All Comments on 'Kissing My Angel Goodnight'

Usually i like most of your works but this one just had me hating every character in it but Page, and the constant abuse of saying Dale never fought for Sandra constantly restated by both Sandra and Tina I mean seriously he should love her enough to fight for her but she doesn't need to love him enough to fight for him. I mean seriously I'm feeling like I was born with the wrong genitalia(if you love me you'll fight for me/ if you love me you'll wait till I'm ready/ I'm not in the mood if you loved me you'd understand/ if you love me you'll let me do this/ etc.) any other guys feel seriously screwed over in life here... Let's see how many more times I can use the word seriously shall we.

Dale - is seriously wimped in this story because he even considers taking the slut back then he becomes psychopathic and kills Grayson and Sandra I mean really we have no reason to feel sympathetic towards him at all he only manages to have balls when he told Sandra when it happens marriage done.

Sandra - is the slut of sluts that keeps insisting she has no intelligence and can only follow commands like some kind of Rc car seriously her statement of " i can't control it" really got old since she said it like every time we saw her. She also had no love/respect for Dale because even after he told her they would be done if she did anything ( this sounds like a dom command to me) she still went behind his back and fucked/sucked Grayson firmly cementing that she won't accept her husbands commands

Tina - this bitch I seriously wanted to slap as she blames Dale for everything Sandra does wrong as well. Seriously it's like she is saying Sandra is a 3 year old child and you need to constantly hold her hand or she'll wander off ( who wants a wife like that anyway) not to mention I think a little warning would have been nice since supposedly her and the other sister Meg knew about Sandra being a doll that needed constant commanding.

Grayson - uber asshole ( seriously that's all I got for him)

Anyways as always nice writing SS and I look forward to next weeks work being a little more to my liking but even if it's not I'll read it so keep em coming cause your a talented writer ( and miko my offer still stands for holding SS down if you got the tattoo gun ready still )

First, thanks for the read, always look forward to your stories and this failed to disappoint. For me this lacked your usual humor and impish playfulness. Other than the guy buried at the toxic dump the chuckles were few and far between. Get well soon, a Faithful Reader.

this was a step above greatness thank you for another great story.

your best work yet. :)

No loving wife...or husband here. Funny how guys can separate sex from love when it comes to lusting after their daughter's hot friends, or their wife's hot friends, or their own buddy's hot wife or girlfriend. They can separate love from sex when some random hotty makes herself available while he's away on business...but if the wife has an affair, they suddenly can't separate it...or should I say...some guys can't.

I find these revenge stories to be utter trash. Nothing erotic or joyful about them. They appeal to the weak of mind...the fearful...the guy who fears losing his wife to a better man. They like these kinds of stories for a few reasons. As a warning to the wife. As a way of feeling empowered when in fact they are powerless.

My wife has never cheated and she hates me coming to porn story sites like this. I have learned that most wives dislike sites like these unless they are very sexually liberated. Very liberated.

I'm willing to bet that most of the guys who write stories like these have faithful wives who don't like his internet porn activities. Same for most who like these stories but hate the stories where the wife has permission from the husband to have sex with another guy.

I can tell you this. My wife and I truly love each other. Because we love each other so much, we would not even think about hurting or killing each other if we found out the other was cheating. We would fight for our relationship. Win the other person back. Show the interloper that they are not the better choice.

Sorry but I simply can't stand these revenge stories. IMHO they belong in the fetish or BDSM section. There's nothing loving about a revenge story.

How long before some psycho kills his cheating wife and then credits one of these stories as his inspiration while he sits on death row?

But this is the most powerful short story I've ever read. I don't think I've ever cried at a book. This was a wonderful story...

This story is one of them . It is just wrong, so wrong I'm dumbfounded as to where to start. Yet what's more wrong is I knew it would end in tears but couldnt / wouldn't move on to a story that's more cut to my jib.

I was warned -,and so cannot complain except against the author's ability to weave a web of words. There's no conciousable choice but to mark , strike & award a full five stars. Excuse me. Believe I need & deserve a drink after this un'' ! A double , in fact .

Dr slapped his behind, said you're gonna be special

Fuckin A, what a crazy story. Well done. Extreme in so many ways. Fun to read. Sad, funny, thoughful, and most of all, weird. Well done!

This one just sucked me in. I didn't want to like it. Like you warned, it was dark. There were raw painful emotions. It reeked of jealousy, hate, lust. murderous rage. But I swear, it was like driving by a horrible accident. You are just compelled, against your better judgement, to look. I even did the rare honor of giving it the full five star salute. This one will be in my head for awhile.

Finally a 5 star story. Wow.

those cant ruin a life, lack of communication can and will. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thank You.

Well, this is a great tale of serious emotional depth. You handled the dialogue beautifully and developed your characters far beyond cookie cutter personalities or caricatures. One small criticism, however: I think you should have left out Sandy's point of view. The ideas expressed there could also be introduced into the story through Tina. I think, this culd have made the story still a bit more homogeneous.

Thanks a lot for your weekly contributions, but this one was outstanding!

Another great story! You have a lot of talent, I'm sure I'm not the only one who looks forward to your stories. Your efforts are very much appreciated, that goes for you too Mikothebaby!

Good tale, dark and hard, would never happen this way, But a damn good read.

As always a good job.

