe convinced myself it was just a fantasy and the day would never come. I always thought Rob would..."

:"No, you didn't," she interrupted. "You knew better. There's no way you could marry him, live together for nearly nine years, and not know."

:I looked slightly away, embarrassingly. She was right and we both knew it. That indisputable fact did not put me in a good light.

/

She admits that she knew how Rob would react, but she brought him to the island anyway. Why?

Good story I wasn’t keen on the fight at the end seemed a bit childish especially with so much resting on it.Also the actual tradition of the island in no way atones for Mel’s actions.She was unfaithful to Rob at her fathers funeral so basically the rot started there and she used the island tradition to continue the affair.So really this was a story about a unfaithful wife who thought the grass was greener and made a poor choice .i still enjoyed it through well done 👍

Great ending of your story. I like the way you brought everything together. 5stars

This was a good story overall, but I felt like the final part was weaker than the others, mostly because having that part exclusively from Mele's view seemed less appropriate than using Aleki as the voice since she represents the future for both the island and her husband. There is some symbolism to me in the fight occurring at the end. While Rob would have fought for his first wife, she was no longer worthy as she had already committed adultery after her father's funeral. On the other hand, Aleki had been both honest and honorable, so she was worthy of Rob's s defense of her honor. Further, it would seem that the dishonorable behavior of both Mele and Jon made them a displeasing choice for the ritual, as their reason for participating was selfish for each and impure.

A logical end; it felt like a snapshot. There is more to be written. Ikaika almost hitting a child? Hmm, I think island culture would have something to say about that!

Good follow up, well written. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I enjoyed this, though I did feel the ending was a bit weaker. The first two did explore the conflicts between different cultures and ideas, with a good portion of one tradition vs. another tradition vs. flexibility vs. modernization, which I found really engaging.

The problem was the third sort of devolved into a rather simplistic good guy/villain situation with a violent conflict as part of the resolution. While viscerally satisfying many in LW, I suppose, it lacks the complexity and ultimate satisfaction that might come with more intellectual and spiritual conflict resolution. I think it would have been neat if Jon had felt really guilty for hurting Rob as well, ending up in a mediocre and not terribly satisfying marriage, and when becoming elder, had been the one to discontinue the (already dying?) tradition. That way, growth could have been shown both on Mel's part and his part AND the Islanders' part.

Further, I think it might have been interesting to find some spiritual high ground or resolution of sorts when considering the importance of Mel's wedding vows . . . something perhaps along the lines of, 'an affront to one god is and affront to all god' or even 'a promise broken before one god (and/or religion) is an insult to all gods (and/or religions). This would have kept Rob on the high ground, rather than devolving to a 'me vs. you' or 'us vs. them' translating to a simple 'good guy vs. bad guy' sort of situation.

That being said, I enjoyed the growth in Mel's understanding of realities at least, though I thought her (karmic, sort of) punishment may have continued past where it needed to. She learned her lesson. The lifetime punishment within her conscience was more than enough.

I was really glad Rob and Aleki ended up together. I really thought that could work . . .

As a person resulting from a somewhat mixed marriage (and part of a family that seen a lot of them - Christian-Jewish, Muslim-Christian, Pakistani-American, Traditional-Reform, and a number of other mixes over the generations, I know that things can usually be made to work. Of the many marriages and partnerships in the extended family, the few resulting in divorce or extended separation tended to be the non-mixed ones. Maybe the extra effort required for mixed cultural and/or mixed ethnic and/or mixed traditional-modern marriages actually makes the bond stronger.

The story didn’t go as I thought it would. Was a good ending of sorts. The news crew would have had a field day with what occurred. Mel relationships with Mark was a let down. Everyone screws up a time or two but when you are honest with someone and let them know you screwed up. That tells them you not apt to do it again. Mark had no real character in him. It was a good series. Great job

A really good read, and a satisfying conclusion. Excellent depth of characters. I'm glad Rob got his redemption, and that Mele understands what she lost. We all make stupid decisions at times, and sometimes you can't walk them back. Thank you for sharing. - gb

The author painted himself into a corner but was able to escape in part 3. A few details are off the believable scale but that's okay. This was a much better ending than some of the author's recent stories in my opinion. Mel was still a villain in my mind. The fact that she succumbed to sex with Puko alias Jon on her initial trip back to the island is unforgiveable. This in itself set her up as the co villain in this story no matter what her good intentions radiated in part 3. As far as the immersion into island culture in the south pacific, the crux of the matter is these cultures continue traditions because they are isolated and unaware of possible changes in time honored rituals. As stated by Rob and his wife upon their return to the island, broadband and potential additional travel possibilities will change everything on that fantasy island. "The plane, the plane"!

