by nobigwillie
It started off well and the storyline was ok, but switching between the thoughts of the two characters without any indication was confusing and spoilt the flow of the story. I also think you rushed the last few paragraphs to get the actual fuck in without any real detail. If, as you intimated, the adventures are going to continue in more episodes, it might have been better to keep something back - after all they have got two weeks together! Maybe you need the help of an editor.
you need either to do your own proof-reading or get someone to do it for you.
Example - "I was extremely jealous that would be fucking that babe later tonight." - word missing between 'that' and 'would'.
Example - "i momentarily stared at her beautiful, neatly trimmed pussy, then ..." the sentence should start with a capital "I".
There are many others.
Incidentally, why, since the rest of the story is, quite right, wtitten in the Past tense, does the third paragraph start "Tonight was the night for my dad's dinner party ..."? 'Tonight was'?
Perhaps "Came the night for my dad's dinner ....'?
Perhaps there can be more of him fucking his step-mother while his dad is away.
The only thing is not to knock her up, or old dad will know that he married another cheater.
Thanks for the read...
is it step or mom in law? title and intro dont match.plus if you know your dad left your mom for her cheating why in the fuck would you get in that type of thing with the new wife?
minor glitches which you'll work out-good story-hot sex thanks
Not the best story I've read on this site - it did bring about sex between stepmom and her hubby's son.
To be honest its the first time ive read anything like this but i loved it. Ive wanted to fuck my step mom forever
Do you even know how to structure a sentence? This was torturous to read, I strongly suggest you not submit another story until you at least graduate high school.