I was all set to grouse about how could the guy who not only got multiple nut shots, but also busted his collarbone could still carry on like a one man gang bang, or even just a virile one man show. Never once minding the uncastable, unsplintable support bone that no longer supported little things like his upper body during vigorous, uh... exertions. All set, then you hit me with a one two punch, first it was mostly all a bluff, and second it was a S-T-O-R-Y. Foiled again. Drat!

This story held me in suspence for the whole seven or eight pages, I was so afraid he would take the slut wife back. Unfortunately you did borrow from the bitch writers by trying to make it the man's fault. (I suggest you quit listening to DQS). Sandy never said that she needed Dale's support in resisting Grayson, she informed him she was going to go fuck the guy and Dale would just have to "understand." BULL SHIT! When the wife says she's gonna go fuck somebody else, most men would ditch the bitch, although there are those that would "understand," and hang around eating cream pie. I'm reminded of my brother who almost married a stupid bimbo that couldn't say no to an alpha male. Although she looked a lot more like Page than Sandy, and they loved each other as much as a pair twenty three year olds can, he realized, while she can be a great fuck buddy, you just don't marry that, and spend the rest of your life in fear of alpha males. Unfortunatly Dale was unaware of her problem with the "No" word. I believe Sandy or her sisters should have explained her malfunction and her past to Dale way before they got married. Secondly if Sandy really loved him, there is no way some smooth talking Dick could slip her between the sheets, because all she has to say is; "That guys bothering me" and let Dale handle it, rather than; "I'm probably going to let that guy fuck me, please try to deal with it."

All your heaven and hell bible thumping is really lame, and portraying Dale as being so needy that he can't love the nearly perfect wife is just unbelievable, as well as stupid.

It is a fact of life that there are people in this world that really need to die, and it is no sin to make the world a better place by helping them on their journy to a "better place." People like Grayson are a waste of air, and are destined to run afoul of an irate husband, and Sandy was a stupid slut, who hooked up with the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sucks to be her (literally).

But for the most part I enjoyed this story, and dispite the length it read very easily and enjoyably. Although not a five star it sure came close.

and not enjoyable, but well written and interesting! If you keep writing like this, some of us will stop reading you. On the other hand you might just graduate to being a professional writer. Thanks for all your hard work!

That is the longest and deepest comment that I have ever seen from Zed0!

You may not have killed any 302 Bosses , but it was contemplated. A Sin for sure.

One of the commentators remarked that this story lacked your usual wit and humor.

I thought the George Costanza reference qualified.

A good read, well written, and hats off to mikeothababy's editing.

The funniest line on Literotica : She had him buried in a garbage bag, in an unmarked grave on a toxic waste site that she owned.

I actually like the vindictiveness in the plotting of revenge by Dale and I thoroughly agree with zed0 in basically everything he wrote. I would not blame Dale at all for what he did especially the way his wife approached the situation, how she shits on their love just based on her submissiveness crap and how her will is no match for the alpha-maleness of the douchebag. Seriously how do you expect your SO to 'fight' for you, when you're not even willing to fight for yourself.

Well, thought the story was interesting, though the bible-thumping and the fact that Dale wants to blame and punish himself were seriously annoying.

Dark but amazing story. I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the great work. ^__^

7 pages of this crap? The husband had this tape on his iphone for Days and days ... in all his conversations with Tina the cunt whore wife's sister ... he NEVER plays it.

not until the end of the story. WHY?

why do we have to go through 7 pages of this shit when anyone with a brain would of played the tape for Tina on page 3?

Even worse... IF Tina really believes her sister is mentally ill.... if she really believes Sandy is this fucking needy out of control irrational and crazy

THEN

'

WHY THE FUCK SHOUD ANYONE BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE THIS MENTALLY UNTSABLE !!!???

An awful waste of time

No more questions Your Honour.

a great story - thanks for sharing it.

This story was deep...very deep.

You certainly know how to keep a reader reading, which in a way I guess justifies your writing. BUT....although Grayson may deserve the punishment meted out to him, Sandy didn't......For God's sake, she was SICK. She had pleaded with the man who claims to have loved her to help (something he didn't even consider, even discuss). In this country, we don't give the death penalty to people who are multiple killers if they are mentally incompetent. The best thing I can say about the husband- killer is that he is an unthinking, stupid son of a bitch who deserves every bit of unhappiness he wakes up with (and none of the good things like children and loving wife). Shit...he made the woman he is now living with an accomplice to murder!

It is so good to see you back Harry, I've missed you mate. Don't worry...Dwthedoorknob has been keeping your seat warm while you've been walkabout.

Least now we can get back to sane pathetic drivel instead of the moronic stuff the twerp doorknob's be sprouting.

Ohhh BTW,..I enjoyed the story Mr Stang...do you actually work or is all your time taken up writing these weekly gems???

Amanda

Too bad yu gave the ending away as I went from page 1 to 7 and 8.

Just fabulous. It is awesome how you were able to convey the emotions.

Don't condone murder either. But, they were torturing him emotionally and everyone has a limit.

Felt great sympathy for the wife. That's due to the way you wrote her.

Another SS06 masterpiece. So dark, so poignant, so sad, yet so very satisfying. The background, and characters were great. The remote controlled vehicles of death; brilliant. I could see the paper you wrote this on get folded into the vision of a submissive angel named Sandy; her devastated husband at the final fold lighting the fire sending his fallen angel, and the devil incarnate to oblivion.

Yet his desire and regret for her and his deed so intense that he would take his life to join her there.

The fates had other plans sentencing him to life with a woman he cannot love, a family that should never have happened, and a daughter whose name will constantly remind him of his loss. A fitting punishment for this man who didn't know the real woman he married.