This last part was a little bit disappointing after the detail and emotions in the first two parts, but it did 'wrap up' the story, even if it seemed a bit rushed.

Somehow I thought there would be more detail in how & why Mele had destroyed Rob, in what decisions she had made in leaving the island, and a bit more angst in Jon's intent to again steal Rob's wife.

Overall an enjoyable story, and 4 stars for this last part, but I gave 5 stars for the story overall.

Thanks for writing, as your work is always enjoyable.

Enjoyed the story.

I liked your resolution, you could have stopped after part 2. Either leaving conclusion to other writers, or just leaving Rob in limbo. Glad you didn’t. Finally, the deceitful wife is forced to own her actions. Finally those who harm others awhile hiding behind tradition, have their own culture used against them. IMO you did well with this series.

Anticlimactic. The fight not well written. But Rob did rise above Haole status.

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Attempts to clarify the culture was muddled. Did Mele parish in the recent Maui fire so Pele could restore Mele's shattered mana?

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3.5*** hooyah

An interesting tale of clashing cultures and macho bullshit. Ron was just another one of those alpha male wannabees. Our MC was ill prepared to deal with that when confronted with the tradition of wife being with another man in everyway for 28 days. What man would put up with that? I think most men when confronted with it would just say to his wife "we are leaving" if she didn't agree the leave without her, which of course is what he did with a little delay.

The ending was a bit lacking and the fight scene could have been better. The smarter and more dedicated man won, as it should be. Because it left me a little wanting I would give it 4 stars but our writer deserves 5 for effort and his treatment of traditions showing that people and traditions change. I do believe though that something is lacking in our 'white' culture and that is some of the old customs and traditions that were brought here by our ancestors...........

So what happened to Martina at the end of part 2?

There are many positives about the series, including good writing and introduction of Micronesian culture. Yet, I found the tory disappointing in several respects which I respectfully note for whatever benefit they may have:

1. The story does not adequately explain Mel's conduct. She lived in the American culture since she was either 12 or 14 years old (it is 12 in Part 1 and 14 in Part 3), was intelligent enough to attend a university, studied comparative cultural studies, had a job as a curator, and had been married to Rob for nine years. So why would this intelligent adult woman bring Rob to the island when she must have known that her mother was right that Rob’s exposure to the festival would destroy her marriage? Mel never explains her rationale or her decision, because only a braid-dead person would have thought that Rob would accept the festival. Mel did not tell Rob that she cheated with Jon on their first trip because Mel knew what Rob would do. So central point to the story is an intelligent mature woman acting brain-dead.

2. Jon is made into an almost cartoonish villain. Story would have more intense if Jon was a true-believer who acted to preserve a vestige of an ancient culture, and who was truly sympathetic to Rob.

3. I don’t buy Aleki’s success. First, hard to believe that anyone could become a good artist at age 18 or so, and without any study. Even if a prodigy, it takes time and a lot of effort for artists to be recognized.

4. Second. Aleki strikes me as evil in her own way. She fraudulently entices her sister to accompany her to the United States to help her buy a wedding dress without telling Mel until the last day that the dress is to marry Mel’s former husband.

5. Third, she and Rob appear as the Big Bwamas to tell the locals what they need, as opposed to working with the people from the beginning. Rob and Aleki are the epitome of the Ugly Americans.

In short, story had far more potential that I fear was executed.

It wasn't until the epilogue that any new meaningful depth was revealed. As each chapter was entertaining, your goal of improving the depth of your characters seemed to stall. Much of the babble coming from Mel was contradictory and a distraction from the story at times. Like I said, the epilogue was the only contribution beyond the first chapter or so. As I read the last section a thought dawned on me, I think many people asking for forgiveness often times are really asking for everything to go back to the way it was. As such, the pivotal moment for anyone is when they forgive the offender for their OWN sake. 3.9*

I'm glad Rob and Aleki ended up together. I do think Rob was foolish to put so much on the line in that fight and if I was Aleki I'[d have been very angry with him.

