All Comments on 'One in Ten Ch. 10'

stupid cliffhangers. love your story tho

FS.... You have one hell of a story going here..... I am so wrapped up in this story I cant begin to let you how i feel about it... PLEASE KEEP GOING.... please please.....

This series is one of the best I have read.But, please don't leave your other series as orphans. It's very upsetting to spend a long time reading the chapters in a series only to find out the series never got finished and doesn't seem to ever be concluded.

He seemed like a fresh breeze in this dystopic world where men are all whipped. Don't get me wrong, I've been reading this story all the while, and I realize that all the social shifts that had occurred are very realistically made, but there's only so much one can take of the passive sissified version of men.

So yeah, those few macho spurs that Jethro introduced were awesome in my book, and with that said, I feel that he didn't get enough limelight... maybe he should remain for a while to be sort of a Man's Life Coach for Israel? I mean - Israel and his women ARE supposed to be the few that survive and rebuild human society where there is no plague, right? And from what you write, Israel is pretty much just a boy that's still fighting his inner demons - not a real man just yet. He needs to learn that, and who is he supposed to learn it from anyway?

Jethro will be a recurring member of the cast. His home is merely the rallying point for the people intersecting Israel's life. As soon as the gather up and recharge, the exodus begins. While technically already outside the city, they are far too close to feel safe...and if you recall, Israel has been provided a destination to aim for.

Don't worry. Israel isn't going to start chewing tobacco and growing enough facial hair to scare a moose. He is being exposed to an aspect of his gender he's never witnessed before. Think of how a Midwestern housewife felt the first time she saw Mae West in the 1930's. Yes, Jethro is not a pleasant, or pretty person. He's rather unpleasant in fact. This wasn't done to contrast him with Israel. I had to envision an SOB who kept to his alien ways with the weight of Society crushing down on him, trying to make him conform - or explode. After all the acceptable parts of masculinity were consumed, he was the gristle that remained.

This feels like how I would go about in the zombie apocalypse

I used to know a "Jethro," a guy who looked at you and you knew that he was deadly. But not amoral. Just a man who had gone through hell and came out alive.

This is as good as Heinlein. I've read Sci Fi for 50+ years, and this is damned good work. FS has realistically depicted a society in a really terrible, really believable way. And he's looked at the big picture, which is amazing. I've read all of his work, and he's one of the best. Now all we need is to find a publisher.

The sex is terrific, too.

Very, very interesting to describe the last "real" man on earth (Jethro) as a chauvinistic macho SOB. I am fascinated about what Israel will be able to learn from Jethro besides the fact to treat women as objects and not as equals, because Jethro is the male counterpart to this female society. A grandfather and his grandson. I hope Jethro has same useful wisdom to share. I look forward to the next chapter.

excellent chapter, love jethro, can't wait for more!!

just two words..... 5* and more....

Wow! Israel is finally free from the loonies in the city and on the path to freedom! Jethro is a very welcome contribution to the mix and has the skill sets that the team will need in the future. I like how he uses 'Navy' and despises the 'Federation'. That was a cold shower that Angel threw Israel. They both may have deserved it, it was still a cold one. I'm hoping the next time Angel says she's pregnant, it's for real. Even Kukio should be able to say that or any of the other women in this team, but I'm not sure about Flame though. She's psychotic enough that I'd be worried about leaving her with any kids for any length of time.

This is a great chapter and seems to be filling in some of the blanks I had earlier. I just wonder what's your time line for the next chapter is? I hope it is sooner than later! Keep up the great work!!

How is that Kuiko is not surprised when Israel says that he loves 3 women ? How is that she is not surprised by his supposed love to this Zara who so far should be mystery to Israels club ( and to all the readers since so far we didnt get any reason behind that love word) ? She is not surprised even when he says he loves her .. Kuiko ..That alone should be strange to her i think ( he used to be afraid of all the women and force himself to interact with them, not talking about sex). Now Kuiko beying the most emotional or maby the only emotional girl in that group should nitice this and ask some damn important questions.