Still, the underlying theme with this story is communication. When two committed souls can't or won't talk, stories like this can sadly become real.

I've said it before, I wish I had one-tenth of your imagination, and skill when I write.

Thank you!

I admit it. I was screaming at these two like Tina, trying to stop this train wreck.

I understood his point of view, but in her weakness, I still felt some sympathy for the stupid bitch too. I could feel the frustration oozing out of Tina as these two JUST DIDN"T GET IT!

And I TOTALLY understood what he meant when he knew from the one glance that it was over. I felt that

So if screaming and an emotional reaction is what makes a good story, then it was.

The prologue sort of defeated a lot of the build up in tension. And I think that the 'ownership' thing was a bit overplayed.

There were all the Stang elements, but they were played with a light hand. The stang was mentioned, but never once did I think when he used the term 'putting it up the tail pipe' was he literal. The fugly girl...okay...standard. The hot momma but he didn't love her, which was enough of a twist that I liked it.

Sorry. I should be as gracious as you. It is longer, faster and better then what I write. So why are you listening to me again? You shouldn't.

I'm going to open this with a response to the individual who claimed to be unable to understand why "revenge" tales seem to be so popular. My guess would be that this individual is (luckily) HAPPILY married to a woman who is as faithful to him as he is to her. Thus, he's never experienced the cruelties that can arise when fickle human nature combines with our current divorce-court system.

As human beings - at least in Western societies - we have a basic sense of morality that defines what is right and wrong, what is just and unjust. If someone commits an offense, he or she should be made to pay, and the offended person should be given compensation.

That's not the case in Western divorce courts.

If a man cheats on his wife, and she divorces him, the courts typically award her what amounts to "punitive damages". She gets half his assets, including any sort of retirement package (pension, 401-K, IRA, or whatever) that he's accumulated. She usually gets the house, though on rare occasions she DOES have to buy his half from him. If her income is less than 90% of his, she gets alimony. If there are kids, she gets the house and he gets ordered to keep on making the mortgage payments as well as alimony and child support.

If the wife cheats on her husband, and either one files for divorce, virtually the exact same set of conditions ensue - thanks to the courts - and so he can either continue to live with the cheating slut and let her take him to the cleaners while she destroys what little is left of his self-respect, or he can divorce her and get taken to the cleaners but at least keep his self-respect.

The situation is NOT fair to the cheated-upon male spouse, and the courts - for some unknown reason - see no reason to amend their actions. That leaves one hell of a lot of cheated-upon husbands feeling rather bitter. These tales of revenge at least give us a vicarious outlet for those frustrations. Even though the characters are fully fictional, we can at least "cheer" when some lucky guy manages to stick it to his cheating slut wife and her paramour.

Now, on to the story. We were warned that it was dark, and that those of us who liked happy endings should perhaps look elsewhere for our reading pleasure. Part of that statement, at least, was a bit of a fib on StangStar06's part, since the story really DID have a fairly happy ending for Dale and Page.

To those who insist that Dale was wrong in his actions - in his not initially fighting for Sandy's continued faithfulness, I submit that you are wrong. Dale had no knowledge of Sandy's REAL problem, because she had totally withheld that part of her past from him. In any real loving, trusting relationship, there should be no secrets - and Sandy's failure to disclose her weakness was nobody's fault but hers. At the very least, when she found Grayson coming on to her, she should have told Dale every part of the situation and the problem. Had Dale known her true weakness, he no doubt would have acted differently, and the rest of the story never would have come to pass.

There ARE, however, two major problems with this story. The first is Dale's final comments on eventually winding up in Hell for the double-murder. The context of the comments indicate that Dale's "understanding" of "God" is apparently based on Protestant / Catholic religious doctrine, and therefore Dale should be aware that the singular foundation of both religions provides for a very simple way for him to avoid Hell. I won't say more, lest someone take offense.

The other major problem lies in the story's time-line. On the night of the murder, one of the last things that Dale does is check on the iPhone app that is keeping track of those four rigged "heaters" in the motel room. Once satisfied that all four are functioning as planned, Dale hooks his JAILBROKEN iPhone to his PC, pulls up iTunes, and restores the FACTORY settings, thus eliminating any trace of the deadly app's ever existing. Restoring an iPhone to "factory settings" is the same thing as totally re-formatting the hard-drive of your computer and then re-installing the operating system (Windows, Mac, or your favorite "flavor" of Linux) from the install discs. Everything that WAS on the unit gets wiped clean, and then written over by the re-install of the operating system and factory-installed applications that are on the install discs.

Yet, the following afternoon - when Tina and the police show up to inform Dale of Sandy's demise - he is able to grab his iPhone and play back that last recorded conversation between himself and Grayson, with Sandy's snarky comments in the background? If the iPhone was wiped and re-set, that recorded conversation ought to have been erased and, thus, unavailable for replaying.

Oh - to the folks who thought that the StangSter's usual "humor" was missing from this story? I saw that at least ONE reader recognized "George Costanza" from "Seinfeld". Personally, I'm wondering if Stang made a minor typo error with the "Hiro Takemura" character, as there was a "Hiro Nakamura" (Masi Oka) among the cast of "Heroes". The amazing thing was that nobody - at least, thus far - has noticed "Richard Grayson" as "Dick Grayson", AKA "Robin, the Boy Wonder", in the "Batman comics, films, and TV series!