I also think Mel got the ending she deserved. Let's be honest, if Puko was what she thought he was she'd never have felt any remorse. She said in her own letter that she felt pretty much no guilt for what she did. She only had some feelings for Rob because she was so badly burned by Puko and she basically had buyer's remorse. I felt no empathy for her and I can see why Aleki is distant from her. She probably doesn't trust Mel anymore than Rob does.

Part 2 had Aleki's abandonment, little else.

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Part 3 had a fight with the man Puko who took his wife away and a big bribe to the council. Killing off the mother solved the moral problem of revenge on a female.

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Lots of "woe is me" from the x-wife's journal does nothing anyone. Pulling Aleki out as a-to-be wife after 9 years is an unworthy authorial move.

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Nobody gained and only Puko suffered losing his spot as leader.

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A most disappointing story with a weak MC. No rating from me.

Good ending, effin hell it would have been so stupid if some rich handsome capn save a hoe just came in married a single mum at the last minute

The fact that you are Palangi stands out like the proverbial dogs balls. You may have researched Pacifica culture but they are many and varied. You speak about the people of Vanuatu as being Polynesian when in fact they are Melanesian. There is quite a difference. Its like saying the indigenous people of Mexico come from the Indian sub continent. Totally wrong and actually insulting to the Ni-Vanuatu. The language used is closer to Hawaiin than anything else. A little research goes a long way when it comes to respecting other cultures. This in noway reflects the way things are for the peoples of the Pacific

Just when I didn’t think it could get any worse. Every cliche known to man , even down to the Mano a Mano fight, won by the now tough ex wimp.

AH HA i can give you 5 stars Maybe I really am a romantic Good story (jaybee186)

Excellent story, all three chapters, thank you! 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'s.

Feels like Part 3 was to appease those who so hated the 1st 2; as such it moves up from 1 to 2 stars.

Oh woe is me, I’ve been so stupid. The Apology Tour chapter. I know it’s only a story, but let’s have at least some honesty, the I’m sorry for how my life turned out is self serving drivel for someone never honest with her husband from the start. 1*

so are we supposed to pretend that pt2 never existed?

Excellent story that I read with interest. The villains got it the end and the good people prospered on, with a sorrowful unfaithful wife knowing she lost a good man feeling hardship and regretting her mistake. What could be better. I enjoy your writing

5 stars.

did u totally forget what u wrote in part 2? wow u fucked rob up lol u really dont like that guy do ya. so what happen to the woman he was getting serious with in the end of part 2? and im guessing he didnt mean that he would never go back to the island. weird that he would put his son and new borne baby in danger like that. sorry bu part 3 has nothing to do with part 2

Jon/Puko, fell too easily into the cliche of the "bad guy" for my liking. Sadly, in that part, the story lacked the originality it started off with.

“I no longer blame Mother, Puko, or even a stupid tradition.” Why not? Sure, she was stupid, but those tools manipulated her big time. Without that manipulation, she likely doesn’t fuck up.

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CWG — you were correct that appreciation of this story required all the background. This is one of those stories that a reader will benefit from a second reading.

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5 *****

Thank God Mel's almost new husband Mark realised she was cheap whore and ran for his life.

I must admit that I didn't find it a very satisfying story on any level. Perhaps because it reads like an almost copy and paste variant of the same story set on a Scotish Island. I guess this was simply a variation on the theme.

Oh well one cannot be expected to like everything and similarly an author cannot expect to please everyone. I'm certain there will be enough readers who do like it. But personally I found the ending particularly egregious especially the disingenious claim that Rob's decision to learn Capaoria apparently had little to do with his need for revenge...

This was a good story. Thank you posting. To those who enjoyed this story, you should check out the story "Gifted", by Fredoberto. It deals with a somewhat similar theme, and is one of the best stories on this site, in my opinion.

Great job and a good ending. I like the direction you went with Mel. Clearly her relationship with Jon was never going to work as it was created in betrayal and deceit. 5 stars.

A bit of a letdown, really, after the depth of the first 2 chapters. The whole thing decided by a dick measuring contest?

Its unfortunate that a decent author often falters at the crux or turning point of their plot. In the effort to create drama and suspense they forget the anchor or foundation of drama and suspense: Truth and Reality.

