by Fionavar
This was a nice story. It could use a touch of editing. Also, the abrupt detail in the second to last sentence was too random and divergent from the rest of the story. It was such a sudden and different tone, it almost ruined the story.
Had you completed the passion the man brought to this woman's forefront, the story would have been truly enjoyable. Ending it when the lady said she wanted to share her body with him, but he turned her down seemed insulting. Sorry but I could only make it a two rating.
Ever so close for both, yet neither finalized the needs each felt. Why?