Not even worth reading. This is one of the most overrated authhors on this site.
Pretty good for something that was not your normal genre. Keep up the effort.
Hey "Anonymous" its little minds like your that gives the rest of us a bad name.
Stangstar06 is one of the better arthurs on this site. your reading free storys on a free site and you belive its ok to rip someone. Get a life you got to much time on your hands
This was a disturbing read on a number of levels and I stopped a number of times only to take a deep breath & soldier onto the end. Objectively speaking this story is a failure HOWEVER it's the kind of failure that can only be authored by a VERY skilled writer.
If ' Back On the Block ' or ' Hostile Takeover ' by Stang were akin to being Francis Ford Coppola's 'Godfathers'; this story is akin to being ' One From the Heart' . It's a mess as a whole but a mess composed of some sublime elements that can be identified , admired & marveled at any given moment.
FIrst of all Stang is out of his comfort zone & trying something new ( bravo ) . The characters are purposefully skewed to caricature levels. It's a farce and yet ...one is spooked and nauseated by the dual villains self absorption & how easily Stang breaks down their twisted rationale process. It's masterfully done but very disconcerting.
The 'gang bang ' of the good girl' was never going to happen so the tension element was missing as the story lurched & sputtered to end like a overloaded Geo Metro trying to summit a mountain pass. Strong finishes are not easy& this one overheated and blew a gasket as a final note .
In summary , I'll thank the author for a ' interesting read ' . It really was s grab bag of faults & strengths & from a critical vantage point kept this reader engaged if not enthralled to the end . Again kudos to Stang for daring to deviate from formula .
I smile everytime I see that a new StangStar6 story is published. I smile again when I am done reading it.
That you are trying to broaden your writing style out from the comfort zone. This was a good fun first attempt at doing so. Just a few small problems where you got lost with the names think it was pg5 where you were describing Bonnie but used Francine but other than that another fine effort SS thank you
Liked IT! Good Tale! Like to see Nice People Win! MORE!
And a different slant. Maybe a little too predictable but a fun read none the less. There were a couple of name substitutions, but it's hard to catch every little error and they didn't really detract from the story line.
It is very difficult to read and reread a story once you feel it's ready for posting. We are writing for enjoyment in the deed and not for any monetary gain. As "unpaid authors", we don't have a staff of proofreaders and editors to go over every word.
As to the first comment from anon on 12/30, I would say this: If you feel Stang is so over rated, why do you keep reading his stories? Wouldn't it make more sense to avoid stories by a writer that you think so little of? How many other authors do you read just so you can bitch about them and their work?
I enjoy your postings and always look for you latest. I agree that you are one of the most entertaining authors on this site. Please continue to post your work and we'll continue to enjoy it.
Your slant on this story was very enjoyable. Keep up the good work.
I love to see one annon vs another annon. Can't they just use "names"? They are easier to track.
Thanks for the story and of course thanks go to your editor as well. A TLW story thanks for writing it.
for a very enjoyable story....keep up the great work!
Another great story from SS06. Although every writer has duds, this one certainly isn’t. SS06 is clearly one of the better writers and I always look with anticipation to his stories. Some minor quibbles though:
What I don’t understand is that both sets of parents, having seen how brutal the husband behaves, don’t take steps in rescuing their daughter(-in- law) and grandson.
The gangbang plot was a bit unbelievable. They really thought to get away with that at the school premises? That nobody would blab and betray them?
The end seems a bit rushed. Your timeline vis-à-vis the closing scene should have been longer. Say, a couple of months after the facts. Now It all happens in less than two weeks which doesn’t seem to be very believable. It’s hard to believe that Bonnie and Alex fall in love in such a short time.
The husband, Steve and Francine all got of very light. Too light if you ask me. And that’s a pithy as I have no compassion for a scheming drunk wife beater and a used up whore. Because that’s what they were. In the end they still get rewarded somehow.
You mixed up Bonnie and Francine’s names here and there though. But all in all as usual a great read.
This one had its problems. Some of the characters, the husband Ted for instance, were just a little much over the top and were too heavily overstereotyped. There were also some grammatical errors that should have been caught. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this story.
It's always good to see a writer try to stretch out of the comfort zone that they live in, and this was a good effort on that level. You came up with an entertaining plot that made me want to keep driving toward the end. We realize that happy endings are not always the norm, and that the good guys don't always come out on top so many will complain that the plot of this story was unrealistic. I, for one, rather prefer that little fantasyland. Hell, we get enough darkness and unhappy endings in real life.