How can impulsive and hot headed Angel not interact with Israel after meeting him after run away from studio to the car and then during the cunaway in car? How can they totally ignore each other for the remainder of the day ? How can Angel not sleep with him during that night ? Wasnt they supposed to be in love ? Well i have the anwser here at least. Their next day bed scene was prob created 1st .. and the stuff that makes the scenes connected to each other was made later .. but in the meantime this no longer looks logical.

Jethro beying very fresh character here making positive waves in the story has one problem. He is supposed to be hiding from the authorities for looong time. He risks clear death sentence ( or worse ) if caught. What does he do meeting some running away from authorities people ? Heyy im a terrorist and i used to kill cops. Nice to meet u. Am i rly the only one that is surprised by hes openess in this situation ? It even gets better when he next offers guns to everybody. Remember that from that group he only knows Kuiko ..

More and more this seem to me like some surreal dream here that at some point u understand that this is not real and has little to do with real world but u still watch but only with much less thrill. Like later when Flame joins the group. She too openly admits that she kills people and she naturally likes doing it. OK no prob welcome in the group, want some assult rifle? All in all this story took at some point strange turn in my opinion from this interesting picture that was shown in 1st couple of chapters. Israel in this cruel world struggling every day to survive and remain more or less sane ( or maby even functional). Now that picture is long gone replaced by apocaliptic plague story that to me seem much much less real than this 1st picture. Unfortunatelly also much less interesting and less logical. From story that was about man with cruel past struggling with slightly less cruel present we get apocaliptic world describing some African or Chinese plague downfall. Israel struggling to shake hand with a female now openly admits that he loves at least 3 of them and decides to have sex to couple other ones. That is a man that at very start described hes most painful situation as Bethany "sharing" him with her pals. Is this a miraculus change he made somewhere between the lines ?

Well i get from all that that this story is simply no longer for me.

While this series has always had segments that made no sense, this story has reached a whole new level of idiocy. There are whole paragraphs of non-sequiturs and characters make completely bizarre decisions. Storylines have disappeared, and there are so many characters, it's impossible to keep them straight. The original concept of this was great, but at this point, it's a complete mess, and I'm guessing that the story only makes sense in the authors head.

And yes I'm doing it anonymously. Sorry. Don't have an account and can't be bothered.

There's good stuff under here. Somewhere. It started with a clear plot line, like you had control of your story. You've lost it.

Some will tell us that your writing style reflects Israel's insanity, or that he's smarter than the reader so it shouldn't all make sense until we're told about it. I disagree.

For a while this has been a stream of consciousness. Israel doesn't engage in conversation, he lectures. And that gets old. But the lack of structure is becoming a problem. You have this idea in your head and you aren't restricting yourself. Do we REALLY need this much info about China? This story isn't about China. Give us the gist of what happened. It's only the broad theme there that affects our story, not that the building took 18 minutes to be taken even though it should have taken 24 hours because the crowd suppressing vehicles inexplicably were equipped for militaristic demolition and were also impervious to attacks from swarms of military helicopters. Nevermind the logic. It just doesn't matter.

Digressions to bring a bit more to the story, to make the events feel a little more personal, that's fine. But you have to limit yourself. Tell us about the Sargent shooting the PC, then stop, for the love of God.

There's a lot of good here, but you aren't writing for the reader, you're writing for yourself. It's making it an unpleasant read. I get it. Men have been oppressed. I find myself skipping entire blocks of text because it all just says the same thing.

Personally, I'd also appreciate it if you'd chill with the intros. We get it, you're thankful to the people helping you. Honestly, with that much help, I'm mystified by some of the problems here. It's grammatically sound, but conceptually lacking. And I don't need to know if there's sex coming. Stop apologizing. No one is reading this to get off, we're here because we actually wanna read the story. Say it once, at the beginning of the first chapter, then let's move on.

You can still get this back on track. Slow it down, narrow the scope. Give us the collapse of the world from one person' perspective, not everyone's. Recognize the digressions and stop them. Let the characters have conversations, not an exchange of monologues. Not every event needs to be Ocean's 11. Use foreshadowing, give us hints of the plans, or outright tell us. Often, the way things come together simply doesn't make sense. It happens, we're lost, and then you explain it afterwards and it still makes no sense.