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And that's where stories like these come up short. They simply don't make sense. The entire body of thoughts and actions that culminated with Mel fucking then marrying Puko was mindless and destructive from the very beginning. And the author tried to use some island tradition mumbo jumbo to explain and justify what are obviously stupid and inexplicable actions on Mel's part. Everything the author has Mel admit to toward the end of the story was obvious to any close reader from the very beginning. Mel's actions were those of a stupid shallow arrogant self-absorbed bitch. So the first plot fault is how could Rob not see how empty and soulless she truly was? How could Mel not see that Puko was a screaming asshole? How could Rob not see that Puko/Jon was just using him and didn't really care for him as a friend? How and why did it take Ron and Aleki 5 years to become man and wife, especially when she left him after 6 months claiming she had to return to her island culture? The questions and inconsistencies and completely illogical and cruel behaviors run through most of the story, deflating its substance.

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In the end, its just another somewhat above average Literotica piece. Hope the fuck scenes were adequate. The characters were contradictory and unbelievable.

But what happened to Martina, the Nova Scotian woman Rob was seeing at the end of part 2?

Thank you for completing and closing the circle. Five stars again where more would be offered. My comments hold from the previous in this series. So thirty 30 stars for the completed set. Assimilation , diversity and a comparative of human frailties. Well done

Really didn't finish strong but I'm rob beat Jon at his game. I do enjoy your writing style.

an addition similar to the previous could only be considered a movie making legend. the exotic scenery and the love drama scenario is guaranteed for success.Even complimentary to the whole story it lays a peaceful end to the drama and the lives of the main characters.A nice twist to end the perfect storm of infidelity, pain, loss, due to and in-spite of cultural differences. me humble opinion 5/5

Sad ending. 2 stars

Much better than part 2. 5 stars.

At the end of the day there wasn’t much there. 3*

This was definitely the best of the three. A solid 2 for a change.

Mel was unforgivable from the first chapter onwards. Who cares what she thought, regretted, rr did at anytime after that? Her actions were irrelevant and there is no believable reason why Rob and his family would ever go back there.

Good story series with appropriate conclusion for the main characters. One nagging question--since Rob and Mel had passionate sex before she and Jon went for the ritual, couldn't Mel's son have been Robs? Thought a DNA test at the end would have been one last twist. Liked the exploration of cultural and American strengths and deficiencies. 5 stars

I don't think I would have been happy until Jon was under the dirt or the fuel for a fire pit. I would have also slapped the shit out of the slut's little bastard for raising a hand towards the 4 year old. To be honest, I think it was foolish for Rob and his wife and kids to go back to that shit hole without a security detail.

Overall enjoyable story but, this chapter fell kind of flat for me. Primarily because there were inconsistent details that didn't match up with the story told in the first two chapters.

Aleki leaves Rob after 6 months in Boston citing cultural differences. Yet in this chapter, several years later she takes Mel to California, buys a wedding dress and heads to Boston to marry Rob???

Jon/Puko has hated Rob the entire time he's known him? In the first two chapters we're told what good friends they were and it was Jon that tried to reassure Rob and make him feel better about the solstice celebration. Then out of the blue in this chapter we find it was all a long term plot in Jon's part. He's not portrayed as smart enough to pull something like that off.

Considering Mel's self reflection and owning of her mistakes this chapter could have been really good but, it came up short

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Strong finish.

I ranted a bit (a lot) in part 2 comments. Here, I want to say kudos to a reader, Someoneother, who not only read the whole thing, but the retention was off the hook. He made 5 very insightful points that encapsulated everything about the story and characters. I'll respond for the other readers in the same order he went.

1. Mel wasn't just a narcissist, by today's loose terms. She was about as selfish as one can get. In a perfect world, Rob would have seen that much earlier in the relationship, but hey, we've all made that mistake at least once, right? (Yes, I mean you and me, all of you). Mel was conflicted, as written, but she let her thoughts betray her into thinking, mostly hoping, Rob would accept the ritual.

2. Someoneother got this right too, although he formed it in a question. Jon/Puko from part one was a street brawler who only knew/ hung out with Rob to help with his homework. All street and no book smarts, beginning to end. He never changed. Never grew.

3. It was great and surprising that SOO picked up on Aleki's art success. I thought about it when writing the piece, but then I remembered my eldest daughter didn't get into a pool competitively until 7th grade. The folks at the Y told us not to have any big expectations. She ended up taking her high school deep into the playoffs in water polo and earned a full-ride scholarship to one of the top five schools in the country. I didn't start writing professionally until I was 49. Now it will probably be part of my retirement plan.

