All Comments on 'Beware of the Night Stalker Ch. 01'

Interesting plot, yet annoying delivery. Too much "he said/she said" and the pacing of character development and disclosure is hurried. The characters don't seem discerning, so all the sex lacks intensity. It's just a lot of sex without eroticism.

FYI 5'12" = 6'. All the over-the-top measurements and $$$ seem ludicrous and detract from the fantasy. There are ways to indicate largesse and size without stating exact figures. This story would benefit from a rewrite, perhaps even by giving yourself more time to elaborate on the details with use of adjectives.

I have to agree with the previous reviewer - it's an interesting plot, but the delivery didn't live up to the promise of the plot. To me, it seemed rushed - like you were cramming as much in as possible. Not a lot of plot development, indescriminant sex - I want to like the characters but right now they are just there. Please try again, I want to see what you can really do.

I think you can still continue with this story, just keep in mind the advice people have given you, but also, that this is your story, and you can write it, however you want it!

i'm loving the story so far. please add more to it! i would love to see what happens next!!

I can't wait for the next chapter, you are a genius!=D

I would like for more of this story to be uploaded please. It has a great start and I would like to see the progression of it. Waiting here for more please

excelent story looking forward to more.

Nice start but things are happening way too fast. Not the 'getting busy' part but all the 'I love yous'.

Just a thought!

Pls keep writing!

Okay, I was already fighting to keep reading the story when that shit about the two sisters having sex was revealed. What the phuq for?!? The story is supposed to be about a female’s run-in with a hybrid, not about two sisters experimenting with each other. Even with that shit turning me off I figured, phuq it, keep going and give the story another chance. Then her height was described and you said she was 5’ 12”. That’s 6’ tall! There’s no such thing as phuqing 5’ 12”! I’m out!