Two more things.

Insanity. You remind us that Israel is insane every paragraph. He very rarely actually shows it. And you shouldn't have to tell us. If he is, it's apparent. He can call himself insane for making risky decisions, that's fine, but for the most part he seems more like...a desperado, maybe? He's ballsy, rebellious, and not great at self preservation, but he is a rational actor with a plan. That isn't insanity.

Love. My god, you do like to talk about love. This traumatized man whom has experienced a variety of awful rapes has fallen in love with three women in a week and a half? He never shuts up about how much he loves Angel, but has spent at most a couple hours alone with her. Kuiko is likable, and at least she's a bit of a presence and has some respect for the guy. I still have no idea where the fuck the love for Zara came from. What, their eyes met twice, and now they're in love? This just doesn't make sense.

Thank U anon for ur comment. I had these thoughts for some time and actually i talked about it with the autor, but totall lack of any negative feedback here made me doubt my opinion.

Feedback is feedback. It doesn't require a name.

Please take into account that Israel has been under stress for ten days.

A note on background: I know it annoys some people. Personally, I prefer a little more elaboration to the reason the world is falling apart. It is not just the Plague, which is bad. It is economic collapse and consequences. This matters to Israel and company when considering where they go, and don't go. Yes, I could say 'the world economy collapses'. I choose not to.

Yes, Israel talks about love a great deal. His primary survival strategy until the story starts has been isolation/avoidance. That went down the crapper. What does he have left to cling to? He fell in love with the Aurora Slasher and, in his mind, that kept him alive. Is this necessarily a healthy emotional expression?

Do you think his love for Zara is odd? Good. Is it insane, or merely irrational? It depends how you look at it. What Zara does represent, in her minimal appearances, is protection and strength - safety. Subconsciously, wouldn't someone like Israel look for a guardian? It can't be Angel because of her cop background.

No, sim, you're not alone. It's a funny thing. This site isn't exactly built around traditional storytelling. Yet, when you stumble across something like this, which takes the erotica part out, you develop somewhat inappropriate standards. Not all of us, that's why there are so many (annoyingly) positive comments which ignore the bad. They came here for sex and got a lot more, so they're pleased. I came here for sex, got something different, and adjusted my expectations. The fact that some thought went into the story makes me want the rest of it to be good. Nothing kills me more than awful grammar, so I'm glad that isn't an issue. And i know I don't really have the right to demand top tier writing quality in these circumstances, since it's free and usually trashy and all that. Yet I do. So, author, along with my criticism, be mindful that I'm holding your work to a higher standard than the norm because it has earned it.

On to my response...

The days of stress would, in my mind, make the sanity issue worse. The guy we had at the beginning of this story simply should have cracked by now. Yes, he's been healing, but a stable person would probably be losing it at this point. As a result, I feel like he's holding it together too well in this situation.

I like to be given a bit of credit as a reader. Plague sweeps through and kills 99% of the population and only the rich and politically involved have any warning? I can make my own projections about the economy. Shit's fucked. I'd prefer that you hint at it, get us thinking down the right path, allow a character to mention it off hand. The vast majority of readers will take it from there and enjoy the story more as a result. Reading things like this should let us flex our imaginations, too. You give us the dots, but we connect them.

What Israel has left to cling to is himself. Through all his problems he has been smart and he's managed to not give up. In this chapter you started calling him a survivor, which is appropriate. In a time of crisis, he changes this policy and instead leans on the group that had caused all his problems in the first place?

No, it's not a healthy emotion. What it is is Stockholm syndrome, and it's an involuntary survival technique. It stems from complete dependence on the captor, which was the case. Having experienced and escaped that will certainly impact you down the road. Sure, I could be convinced that part of his feelings for Angel stems from it, since he may now gravitate toward that authority figure.