4-5. Aleki not quite evil, however, SOO again hits the bullseye. In part two, she was so disenchanted with the Western culture, she wanted desperately to go home. Then after 4 years back and forth and five exclusively in America, she completely flip-flopped, like I think most of us would. So much so, that she was willing to pay to introduce her island to the very technology she originally despised. The bit I wrote about the Google search, is exactly what came up when I did it myself. I had to go back and make sure I read my research right or didn't misspell the words.

Thanks, SOO, for reading the whole thing and the very thoughtful comment!

This right here, is what I was referring to in comments on chapter two. @kiwihunter, a reader who most likely hails from New Zealand, could or would typically be a resource or a subject matter expert. Maybe he was reading the story as he was nodding off, maybe he was six deep into some potent Australian beers, who knows, but come on brah, read the damned story.

I said twice that the island was in Melanesia. Polynesia refers to the Archipelago at large. That includes Hawaii, Tonga, Samoa, and even your home of New Zealand. Some refer to it as Oceania. Surely, you understand that? I mean, I rarely believe Google or Wikipedia without doing further research, because you can easily make yourself a very stupid person, but even they back up what I just said in this case. There's a SoCal city called Compton, and it's infamous for several reasons, but the city itself is entirely inside the borders of the city of Los Angeles, so... See how that works? The Alaskan territory is owned by the United States, but it's in Canada. I don't know, maybe I just went to school when they actually taught kids something, instead of trying to rename and erase shit.

Also, the story does not take place on Vanuatu. Also, on every single one of those islands, Kiwi, everyone, speaks some version of Hawaiian. It may include dialects from other larger islands like Samoa or Tonga. Again, a quick search on basically any search engine will help you with that. This island, BTW, is "UNNAMED" as the story says and like many of those 1000 islands has no or very little modernity. So, of course, they can speak some form of Hawaiian, which the local islanders don't even consider to be Hawaiian, just their own language.

I'm leaving your comment up as an example, but you should hit me up on PM, to discuss further. I always appreciate your feedback, so I'm really hoping you were just shit-faced drunk when you wrote this.

With all the money Rob and Aleki had accumulated, they should have returned to the island with a dozen or so mercenary bodyguards, informed Jon and his followers that the last available female for their "tradition" had chosen not to participate, let their thugs deal with Jon's thugs, then depart, leaving the island and its inhabitants behind to rot. Isn't that the "traditional" way that wealthy people from the mainland deal with recalcitrant primitives? And it probably would've cost them a lot less than that stuff they offered to build.

Overall I liked it. Nice fairy tale. In reality if someone as famous as Aleki was “returning home” the relevant national government would have sent along someone to make sure everything went smoothly.

Excellent conclusion. I agree with your “rants” but personally had a problem with the second part. Having lived in several countries and been the outsider I understood the issues and problems no matter where the story occurred. That said I feel you did an excellent job in the last part.

I do agree felt that Aleki was kind of left hanging as a character but that does not overly detract from the story as a whole

The least likeable characters (beyond Puko who was clearly an unrepentant asshole) were Mel and surprisingly her son. Neither appeared worthy of any likeability nor in any way appeared worthy of any sort of forgiveness or redemption

Ikaika was too similar to his father and suffered from the same problems without any redeeming qualities. Scuba diving “friends” just doesn’t appear to be a reasonable justification or course of redemption

All that said, I did like the story. Not a true BTB but Mel deserved her punishment and lack of happiness in her end state. Overall I rated it as an uneven, but in the end, five stars.

Interesting but somehow not a story I expected from your work. Mel seemed to be hit by the MSR and after having a relationship with jon, bearing his child, continuing the relationship years later goes Opps. Nah.

Mel showed a little more humanity in this, in the original story you get the idea she was just a selfish bitch. We learn more about her, how she finally acknowledges she could have said no to the ritual but didn't want to. She fell when she has sex w Jon after her father passed, the ritual was so she could have sex with Jon again.

In the end she acknowledges that she screwed it all up because she didn't love rob enough to say no to Moana. Moana is an evil bitch, her telling Mel to leave Rob home wasn't to protect him, it was to give him a crack at having Mel..

The ending needed a closing thought I felt, it terminated a bit abruptly.

Very unique and well done. 3 - 5s from me.

You shouldn't have written the third part. She is not needed in the story.

