All Comments on 'Kane Ch. 01'

LOVE IT! Can wait to see how this story develops~

This is a great story !!!!!

I likeee! Please hurry and post the next chapter!

I like the detail that you include in this story. I do get a true feel for Carla, Kane and Ian. I see their surroundings and have a picture of them in my head. You're a good storyteller and a good writer. Thank you for sharing this. Five!

ok there was a lot of misstakes in this storey u need to find a editor that can help but so far so good

I'm in. Let's go!

Keep up the great work! Hunnybee, post a story before you have issues with someone else's work.

love kane and carla already!!!! more please!

I am not reading this kane or whatever untill u properly end ehtan!!!! PLUS I HAVE KANE AS A NICE VAMPIRE cOZ OF BLOOD OMEN 2

I love your female characters love love love

oie vsraju. this isnt an advertisement agency. if u want her stories look them urself. she did the hard work of writing them, now show some manners and do it urself

I am finishing Ethan. Chapter 13 is pending and Chapter 14 is in the works.

what is blood omen 2?

OK! I was really hoping your next story would be about Mason. He such a great charcter and I wanyt to see him find his mate. But I'm really liking Kane's story so far. I'm look forward reading more of this story and ofcourse Ethan.

Blood omen 2 is a computer game, where the protagonist's name is Kane. its a series in the legacy of kane. plus kane is a cool wrestler as well! And PleASE PLeASE give ethan the ending it deserves.

I'm really like this so far! Kane is super sexy (in my head, haha). Also, Carla's ex would have gotten the middle finger and a swift kick to the face, had I been in her shoes.

I'm really wondering if this going to be another story where the guy fucks up and in turn has to spend an extensive period of time trying to win the insecure girl over. I'm not trying to be offensive or anything, it's a genuine question. That's the vibe I'm getting from the story thus far.

Anyway, five stars dear.

no offense taken

i just realised that out of maybe 3-4 comments i wrote i forgot to write this.

nice story. i have this huge fascination when it comes to vampires and u have done nothing but raise them. Good story. 5 stars. Waiting for both ethan and kane next chapter.

It doesn't seem like Carla was really willing to put up with her ex's foolishness when wanting her to change things about herself, so her character doesn't come across as insecure. Except for her two friends, she does seem a bit of a loner/hermit though.

Why hasn't Ian manifested a need for blood like the baby twins in your other story?

In the beginning, I felt like the writing was rushed but it slowed down and picked up a steadier rhythm. I love your writing about vampires and I hope you keep it up!

P.S. Maybe one day you'll write about the vampire as a female ;)

the answer is in part 2 which is pending approval

You have a rare talent, I enjoy your thought process and how your characters blend so well together.I am so glad that you write on this site because you are able to write your story without people trying to make you jump through hoops. Please continuce to write. Thank you

I thought this chapter was neat-o. And I really love the fact that you mention the dark skin vs. light skin thing. the black community has a serious problem with it. As a light skinned black woman it makes me sick to my stomach that a person would through such measures as to bleach their skin so they can be approved by society, or win somebody's love or they don't like what they see in the mirror.

You know what, I might need to write a story about this.Thanks for the inspiration.

Keep writing Kal! We love you.

Nauti Nymph

You are back in the vampire field serving it up left, right, front and center. I am truly enjoying the Ethan series and now Kane. The manner in which the stories are paced offers enough substanance without feeling being rushed. Your gift as a storyteller is unique I hope that Ethan and Kane are the first of many in a possible vampire series.

To the story. I can't wait to read how Kane apologizes for his behavior and explains that he is a vampire and that their son is one too. Thanks

nuf said!

I loved this can't wait to read more

How can little Ian go in the sun without burning? like I know he went out into the sun right? hmmm wouldnt carla notice that?

Ian is part human, the sun doesn't affect him yet

This is my second time reading this story...it is such a well written story....I love it!

... Are your stories always so short on their explanations? As with, "Patrick," you skip from moment to moment, mention a conversation taking place without ever writing out the actual dialogue, just the cliff notes, and if it does take place it's very brief. Also, the love scenes are too rushed. There's no real build up or description that's detailed enough to draw the reader in and make them feel like they've actually entered into the world you've created. The characters and their storylines need to be developed. The way you jump from one moment to the next makes it difficult to get a feel for the story you're trying to tell. I like your ideas, but you can really use a good editor and maybe take more time to research the kind story you want to write and what characters are needed to complete them. You have major potential as a writer, but the lack of editing, construction, organization and details are hindering your work.

i cant even enjoy this story the plot is good but damn everything is sooooo fast i dont even want to continue

You have a lot of great material here, but you're moving too fast. A good editor, and more time to develop the story and its characters will help tremendously.