All Comments on 'Sholan Alliance Ch. 01'

I really would love to see some feedback on what you thought of this story. Positive and negative (as long as it isn't just 'it sucks') would really be appreciated. I do appreciate the votes though and thanks for those.

That your fleshing out a story with characters that have histories and goals and could very well exist! My brain zips to so many possibilities where you might be going with everybody .. And that is exciting! Please continue :)

I sure hope there is more to come. Your characters are just starting to become real in the mental image sense. There are so many ways this story can go, while remaining in context and exciting. I started this earlier today, but life stepped in and redirected my time and attention. Just finished reading it a few moments ago and enjoyed it immensely. At this time my very narrow focus didn't find glaring errors every other sentence or paragraph. There is no need for gratuitous sexual activity, please let the story just unfold and keep us all interested. It is not my habit to make many comments here, for others to find fault with, just the way some pick apart a work of art. Thank you for sharing this story and your thoughts with us.

For those that are following the World of Ranicke I just submitted the second chapter of book 2 last night and hopefully will be up soon. Please make sure to leave me comments with your thoughts on where I am going and what you did and didn't like.

With this series I have chapt 2-4 submitted but I have a feeling chapt 3 is going to post first since I noticed an issue with Chapt 2 and had to re-edit it. It should be up in the next few days as well. Lots of comments please.

With the last chapter of the Silver Moon my editor has been sick which has delayed her getting it back to me. Once she is feeling better she will finish the proofing and then I will be submitting it shortly after that.

I am strongly considering posting a nanowrimo.org story I did several years ago. It does deal with Dan and Mari but is totally separate and a stand alone story. I don't want to confuse anyone by using them but if I changed the names it would just screw with the story. If I do post it there will be about 5 or so chapters. I will say it is somewhat darker in nature than my other stories but that was necessary.

The conversations are a bit disjointed, responses coming a ways after the original comment and such. Still the characters are well rounded and filling out as you go.

The tech speak is quite geeky but fun as well as fitting for the speakers.

Looking forward to where this leads!

Jason

Fantastic story and well written with only minor problems in grammar and such. Not enough to really detract from the story though. If all of the rest of the story is as good as this it will be one I will love forever.

The grammar and spelling does get better but it is in the later stories. This was a story I wrote for a nanowrimo though I didn't finish it at the time. Since then my skills have vastly improved though I still have a few words which give me headaches. I am glad you are enjoying it and please keep reading.

I like the story so far but I don't like how u do dialog it's confusing to track the order in which ppl speak. It's not so bad 1 on 1 but with all 4 of them talking I got confused and had to reread some paragraphs

Couldn't finish reading it, 1*