All Comments on 'Laying Carpet with Mom Ch. 01'
by StClair
- 43 Comments
Nitehawk2Bearover 13 years agoWow. the work up to actually him fucking her is definately a turn on. Nice job in writing. I definately want to hear more of their experience together.
Anonymousover 13 years agobut,,,work on your spelling. and if this story is stolen, shame on you.
Anonymousover 13 years agoThere are plenty of editors willing to help you out. Make use of them.
digdaddyrichover 13 years agoIt would have been more realistic if they would have been 36-C. She wouldn't have looked in my mental picture, of a top heavy cow.
Overall a good storyline, and would like to read more of the sexual relationship between the two.
Hopefully it won't end when the husband comes home from his trip, and they spend the summer fucking each other and finding out how much they are going to miss each other when he goes off to school.
Anonymousover 13 years agoD is the cup size. The actual breast size. The 38 is the measurement of the rib cage under the breast. So she has a big chest cage. Makes her sound a little less feminine. Skip that and stick with the cup size. Also, this needed another read-through. There are several spelling errors and some grammatical errors. Put in some more dialogue when they are about to fuck. Make it more real and not just in his head.
Anonymousover 13 years agoYes there are some minor mistakes that editing will take care of. If you don't use an editor read the story aloud. You will find the mistakes that your eyes skim over when you read it silently.
In the future I would try to use more actual dialog, the way you did it felt clunky and a little unreal.
As for the stolen story, um.. how many ways can this be played out? The idea of mom/son sex is so pervasive that yeah there are bound to be stories that sound similar.
Keep up the good work.
Anonymousover 13 years agoPlease continue. Great story so far, lets see how far you can go with it.
RavenOnCaover 13 years ago- This was a definitely interesting story, not too quick and believable.
- Remember, this is literotica not pulitzer prize material....Don't know why everyone has to be the grammar and punctuation critics all the time.
Take the story for what it was meant to be....erotic and not pulitzer material.
Yes, the 38CC might have been a little over the top as well as the usual 8+ cock, but that seems to be the norm of all the stories on here of late.
Nevermind the nay sayers, good job, look forward to reading part 2
Dimmu_Borgirover 13 years ago<i>Don't know why everyone has to be the grammar and punctuation critics all the time.</i>
Because this is a site for story submission. Most serious writers try to submit decent material. Most readers like to see a writer that's proud of their work. I get tired of seeing nasty criticism and I also get tired of reading criticism of criticism. How dumb would it be if everyone gave a thumbs up to even the worst stuff posted on here? That's a bunch of <i>feel-good, can't we all get along</i> bullshit.
That said (as i catch my breath), the story wasn't bad. If it was plagiarized, then the author should acknowledge that because many long time readers will expose plagiarized material.
Also, quotations where people are speaking ("quotation") is necessary for the flow of a story.
End rant.
kathy2b46over 13 years agowonderful story , i agree believable , also sexy, erotic,hot and a turn on
i want more, i was so turned on i did not catch any mistakes
so don't worry about them
brujayover 13 years agoGreat story, but please review your story before posting it. If you did, then you need an editor who can catch your spelling and word usage mistakes.
Just as an aside, the sentence ending with "then licked it off her finger" seemed out of place with the rest of this sexy believable story. I guess it seemed slutty and not loving. Does that make any sense?
Keep writing. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Brujay
Anonymousover 13 years agoBut what a fucking stupid question, of course we want to hear about it.
Jokes aside, yes please submit the next part.
Anonymousover 13 years ago"her soft worm skin " - this is just one example of bad spelling and grammar that turns me off. If you can do a better job with the spelling and grammar I'm all for reading more. If the next chapter is going to be just as sloppy then forget it.
Anonymousover 13 years agoHowever, I ticked off over 14 errors and had not finished Chapter one. If you're interested pocking s/b poking. Bonner s/b boner. For example.
Some others may just be not slowing down to reread what you have typed.
But your creative skill is certainly visable.
Anonymousover 13 years agoForget all the comments about errors the story was great I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter.
Anonymousabout 13 years agohey, really great story. not absolutely unrealistic, i think that's what makes it so good. keep up the good work, can't wait for it to continue!
Anonymousabout 13 years agoYour creative sexy atmosphere devastated by horrible spelling, poor grammar and pathetic punctuation.
Work on these facets and you have a chance to write worthwhile erotica.
Anonymousalmost 12 years agoI would love to hrar more about ehat happend after the carpet was put down did the relationship kept going
Anonymousabout 11 years agoOther than some spelling mistakes, this was a very well written and structured story, very arousing. Would love to see the thread continue into a family threesome and have some hot anal action as well :). Good job!!!!
Anonymousabout 11 years agoWe need more of this author's ideas about boys sticking their young prick up their mother's sweet coochie and blowing their young balls up where they were once a little baby. The old saying is, "A mother's twat is her son's playground," and there are plenty of readers who love hearing about a boy making a great big puddle in his personal playground.
hornier_bastardabout 10 years agoA bit of constructive criticism... You're getting mixed up with some of the here vs hear type words (homophones)... I try not to be too much of a grammar cop, but it does detract from my enjoyment of the story when there/their/they're, here/hear, your/you're are mixed up... (particularly to/too/two, which you didn't have an issue with!)
that being said, it was a good start, and well worth continuing. Thank you!
Anonymousover 8 years agoCould of been a great story, but I will never know. I sighed when I read the 38DD and when you got to the obligatory 8 1/2" cock, I just stopped reading. Why do people have to spoil such a good promising story by thinking they have to exaggerate so damn much. Shame, probably would of liked it....but will never know.
Anonymousalmost 8 years agoplease write again we are thirsty
mrs kundan g parakh
Anonymousover 7 years agoI have to agree with the anonymous submission above about the overly big tidies and the 8 1/2 inch dicks. I've never seen so many writers with big dick phobias in my life. That crap totally ruins a story.
The old fart.
Anonymousover 6 years agoThis could of possibly been a good story, until you had to waste it with the 38DD and the 8 1/2 dick. Why do some people feel they need to exaggerate to make a story worth reading, when in most cases it turns people off more than on.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoProof read the spelling....many errors. Also, must we all have monster cocks and DD tit's?
Siodisover 5 years agoOther than a few typos, this story was amazing. Can't wait to see more!
Latinindulgementover 4 years agoBoy this story got Hot and so did I.. my pants wanted to explode too..made for a Great shower time..
Anonymousabout 4 years agoGood story. A bunch of words that (hopefully) spellcheck got wrong. Read your own work; better yet, have someone proof your writing.
StClair@StClair