The author should be commended for his literary talent and interest in exploring unusual variations of the various LW genres which have evolved organically over time. This series is technically well written, and the time and effort invested in its creation are a generous gift to the Literotica community. The series suffers, however, from a foundational flaw. In order for the reader to engage with the story line, he/she would need to see value in the culture of Emae Island and thus have empathy for those characters who are invested in maintaining and honoring the island's traditions. Emae Island, as presented here, has a culture that values force over reason, empowers liars over truth tellers, rewards deceit over honesty and is loyal to misbehaving natives over properly comported outsiders. In short, the culture of Emae Island is corrupt, and those who seek to perpetuate it are malevolent. The eradication of Emaen culture would be cause for celebration with no regrets. There was no reason to mourn the death of Aleki's mother, and no reason for her, Jon or their children to waste their time in a Polynesian Hell hole.

Much much better than the second part. The overall story was too long and could've been tighter. Two parts would've been sufficient.

I apologize. I can see now that there is a there, there. It's just that it is an implausible and unsatisfying place, empty of any meaningful redemption. I do not think I will travel again to this authors fantasy world.

For goodness sakes folk. This is fictional story that takes place ina fictional Pacific setting. The places may or may not have the same names as real islands but they are still fictional as are the inhabitants and the lingo they speak.

This part went off the rails for me. None of Aleki's decisions, from the time she initially befriends Rob to the time she returns for her mother's death, are explained in a way that makes sense. This leaves her not seeming like a real character. The story would have been more interesting if Jon/Puko had been a decent husband in Island terms, instead of turning out to be a rotter: have him represent a real choice for Mel. The culture conflict could also have been used to make Mel a more complex and interesting character; instead, you wrote her as a simple narcissist.

Nothing like flip the entire story on its ear on the last installment. Not up to your usual standard as I see it.

You're generally one of my favorite writers here, as I have mentioned a number of times. However, this story detoured quickly to Clicheland and became much less interesting. The cultural conflict could have been explored better if, for example, Jon was more a Macbeth than a Snidely Whiplash.

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Also, you're not doing yourself any favors in the comments. You show a tendency towards an "I'm the smartest/best-educated guy in the room" attitude (not just in this story's comments, but others as well) - see, for example, "maybe I just went to school when they actually taught kids something, instead of trying to rename and erase shit.". It's frankly ignorant, and definitely not a good look.

I found this interesting, and entertaining!

I think you drifted a bit with the ending, but it makes sense... remorse is powerful.

Thank you for the story!

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Be well!

@cooking with gas

Compton is in Los Angeles County but not within the City of Los Angeles. Alaska is adjacent to Canada but not in Canada. While the story takes place in what is identified as Melanesia, Polynesian languages that occur there are related to but not the same as Hawaiian. As far as the story goes it is an entertaining recasting of South Sea yarns of ill fated loves between Islanders and Europeans. It is interesting that Jon, the upholder of tradition. is cast as a bad guy and ultimately a loser, while Aleki, who seems to have devolved into a brown haole, and Rob, the haole nui bearing gifts, dispense largesse and are paragons of progress and the winners in the contest between tradition and westernization. Love the camera crew tagging along to put the gloss on the trip! But in any case the Islanders, at least in large part, are happy to get the improved communications and more frequent transport provided by Aleki and Rob. An interesting follow up story would be one that answers the question; can mana be regained once it is lost and if so by what means? 5 stars.

Excellent ending. I’m glad Aleki worked it all out and married Rob, the circle was complete and lm glad Puko(Jon) got his.

Well done 5;5 and into favourites

I found this last chapter very disappointing. You wrote an absolutely horrid character that I had a very visceral reaction to. So much so, that I actually left a comment after the second chapter. Don't bother looking for it, its no longer there. This chapter is disappointing because it's all about the horrid character's rather meek acceptance of her choices, and a bit part in the rather disjointed take down of Puko. There are some really interesting, character building, things that are just glossed over, side mentions, principally Aleki's transition from a user of Rob, to wife of Rob.

I felt like there were some serious, odd changes of ideas and personalities that made this difficult to accept as a continuation of the prior parts. Things contained here in this third part made Mel look even worse, clearly having no real issue to the point with leaving Rob for Jon, then now in a diary questioning the very thoughts she had so espoused previously that made it clear she wanted Jon, as she wrote even in her letter to Jon in the second part. Another change made the end of the second part look like it was a mistake and not the ending of anything between Rob and Aleki, as here they are married. Consistency is the hallmark of a great writer, and this series lacked that consistency in so many areas.