Give me a break, some people who are TRUELY Mentally Ill, have an excuse. I think this submissive personality stuff is a crock of SHIT! Everyone has free will. She chose not to exercise it. She chose to break her marriage vows. I honestly believe most of that Physo-Babble is just that, BABBLE! It was invented by Liberal assholes to give worthless pieces of shit an excuse. Even if it's a REAL condition and she KNEW she had it, WHY did she not get help before? Why didn't her LOVING Sister make her get help? Probally because she didn't NEED an EXCUSE before! Save your sympathy for those who are TRUELY ILL and deserve it. (Of course you know where you can find Sympathy? In the dictionary between Shit and Syphliss.)

As for Star MAN! Good tale!

that piece of shit radical conservative is blaming the liberals even in a story. give it up asshole- this is a porn site, not a political forum

Well written as usual, but as you stated in your intro a bit dark. Unfortunately in cases of adultery, nobody wins and nobody did. Keep writing but lets lighen it up next time, please.

you either are or are not joined together. the wife in this story chose her path, if she was insane that was never given to him to work with, so be it. I guess she would have to be insane you dont treat a person you love like she did her husband. Sorry i dont get it as dark, taking those two out of the world solved both of their mental issues and made the world a better place.

Well SS06 you have given me another story to enjoy and I did. I really like to read a good story and you always give me one, Thank You for another great Stang Tale.

I'm just new here but I have read all your stories and I really enjoy them. I'm your fan! Stang, you really have a way of making me feel the inner thoughts and emotions of your characters! Truly, it's really a "dark" story as you have said earlier. Hey, isn't it that all divorce stories are all dark? I hope that in your next story you will write something "bright" as in opposing a "dark" story -- but not making somebody a wimp! Looking forward for your next story! Keep it up!

Aren't you a writer here on Lit? <p>

I didn't know you're also some sissy closet Conservative Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggard, Jim Baker Hypocritcal Evangelical type. Until now. <p>

You aren't bright enough to know it, but let me try to explain, in a few words the difference between a Liberal and a evangelical Conservative Christian: <p>

A Liberal is SIMPLY someone who BELIEVES all people --- whether they are Liberal, Independent, Communists, Conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, poor, rich, Black, White, Asian or whatever --- have the RIGHT to do as they please. <p>

An Evangelical Conservative Christian is some idiot who believes his 2nd grade Fairy Tale Book PROHIBITS people from engaging in immoral thoughts, beliefs, and activities. That is, but NOT HIM. With him, he could be some holier than thou empty-headed idiot and dressed in women underwear and engage in sexual acts with women AND MEN as he secretly craves but do them in hiden places, thinking nobody'd know... <p>

That's BROADLY the difference between an (Atheist) Liberal and a (Christian) Conservative.

It was a dark, and stormy night (sorry couldn't resist). It was a dark one SS but as usual totally entertaining. Thanks again for Sharing your stories here!

Please put the commentary in a postscript. This would eliminate both regular spoilers and misleading spoilers. No Mustangs, real or imaginary, were harmed in this story and the petition for divorce was abated by death - so how is this not a happy ending?

But I'd appreciate if you just knocked all the political crap off the comments. This isn't about politics. We have our opinions. You want to air them? Write a fucking story!

Comment are about insulting Dworknob and Harry....hold on a second (muttered whispers) Are you sure? (Whisper)

Okay. The comment section is to insult Dworknob and Harry AND to actually comment on the story....or so I've been told.

Another Thursday gem. There is so much to like in this sad story. It is tragedy in the true sense of the word: Dale and Sandra are doomed by their own flaws. All that is left to the reader is to admire their struggle to defy fate.

One thing I admire about your work is that you are not afraid to make your characters imperfect. The garden variety LW hero is almost a caricature of the perfect man, creative and all-knowing with the skills of a navy seal and the handyman abilities of MacGyver. Your characters make mistakes - only some of which they are aware of - and often regret their actions.

Thank you.

Oh, can we agree to stop the political axe grinding from both sides? There are a million forums where people can work out those issues.

That you spared the 302. I had a 1968 302 Boss convertible. Still love the memories.

I think this was one of the best stories you have written. Maybe a little too much detail in the middle chapters about how much Sandy loved him and how she couldn't control herself, but it all fit in the story. My favorite line was this:

"She had him buried in a garbage bag, in an unmarked grave on a toxic waste site that she owned."

Simply great, although not quite legal, but then again who is going to tell.

I really like that Stang is trying to stretch and break the molds of LW stories. This dark take was great. I was really empathetic to Dale and the feeling that he should have to fight to keep his wife. The mental disorder she had made me dubious but as a plot device it made this story all the more tragic. Thanks for the story.

Dale has nothing to feel bad about. Grayson a d Sandry both deserved to die and if I were a judge I would have absolved him of any crime. Tina is a dumb cunt trying to place the blameon Dale for not fighting for Sandy, well helol if the bitch loved him like she said she did he wouldn't have to fightfor her and she would not have spread her legs and let that aqsshole stick his cock in her and fill ehr belly with his sperm. News flash I would feel any guilt about Sandy's death and I'd damn sure love Paige for all she was worth

Not your usual type of story but very well written as always. Keep them coming

This has got to be one of your darkest yet. I also think its one of your best dimply for the miscomunnicaton and failure to deal with life these 2 characters have. Real life is not simple black and white and this story, for me, seems to more acurately reflect this than some of your others. In real life people, even spouses, can hear the words of thr other person but get the wrong meaning. In some cases , especialy in guments, people can intentionly misinterpret what the other person is sayi. Thus driving an even bigger wedge between them. At least thats how some of the dialog came out to me. Tanks to miko too for your influence on stangs stories.