But then his need for independence and refusal to be dominated rears its head. The two just seem inconsistent. I know, insanity, and he's warring with himself and all that. But the mark his experiences left on him seems inconsistent.

As for Zara. It's one thing to feel a connection, to feel safe. Yeah, she is his guardian, and he may have come to depend on her. I'm sure he craves the feeling of safety. But, again, he's known her for like five days. And he's a really smart guy. He has the presence of mind to do so much and function so highly, but he's not capable of differentiating between the love he feels for women he cares about and his dependence on his guardian? Israel has not been written as someone so lacking in perspective. He has always been extremely self aware.

First: Well done. I really liked Angel's explanation of how worried she had been - and how effective (respectful, thoughtful) a simple damn call or text of "I'm not dead" would have been. Yes, she could have been more mature, but no one in this story is perfect (mirroring life again...).

Can't stand Jethro, but like Flame he certainly has his uses, and like Flame I can respect him even when I don't like him. Finding out that he was already 17 at the time of the first gender plague made his character much more understandable. I still think he would beat his wife, and wouldn't want to go near him normally, but this isn't "normal" is it? I get that Jethro's issue with Israel is not so much 'you should be like me' as it is 'you should figure out who the f*ck you are and then be it'.

I also like the fact that as much as Jethro has some issues with the inherent abuse of authority that Angel represents, he is willing to respect her (sort of) and work with her.

I loved a lot of your skillful writing. Specific lines that really blew me away: "A Grand Cosmic Law was being revealed to the world at large: Dimples wins. Dimples always wins." She is one of the smartest folks in this story - and she is wonderfully tactically ept. Well well done.

Capri's phone call to her mother. Wonderfully sarcastic. Another really smart, really well written character. And yes, speaking as someone with a comparably poor relationship to my mother, I would take time out even at the end of the world to stick it to her.

Beautiful job of show-don't-tell with the sniper shots. Yes, it really would be that confusing to figure out what was happening. Speaking of show-don't-tell, do that a bit more with Israel in terms of body language and subtle re-actions (sometimes even a moment of nausea or a clenched fist can be enough).

As for the conversation with Kuiko, and the fact that she picks up on who he loves - omegas do that. It's a quality that Israel has too. Looking for social cues and subtle interactions is a survival skill for anyone in the bottom of the social hierarchy.

I loved that Capri's comment turns out to have come from a popular book. And in the spirit of the 'this story is of a Heinlein-esque quality' (which I second), I'd encourage you to put in a Heinlein reference at some point. Stranger in a Strange Land would be too obvious. Farnham's Freehold was too horrible. Maybe a Lazarus Long reference.

The exchange between Kuiko and Flame was bizarrely awesome. I would never have predicted it, but I suddenly can see them as really really good friends. Partly because I think that Kuiko of all the people has the best chance of being able to see in Flame what Israel sees. No, strike that. I don't think she 'could', I think she already does.

My major objection to this story is ending it on the "background information" section. In general, that information comes under the heading of I think you need to explore it (in my case - speaking to my personal writing process - I would need to write it out) in order to understand the story/world as you write, yet I don't necessarily think it needs to be part of the story you publish.

I think that it could also work as snippets of information revealed to/by Zara, or to other "connected" characters. Most of the story is 3rd person omniscient with Israel as the POV character. As a comparison, I'd offer Lord of the Rings. There is a LOT going on in the world that Israel/Frodo doesn't/can't know, and the reader doesn't need to know it (or know it all) to enjoy the story.

I get that the background needs to be done/known, and that you prefer to share it with the reader. Tolkien used appendixes. I'm thinking you could use some sort of rouge internet organization and do "episodes" or something similar. My suggestion would be to always end with a bit - not necessarily a huge section - on Israel & Co. Because yes, your readership (including me) is chomping at the bit by the end of a longish non-Israel section, and that is a way of kindly acknowledging it.

Looking forward to more..

Aside to Anon who was hyping about "don't neglect your other stories"; please remember that in a pre-internet world we would not see any of any of a writer's stories unless/until publication. That you get to see part of an unfinished story is a privilege. An intimate one. Show respect for this. If you want to see more, specific compliments to the author are a much better carrot than whining.