Meh...kiwicunter is a tool on the best days.

ehh...I'm not sure anyone reading on LIT is all that thrilled about a story depicting our protagonist

being completely manipulated, disrespected, cuckolded and stranded on a remote island hundreds

of miles from civilization knowing his heretofore loving wife will be in the arms of another very cocky

guy for a month. Not only that but our mc discovers the entire situation was planned by his wife and

her family months and maybe years prior! Yes the following chapters brought some honor and dignity

back to our Rob after losing his wife and years of tribulation.

This is one of your better stories. Like I stated in Chapter 2 I really didn't like the fact that the husband Mark was taking a significant amount of blame but in the end it turned out not too bad.

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Many people have commented or wondered about the motivation behind what Mel did on the island with that other guy. The motivation seems quite obvious to me. She wanted to partake in both cultures and she used the cultural differences as an excuse to fuck the other guy and have great Wild primitive passionate sex with him all the while hoping that the husband would accept it as some sort of cultural differences. She let her mother talk her into this because it's something that Mel wanted to do. It's just that simple.

I’m glad she finally came to her senses. Little disappointed you didn’t elaborate on how rob got back with Aleki.

Finall, Mele does deserve some happiness, so it’s kind of sad she was alone at the end of the story.

Ok, I liked this story, thought it was well written. The 3rd part was on the weak side. The fight was good Puke should have been kicked off the island especially since he was impregnating everyone on the island. Turning the 3rd part to Mele was a mistake, when the first 2 were Rob. She wasn’t the victim, she did it on her own. Rob got his MANA back twice fold.

Thanks fo sharing……

Different 5stars

Called it. Every trope. Saw this ending back in part one. Nothing even remotely surprising. Not even two dimensional characters.

The Christian Bible has a perfect summation of Rob: "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly" Proverbs 26:11. First he marries Mel and continues on with her for 9 years, though sometime in those years he must have realized what she was. Then he goes for the sister who, like Mel, uses him for a while and then discards him. Next he takes up with Aleki again and

even marries her knowing full well she's a user. Finally he returns to the island from where all his betrayers originated, the ground zero for his misfortunes. He should have gone for a divorce from Aleki and split community property 50/50 before she had a chance to go back to Melanesia. Let her keep the kids and get knocked up in the ritual with at least one more so she can fit back into her community. She can easily afford it now that she is a world acclaimed artist. Who knows, doing the 28 days might even reestablish the sisterly bonds between Mel and her.

It would have been funny if Ron had Ikaika secretly tested and compared to his own DNA, to find out it was he who had knocked up Mel the day before she left for the mountain. Then he could send the results to Mel on Ikaika's 18th birthday.

How dumb can you get?? Sorry, but if you don't take a knife to a gunfight, then don't go unarmed against guys with spears. Keep an eye on her. The Bear doesn't trust her.

The BEAR

Thanks for addressing my point about Mele’s unresolved motivation. You don’t owe us a resolution, yet I think, that with all Mele’s introspection. she would address it. For me, being a narcissistic explains how she was able to let herself manipulate her husband into coming to the island to be horribly humiliated and cruelly treated. It doesn’t explain why she wanted that. With there being no reason obvious (to me), I will throw out a few.

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1. She wanted to stay on the island and marry Jon, but she could not admit it, even to herself. This, I think, is the most likely.

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2. She likes drama. She wants two men to fight over her. This is my second choice.

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3. She thrives on attention, even bad attention.

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4. She likes a special kind of drama. She enjoys being the spoiler.

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5. She wanted a femdom marriage. If she could get Rob to accept what happened, then she would have a clear path to that sort of marriage.

Great ending!

5

Yep, very nice story. I have no idea if it could happen,Very nice storyline

Not even sure how to address everything wrong with this. It was like MGT writing fan fiction, using Polonesian stuff.

I did enjoy your trilogy.

The best characters won.

Thanks!

