All Comments on ''Star Bound' Ch. 01'

It's an interesting world you've created here and definitely erotic but you might want to go over and proofread it. The spell checker won't distinguish differences such as their and there or buy and by for instance. Also editorial notes are not something you want in a published version, that's something you keep separate or in an appendix.

However, this one doesn't sound worth the effort!

I hate stories like this one where a the guy is middle aged and full of him self,I put my self in the story and I don't want to be a old man and I don't want to be a ahole like him

I like to put myself in the story 1 I don't like being a older man 2 I don't like being full of myself 3 I don't like being a villain and a asshole