I also got hooked on this story after the first chapter and was regularly checked for new ones. The setting, the theme and Israel were really original and interesting. But somewhere around the events in the stadium the story ran out of the rudder. The scale of events and the groups reaction, even if we take 'insane' into account, just aren't right anymore.

I really, really loved this story but at Ch.9 I got an uneasy feeling and Ch.10 was already far less enjoying to read. I hope Ch.11 gets back on track.

Hey FS,

Any word on the next chapter? I am really hooked and having withdraws from this story... LOL really love it. Hope your doing ok and will keep checking back...

I have been in the grips of a pretty mean depressive state for the past five days. In an attempt to lift my spirits, I've been writing a more light-hearted humorous story (still rather dark). I still dream about One in Ten, so I know that it is still alive in my mind - no worries despite my normal problems finishing stories. The spark is there. The mental grind of writing Israel Jensen is something I have to take a step back from. I write from the character's perspective and I immerse myself in that persona when I do. This story has been a lot of anguish to digest because of that. I've written through the cliffhanger, but my mind finally said enough. Give me a few more days, please.

Thank you for your reply.... I am sure what ever is coming next for Isreal will be great... Take care of you first..

FS, do what you need to do to get your mind right. Much as i enjoy reading this series along with your other efforts, I'm sure your fans would prefer to have you take a break and refocus than have you burn out.

A good read is worth waiting for and I have truly enjoyed this.

One thing it is not worth is your health.

Be well my friend and stay strong.

Another fantastic chapter!

I hope you feel better soon, your stories are always worth waiting for!

I'm haunted by Israel's story. I'm conflicted between the varying need to give him a break (resolution); I feel his anguish. I "know" he is suffering until the story gets told. Warm thoughts, admiration and quite frankly awe from me to you.

You are a great story teller. Israel is so real, his pain so personal that I want someone to read the final chapters (when they get written) and then me about...I need a buffer...

I'm not sure to urge you come back to Israel or take a longer break and give Taylor someone to kick.

Are you going to come back to this series? It's been quite some time since the last update and I'm getting worried that this story may go unfinished...

Strangely, today (7/25/14) I met my psychiatrist and he's given me an new sleep aid that will hopefully help me get a full-night's rest. This, in turn, will HOPEFULLY (fingers crossed) help me stop cycling from depressed to maniac as quickly as every three hours. Writing 'Life As a New Hire' is easier on me because it is dark comedy and the chapters are only half as long. I know right where Israel is. He's waiting on me too.

been a long time since I found a story I just couldn't put down and this certainly broke the drought. A great read and really would love to see a movie version.

A movie of this would be interesting that's for sure and FS I hope everything goes smoother for you. I am looking forward to the next chapter as always.

I'd enjoy reading another installment. Is there another dose?

Now I've read all your longer-ish stories.

I can tell you that the first chapters took me away from a blue streak (as strange as it may look like). Reading that it was the other way around for you I can only wish you to be fine. And write what you feel like. Should you write a new chapter of this I know it will be worth the wait.

I have really enjoyed this serious. It's incredible literature. At the same time I wish you the best, particularly in regards to your health. I look forward to reading another installment when life may allow its fruition.

It's always so hard to figure out how to end a story.

Been a sci-fi fan for over 60 years and this story ranks among the very best. Took two days to read to the end of ch. 10 and I had a hard time putting it down.

Hope your health improves and you find the will to continue this excellent novel. Thanks again..

Thank you for these stories. Your story-craft and writing skill are much better than books in shops. Take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

I really enjoyed this series. It was like Y: The Last Man (in setting) meets Transmetropolitan (Israel is just like Spider Jerusalem). Very well thought out and well written!

Please tell us that this story will continue soon! It's been months since the last update! I'd like to see more of how this is going to play out.

Get well. Your fans will be waiting...impatiently :)

Very rarely have I ever been so enthralled! Thank you!

Finally got to current the end of 1 in 10...holy shite!