It's dark alright, but very compelling. Stang, keep writing the good stuff!!

Sure, the writing is terrific, but the story lacks a cohesive story line. Too much of the first part of the story and characters are sped through sketchy and absurd development...not up to your usual standard.

You cannot be fucking serious.

..

I dont think my questions are unreasonable: First if TINA really believes that her sister cannot live without her husband ... while the wife gets fucked in every Hole know to humainty...

then the wife is not mentally fit to be married. I mean she doesnt even see why the husband *** MIGHT *** be upset.

This is Just a bad overly long drawn out story... and having Tina scream at the husband in page after page after page when he had this tape available... I Just dont get it.

I am not saying he HAD to play the tape early in the story.... I am asking why did he wait so long while Tina the the shrew shrieked and screamed at HIM and only him??? .

He loves the woman more than anything in the world is quite rich but doesn't want to have kids with her, doesn't know that she has some mental problems, doesn't fight for his wife(or can't be bothered to fight) when she first tells him about Grayson, stops talking and making love to her and acts like a little bitch.

Why does Sandy's family not treat he like theworthless peoce of sjit that is after he emails them the video of Sandy and Grayson? Why doesn't Grayson sue Dale for the assault and injury to his balls and why doesn't he try to get revenge(physically not mentally)?

Why does Sandy continue to see grayson after he tell her how ugly and unattractive she is?

How can Dale tell us he loves Sandy and then murder her for no other reason that he isn't man enough to actually fight Grayson in a fair fight.

Last point what's the point of him complaining about Page but not having the balls to commit suicide? It just makes him look like a bigger coward than we already knew he was.

Oh and if he is so rich and successful why is he driving a mustang? They are cheap, drive poorly, and are only for men with small dicks.

Worst story you've written.

Anonymous needs to try real hard to pull his head out of his ass and try sucking his own dick...

Sad but well written.

The whole theme of submission and domination may be not my piece of cake, but nevertheless I enjoyed your writing.

5*

I hope Stangstar06 that you are not leaving the "Loving Wives" category and moving into the "Snuff" category. If so, I will miss reading your stories.

This story had most all of the makings of a "cuckold" story. Think about it, this story had the mean spirited and/or stupid wife. And it had the weak little husband who wasn't strong enough to walk away and get on with his life. He does get the opportunity to beat the crap out of the shithead lover, and that was a plus. Rather than forcing the husband to take the slut wife back, you have the him "man down" and murder the lover and the wife. What a wimpy thing to do. And it only took 7+ pages.

Also, the whole scenario of the wife being sucked in by some irresistable (almost seeming to be supernatural) forces put upon her by a shit head lover that she can't say "no" to is just tired and worn out. I agree with someone else in the comments here who called it pyscho-babble. She just wanted Grayson to fuck the hell out of her and she wanted her husband to be ok with it.

If an author feels an obligation either at the beginning or the end of a story to write notes to his/her readers trying to explain his/her motivations about why or how they wrote the damn thing, the reader has to wonder whether the author believes the story can stand on its own or whether the author wonders if his readers can understand it. It was a dark story. So what?

And like someone else said, lose the religious allegory stuff.

Finally, I really do appreciate the weekly stories and I have enjoyed most of them. Occasionly however, they seem like they have been forced a little bit. This one felt that way to me and the last one did as well.

Thanks for your stories.

MissouriUSA

And, like JPB, he will occasionally write an astonishingly great story. Not so much lately though.

Stang you write very well. You really do. I like your style and the way you develop characters. Your downfall, for me, is your plots.

Any plot where the hero (male or female) is wimpy is a non starter for me. With his money he could easily have left the area and delt with the cheating slut through his attorney.

And, putting up with the incredibly stupid sister was just over the top. Like many other commenters I can't understand why he didn't clue everyone, including the sister, in to what was going on behind the scenes. From the first time Greyson pushed his cock into her cunt, she was history, why delay the announcement that vindicates him to everyone?

Okay, so he killed the bitch. I don't think death was the best solution. I like the idea of her suffering for the rest of a long life as he lives well and long with his new love.

And that's another thing. What's with this undying love crap for a cheating slut? Anger can snuff love in a blink.

In my opinion one of, if not the best story you have written for us. Blew me away dude. Really impressed with your talent for creating stories that suck me in and take me for more then the usual LW fare that abounds here. Thank you.

It seems like a 50/50 split Love/Hate. I personally like your stories.

and hope you continue to write. as for this story it was well written and the way Sandy allowed herself to be used against Dale brings No Pity. She got what she wanted Controled and Dead.

One of your best. So me people don't like your stories but I do. As a writer you try to entertain us and you do a very good job of it. Keep it up.

anon tried sucking his own dick but your lips were wrapped around it so tightly he couldn't manage...

If a man or woman genuinely loves their spouse, respects their spouse and treats their spouse as an equal, then the spouse should NEVER have to fight for his/her affections. Once you say "I Do", you from then on either "Do" or you don't. No man or woman can ever compete with third party who is new and exciting. A truly loving wife should not expect her husband to "fight for me," unless the third party is trying to use force.

P.S. - murder was way over the top, abandoning both the wife and lover to their pathetic future would have been justice.