I always love to see another new story by you when I log into the site, and you are still one of my favorite writers. Keep up the good work and hurry up and send us another new one!
I missed the name mix up. That is my job as the editor. I will be more vigilant in future stories. I want to wish all our readers a very Happy and Prosperous New Year. hugs to all, Kate
StangStar06 is one of my favorite authors, but this story isn't up to his usual standards. I do congratulate him for stepping out of his niche, but this story was too predictable and the characters overdone.
I'll continue to read this author, however, because he is a talented writer and spins good tales. This just wasn't one of them.
Kind of a slow starter, took a while to get into. Thanks for writing.
when both Dads became brain dead. They should have taken her and Bobby out of the house on Chirstmas day. That just killed the story for me at that time.
Talk about stupid morons.... I think that Harry has yet to comment because he is tied up knots with his irritation. Someone complained about the two fathers being brain dead. Really even Alex is definitely not someone who inspires me with confidence. (He supports torturing Ted... and trains the son to do that) Basically the word caricature describes all of the characters!
Excellent work SS!
Sorry SS06 but this was nowhere near your usual standard,I actually found myself missing huge swathes of the story just to get to the finale! It sort of felt like you only had an hour to fit as many words as you could into the story,glad that you tried something different but just not one for me.
This one is an edsal
Great job Stang,
As one previous comment said, " You went out of your normal genre" It takes guts to do something like that and be willing to take a slew of new criticism for that. Since you don't have a professional editor, don' t mind the criticism on grammar, or wrong placement of name, just use it as a learning experience (note run on sentence)
Happy New Years
less than your best but I finished it. Stick to the loving wife bit I just don't think your heart was in this idea. Looking forward to your next
I really like your work usually but don't take it too bad, but if you don't have a storyline you like or maybe for once non at all. just take a vacation. anybody read that as your first one, he never comes back for another. 3 stars is almost to much
and realistic. There isn't anything in this story that could not happen. It may have been dark, but people are evil. Most will never see the side that they do not show. You see what they want you to see. Most everyone has an angle. A sweet little old lady who lives in my community had her house burglarized a couple of days before Christmas. I guess that wasn't enough because he doused her in gas and lit a match. She survived to tell the tale and the man has not been caught. Yes Virginia, some do deserve a bullet. The husband in this story qualifies. Happy New Year.....
Ted is a gorilla, a dumb animal. I'm surprised his dialog isn't just grunts. Yes, I know there are Teds out there but they are disgusting characters. He belongs in a cage. Then he and his fellow apes turn a car over during the reunion? Wow, kids might get away with that stuff but adults end up in big trouble. These goons are just too much to be believed.
Bonnie is a classically abused wife with such low self esteem that she sticks with the loser no matter what. She has people who would help her but she refuses to divorce the idiot. She is pathetic.
Steve, the "smart guy", married a hot gold digging bitch. What a genius. He also turns out to be a gorilla, just slightly smarter than Ted.
Francine & Ted's "plan" is that Ted will have good will on his side after Bonnie is drugged into a gang bang. Only one problem, as Steve learned, no fault states split the money evenly and he will still end up paying child support and possibly alimony. So, the "plan" gains nothing except for Francine sticking it to Bonnie. It actually starts to become funny that Francine is unremembered by anyone and she compares her looks and sexuality to Bonnie and can't figure out that people like Bonnie because she is nice and Francine is not.
Alex is the uber smart, uber rich, secret boss who has a nerd chip on his shoulder. It starts to get interesting that the bartenders are actually working for him. The turn around is funny and all the gorillas get fucked over. However, Alex doesn't fuck over Steve? Why not? Just so he will testify for Bonnie? There are plenty of other witnesses. Why give Steve a break and offer to help with his divorce? The final legal settlement is predicable but I really liked Bonnie punching Francine. She richly deserved it. Of course Bonnie wins her dream guy. She's lucky he was looking out for her because she is too dumb to look after herself.
It's a Cinderella story but the people in it are worse than cartoons.
It's always nice to see worthless assholes get fucked. Only it's too bad Steve got away with only payin for the prius. Great story as always.
...but, dude. You are in serious burnout and denial. This was painful. At best it was an adolescent boy's daydream. The plot was amateur hour. The characters were vapid.