While I did start to lose myself in the sidetrack of what's going on in China, I forced myself to focus on the fact that the story is bigger than just the protagonist, and went back and read through it. It really is nice to see a, more or less,  step-by-step illustration of the collapse of economic and political power. If you stuck to just Israel's pov, it would be easy to just show results without the cause. Taking the initiative as an author to think through the actually events takes some analytical and strategic thinking to make it come out right.  I see that lacking in quite a few writings.  I applaud you for that and place you in the same tier as Frank Hebert in terms of socio-economic analysis and illustration.

And I see Israel's difference and inability to overcome adversity with his fists. I read through the comments on the last chapter, and I think some readers are feeling that Israel is not meeting with their expectations of what a man would be like after what he went through... Forgetting that what he went through is a unique experience that has never occurred. Most of the criticism seems centered around the unlikely reactions, but they cite what a 'normal person' would do. We don't read books about 'normal people', we read them about people who are extraordinary, or at least who perform extraordinarily... Otherwise, it's like watching Seinfeld (which I never cared for). Yes, Israel has unrealistically overcome his past and his daemons... It'd be a boring read if he didn't.

Finally, people seem to be hung up on the whole love issues... He fell in love too quickly or with unlikely people, or with too many people... Whatever. An extraordinary person has reacted unexpectedly to extraordinary circumstances in a fictional hero story? How is this either a surprise or a problem? Maybe clarification of the level, type, and flavor of love with each person? As a polyamorous person, I can easily see him loving each girl for different reasons, and all equally deeply.

To be honest, I look to characters like Israel and Zane (from Christian College Sex Comedy) and see glimpses of what I hope I'd be like in similar conflicts, while being glad that I don't have to... Well, I think I'd be OK with having to juggle the sexual predation of a harem of beautiful women... Or at least die happy in failing to do so successfully ;).

Aaaaand of course after I hit send, I remembered another point I wanted to bring up about the sidetracks... I feel the depth and intricacy of the exposition helps add the human element that would be lost by glossing-over or omitting the events.

He can write, yes. It's a shame he is trolling everybody. Have a look at his stories. Most of them have been posted while he had still to finish some other story. He never ends a story... He's laughing at us while we wait for an end which isn't going to happen.

To bad he's not the only moron to post stories here. Many others do the same. I know, it's free of charge. Still upsetting anyway.

Oh, wait. anon, except you are just a troll who CAN'T write and finish a story to all others' liking....sad. What do you expect put of this behavior? (Spits)

You write great stories. Please finish!

Quite a good read. You could flesh it out and turn it into a full fledged novel.

I suspect you may be a published author. Your style reminds me of John Ringo, no offense intended .

People giving him crap for not finishing his stories, you finish them, in your mind or write the ending for the series yourself. He may have Robert Jordon's syndrome and is unable to wrap up his stories in a timely manner. Someone get Brandon Sanderson on speed dial.

I would like to see the escape as the world collapses. Im sure bodies will be left behind. What of Israel's offspring and the women that have had sex with him?

I would like to hear what the federation does to them. Lots of possibilities. This would be a good novel. I really enjoy the read. Excellent job.

One of the best works I think I have seen on here, if not the best. Kept me up until 3am last night reading all 10, so far, chapters.

This is stunningly good work, could probably be compiled once finished and sent off to a publisher.

Please finish this story, re-edit and publish!

please complete the series.

I can't say for certain whether or not this story is dead. I can and will send what I have written on chapter 11 to anyone who is interested. It is not enough in my estimation to publish yet and I can't be sure when I will write more of it.

Post really liked it and I felt there shoulda at least been a epaluge or some thing. He's still not had any kids that he's raised or sex with flame.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

FinalStand,

What a story. Talk about thinking out of the box. My hat is off to you.

I, like many others hope you will write more in this story. But i think you could spend the next ten years on it and still not be done.

I have enjoyed your stories, both this and 'new hire'. But, you are leaving us, your loyal readers, high and dry. Finish, dammit!!! Lol.