This is my first day on this site. I normally read stories somewhere else but I was tired of reading holiday themed stories. So I open this one and I will be back. This may be the best story I've ever read but these comments ruined it. Is it always like this? Some of them have nothing to do with the story at all. Why are they talking about politics and religion? And some of them are just stupid. I"ve noticed that most of the comments are from men. So we women haven't cornered the market on silly gossip. Lighten up guys like he said in the end of the story no one actually died and it was a story. It's not the cure for cancer or a way to bring world peace it's a free Internet romance story. How do I get my name to show up?

Your writing continues to improve and that is a rare thing. I enjoyed this one for all of its dark and twisted plot....wait, that is why I enjoyed it. It was different and for what it set out to be, it succeeded well.

Michael

SS06,

As usual an excellent story and thought provoking as well. I wonder if the "hero's" success in his second marriage was due to the fact that he loved Sandy and continued to. The reason his second W gave for dumping so many guys was that they were infatuated with her and did nothing but effectively slobber over her. While, her new love really did not love her at all but did treat her well.

Nevertheless, it was a new idea, well told, and sad just as the author intended. Can't do much better than have a story do what the author intended. EXCELLENT

thanks SS and miko,this had a different twist to it no doubt,but was another well done story, and the peeps that have the thumbs down,well some people write great stories like this one and others have to have something to complain about to make themselves feel better i suppose , thanks again, great read nathan,ga.

Thanks to all of you who commented on my editing and/or for asking SS06 to do some thing darker than normal. We try to stay away from the boxed in plots that are so rampant on this site and give people new story lines and new plots. Not easy to do if you think about it. Loving wives really gives you a limited genre to begin with. I actually think that SS06 does a great job of coming up with a different twist week after week. Some that I have read on here use the same story time again just changing the names of the characters and the geological area. We strive to give readers a fresh plot and story line week after week. hugs to you all

For me this is one of your stronger stories--I stayed with it all the way through and felt it deeply. Very powerfully written and involving.

There are issues with plausibility, and these always bother me--if I can't suspend disbelief long enough to get through the story, that's a problem for me. In this case, Sandy told him nothing about her submissive personality or past sexual life--why the hell not? And why, for that matter, did she not tell him about it once the crisis began? I know that her silence was necessary for the story to go forward (just as was the delay that Harry is infuriated about in his playing his iPhone video for Tina), but things like that weaken my belief in the story.

Nonetheless, this is in many other ways a great story.

Thanks,

ohio

The following is just a personal opinion, not a criticism of the story. I know this is fiction, and that different people (real or not) would make different choices according to their own opinions and beliefs.

So just to verbalise it, I can't accept that the protagonist was just in an 'alpha male battle' and that Sandy was just a victim. I think he did the only thing he could have and kept his self-respect.

In his early sentiments upon Sandy's revealing the existence of the antagonist, Dale responds:

"Number one, I shouldn't have to fight for you", and,

"I looked into your eyes when you were telling me how much he wanted you, earlier tonight. And what I saw there almost killed me. If I had to fight that bastard, I probably would. But the fact of the matter is that you want him too. So in the end I'd just be fighting both of you."

He also goes on to say later, when she brings up the possibility of just moving away, ""What good would that do?" I asked. "No matter where we move to there'd always be some other guy that you couldn't resist."

In these statements, Dale speaks logically and from my perspective, the truth of the matter.

Should any person have to move away to stop his or her partner from betraying them? Should any person, male or female, have to accept their position in the food chain if their loving partner decides that they want something from somewhere else, outside of the deal?

Society is such that people are now let off the hook. People make vows, PROMISES, and then a few months, years or decades down the line they change their mind for whatever reason, and society lets them off scot-free, or if not scot-free, with a lion's share of the spoils, even when it is they who may be to blame.

Well, for myself, society is nothing more than the collective of the elements who make it up. And for me, if one promises loyaly, honour, respect and love IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SAME, then if one expects such conditions one had better stick to those same conditions.

These are promises that an individual makes. That person is saying, this is who I am, and who I will be, and what you can expect of me.

For me, if you break those promises, all bets are off.

And in this story, that's what happened.

Guess what... sometimes in real life, betrayals that occur result in consequences just like in this fictional account. And guess what else... whining about how evil a person is who responds this way... and how evil I must be for justifying it... will not undo the result in the end.

So guess what, kids? Maybe people should think twice about the consequences of their own actions before they go about breaking the promises they have made themselves.

And if anybody has a problem with my perspective, I really don't give a squirt.

Sorry about sermonizing.

Believe it or not, SS, I really did like the story. I appreciate your efforts, as well as your editor.

Dan

I also think this was one of your better stories. Five Stars - buy your editor a nice present for Christmas!

Sounds like a case of self defense. Fire crotch would have tried her carving skills on him sooner or later. Good one.

Also compelling. You said "dark" and you got there. Very nice to see you taking off in different directions, though I can't say I "enjoyed" the story.

As to characterization, I'm very glad I don't have Dale as a friend. There's nothing in screwing another guy that makes your soon-to-be-ex-wife a valid target for deadly violence.

I might make the case for "weeding" Grayson from the garden. But by the time he planned and executed the attack, Dale knew Sandy was another victim. No reason to take her back, but there was no justification in killing her, either. Way over the top, in fact.

That said, like Montresor, he was a compelling character who kept my interest.

This is probably one of your best stories, and it is dark and powerful. Thank You.

if she explain to her husband about her submissive the start with a lot wouldn't happen.