You've done some good work here. Don't tarnish it. Just walk away for awhile. Come back in a month, two months, whatever it takes and write in a different genre for awhile about a guy fascinated with Camaros or something. I mean this to be constructive. Pre-intervention, if you will.
i always love ur stories very good
1. I read the bully youngs are a problem in the American schools. One of my favorite stories is 800ibgorilla's story "A Beautiful Wish" where the main character's car was damedged (broken windows, the tires cut, car painted, etc) he was druged by his scoolmates in the last High Scool meeting. He was tormented by his fellows during his all High School years.
2. Brutal violant drunken cheater husband would have been left earlier, however SS06 excellent dramaturgy wanted to meet Bonnie and Alex. I wish happiness to them.
3. The yelow envy is a strong iniciative look at Francinie.
4. Nobody wanted to get suicide at the end of the story (plus stars from me).
I'm sure being called "the most over rated author on this site" by some jerk off who hasn't written anything since little suzy pissed herself laughing at your love note in third grade, will make SS06 lose alot of sleep. Put your name to your inane shit anon.
This author is incredibly overrated. Funny how many fuckwit softcocks out there feel the need to protect him and fight his battles. He's overrated for a reason. And that reason has been explained over and over and over again, by many different commenter's.
But that's all irrelevant. There were no personal attacks on the author, just his writing. What's the matter you fucking losers, isn't anyone allowed an opinion any more??? Fucking idiots.
And what's with the idiot below demanding a login name?!?!?!? People stay anonymous for a million different reasons. It's actually what the whole fucking internet was based on. And even if the reader creates a fucking fake name and ID. So what??? Will it give you something else to attack? While defending your author again? Not allowing people a free say, are you? Idiot.
I'll come out of the closet.
I wrote the first comment.
Sucking Hard (saxon hart) excoriated me for not writing stories. I do, fucktard, and they aren't the pussy Incest stories you write, you fucking pervwit.
SS is absolutely overrated, and he CANNOT GODDAMNED PUNCTUATE!!!!!!
Is that so hard for your puny brain to comprehend?
His stories are shit, his writing is shit, he vomits all over this site, and puketards like you LOVE IT!!!!
Your choice. I have no problem with it.
But I know how to use the fucking ENGLISH LANGUAGE, which you obviously do not. Nor does SS, and I enjoy shitting on his ignorance. His editor is suspect, as well.
I will not reveal my true posting ID, and as evidence I offer the comments here. My stories have an overwhelmingly positive response, because I can put together an intelligible sentence (means readable, asswipe).
You want to engage a war of insults? I honestly do not give a flying fuck. I am right (write) and you are rong (wrong). SS is a shitty writer, and those who think otherwise are stupid.
You call Bonnie pathetic - do you know anything about abuse victims? Most are brainwashed over a period of time with the abuser starting out very loving and kind and then changing to verbal abuse, You are too fat, too stupid, do not cook good enough. (Just as Ted did in the story) Then it is a slap here and there. And then the real beatings begin. (Do you know how many women are killed each year from this?) Stang tried to capture this real life problem. There are probably at least 5 abused women that you personally know that you would never suspect because they hide it so well. Doctors, lawyers, laborers, no one is immune. Google it and check it out. Pay better attention to your family members and friends. The signs are classic. For you to make that comment makes you the one who is PATHETIC - typical man - I speak from personal experience. Many women can not just walk away due to economic reasons or no one to turn to. Many can not even admit to themself that they are abused, let alone the world. I am proud to champion abused women. And no, Stang new nothing of my past when he first started writing this. I shared my experience with him after he sent me the story to edit. OOPS - sorry I ranted again but he started it by calling her pathetic.
This story was hard going.
Domestic Abuse occurs all year around but is especially acute at this time of year which makes it especially bad for the kids!
While I loathe cheats regardless of gender, those f***heads who hit their wives should.......burn!
Thanks for the story. 4****
harsh and uncalled for. Evidently the only people he can stomach "must" agree with him or be forever dammed. In my travels around the North American continent over fifty years I have noticed and commented that to a lot of people "ignorance is bliss". I hope you continue enjoying your very "blissful" life.
Five (5) stars for SS06 for exposing the true AH.
u may b able 2 use the american lengo but pervwit really? You post anon or (a I'm a writer so take me seriously but I use a secret name) SSDD. you are a shadow shit slinger. lol pervwit, puketards & facktards Im an author really and everybody loves me. roflmao
I'm not a writer just a reader. Liked the story. Hell maybe even liked pervwit, puketards or facktards stories but I'll never know. LMAO
Good character development, good story construction and layout. I don't think I've read one of StangStars stories that I didn't like. Another good job by a good writer. Ignore the haters. They're just hating.
and its on the same scenery with different players. TK U MLJ LV NV
not the story its self, your genius lays in your ability to wind up the narrow minded humourless asshats like anon1 (justforposting) harry in va and company.
i tip my hat you, and may you continue your piss taking for years to come.