5 stars from Xluckylee for a very different kind of story

10 Big Blazing Stars for another Great Epic tale! Heartbreak to heartbreak with this meeting of cultures. Yet the truth eventually comes out and turns out it is all about seduction and power for PUKO, the slimeball. How he didn't loose his dick or at least his balls remains a mystery. Our MC eventually got some balls and confronted his life long tormenter. But NEVER hurt him as bad as he deserved. Mel spent her life in shame after her delusional romp with Puko, spurred by her accomplice Mother. If Our MC was not betrayed he never would have gotten together with Mel's younger, hotter and more talented Sister. But the betrayal from Mel was complete and total. Me, I would have found an alternate path to the mountain lodge and beat the crap out of both of them with a log or something. LOL Betrayal is betrayal, there is NO forgiveness. CWG has the greatest talent and imagination for writing these stories. Obviously his real name is "Clive Cussler" Thanks for the effort CWG. Great Job. Buster2U

I am really tempted to ask CWG permission to do an alternative ending. LOL But, I haven't been able to finish the story that I have been working on as it is. Heck, it is right there in the other comment already. LOL Puke, needs to loose his Dick LOL what a bastard. Thanks, Clive for all the effort you put into your stories. My goodness, I know that you easily put in over 40 hours writing this. Thanks very much. Buster2U

First of all, on a scale of LW writing, this and all CWG's works are in top .01%. I think in his other life, people pay money for his work.

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Having said that, I wonder why so many readers parse the characters in a story looking for inconsistencies, flaws, and incongruence. Unless those are anachronisms or continuity errors, some of this is human nature. People often say one thing while doing something else. Some of the things missing from LW characters, especially the lead characters, are imperfection, inner conflict, contradiction, self-doubts, or inconsistent messaging. That's why many LW MCs are imperfectly perfect. Missing are the character arcs upon which fictional plots move through the three-act-plot format construct. Someone stated in another story that writing with a perfect character is like playing a kids' video game with maximum cheat codes. Beware of perfect characters.

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Mele was a believable character as she struggled between her two "selves," and we saw her character arc follow the growth, understanding, and ultimately, assumption of responsibility for her fate. Jon/Puko is like many men who began life as a troubled youth, got by on physical prowess, and ultimately fell to the disconnect between brawn and brains as age renders the former irrelevant. Rob also similarly evolved from the hapless, dispossessed little kid to an evolved man who, each time he was knocked down, rose again. Literally and figuratively.

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As I read works like this, I study the writing. I also digest both the good and negative feedback that's offered and try to understand some of the feedback that comes from Deep Space (much of it's insightful), I try to write better. Like most critics who have a body of comparative work, I understand that I've been guilty of some of the aforementioned.

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In business, I traveled around Micronesia, parts of Melanesia, Fiji, Samoa, and the Antipodeans (mainly Oz). While there are vast cultural similarities, every island or archipelago tends to look at the others as shaky, untrustworthy, and inferior, even in nitpicky ways. The people on Chuuk told me not to trust the people on Kosrae because "they use magic." They were serious, and this was typical of the little beefs they had. Hell, look at Oz and New Zealand--the latter still hold Trevor Chappell and his brothers in low regard for Trevor's rolling the ball on the final bowl in the 1981 test match. So, I think CWG did a great job writing a believable island culture without turning into a James Michener 2.0. That's the beauty of fiction.

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In the end, this writer is one of the best on this site, and I appreciate the opportunity to read his stories and learn from his technique and style. 5++++++++/5 as always.

Oh, man.... Cee-Dubya-Gee now rises higher and higher! You perfectly captured the concept that "the most unendurable hell is the one we create for ourselves." We see it all around us, and unlike Mele, most creators of their own private hell are too busy blaming someone else to start the long climb toward daylight. Many of the angriest, most hateful commenters on this site are likewise self-consigned. The top score always for this writer. The only real feedback I have is to wonder why this professional quality writer deigns to cast his excellent pearls thusly. Thanks for writing this for us!

-TJY

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No way I go back there without a SEAL team backing me.

Fuck'em all. Both sisters to start with. Then seed the island with the deadly vipers I mentioned.

I give four stars. Probably deserves five.

Occurs to me Aleki/Alex knew what was going to happen and didn't warn him. Fuck her too. Tell her good luck with Pikachu. Adios all you fuckers. Good luck after I make enough money to come back and seed your island with rats and snakes. Fuck helping that island. All you creepy pagan fuckers can die.

Four stars because I can't give five stars to a story where I hate each and every character.

Sounds real !

@Scheanze1 you’re such a putz. We have less than no intetst in your rating of the story nor any interest in your broader hateful views. Like Puko, why don’t you just keep your loserness to yourself, seeing how threatening the world seems to be to you. You talk tough with your keyboard, but my bet is that you don’t last a week on that Island, Loser.

Briliant, notwithstanding the @Scheanze1 idiotic commentariat. Just brilliant and nuanced. What LPM said, so insightfully.

GOOD JOB!!!