Great.

shit, man, WOW. Very sad and powerful story with a great massage, I'll go home and give extra TLC to my wife.

Well, this story is going to bring out the trolls on both sides. It has something for everyone to dislike.

A “wife” who is easily dominated by a “player”

A “husband” who refuses to fight for the wife

A over-the-top revenge that definitely meets the “torch the bitch” levels

The husband getting a dream wife, but not living happily ever after

Too many uses of the “why didn’t you fight for me” motif

And that’s just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Its pretty clear that this story is going to bring a lot of controversy, from the unappealing characters to the sad ending.

But…

It’s also one of the better stories I’ve seen Stang write. For the first time in a while he actually appears to consider the conflict and has the characters living the conflict fully rather than barely touching on it.

That doesn’t mean I liked the characters or the overall plot. Personally I found a lot in this story that just plain annoyed me, but I have to applaud the effort and the skill. Stang has written a story that will cause people to think and talk. There will be controversy about the characters, from questions about how Sandy could have functioned at all based on the descriptions of how submissive she is/was, to people who feel that Dale should have been punished for his act of revenge.

On that, I could almost write another story. I liked the writing skill and the characters are interesting, but they are also easy to hate and difficult to like. It wasn’t so much the darkness of the story, but rather the fact that the overall character development remains one area I believe Stang could improve. He appears to like characters with only minimal depth and definition. In this story both Page and Grayson almost scream for more development, although I have to admit that Stang put more effort into them than he has in earlier stories.

Page is described as a playboy quality body with a habit of dumping men and being nasty afterwards, but once Dale starts dating her she becomes almost Stepford in her devotion to him. The only reason we are given is that Dale doesn’t try to get close quickly, but it still is only 2 dates before Page has decided to make him her husband. Fast, and lacking in substance. Love at first sight exists, but this is more love when the lust demon doesn’t have the man pressuring her. It seemed that Page is simply the “gorgeous rebound girl.” who shows up in so many torch the bitch stories. I’d like to have seen her defined a bit more clearly.

Grayson is even more clichéd and flat. He starts out as the big ex-football lineman type who can get any girl to remove her panties and lie down. And the funny thing is he’s never anything more than an arrogant user. It comes out that his wife has the money and he’s merely a gigolo. Then while still appearing to have control over Sandy he demands $50K to get out of Sandy and Dale’s life. That made absolutely no sense to me. If he was as experienced a player as Sandy mentions during her segment of the story he’d have understood that some men walk away, and that once they do his antics would actually be counterproductive. Why call up a man you plan to demand $50K from and brag about what you are making his wife do? Can anyone really believe that he’d have a chance of getting money after that call? And how could any relative believe he’d come into money soon. He had a pre-nup with his wife and stood to gain little to nothing in a divorce, and Dale had made sure that Sandy had little to no access to their money. Until/unless Sandy pushed the divorce he had no income source and little chance to get any.

And I won’t even start with the “fight for her” nonsense, at least not here. That argument has never made any sense to me.

I appreciate the efforts SS06. Thanks for continuing to write, you do it well. Why those that choose to spew sometimes personal garbage about what they can't do themselves (write and do it well) slays me. So you don't like it, just don't go crazy complaining about it...

An odd story, but a good one. It was a good marriage, yet they had no communication...odd

stuck up bastard that got everything that he deserved.

Sandy, Dale, Tina, Grayson, and Page. All of them are barking mad. Sandy babbles insanely throughout the story. Dale careens back and forth between loving and hating and being an Alpha male to match Grayson. Tina says her sister is nut but wants Dale to enable her craziness by taking her back. Grayson is a completely amoral Alpha male wanna be that is actually completely dependent on his wife and ends up testicularly constipated. That's actually pretty funny. Page can't find a guy who sees her for anything but a pair of tits and is a terror at work, something that Dale seems to think she should be punished for??? Page also seems to have big Daddy issues. Almost all the conversations and actions are based on their collective insanity. I have no problem with murder as part of a story if it is integrated as part of the story. Dale has to murder Sandy because she belongs to Grayson. WTF?? The whole story was like this, inane and illogical conversations. Frankly StangStar, I am awed by your ability to keep your head so twisted for 8 pages of a story. Were you stoned or drunk while you wrote? Amazing. The characters are well developed and consistent in their insane behavior.

In the end I can't say I liked it or disliked it. It was too weird to pin it down. Weird enough to almost like. I was glad it was over. I don't like any of the characters. Lewis Carrollesque?

A few paragraphs later....

'She changed her cell phone number so he couldn't call her. He doesn't know where I live. '

Otherwise, great story.

SS06,

Through a Glass Darkly or Dark N'Stormy Night some closures aren't complete, but this was a "story" and close the comment with Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

---Kinda reminds of Jim Morrison

5 pages I am just tired of reading the religious bs. zero and I go

When he decided to go all Thelma and Louise I thought he might locate the perfect cliff then spend some time waxing and reminising with his 302 Boss and decide he just could not do it. Drives back to a gas station he passed on the way there, talks to a young man who owns the station. Gives him the car the drives off the the Cliff on the guys dirt bike. Best part is the 302 Boss gets a sequal and maybe a little more character development to better satisfy the need for Deroit enhanced fantasy some of us have. Thats right, I read your stories for the cars. Can't wait for the next one!

to much revenge and hate. for her weakness he commits murder.. very sad..no justice. he goes on,she is buried. she told him, he let her go without a fight what a man, who loved his wife.. just doesnt not work for me.. he gets away with murder, some men do kill to get ride of there wifes but this story is not what i would expect from stangstar6

No LW story can work without it.