I won't say this was a good story as usual because I mostly find your stories over the wall and unrealistic. However the last few stories you have posted have been very good. I like that you are branching out and trying different approaches. Some of the scenes in this story were a little hard to believe like having a 10 year reunion on New Years Eve and the gang bang at the school but the actions of the characters were believable. Maybe not all in the same story but I have met just about everyone of your characters here at one time or another in my life. I think mikothebaby is good for you. I hope you do continue to branch out.
And to Just For Posting shouldn't that be wrong(rong) or maybe write(right)? Even people who know the English language and punctuation as well as you say you do make mistakes. To err is human.
While Saxon writes incest and his tales may not be for everyone, he at least has balls enough to call you out over yer stupid bullshit under his own name. You claim to be a popular author, yet you have no stories on here. Pervwit? You sir are a fag! Likely a brit cuckold lover, at leazt guys like saxonband SS dont hide. Fuck you jfp!
The caricatures in this story were so polarized and one dimensional, it was almost like reading one of those "Graphic Novels" but with no pictures. So obviously I loved it! Although I think it would have been hot for Bonnie to get gang banged. Great Story and look forward to more of the same next year.
Heck, I've been beating, that, drum, for months.
A man doesn't have, to be rich a saint, or an Alpha for me to, like him. A woman doesn't need to be hot, Mother Theresa nice, and a nymphomaniac for me to like her.
You've written, with a more delicate, palatte in other stories but to be safe, in this one, you went with broad, brush, primary, colors, That, is, up, to, you of course.
I decided to randomly pepper the above comments with commas because you seem to believe it won't affect their readability and I wanted to see if it is true.
Commas Anonymous has a meeting on Wedneday...just saying. Listen to the Baby.
But whether you punctuate properly or not, I would like you to keep writing. It isn't unnoticable, but if you write well enough, I don't really care.
Great story as usual and different storyline to your others, I just felt that the relationship between Bonnie and Alex took place too fast. She went from being a loving faithful wife to hooking up with Alex in 30 mins? A greater interaction could have been shown between them in high school or even in their current life since you showed that Ted worked for Alex, it could of been a little bit of serendipity...but great story...I have been trying my hand at writing and will be posting in the new year...hope you read mine and comment
Great story! i am sick of all the one sided wife cheating stories want more like this!!! Keep up the good work;)
It's very nice to see Stang try to break out of the pattern he seemed stuck in with clueless cheating wives and impossibly beautiful second chance girls.
So in that sense this is a great step up for the stories.
However... as others have pointed out the fact that the characters are so overblown as to become very one-dimensional made this story extremely disappointing.
It's fun to see a good story, but this one doesn't really have any characters to cheer for. Tom is by any standard barely more intelligent than your average rock, and is abusive and disrespectful to every other character. The fact that he's supposedly a former high school linebacker is actually believable though. The other characters are equally flat and unappealing.
So the story doesn't really fly as well as it could.
And one mroe thing, that really bugs me for some reason. There is no such thing as a partial football scholarship. Athletic scholarships are required by NCAA rules to cover everything, and cannot be split between multiple players. For football at the top level (which is hte only level where they'll tell players they have a shot at the NFL) teams can have 85 scholarships issued for each semester or quarter. Tom would have had a full ride until he flunked out. (teams cannot pull a scholarship for lack of effort, only injury, grades or the player asking to be dropped can end a scholarship.)
I know its not important to the story overall, but I jsut get driven nuts when I see sports references that are incorrect. I guess I'm just a bit of a pedant about it.
I wrote here several time why the Authors do not use a divorced exwife with children for the next connection of the good guy in their stories???? I am glad for this dramaturgy which was selected by the Author (and his assistent). Yes Rehnquist has a story where the exhusband next mate is a divorced woman with child "The Damp, Gray Gone". However the writers give wide berth to this scenarios. What is the problem with a earlier abused and other type divorced women, but not cheaters?
Too many screw ups with the names, grammar, spelling. Could've been interesting but it was so overdone.
Come back from the grave...Mr. Robert Parker? Huh? Leonard? Janet? Great good fun reading this tale of best Laid! Plans gone "a wry". Thank you.
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