Started New hire, enjoyed, remembered the note at start of chapter 1 about this story, started it, Enjoyed it too, got to Shanghai and went "WHAT?" The story feels like one of those Crappy TV Cliffhangers that want to force you to come back next year now. but you completely left 1 in 10 apparently (and by that number the only place it seemed to actually apply lol was at the Office he was fired from lol). Still enjoyed it, but the weird sudden ending on the chapter and the lack of any info about more (or that its actually over) Really killed my enjoyment :(

I just recently found this story and took about a week to read it all and loved it all!!! I can't wait to see if Israel has any kids with Angel or any of the others. How soon are you thinking of coming back to this? Thanks in advance and looking forward to the next installment!!

I hope you don't mind, I read all of Jethro's lines in my best R. Lee Ermey voice. I understand the concept of writer's block, and I also understand losing the motivation to continue a spare-time project after working on it for a long time. The same thing happens to me when I make YouTube videos, I never quite finish the big projects I start. It's one of the reasons I'm not famous.

Now you've got the vast majority of a book here, the only thing left is to document the fall of humanity, and the presence or lack of hope for the future at the end. Now I'm not going to yell at you to finish what you've started, I'm sure plenty of people around here have already done that. All I can do is express my hope you'll find the inspiration to complete this story, then you can sit back with a satisfied look on your face and say, "There, now that's finished!"

You're an excellent writer, with real honest-to-god talent, aside from a few editing tidbits. (Hey, no editor is perfect!) It's been a huge pleasure reading this story, it's far above the usual swill that gets posted on this site.

Welp, I'm really bummed this was never finished. I'm actually kind of surprised that as of writing this its only been like 1 and a half years since the last chapter. Usually whenever I read a story that's not finished, 10 years already passed or something along those lines. I like your writing style a lot and the world you built was really interesting. Israel sure did like his monologues. Thanks for the wonderful read.

A majority of your stories are left undone...its a shame because you have so much talent....please finish

It would be nice to see a finish to your story.

FinalStand,

I enjoyed this one almost as much as I have the Life of a New Hire and the Christian College Sex Comedy series. I do have to say, I'm sorry that you were/are going through the mental and psychological anguish. I can't imagine that writing from the perspective of such a psychologically damaged individual is easy for you. The world you have created here is haunting and depressing on it's own, adding Israel's anguish on top of it is hard to take. But now, I'm invested and hope to see how this one ends just like your other big stories.

Be well and thanks for all that you have added to the Literotica world over the years. Here's to hoping for many more additions.

Life as a New Hire had an update in the last few weeks, so here is hope that MAYBE this one will get an update soon. I missed reading this when it came out and just now finished it. Great job, but ending it with that cliff hanger is sooo mean lol.

A Tour d' Force, but finish it!

And after TWO long years ... Chapter 11 is complete. I have sent it to my editors though it may take a little while to get it back. The next chapter does not conclude the tale though it moves things along. Two-thirds of the story plays out around Israel and Company (12,039 of the 18,095 words) with the rest dealing with how events unfold which impact those who are hunting them. The Federation President has been taken down, the civilian government is collapsing, a military coup is in process, the Vanisher Conspiracy is in its final stages, Dr. Fremont has been busy and a Global Pandemic has been declared.

Through it all, I hope I've stayed true to the spirit of Israel - struggling with his past, dealing with the calamity his decisions have wrought and grappling with the knowledge of the dangers he and his friends will face - Top of his Class ...

Please continue the story?

Chapter 11 is virtually complete. I need to get versions back from both editors, integrate the two and then submit it to Literotica. I hope it won't take more than a few more days.

James aka FinalStand

Yep, only FIVE days, FOUR months and TWO years later ... I have the next chapter submitted to Literotica.

this chapter harkens back to the pre-Federation days and we meet a throw-back who has never been assimilated. Nice contrast. It is not by accident Jethro's home features a man cave. lol

JC

This should be in a book series on Amazon it's that good. I've been buying books since ummm long ago and I have Amazon prime, I would buy this if it was a series of books it's that good. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 5 stars.