Maybe someone will prove me wrong someday?

I liked it. I knew two names from here. George Costanza and Dick Grayson. If the other names had meaning it was lost on me. It is nice to see murder in a story, not just because it is the ultimate torching of the whore, but because it does happen. Kudos to SS06 for using something from real life,even if the m o was a bit hoky. Always a treat to read your stories.

I'll be the one to point out that a writer can twist and turn the story any way they want, but it isn't fair to suspend the laws of chemistry and physics. Not even poetic license let's a writer get away with that. That's kind of basic.

It isn't just difficult to get CO from an electric heater. It's fucking IMPOSSIBLE. Not even a very small amount. CO comes from incomplete combustion. Electric heaters don't combust, i.e. burn, anything. They just give off radiant heat. Nothing is burning, oxidizing, so there is no possibility of any CO. And what the hell are micro-heaters?

Anyway, interesting story. I won't point out that there can't be a story from Sandy's POV, narrated by Sandy, when she dies at the end of her narration. Most stories that tell the same thing from two different perspectives completely waste the readers time because nothing new that advances the story is revealed the second telling. But I won't get into that by pointing it out.

. . . the asshole being buried in a garbage bag.

This story would have made sense if the author had stated the following assumptions

1. Husband was not the sharpest tool in the shed

2. Wife was a psycho/mental bomb waiting to go off.

3. Sister is an imbecile who doesn't understand how human relationships work

4. Lover was actually not married and was a dumb jock.

The following questions are never answered

1. What hold did he have on her? Simply saying alpha three times over is insulting the intelligence of the readers or assuming we are privy to what it means in the author's mind.

2. Why is the wife (portrayed as sensible otherwise) a total idiot who thought that her hubby would go along with this?

3. Why is the sister devoid of common sense and understanding of social dictates that she can't comprehend why her brother in law wants a divorce? She might not want or like the situation but she is making it seem like the wife has taken up to exhibitionism or some such slightly harmless stuff.

4. The husband is the worst of the lot - reminds me of a worse version of forest gump. for someone as dumb as that he sure has all the skills for dealing with black masks and gels anyway.

5. Page is typical clinging character - believable enough.

6. The lover in the beginning was shown as a Billionaire with animal magnetism and being a macho alpha male. A mix of Sean Connery with Mark Cuban's money and Tiger wood's habits. Then he exhibits the behavior of a typical jock who has married for money and is scared of his wife knowing it? His language and thought process is crass/vulgar and the pimping around doesn't gel with the rest of the build up in the beginning. The scene in the police station was weird -

a- the bail logic was dumb

b- the lover was dumb and actually thought that his wife would not know what was going on (especially when she accompanied him)

c-what did the husband accomplish by going into another room again with the police and discussing the same crap again

Just too much crap in that part alone.

BTW why was there that suspicious scene with that older lady giving a strange look at him?

7. Too much of the subconscious wording during sleep - the "daddy" bit was very contrived and trite.

8. Stop with the funny names - doesn't add anything - brevity is the soul of wit (in words and ideas and characterizations ). Use occam's razor and slice it off.

9.All in all a very bad story from a prolific writer.

1: suspend disbelief, ever wonder what power James Bond has over women? probably not...

2: hubby went along with everything else during their marriage, why wouldn't she?

3: SIL sees it more like drug addiction or kleptomania or some mental disorder, hence she thinks only a bastard would desert a spouse that was so afflicted

4: not a question... so, moving on...

5: again not a question. you know the definition of "question?"

6: he wanted to inform the wife of Grayson's cheating on his own terms plus let him stew for a few days so going into the other room put her out of earshot

7: doesn't look like an unanswered question...

8: more opinion I guess, definitely not a question though

9: see above (all authors have hidden meanings behind names, most of us enjoy these, sorry you do not)

SS06 tried a "dark" tale and as a writer I applaud his effort to grow and experiment in his writing. I prefer his funny stories but at the end of the day we write these stories for ourselves (as opposed to the crap we write for our bosses/paychecks). Hope he does another "Cheaters in the ??" story soon, he has fun writing those and it shows in the work.

This is one of many stories where I would have loved a reconciliation track, but the story was riveting. The beginning set the dark stage, and the rest of the story filled in the blanks. The curiosity was palpable. Thank you, Miko, for inspiring a different, noire feel. (Btw, I want to read another story where your and Stang's roles are reversed. You are a great writer and the two of you work well together)

In the spirit of constructive criticism, there were a few details and plot holes that could use cleaning:

1: at the beginning, you said it was the first time he had kissed his angel goodnight from the side of the bed, it was apparently the second.

2: you said Sandy and Grayson were burning through the leftover money fast, but there was nothing there. Both before and after that statement, you made clear that the only money he gave her was used to provide bail.

3: the most jarring question may be my own fault. I just don't get the pocket heaters in the vents and the appliance app when he ultimately sneaks in and plugs in a faulty space heater? Wtf?!?

Thanks again for a great story.

Wulf

Your underlying premise that the jerk had so much control over her that she knew she was hurting her husband but still couldn't stop her self so many times is completely unbelievable!! You're such a good writer; how do you sometimes get so far out in left field?

In the end he is still a loser, married to someone he doesn't love. Thanks for the story.

Just wow...

Just amazing, it just shows that when pushed to the breaking point, drastic measures can be taken.